Kevin kicked back in his office and stared at his messages. A couple of offers for freelance security jobs thanks to Patrick O’Neill, a friend on the force, who routinely recommended him for work. Other than Tony, Pat was the only other guy Kevin trusted in a pinch. He was the only person, other than his father, Kevin had let know the moment he hit town again a few months ago.
He glanced at the messages, knowing he’d call these people back. A job was a job. Something to pay the bills. Who was he kidding? Nothing could compete with his previous occupation. He’d loved being a cop. It was in his blood. But Tony’s death had changed everything. In the instant he’d seen his partner lying on the ground, Kevin realized he had no business playing backup to anyone. So no matter how much he missed active police work, he was better off consulting on security systems and guarding a warehouse as opposed to a living, breathing human being.
Whether he was fulfilled or not didn’t matter.
He had two people relying on him now. Nikki and, soon, his child. That was enough responsibility.
His father had failed at the same responsibility—but Kevin didn’t plan to repeat his father’s mistakes.
The old man had been quiet since the incident with the neighbor’s dog. Too quiet, considering Kevin had threatened to stop paying his rent unless Max became steadily employed again. He often wondered if a quiet Max meant more trouble than a rowdy one.
After booking appointments, he stored the phone numbers and tossed the messages in the trash. With no other business matters to occupy his mind, his thoughts turned to Nikki.
And to his proposal. A marriage of necessity. One made in the best interests of both Nikki and his child. But it would still be a legal union with a woman who drew him in like no other. Who tempted his resolve and tested him at every turn. Who deserved so much better than what life had thrown her way. Including him.
* * *
Now that she was allowed back on her feet, Nikki made productive use of her time. She’d spent the morning at the local library, looking into alcoholism and ways to deal with the family of alcoholics—since she was about to become part of one. And she’d put in a call to her career guidance counselor at school to discuss options, and ways for her to finish her student teaching. He promised to do some research and get back to her.
Hours later, feeling good, she walked around Kevin’s place, determined to make it a real home. Mrs. Reid kept the house clean, but domestic touches were missing. It didn’t take money to convey warmth and personality, to make an empty, rambling house a place Kevin would want to return to each night.
After digging through her personal things, she added special touches she was sure Kevin had never thought of. Ones she hoped he would notice and appreciate. Flowers were next on the agenda. She’d noticed some beautiful azaleas out back. The outside of the house was a place she’d love to cultivate, but not until the pregnancy was over and strenuous activity was allowed. In the meantime, she decided to work from the inside out.
A sense of boredom? A need for fulfillment? A nesting urge born of the hormonal rush during pregnancy? Nikki shook her head and laughed. Why not call it what it was. Anything to keep busy and to avoid thinking about Kevin’s proposal.
Though she didn’t like putting him off, she figured she was allowed thinking time before verbally committing to a life-altering decision. Besides, he couldn’t be in that big a rush to make a commitment he’d avoided making before.
With scissors in hand, she headed outside. A spring breeze rippled through the air and after being cooped up for so long, the fresh outdoors felt good. Half an hour later, she’d cut her flowers and weeded a small area in the back, all without overexerting herself. Well, not too much. But the sense of exhilaration she got from good old-fashioned yard work and the hour in the sun had done wonders for her mood. The blood was pumping through her veins in a healthy way she hadn’t experienced in a very long time.
She headed back around front. After placing the flowers in strategic rooms around the house, she’d do the smart thing and kick her feet up for awhile. At the same time she hit the bluestone path, an unfamiliar truck pulled into the driveway.
She didn’t recognize the make or model, and Kevin hadn’t mentioned anyone coming to do work in the house. She glanced down at her dirty shirt, grass-stained knees and mud-caked hands and cringed. If she was lucky, this was a repairman Kevin had forgotten to mention, not a friend or neighbor upon whom she’d want to make a good first impression. Nothing she could do about it, regardless, so she took a deep breath and walked to the driveway.
From the minute she saw her visitor up close, she knew that the man was Kevin’s father. The differences were as striking as the similarities. Same dark hair, same haunting black eyes, and same handsome features. But the older man’s looks had dimmed over the years, due less to age, Nikki suspected, than hard, unhappy living. The lines in his face, and circles and puffy bags under his eyes were glaring, as was the paunch in his stomach. Yet she found herself wanting this man to like her because he was Kevin’s father.
“Hi.” She wiped her hands on her leggings—leggings she’d begun wearing because the elastic felt better than the tight jeans. Apparently nature had taken over sooner than she’d thought. “Nikki Welles.” She held her hand out in greeting.
“Hey there.” He accepted her hand. He also looked her over from head to toe. “Max Manning. Do I have the wrong house? My boy didn’t mention any female roommates or girlfriends or anything.”
She shook her head. “This is Kevin’s house.” She didn’t know whether to be insulted he hadn’t told his father about their situation or relieved she’d been granted a reprieve. “We’re…” She decided to leave the explanations alone for now. “Kevin should be home from work soon. Did he know you were coming by?”
He shook his head. “I wanted to surprise him. He hasn’t invited his old man over and I wanted to see what he’s done with my sister’s house.”
Obviously the relationship wasn’t a close one, which Nikki had already surmised from the lack of discussion or contact between the two men since she’d moved in. “Would you like to come in and wait for him?”
She didn’t want to be rude, but she was curious about this man whom Kevin didn’t talk about.
“Don’t mind if I do.”
She nodded and led the way inside, wondering what Kevin’s reaction would be to finding his father here. She hoped she wasn’t inviting trouble, yet she could hardly leave the man waiting on the street.
“Why don’t you have a seat. Can I get you something to…” Nikki swallowed the rest recalling Kevin’s description of his father, though he seemed perfectly sober now. Besides, she couldn’t remember seeing alcohol of any kind in the kitchen. “Can I get you anything?” she asked.
“Just water would be fine.”
“Sure thing. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back.” Nikki headed into the kitchen, poured water from a pitcher she kept in the refrigerator, and filled a bowl with sour cream and onion chips from the pantry.
The phone rang and she grabbed it, pleased to find Janine on the other end. She spared a worried glance at the den, then decided his father would understand if she took a few minutes to take a long distance phone call.
But Janine was full of information and a few minutes turned into ten. Nikki returned to the den to find it empty. She placed the glass and bowl of chips down on the table and shrugged. He said he’d come to take a look around, so he couldn’t have gone far. Minutes later, she heard footsteps on the stairs leading to the basement. The door opened wide and Max Manning stepped through. “Just wanted to check out the basement. See if my sister hung onto anything of interest.”
Nikki narrowed her gaze. As far as she knew, the only things in the basement were mousetraps and a… wine cellar. Damn. She studied him carefully but he looked no worse for his short visit downstairs. Perhaps she was being paranoid. Maybe there was no liquor in the basement and even if there was, how much trouble could he get into in ten minutes?
“I brought you the water and some chips.”
“Thanks.” He sat down on the couch and Nikki settled herself into her recliner. “So tell me what your relationship is to my boy.”
She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t beat around the bush, do you?” she asked.
“Can’t see any point in that.”
“Okay… we’re… good friends.” She hoped her nose didn’t start to grow. Lately, she and Kevin hadn’t shared much in the way of heart-to-heart talks, so she couldn’t really classify them as friends anymore. Though that was another thing she hoped to change.
The older man’s snort told her she’d been found out. “I’ve been around the block long enough. Try again and let’s see if I believe you.” He grinned, letting her know he meant no harm, but intended to get an answer.
The sound of a key in the lock saved her from having to answer. Kevin, she thought, and held her breath, not knowing what kind of reaction to expect.
Max’s eyes darted toward the door. When Nikki heard the slam, she knew he’d entered the house.
“So you didn’t answer. What’s your relationship to my son? Girlfriend? Roommate? Lover?”
A heated blush rose to her cheeks.
“Lay off her, Max.” Kevin turned the corner into the family room. His gaze darted from Max to Nikki, to the table with refreshments, and back to Max again. “And tell me what the hell you’re doing here.”
She sucked in a deep breath and steeled herself for what lay ahead. Max had obviously timed his question to coincide with Kevin’s entry and she understood Kevin’s gut reaction to the crass question. What she didn’t understand was why Max had chosen to act out, when he’d been at least diplomatic up until now.
She’d been right to be concerned about Kevin’s reaction to finding his father here. Max Manning wasn’t going to make this a comfortable visit. Neither, she assumed, was Kevin.
* * *
Kevin should have known the silence meant trouble. He should have anticipated Max’s behavior. When ignored and threatened in his pocketbook, Max lashed out. If he couldn’t use his fists, he’d find other means. So here he was, searching for trouble.
One glance at Nikki’s concerned expression and Kevin knew Max had accomplished his goal. He had no idea how much damage had been done in the time Nikki had been alone with the old man. Judging from his clear gaze, Max was sober. That was something, at least.
If he’d bothered to think about it, he’d have realized he couldn’t keep Max and Nikki apart forever, but he’d have liked to try. “I didn’t hear an answer,” Kevin said to his father.
Max rose from his seat. “Is it a crime to visit my son? For damn sure you wouldn’t have invited me.”
And that ought to tell you something, Kevin thought. But Max only saw things one way. His own. “It would have helped if you’d called first.”
“Like it would have mattered. You’ve been living here how long and I’ve never stepped foot inside.”
Nikki jumped to her feet. “Kevin, can I get you a club soda?” she asked.
“No boy of mine drinks that sissy stuff. Get him a beer.”
Kevin shot his father a warning look. “There’s no alcohol in the house.”
“Why not? I don’t come by, so you can’t be keeping the stuff from me.”
Nikki met his gaze, her violet eyes wide with curiosity. No doubt she’d been wondering what caused his about-face. During all the football games and holidays he’d spent with her family, he’d always chosen beer.
He shrugged. “I have my reasons,” he muttered. Why insult Max by admitting the truth? It wouldn’t do either of them any good.
“Afraid you’ll end up like your old man?” his father asked.
Kevin rolled his head from side to side in a futile effort to work out the tension brought on by this homecoming. “I’d love a club soda,” he said, hating to have Nikki wait on him, but wanting any excuse to get her out of his father’s presence.
She smiled. “No problem. Max? Can I get you more water?”
“No thanks. It’s only making me thirsty for a real drink.”
She glanced Kevin’s way, obviously unsure how to react. He gave her a small nod and she left for the kitchen. And Kevin turned to Max.
To his shock, he realized he was embarrassed to have Nikki meet his father. He wasn’t sure what that said about him as a person, but he knew what it said about Max.
“Are you going to tell me what your relationship is with the pretty lady?” Max asked, his gaze following Nikki as she headed into the kitchen.
“If you’d asked that way the first time, maybe I’d have answered you,” Kevin said.
His father shrugged, but his cheeks flushed deep red. “That was uncalled for. I just wanted to get your attention,” he muttered.
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry, tell Nikki.”
The older man nodded. “Maybe I will. So she’s your what?”
Persistence ran in the family, Kevin thought. Max would find out soon enough. “The mother of my unborn child,” he admitted. Another realization blindsided him. If he and Max had ever shared a normal father/son relationship, Kevin might have confided in him earlier. He might have asked for his advice. Instead, Kevin had always played father figure while Max acted the role of immature child.
For once, Kevin found himself hoping this time would be different. Hoped Max would show signs of caring for Kevin—the way Kevin cared for him.
He stared hard at his father, hoping to see some redeeming signs. Signs that would help Kevin face his upcoming role with some degree of certainty that he had it in him to be a decent father. Because he suspected there was some decency left in his own old man.
“I hope you’re planning to marry her,” Max said. Then he grew silent.
Kevin was surprised as well as grateful. “I am.” If she even wanted him.
Max nodded.
“Now what’s this visit really about?” Kevin asked him.
“I wanted to see where you’re living now. I wanted to visit my son.” Max met his gaze. “And to thank you for cleaning up my mess the other night.”
A part of Kevin wanted to believe his father, while the weary part of him that had seen this routine before fought against it. Before he could answer, Nikki rejoined them, a glass of club soda in hand.
“I defrosted chicken for dinner and there’s enough rice,” she said, her wary gaze darting between Kevin and his father.
She’d surprised him again. Mrs. Reid had done all the cooking since she’d been hired. He didn’t expect or want Nikki to make his meals. And she’d picked a hell of a day to start—not that she could have anticipated Max.
Kevin stifled a groan. What he didn’t need was Nikki playing mediator. He and his father had had perhaps their first civilized conversation ever. He didn’t want to push things too far or expect too much.
“I’d like to stay… if I’m welcome,” Max said, as if daring Kevin to object now.
“Kevin?” Nikki asked, deferring to him. Once again, he found himself at a loss. Unsure of how to handle this woman who seemed to have taken over his home—and his life.
One day at a time, he decided. He wasn’t capable of much more.
Hoping he didn’t regret his decision, Kevin turned to Max. “I’d like you to stay, too.”
* * *
She’d made a huge mistake. Nikki didn’t know why she’d gotten involved, why she’d invited Max to stay for dinner. She’d caught glimpses of his belligerent, nastier side, but then she’d overheard him apologize and be sort of sweet to his son. And she’d turned into a marshmallow. The first dinner ever she’d prepared for Kevin—and she invited company.
Was there something subconscious involved there, she wondered wryly. So here she was, with Kevin on one side—and a now drunken Max on the other.
She toyed with the rice on her plate. Kevin had insisted on helping her in the kitchen while Max watched television in the family room. Time had gotten away from them and at least forty minutes had passed. She’d been so on edge about the entire evening, she’d forgotten Max’s earlier trip downstairs. Apparently, Max hadn’t. And, apparently, there was more in the basement than just wine. Because Kevin’s father was rip-roaring drunk.
“Do you want to just drive him home?” Nikki asked, softly.
Kevin shook his head. “Let him eat and maybe he’ll sober up,” he said, disgust evident in his tone.
She sighed. She felt so responsible for the way the evening had turned out. If only she hadn’t invited him for dinner. If only… She shook her head. If only wouldn’t change a thing. She’d do her apologizing later, but she had to help Kevin through this meal first.
She pushed her plate aside. Her appetite had fled the minute she’d come into the family room to find Max and a nearly empty bottle of whiskey. “The coffee should be ready. Let me go check.”
Max stuffed a forkful of rice into his mouth. “Don’t need any.”
“But you’ll drink it if you know what’s good for you.”
Nikki rose from her seat. She knew she was better off getting the coffee than remaining in here with Max.
“She doesn’t look like she’s having a baby.”
Nikki froze. Although she knew Kevin had told his father about… their situation, she wasn’t sure what an intoxicated Max would say about it.
“Go on and get the coffee, Nikki,” Kevin said.
She didn’t take offense at the order but her legs wouldn’t move. She wanted to hear what came next, certain that Max wouldn’t disappoint her.
He laughed loud and hard, but his tone had turned malicious. So were his words. “But if she’s set up house here, she must be. Told you you’re like your old man. Trapped before your time.”
Nikki cringed, realizing for the first time what kind of household Kevin had grown up in. Understanding now why he was so withdrawn, and comprehending why he felt the need to protect and turned on himself when he failed.
That Max’s drunken words echoed her own fears wasn’t lost on her either. Kevin stood. “Instead of the coffee, just bring me the car keys,” he said, never taking his gaze off his father.
Nikki jumped at the chance to get the older man out of the house. When she returned, she handed Kevin the keys and he steered his father toward the front door. “Wasn’t done with my meal,” he muttered.
“You were done a long time ago,” Kevin retorted.
When they reached the door, Max glanced over his shoulder. “He might think he’s high and mighty and better than me, but the apple don’t fall far from the tree. You both remember that.”
Kevin gave him an abrupt shove out and the door slammed closed behind them. The sound of the car engine reached her ears. Wrapping her arms around herself, Nikki shivered. No matter how far away Max got, his parting words continued to echo in the empty house and in Nikki’s ears.
Not because Nikki believed him, but because she was all too afraid that Kevin did.
* * *
Kevin deposited Max face down in his bed, fully dressed, then headed on home. Facing Nikki tonight would be harder than looking in the mirror each morning, and that was saying a lot. But putting it off wouldn’t change the fact that his father was a drunk and had made a despicable scene. He’d also uttered truths Kevin would have preferred remained unspoken. But what the hell. It was nothing Nikki didn’t already know.
And, if by chance, she’d started believing in fairy tales, tonight had dispelled the myth. So perhaps he owed Max for that. He stepped into the darkened house, expecting to find himself alone, Nikki closed in her room. He didn’t figure she wanted to look at him any more than he’d be able to meet her violet eyes. Eyes he was sure would be filled with pity or disgust. He couldn’t tolerate either.
Though the house was quiet and the overhead lights were off, the soft glow of a lamp beckoned to him from the family room. Just like Nikki to be thoughtful and leave a light burning for him, he thought.
With a weary groan, Kevin stepped inside the room.
“Are you okay?” Nikki asked.
Her soft voice took him by surprise.
Kevin was used to Max. She wasn’t. He glanced her way. “Are you?”
She bit down on her lower lip. “I feel responsible. He went into the basement earlier and I forgot to mention it… what with dinner and the tension, not that there’s an excuse…”
“Stop right there.” He held a hand up to forestall any more explanations.
“I don’t blame you for being angry.”
He raised an eyebrow. “If I’m angry at anyone, it’s at myself for subjecting you to him.”
“Don’t you think he’s responsible for his own behavior, not you?”
Kevin couldn’t help but grin. “Using that logic, you ought to lighten up on yourself, too.”
She tipped her head to one side. “So you’re not upset with me.”
“No, Nikki. I’m not upset with you.” How could he be? She was the one person who made him want to be better than he was—and the one person he kept letting down.
“But you’re still upset.”
“You always were perceptive.”
“I’m also here. For you.”
Though he’d be damned later, Kevin couldn’t resist the temptation—or the solace she offered. She held out her arms and he walked into her embrace.
* * *
No hesitation, no uncertainty. One minute Nikki was standing alone, the next he was there. She had no illusions. Kevin needed someone. If he hadn’t been emotionally drained, he’d never have turned to her now.
But somehow, it didn’t matter. Solid and sexy, his hard body aligned with hers, leaving no doubt where this could lead.
If she so desired.
She cupped his cheeks in her hands. If she desired. As if wanting him was ever in question. She’d sought the chance to show him what they could share. It seemed she was getting her wish in a way she’d never expected. Maybe she’d regret this in the morning. Or maybe she’d be looking at a brand-new start.
What better way for them to begin again than with the ultimate act of intimacy? If nothing else, they were good at that. Good at giving of themselves when the other one was in pain. What was so wrong with that? Didn’t that show a depth of caring not many people possessed?
He grabbed her wrists. “You know we shouldn’t do this.”
“Why not? It’s not like I could get pregnant,” she said with a grin.
Her attempt at lightening the situation worked, and Kevin laughed. But only for a moment. “I’m no good for you, Princess.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of what’s good for me?” she asked. Her body ached in delicious ways and all because she was in his arms, inhaling his scent and imagining them entwined more deeply. She drew a breath for courage and pressed closer to him.
He let out a slow groan. “Nikki…”
“No more words, okay?” She touched her mouth to his. His lips were warm, but remained closed.
After seeing his father in action, Nikki understood how Kevin’s mind worked. He’d never had anyone give to him or take care of him. Rather, he’d always been the strong one. Which was why he possessed that all-consuming need to control. About why he tended to treat people like they needed his protection.
“I don’t need your protection,” she murmured. She threaded her fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands between her fingertips. “But I do need you.”
* * *
A man couldn’t resist a plea like that—even if the reverse were true. Nikki didn’t need Kevin as much as Kevin needed her. She was warm and giving, and she wanted him. She wasn’t holding his father’s behavior against him, nor did she seem disgusted by tonight’s scene.
She seemed only concerned…for him.
And he needed that right now. Needed her. He cupped her face in his hands, much as she’d done to him. And he kissed her the way she demanded to be kissed. Her mouth opened in return and he lost himself in her.
Their clothes landed haphazardly around the room. Wanting more for Nikki than a fast tumble, he swept her off her feet.
“You do realize you’re lifting two of us,” she said, laughing.
“Do you hear me complaining?”
“I hope we’re going to bed,” she murmured. Her tone was sexy, her eyes glazed with desire.
“Can’t argue with that.” And he couldn’t. Not with them both undressed. The warmth of her skin heated his already overloaded senses. They made it to the bedroom and he lowered her to the bed before following her. At least the sheets were cool, a contrast to the fever burning inside him.
Kevin felt the give and take between them, sensed the need when he cupped her breast in his hand. The soft mound was fuller now than last time and the reason why was staggering.
With every movement and every touch, he was in tune to Nikki. But he couldn’t escape the feeling in his gut that they weren’t meant to be. That this time was inevitable, but it couldn’t… shouldn’t happen again. And from the frenzied way she writhed against him, he had a hunch she knew it, too.