“How good is your Spanish?” I asked Emma.
We were in Cancun on a little bus that was taking the five of us to Chichen Itza to see the Mayan ruins and swim in the waters of Saamal. It was so beautiful in Mexico, and I knew the cameras wouldn’t be able to do it justice.
“I took three years in high school, so I can get you to the library, the bathroom, order you a beer, and sing a few lyrics from several Shakira songs,” she said.
Her Kentucky accent was so strong I doubted anyone here would be able to understand her if she spoke Spanish. Most of her words were drawn out, but she didn’t care. Emma was a go-with-the-flow kind of woman. She was going to have a good time here regardless of any upcoming candle ceremonies. We had two ceremonies in Mexico, and then the two sparkettes left standing would go home to visit my family.
My shoulders sagged when I thought about my mother being put on the spot. I’d offered up Jane as my family until I had a chance to discuss it with my mother. I was sure by now she and Jane had chatted about my impromptu decision. Everything had happened so quickly that I knew I would have to beg for her forgiveness. I couldn’t imagine she’d want to talk on television and be on the show. She loathed attention.
“Hello? Savannah?” Emma tapped my arm to get my attention.
“Oh, sorry. I have a lot on my mind.”
“It’s too beautiful here for you to have anything heavy on your mind,” she said and laid her head on my shoulder.
I tried not to panic. It was a move that she could’ve made in private, but we were getting angry stares from Ophelia and Kaisley. I sat up straight, prompting Emma to move. “Oh, look at that.” I pointed to a road sign as we whizzed by.
“What’d I miss?” Emma looked around, moving her head from side to side.
“Five kilometers to our destination. We need to gather our things.” I heard Alix laugh and cough to cover it up. They saw the whole thing. I gave them a wide-eyed look and grimaced. At least they knew that it had been uncomfortable for me. Hopefully the cameras on the bus didn’t pick it up.
Our tour guide, Luis, met the bus when we pulled up in a parking lot near the pyramid. The fact that we were here was incredible. I wasn’t likely to visit another one in my lifetime, so I was going to be damn sure I appreciated today. We had the private tour, which gave us the place to ourselves for an hour so no one could leak who the final four contestants were. I was surprised when Lauren joined us.
“Hi,” I said with a little too much enthusiasm. I toned it down. “Will you be on the tour with us?”
“I’ll be here only because this is amazing, but I’ll be behind the crew.”
“Take lots of pictures,” I said and pointed at her phone.
She nodded. “After the tour, you’re going to have a break, so we’ll have an opportunity for one-on-one time.” She waved good-bye before disappearing behind the five or six camera people, who fanned out to get all kinds of footage from different angles.
“Luis, what can you tell us about Chichen Itza?” I wanted to bring the group together so the tour would go fast and maybe I’d get a chance to see Lauren again.
“Thank you.” He nodded his appreciation at me being able to quiet our little group and started spouting off historical facts. His theatrics made for a better tour, and at the end of it, we all shook his hand and thanked him for being wonderful at his job. I wished I could’ve tipped him but was sure the show compensated him well.
“Would you like to take a walk?” Kaisley said before we’d even reached the rest area that Sparks had set up with a local hotel.
“Can we eat first? I missed breakfast.”
“Oh, sure. When you’re done.”
I liked Kaisley. She was second out of the contestants, but I was afraid I’d break her heart. If my own heart was in it, it was a tough matchup between her and Alix. Kaisley had showed me her passionate side, which was a massive turn-on. She was sweet, kind, gentle, attractive, and one of her luxury items was a photo of her son, Kaden. She was perfect, just not for me. She was going to get hurt. I hated leading people on, but I’d gotten myself into this mess and was going to have to ride it out.
“Can you believe all of this food?” Emma asked.
“I’m hungry. How about you?” I picked a plateful before I even got halfway down the table. We were given half an hour to eat, with minimal cameras. Privacy was a no-no, thanks to my impromptu visit to the contestants’ house weeks ago. I had a camera trained on me all the time.
“Has anyone been here before?” Alix asked the group.
“I’ve never been out of Kentucky, except for a trip to Disneyworld and a road trip to Nashville,” Emma said.
I had been on many road trips with my mother, and we’d even traveled up to Canada, but once my business started, I stayed in Arizona. I went to New Mexico with Jane to pick up supplies, but that didn’t count. What the fuck had I actually done the last ten years of my life?
“I’ve been so many places, including Mexico City and Guadalajara,” Ophelia said. “This is my first time to Cancun, though.” She turned to Emma. “I can’t believe you haven’t traveled more.”
I rushed to Emma’s defense. “I’ve done nothing but build my business, so I haven’t been to many places either. I’m sure Emma’s had her reasons.”
Ophelia smiled but backed down. I refused to let anybody make anyone else feel bad for their life decisions. Traveling wasn’t for everyone, and it required money. As a preschool teacher, Emma probably wasn’t rolling in the dough. Even though I had my own business, I still lived paycheck to paycheck.
“The important thing is that we’re here now, and we get to swim in the most amazing caves in the world. Eat up. I’m ready to see more,” Alix said. They approached everything with gusto. Their attitude was refreshing and contagious.
“Yes. I’m almost ready.” I shoved the last of my sandwich into my mouth and looked for Mandee. A small tent was set up for privacy behind us, and she waved me over when our eyes met. I excused myself and followed her into the cool tent. “Why can’t we pick somewhere like Iceland or Finland, where it’s not so damn hot and my makeup doesn’t need touched up every few minutes?”
She shrugged and pointed to the back of the chair. “Then we wouldn’t see you all frolic in your bathing suits.”
I looked at her, offended at first, but she was right. “Maybe if we had a full season, there would be some sled-dog races somewhere very north, where my hair wouldn’t fall limp and my makeup wouldn’t sweat off.”
“Then we’d have to worry about static electricity and dry hair and pale skin. There’s no perfect place. Now sit back, and let’s get your makeup ready for swimming.”
“That sounds ridiculous.”
“That’s because it is.”
* * *
Tomorrow was a blackout day, and we were instructed to stay in our rooms. The weather was going to be crappy anyway. The contestants bunked together in swanky suites on the other side of the resort, but I had one all to myself. It looked like the honeymoon suite, with beautiful roses everywhere and a giant Jacuzzi tub. I immediately knew what I was going to do with my downtime. I was surprised to have a television in the room, but only local channels were aired, and they were in Spanish. My journaling was going nowhere. I was bored. And when I was bored, bad things happened. The knock at my door scared me. I opened it and found a guy I’d met before on the set of the contestants’ house.
“Hello, Miss Savannah. My name is Jason. I’m security for the show and will be here in the hall if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Jason. I should be good for the evening.” I locked the door and flopped onto the bed. We had four days in Mexico, and then the remaining two contestants and I would head to Scottsdale. In less than three weeks, it would all be over.
I was dreading the “Secrets Revealed” show before the final candle ceremony. Madison and Thea were for sure going to come guns blazing and say awful things, but most of the audience wouldn’t take them seriously. I was more worried about the people who I’d either already hurt or was going to be hurt. It was unfortunate but a must.
I turned on the shower and found a casual skirt and an off-the-shoulder shirt. I knew I was going to sneak out before I even made plans. The balcony was a foot off the ground, so getting out would be easy enough. There were bars down the street, and since it was a weekend, the town would probably be packed. I had all Mandee’s makeup at my disposal and had watched her enough to know how to put it on. I grabbed a large, obnoxious, floppy straw hat and sunglasses, even though it was dark out. I had a minimal amount of cash at my disposal, but enough for at least a drink or two.
I turned off my lights and sneaked out the sliding door. Climbing over a railing in a skirt was a zero out of ten for me. I fell the short distance to the mulch below and basically flashed everyone in slow motion. I popped up and pretended I was fine and did this all the time. I slipped into foot traffic and walked to the next street over, where I heard music and laughter. I felt free and smiled for the first time in forever. I walked into the first bar and ordered a shot of tequila. I deserved to let loose on my terms, not whenever the show expected me to.
“What are you doing here?”
Somebody twirled me in my bar stool, and I yelped in surprise. “Lauren. How did you know I was here?”
“I saw you fall off your balcony and followed you.”
I downed the second shot and hissed as the sharpness of the alcohol slowly coated my throat with liquid fire. “I needed a moment. I needed to be around people and not cameras.”
“I get it, but you can’t be out here. It’s not safe, and it’s against the show’s policy.”
I leaned into her personal space, starting to feel relaxed. “You’re so pretty when you’re angry.”
She stepped back and brushed her hair back with her hand. “Finish up so we can get back.”
I pulled her hand. “Come on. Let’s loosen up for a night. Nobody knows who I am. I’m in disguise. Look at this hideous hat and glasses. People are going to recognize you before me.”
“The hat and sunglasses draw more attention. And I don’t think you realize your popularity. It’s exploding,” she said.
I shrugged, even though the thought made me smile for a moment. This season was going down in flames, too, and once again, I would become an internet joke. “I just wish it would be for the right reasons.”
“Well, right now the world is pulling for you. And when I say world, I mean everywhere, including Cancun, so we need to get out of here now.”
“Fine.” I slid off the stool and threw my only twenty-dollar bill on the bar. “Let’s go, boss.” She didn’t say anything but followed me out and onto the street. We were only two blocks from the hotel, and I could feel the impending loneliness squeeze inside of me. Even though Lauren had a longer stride, I stayed ahead of her like an angry, pouting child.
“We’re not going to climb your balcony. We’re going in through the door,” Lauren said and directed me away from the bushes.
“Won’t we get into trouble?”
“As long as I’m with you, we won’t. Do you need anything tonight?”
“You mean before I’m locked up?”
We turned down my hallway, and Jason looked surprised. Lauren pulled him aside, and he nodded at whatever she told him. He walked away. I turned to her when I reached my door.
“I don’t have my key.” She pulled out one from her back pocket and swiped it in the lock. The button changed from red to green, and she pushed the door open. “You have a key to my room? Have you been inside?” I should have been shocked that she had, but at the same time, I knew she would never do anything sinister with it.
“I just got it from Jason. It’s for safety reasons.”
“Do you really think it’s safe to be in my room?” Ah, the tequila was kicking in right on time.
“I want to make sure it’s safe. You left your patio door unlocked, and anybody could’ve crawled in.”
She moved past me and checked the closets, under the bed, and in the adjoining room. I stood there as she zipped around me on her safety mission. I was pretty sure Jason could have done this. “What do you think about the place?” I swooped my hand around like I was Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune.
“It’s lovely.”
“Why are you so grumpy?” That question made her stop checking for hidden cameras.
“Because you’re doing reckless things, and it’s stupid when we’re this close to the end. You’re going to ruin our chance.” She put her hand over her mouth and shook her head.
I pointed at her. “Aha! I knew it. You want this, too. You don’t want me to find a connection with Alix or Kaisley. You want to explore this thing between us.” I realized how immature I sounded, so I put my hand down and casually sat on the couch as though this bombshell hadn’t just exploded in the space between us.
“I’m leaving.”
And just like that, I was up again and in front of her. “Don’t go. Nobody knows you’re here. Hell, everybody is probably asleep.” I put my hand on her arm. “I miss you. I hate that I’m in this beautiful place and can’t even share it with you.”
“You know this isn’t a good idea. I can’t be seen with you.”
“Would you quit fighting this? We have this beautiful private suite in Mexico, and nobody can get in.” For effect, I slid the locks in place. I knew she had bolted the patio door. “It’s just us. No cameras, no contestants, just us.” She stood in front of me with her arms crossed and that unbreakable, unemotional expression. “Just stay. Even if it’s just to keep one another company. I could turn on the television, and we could try to—”
She put her hand on the back of my neck and pressed her gorgeous, full lips against mine. I whimpered with delight. She tasted like mint and heat. I regretted the two shots of tequila, as my mouth felt dry and hot, but I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around her and walked her back to the bed, my mouth still eager against hers. I slid beside her onto the plush comforter with my hands on her, afraid that if I stopped touching her, she would vanish. It was the first time I’d seen her in jeans and a T-shirt. No wonder she wasn’t worried about being recognized out in public. She didn’t look like herself. She still was sexy and beautiful, but more relaxed and natural. Her makeup was minimal, her hair pulled back with a clip at the nape of her neck.
“I need to tell you something.” She broke our heated kiss and leaned up on her elbows. I’d never seen her look more serious, so instead of pushing her to relax and go with the moment, I rolled onto my side and waited for her to continue. “I need to tell you about why I quit reporting.”
“Okay.” I touched the soft skin that was exposed above her belt line where her T-shirt had risen when we fell on the bed. She stopped my hand from slipping underneath. I pulled back. “I’m sorry. Please go ahead.” Whatever she had to say was important to her, so I reined in my lust and waited for her to talk on her terms. She grabbed a pillow and tucked it under her head, then reached for my hand and linked our fingers.
“I was in Afghanistan on assignment, and a bomb went off when we were reporting on a school nearby. Somebody got mad that they were teaching English there and planted a bomb that detonated while we were filming the story.”
“Oh, my God. Are you okay? I mean, physically, yes, but are you okay?” I sat up and stared at her. I sounded ridiculous, but I couldn’t find my words. “That must’ve been horrible. No wonder you got out.”
“We lost one of our cameramen, Tommy Umbre. And Nathan Dover, our sound tech, had his leg blown off. I got hit in the chest and needed surgery. I’m fine now, but I have a pretty horrific scar on my sternum where they cracked my chest open.”
I looked at her. “Can you show me?”
Her fingers hesitated on the hem of her T-shirt. I gave her a soft smile and a nod of encouragement. She pulled the shirt over her head and laid her head back on the pillow. I noticed her pale-blue bra first because it was almost the color of her eyes. Running along the smooth valley between her breasts was a puckered scar that started about two inches below her collarbone and ended almost at her navel. I touched the scar where it had marred her smooth stomach and moved my fingertips up until I had touched every millimeter of it.
“Does it hurt?”
“Not really. It just feels weird, like it’s not supposed to be there,” she said.
“I can’t even imagine the pain you went through when this happened.” My voice was a whisper as I carefully placed my hand on her stomach.
“I thought I was dead. I don’t remember when it happened, but I remember waking up with everybody screaming. I was wearing Kevlar at the time, and it saved me.”
“This is why you always dress so conservatively when we swim.” I leaned forward and placed a small kiss on it.
“It’s ugly and crooked, and it embarrasses me.”
“Are you kidding me? There is nothing ugly about you. You’re beautiful. This scar is just a part of you now.” I leaned over her and slid a leg between hers. “I’m so thankful you survived that horrible ordeal and are here with me now.”
She touched my cheek and pulled me down for a kiss. The fast passion I felt when we had kissed earlier was replaced with a tenderness I didn’t know I had. The scar didn’t take away from her beauty. I deepened the kiss to let her know it didn’t scare me or make me think less of her.
“You’re lovely. Every part of you.” I wasn’t surprised when she flipped me and settled between my legs. Lauren was a take-charge kind of person, and I welcomed her control. I held her close and gasped when she rolled her hips against mine. I lifted my knees so she was in direct contact with every part of me that throbbed. My skirt was a twisted mess around my waist, and my shirt was bunched up right under my breasts. Feeling Lauren’s warm, bare stomach against mine made me want to rip everything off so that nothing prevented us from touching.
“Are you sure about this?”
I heard the words, but it took me a few seconds for the meaning to settle in. “Hell, yes.” I pushed her up so I could yank off my top. Sensing my frenzy to be naked, she tugged down my skirt and tossed it somewhere behind us. “Take off your jeans,” I said. She twisted on the bed and lifted her hips to slide her jeans off. She was wearing light blue silk panties that matched her bra. I paused to look at her and swallowed hard at her perfection. A lump settled in my throat as I thought about how long it had taken to get here and how my journey just took a turn. “Is this what you want? I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
“I’m done fighting my feelings. I want to be here. I know it’s only going to complicate things for the next few weeks, but I want tonight to be about us. No tomorrow, just right here and now.”
That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but it was close enough. I pushed the covers down and pulled her onto me. She pulled the clip out of her hair, and I smiled as her long tresses cascaded around my head. My heart thudded when she smiled at me. Her sexy, unguarded expression made me feel like we were meant to be. I kissed her because I was afraid of letting her see how this moment affected me. She knew I was into her. I had made that perfectly clear time and time again. But having Lauren Lucas in my bed, in my arms, was always a dream, never a reality.
I slipped my hand between our hips and massaged her over her panties. I wanted them off but was too impatient to wait the three seconds it would take to remove them. She moaned against my mouth and pushed herself up to her knees so I had access. A mixture of a growl and a whimper came out of my mouth when I pulled the soft, silky fabric to the side and slipped a finger inside her wet pussy. She was tighter and warmer than I expected. She scraped her teeth along my neck and down my shoulder. When I slipped a second finger inside, she threw her head back.
“That feels…” She stopped talking when I sped up. I slowed so she could finish what she was saying. “Incredible.”
Empowered, I flipped her and pulled her panties down. I needed to taste her. I kissed both thighs as I crawled up her body to the junction of her thighs. I smiled when she dropped her bra off the side of the bed. She wrapped her fingers in my hair as I licked up and down the soft, bare skin of her pussy. I was going to do everything in my power to show her how much she meant to me. I slid two fingers inside. She gasped in pleasure and groaned in disappointment when I immediately pulled them out. I did that several times in a row until she writhed and begged me to fuck her. Her request was honest and raw and empowering. I kept my fingers inside but moved them as fast as I could. Her fingers clenched in my hair, and I smiled, knowing I was giving her pleasure and she was allowing me control. I flicked her clit with my tongue, and she jerked in response. She was ready to climax just from my fingers, so I crawled up her until we were face to face and slipped my fingers back inside. “Do you like this, Lauren?” The guttural moan followed by a fast, hard kiss gave me my answer. “Do you want to come like this?”
“Yes,” she said against my mouth.
I sped up my motion and watched as she climbed. One of her hands was pressing the headboard behind us, and the other was wrapped around my neck. She quivered in anticipation. I’d never been with a woman so sure and confident before. My hand was drenched, but I didn’t stop until she exploded and collapsed. Every part of me soared. I kissed her neck and snuggled into her warmth and held her while she shook. I felt her smile against me. I didn’t have words for this moment, so I pulled the sheet over us and relaxed against her in silence.
“Why do you still have clothes on?”
“I was too excited to get to you,” I said. My voice was hoarse, and my throat was dry, but I was in heaven.
“It’s not fair,” she said. For a moment, I thought she was talking about the show, and panic squeezed my chest. “I’m almost completely naked, and you’re fully dressed.”
I smiled in relief and at her playfulness. “I mean, to be fair, you’ve seen me naked and what I look like when I come.”
She laughed and pulled me closer. “Trust me when I say I remember everything—how beautiful you are, how your cheeks turn bright red right before you orgasm. But I want to be the one to do that to you, not the Jacuzzi.” She paused as though in deep thought. “Although the idea has merit.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides, I was thinking of you,” I confessed.
She stared at me. “You’re lying.”
I tried to come up with a joke and a smile to laugh it off, but my smile disappeared, so I shrugged instead. “It’s true. I’ve been thinking about you this whole time.” She crawled on top of me and kissed me softly.
“I shouldn’t believe you, but I do.”
“I’ve wanted you here for so long,” I said. Why was I being so emotional? The impact of her here, in my bed, in my arms was hitting me hard. I kissed her because I was afraid of revealing too much. She ran her fingers over the swell of my breasts and smiled when chill bumps popped up under her touch.
“Are you cold?”
“No. It’s just been a long time since I’ve been touched, and it’s perfect that it’s you.” Fuck. I needed to quit being so open and honest.
She nodded as though she understood but didn’t say anything. Instead, she slid down me and slowly pulled off my horribly plain white panties while I unclasped my mismatched bra. Of all the fucking days to not look my best or wear a sexy matching set. She hooked my knees over her shoulders and pressed into me. We both moaned at the intimate contact. I was swollen and ready for release. She leaned forward to kiss me and slipped her hand between us. The pressure of her body against her hand gave me the friction I needed to move and find my orgasm. When she shifted her hips and slipped two fingers inside, I gritted my teeth and told myself to hold off. This felt a million times better, and I wanted it to last. With her fingers inside me, she thrust herself into me hard and fast. I didn’t have time to think or figure out why every part of me was on fire, why my heart and soul fluttered. I allowed the feeling to build until I couldn’t contain it. I exploded and didn’t drift away because Lauren was on top of me, kissing my face and whispering words I couldn’t comprehend. The only thing I could hear was the roaring beat of my heart. I thought we were done. When she pulled away, I closed my eyes and gave in to the shakes. I wasn’t expecting to feel her mouth and tongue on my slit.
“Oh, fuck,” I whispered and spread my legs apart. I wanted everything she would give me. She spread her tongue and licked me up and down until her tongue settled on my swollen clit. I was sensitive, but the spark turned into a flame the harder and faster her tongue moved against me. I grabbed a pillow and put it over my head to muffle my ecstatic cries. I didn’t want any staff member guarding the halls to hear me. I was throbbing and dripping with sweat.
“That was even better than I imagined,” Lauren said.
Her voice was gravelly and sexy, and I could barely move or breathe. “Yes.” It was the only word I could form between gasps. I was spent. I laughed only because I didn’t want to read too much into the moment and cry.
“What’s so funny?” She smiled, and I brushed my finger across the dimple high up on her check.
“Nothing. I just feel good. Thank you for staying.” When I leaned up and kissed her, she tasted like me. I wasn’t sure what this meant, but I knew that after tonight, we were back on the show. I was expected to find love, and she was expected to guide me. The thought made me sick.
“I have a few hours before I have to get back to my room. Any ideas on what we should do?” She looked at me innocently, as though the last hour and a half hadn’t just happened.
I kissed her hard. “I know exactly what we should do.”