“Savannah, I’ll leave the evening up to you.”
When Lauren finally looked at me, I felt like I was burning from the inside out. It wasn’t just from embarrassment. She was an attractive, intelligent woman, and the more I got to know her, the more she ticked my boxes, even though she wasn’t an option. On top of that, I was mortified at what had happened earlier this evening. I managed to force a smile. “Thanks, Lauren.” She gave me a soft nod and left the room. I exhaled. That had gone better than expected, but then I knew Lauren would be professional regardless of what happened behind the scenes.
Emma, the preschool teacher who would be on tomorrow’s group date, tapped my shoulder. “Would you like to go for a walk?”
“Definitely,” I said. I couldn’t remember a lot about her other than her occupation. She was quiet, like Kaisley, but older. We went inside because it was too loud outside. The contestants didn’t have a lot of places to go since we were at my mansion, and most rooms were off-limits. We found a small study off the foyer.
“How was the group date today?” she asked.
“It was very entertaining. But don’t worry. We have fun things planned for tomorrow’s date, too.”
“I’m kind of sad I didn’t get to hang out with dolphins, but I trust that whatever you have planned tomorrow will be perfect.” Her Kentucky accent only added to her charm.
“What do you do for fun?”
“I hike with my family and friends. We have a ton of national parks in Kentucky.”
Everyone’s hobbies made me realize what a joke my life was. I didn’t do anything. I’d been camping maybe a few times with friends during my twenties, but most of them had drifted to other friends because I was a dud. Jane was my ride-or-die friend. She was the only one who got me to do things outside of work. “Hiking’s a good way to stay in shape.” I nodded as though I hiked all the time.
“Do you like it? It’s too bad we can’t hike around here.”
“I know what you mean. What else do you do when you’re not working?” I took a moment to study Emma. She had gorgeous dark-brown, straight hair that fell past her shoulders and chestnut-brown eyes. She wore a conservative cream-colored dress that made my outfit look skimpy. It was the only time I regretted picking it over the more conservative red dress.
“I like puzzles and creating things. I love coming up with art ideas for my preschoolers. You can learn a lot on Etsy and Pinterest,” she said.
She ran her finger back and forth across the ribbed pattern of the sofa. She clearly wasn’t used to cameras a few feet away from her face and averted her eyes several times. Or maybe she was shy. “I bet there’s a lot for teachers on Pinterest.” Her eyes lit up, and I knew immediately that the rest of our chat would be about craft projects for children under five. Emma wanted to settle down and have kids. I could almost hear her biological clock ticking.
“Like you, I love making things. I have a small store on Etsy. I’ve learned so much from the internet.”
I had a love-hate relationship with the internet. I loved the resources but hated when I came across memes or gifs of myself. It didn’t happen a lot, but when it did, it hurt. “It’s been a blessing for the most part.” A knock on the door interrupted our bland conversation as Lyanna peeked into the room.
“Here you are. Can I interrupt?” she asked.
Emma visibly bristled at Lyanna’s sudden appearance. “We just sat down, and since you had time with Savannah earlier, I’m going to have to politely decline your interruption. I need some one-on-one time.” And then she turned her back on Lyanna and gave me all her attention. “You were saying?”
I smiled apologetically over Emma’s shoulder. “I’ll find you in a bit.” Lyanna nodded at me and slipped out of the room. I focused back on Emma. “I like how you stood up for yourself.”
“It’s so hard to get to know you when I have to share,” she said. She touched my arm softly. “I spend so many hours with them, and it gets catty sometimes.”
That remark piqued my interest. “Is there any house drama that I need to know about?”
She hesitated so I pressed. “I remember being in your place and wanting to tell Katie what was going on but didn’t want to snitch on my housemates either. I get that you’re in a tough spot.” Like every other show, the drama was overinflated. But I also wanted to protect the sparkettes. If nine out of ten people told me one person was being an ass, I should probably investigate.
“Sometimes I don’t think Madison is in it for the right reasons.”
I couldn’t stop the surprise from registering on my face. Emma had picked up on Madison’s vibe, too. “Interesting. What makes you think that?”
She shrugged. “It’s just a feeling. She’s very standoffish with the rest of the housemates. The only person she ever spends any time with is Thea. They always have their heads together and laugh when somebody walks in. I mean, it’s probably just high school antics, but it’s hard being outside of a clique, even if it’s just two people. You can’t help but think they’re making fun of you or at least talking about you.”
I knew too well. “Have you heard her be mean directly to anyone?”
“No. It’s just a feeling. It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
I touched her hand. “Thank you for telling me. It’s always good to know what goes on over there. I only get to see everyone’s best side, and I’m making one of the biggest decisions of my life. I’d like to know that other people feel the same way.”
Her fingers locked with mine. “I’m here for the right reasons. I think you’re charming and beautiful and sweet. I know this journey might be hard for you, but you’re doing the right thing.”
My list of top five kept changing. This was going to get tougher, and I was going to hurt good people along the way, but I had to remember this was about me and what was best for my life. “Thank you. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you better, too. As unfortunate as this sounds, I probably need to get back out there, but I promise that tomorrow I’ll pull you aside first for some one-on-one time.”
“That would be great,” Emma said.
Her gaze darted down to my cleavage before she stood in front of me for a hug. I followed her back outside, where the rest of the contestants held fruity cocktails and were in the middle of some sort of dance-off. I couldn’t help but laugh at adults doing old-school dances like the Cabbage Patch and the Sprinkler and Alix teaching three women the Running Man. Under no circumstances was I going to dance in this dress. I grabbed a cocktail and worked my way around to everyone. After an hour of making pointless small talk, I was done.
The sparkettes were finally shuttled off, and I dragged myself up the stairs to my room. The crew was still shuffling about, but I closed my door and ignored any mumblings from headsets or beeps off in the distance. I hung the dress up, showered, and slipped into a 10,000 Maniacs concert T-shirt and a pair of boy shorts. I wasn’t expecting Lauren tonight, or any night for that matter, after what had happened earlier.
It was after one, and I had to be up at ten for the next group date. Another day at the beach. We were scheduled to go sailing. That made for a small environment, and I hoped I had paired the groups well. I almost yelped when I heard a soft knock at my door.
“Savannah? Are you still up?”
Oh, fuck. It was Lauren. I looked at my pajamas and grabbed a robe. “Come in.” I sounded hoarse and desperate. I cleared my throat. “It’s unlocked. And I’m dressed this time.”
She dropped her head into her hands. “I’m so sorry about that.”
I forced out a laugh and waved her off like it wasn’t a big deal, though my pulse was throbbing under my skin, and my heart felt light now that she was here. Suddenly I wasn’t tired. “It’s no big deal. So many people here have seen me naked.” That wasn’t true, but I was trying to make her feel better.
“I really should have knocked.”
I shrugged and ignored her. We had both apologized, and it was time to move on. “Have a seat. Tell me about your night.” She sat in the chair farthest from me.
“It was kind of boring. I had a late dinner, looked at some earlier footage from your group date, and got some rest. Tell me about yours.”
“It was fun to relax with all the contestants tonight. Why didn’t we have a candle ceremony?” Not that I was looking forward to sending anyone packing, but that ritual had to start soon.
“We’re working some things out first. Look at it this way. It gives you more time with the contestants. That’s a good thing, right?”
I crinkled my nose at her. “What if I already know who I want to leave first?”
“This is our cone of silence.” She waved her hands around the room. “You can trust me.”
I looked into her eyes. “I know.” My voice was lower than I wanted. “I trust you.” She glanced away. We were having a moment, and I couldn’t let that happen. Lauren was a professional, and I was tripping over my emotions because of my lack of sleep during the last three weeks. “I’m not super fond of Madison. Hopefully, that reaction doesn’t come across.” I raised my eyebrows and smiled. “I mean, you can tell me that, right? You aren’t my therapist or under any contractual obligation not to talk to me, are you?”
Her first genuine smile of the night. “My job is to help you. I can talk to you on camera, off camera, whenever you want.”
“Except I can’t call you or text you.”
“No, but we have a staff of about thirty people who do know how to reach me.”
She pointed to the doors behind her as if people were lined up out there to help. Most of the time they ignored me and acted as though I didn’t exist. “I’m tired of talking. I don’t know how you do it. I’ve had to be on point for hours. Tell me something. I don’t care what. Tell me one thing that most people don’t know about you.”
“Brace yourself.” She held her hands out and pressed them down as though keeping herself from falling. “I want a dog, but my career doesn’t really allow me the time for one.”
I sat up straighter. “Get one. And bring it on the set. Having a dog on staff would be amazing for all the flames and sparkettes. Dogs are so good at making people happy, if you have the right kind.”
She frowned at me. “Is there such a thing as the wrong kind of dog?”
“Good point, but I mean a big ole golden retriever or Labrador on set would be so much fun. They’re too big to trip over, and people can’t help but want to snuggle with them or pet them. Oh, and they’re great therapy dogs, too.”
“Sounds like I’m not the only one who wants a dog,” she said.
I shook my head. “I wish I could have one, but my store is in a strip mall without any grassy areas, so the poor pup couldn’t come to work with me. Trust me. I’ve thought about it. Plus, I work stupid hours.”
“The joys of working in a desert,” Lauren said.
“I’m rethinking my location. My lease is up at the end of the year. I’m considering Windsong. Same size space but cheaper, closer to my house and grassy areas.”
“Do you get a lot of foot traffic? Could your business be strictly online?”
“It was, and then I decided I wanted a store. I do okay, but maybe I should go back to online only.”
Lauren moved closer. “Listen, don’t listen to me.”
“Listen, but don’t listen?” I smiled when the dimple popped out.
“You know what I mean. Sometimes I get ahead of myself. If having a store is your dream, don’t let me talk you out of it.”
I sighed. “It’s tough. Dreams aren’t always great or right. I’m sure with the money from the show, I’ll rethink the business. I like making candles. I know that sounds boring and not challenging, but it’s what I’m good at.”
Lauren touched my hand. I watched as my fingers held hers. Neither of us let go. “You are thirty-two years old and running your own business. That’s admirable.”
“No, you’re—wait. I don’t even know how old you are.” I blushed at not only her nearness but my embarrassing ramble. “It’s none of my business, but you have done so much with your life. You’ve worked for CNN, traveled the world, done at least two news shows, and have taken on a pretty crappy show and made it one of the network’s biggest successes. You’re amazing and have probably surpassed all your dreams.” She blushed, but I meant every word. “Your family must be so proud.”
The noise she made was a cross between a sigh and a bitter laugh. “My dad is a hard-core Republican. My mother hangs on his every word. We don’t talk much.”
“No. That’s awful.” Our fingers were now entwined. My sluggish heart kicked up several notches at the contact, and I was begging myself not to sweat or freak out. She needed a friend. That’s what was happening here. “I’m sorry. Most people take their family for granted. Even though it’s just my mom and I, we try to stay in touch as much as possible.” That wasn’t entirely true. I could do better. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“I have a twin.”
“Shut up. Identical?”
“Fraternal. A brother.”
“How am I just learning about this now? That’s very cool.”
My shoulders dropped when she let go of my hand and got more comfortable on the couch. “He’s a lot like my parents. He’s definitely their favorite.”
“I don’t believe that for one moment. I mean, unless he’s in the NFL or a doctor who discovered a cure for cancer, and I highly doubt that statement.” I couldn’t imagine anyone being disappointed in Lauren.
“He’s a firefighter with a wife and two young children.”
“Is this a guy thing?” I knew parents who loved their sons because they were boys and would carry on the name and all that patriarchal bullshit.
“Not a guy thing, but a gay thing.”
And just like that, Lauren officially outed herself and changed the game for me.