SINCE GAINING MY CONFIDENCE BACK as a single woman and mother, I’ve felt inspired and motivated to explore the world well beyond my comfort zone. It started with The Bachelor and really took off from there. Once I had a taste of the travel bug, I was off and running. Sometimes I travel alone, but often I travel with Kinsley and Charlie. I understand this chapter isn’t for everyone, so if you don’t have kids and feel this doesn’t apply to you, it won’t hurt my feelings if you skip ahead. For the rest of you still here, I wanted to share some of what I’ve learned over the years about traveling with little ones.
When she was a baby, Kinsley had been on a couple of flights to St. Louis to visit my parents, so by the time Charlie came around, Kins was a somewhat seasoned flyer. When Charlie turned two, I decided to roll the dice and take them both to Missouri. This wasn’t my first rodeo, so I made sure to pack a carry-on full of goodies to entertain both of the kids. Coloring books, reading books, dolls, snacks, iPads . . . you name it, we had it. The afternoon flight there went shockingly well. I was super proud and happy with how smoothly things went. I spoke too soon.
The flight home was a completely different story. After a few days of traveling, sleeping in a hotel, and dealing with a slight time change, Charlie was exhausted. As soon as we boarded our flight back home, she fell asleep, and she stayed asleep a majority of the flight. And then she woke up. The last hour or so of the flight might as well have lasted five hours. Char was so restless and cranky. I was just desperately trying to get her to sit down and watch a movie, but she was not having it. After spilling an entire bag of Goldfish crackers on the floor of the plane and karate kicking the seat in front of her (sorry, guy in front of us), I knew this was going to be the longest hour of our lives. My anxiety was kicking in big time. I was so stressed. We were those people—the people everyone on the plane hates.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, I let her walk around the aisle of the plane. This seemed to be the only thing keeping her from screaming, spilling, or kicking the poor guy in front of us. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the lady in the row behind us watching Char and giving her a kind of mean smirk. After a few minutes of trotting up and down the aisle, Charlie started whining for her doll. The smirking lady behind us removed her headphones, looked little Charlie in the eye, and said to her, “I think it’s time for you to take a nap.”
Now, I know most of you have never seen this side of me and, given my typically sunny disposition, most probably don’t even know it exists. But in this moment, my inner mama bear came out. All my stress, tension, and anxiety let loose on this lady on an airplane. I don’t remember much of what I said because I was so flustered, but I do remember telling her, “If you have a problem with how my daughter is behaving, you can say something to me. She is two years old. Don’t talk to my daughter. Don’t even look at my daughter.” I remember I was shaking the rest of the plane ride home, feeling so upset over the way this lady had spoken to Charlie.
Look, I get it. When you’re on the other side of this equation, kids can be less than ideal to have on your flight. They cry, they scream, they kick your seat. To be honest, I am often less than enthused to be sitting next to or behind a toddler on a trip when I’m not with my own. But I can assure you their parents hate it even more than you! When your child starts misbehaving on a plane, it’s the most stressful thing in the world. It’s so embarrassing, and on top of that, you feel so helpless. You know everyone is wishing you’d take a dive out of the emergency exit. So, if you’re a non-parent reading this (if you’re still here), take it easy on the parents and don’t roll your eyes or make them feel worse about a bad situation. And most definitely don’t be rude to their children!
Since this flight from hell, Charlie and Kinsley have been on many flights, and I’m ecstatic to say it has gotten way better. I’ve definitely learned a lot about how to make traveling with kids much easier. I’m not going to lie, it is never totally easy—but easier.
First and foremost, nonstop flights are 100 percent necessary! If nonstop isn’t an option, try to go for the least amount of stops possible. Especially if you want them to sleep.
If you’re going somewhere that’s a three-hour flight or less, I recommend flying in the early afternoon. That way you’re not waking your kids up early to head to the airport, so they’ll be well rested and less cranky.
For flights over four hours, we love a red-eye! I know traveling way past bedtime (all our bedtimes) seems a little scary to think about, but it works out. I’ll talk to my kids beforehand to get them excited about wherever we are going. When we get on the plane, they know that it’s time to sleep because, as soon as they wake up, we’ll be at this exciting place! Obviously, if you’re traveling somewhere far enough for an overnight flight, there’s going to be a time difference, and when you land it’s already morning. I plan ahead for an early check-in and go straight to the hotel room, where the kids can take a nap for two hours or so. This way we are all rested and still have most of the day ahead of us. I try to never plan activities the day we arrive or even the day after. I like to make those the relaxing days to settle in, let the kids rest when they need to, and get them adjusted to the time change.
Entertaining kids on long flights can be tricky. They get bored so easily, so having a variety of options is key. If your plane has in-seat television screens, they can rent a movie, which, depending on their age, will help pass some of the time. I always download a ton of games onto their iPads and make sure they’re fully charged. Remember that sometimes there is no WiFi in flight (I learned this the hard way on our trip to Turks and Caicos recently) so make sure everything is accessible offline. Other must-haves are coloring books, crayons, and lots of snacks but not too many drinks, so you’re not getting up to use the restroom every thirty minutes.
I’ve heard so many people recommend giving kids cough medicine before a trip to knock ’em out. I’d never done it because it didn’t feel right, but, just in case of desperation, I did buy some as a backup for a long trip we took a few months ago. I saw another parent giving his daughter some cough medicine right before we were about to board and thought, This should be interesting. His daughter cried and threw tantrums the entire flight as mine colored peacefully in their seats (thank goodness). It made me so glad I didn’t go against my instincts to try this method. I strongly encourage parents not to go this route. Being extremely exhausted + overstimulated = a bad combination.
Finding the right hotel is another thing to consider when you travel with kids. You definitely want to make sure everything is kid friendly. Staying at a hotel or resort that’s not entirely kid friendly can cause a parent a lot of stress. If you’re on vacation, you want to be able to enjoy yourself and not be worried about your children misbehaving at a five-star restaurant. At the same time, you don’t want to be having all your dinners at a place like Chuck E. Cheese every night. A kid-friendly hotel will have an option that is perfectly in between. Rather than people growling at you as they try to enjoy a romantic anniversary dinner, you’ll be surrounded by other parents who give you the “much respect” nod when your kid eats spaghetti sans hands on the floor because she decided to be a puppy that night.
On that note, before booking a reservation at a hotel I always check the menus at the restaurants and room service to make sure there are options my picky kids will eat but also dishes that I can enjoy, too.
One tip for parents with babies and small children: Most travel destinations have companies that rent out gear such as car seats, strollers, cribs, swings, activity gyms, bouncy seats, humidifiers, and even things like beach umbrellas and toys. Why go through the drama of lugging that stuff across the country when you can have it delivered right to you upon arrival? Total life saver!
Try to look for a hotel with a kids’ club or program. A kids’ club is a designated area where you can drop your kids off for a few hours while you have dinner or go swimming on your own. They usually have great activities or programs for children to enjoy, so the kids are happy to be there. Even if you’re not planning to use it, it’s nice to have the option just in case you get overwhelmed and need some time to yourself. These clubs are usually a highlight of the trip for the kids.
Kid-friendly options aside, I also like to see what kinds of activities and amenities the hotel has for adults only. Some parents feel guilty thinking about this aspect on a family trip, but I feel it is very important that you all get to enjoy your vacation. That’s when the kids’ club comes into play. Get a massage, enjoy a grown-up meal, or even take a nap!
I always appreciate a designated kid pool or a park where they can play while I get a chance to lay back and relax, while keeping an eye on them, of course. If you decide to stay somewhere that has activities for kids that require you to be hands-on the whole time, you might feel like it’s less of a vacation for you because you’re constantly running around with your children. Because let’s be real, a vacation with kids should just be called a trip.
On our last trip to Hawaii, we stayed somewhere with a modest park and a kids’ pool. They had some low-key activities for kids (lei making, beach treasure hunts, etc.), but it was mainly a relaxing resort for adults. I bought us all day passes to another hotel meant more for families that featured a massive water park. We all had so much fun, but I couldn’t help but think I would have been exhausted if we had stayed there and the kids wanted to do that every day of our vacation. Of course, you want your kids to have the best time ever. But you’re on vacation too, and there’s nothing worse than leaving a trip even more tired and stressed than you were before you got there. You shouldn’t need a vacation after your vacation. It’s all about balance.
Speaking of our trip to Hawaii, that’s hands down our favorite place to travel! We really love anywhere tropical, though: the Bahamas, Turks and Caicos, you name it. It’s so relaxing, and the kids can be free and run around. Taking them somewhere that has more of a city vibe seems a little more restricted when it comes to kids. I like to go somewhere that doesn’t require a lot of driving, where the kids can feel free to run and play. Our first trip to Maui was our favorite, and we didn’t even do much in terms of parks or kiddie pools. We found turtles down at the beach, swam at the pool every day, and ate snow cone after snow cone. Sometimes it’s not necessary to go crazy jam-packing activities into every day. As it usually is, less is often more.
Traveling with two toddlers can be a nightmare, but it’s moments like these that are irreplaceable.
One question I get asked a lot is how I manage to take so many photos of my kids on vacation. I make taking photos of us a priority to look back on now but also so the kids can look back on them when they’re older. I usually travel with someone else, like my mom or my sister. Usually they’ll help out when it comes to taking photos of me with the girls, especially the candid ones, which are always my personal favorite. But more times than you’d think, I use a self-timer! You don’t need a photographer following you around on vacation to get great photos. A good old self-timer and a folio case are seriously a game changer. There’s an easy-to-use self-timer app on the iPhone. I’ll find and use anything to prop my phone up against to capture a shot. A table, car, or tree . . . you name it! Sometimes it takes a few trials and errors, but once you get the hang of it, it’s easy.
It’s amazing to be able to look back at these photos, and I can’t wait for the day I can share stories with Kins and Char.
Now, getting your kids to smile and pose for you is the hard part. That’s why candid photos have become my favorite. I never want to force my kids to take photos when they don’t want to (Charlie hates taking photos). Sometimes it helps to bribe them with a little candy or ice cream or some kind of treat. Come on, we all do it! Kinsley is at the age now of liking to take photos because she knows how much she loves looking back at them later. It’s so sweet and melts my heart. I hope Charlie gets there soon!
I don’t think anyone can ever master being on the move with little ones. There will be times when your kids cry on the plane no matter what you offer them. They’re likely to kick the seat in front of them or refuse to sleep. There are going to be nights when you have to cancel dinner reservations because it’s just impossible to pull everything and everyone together. And that’s okay. All of it. I’ve learned it’s best to try to embrace the chaos. Sometimes those moments somehow make for the best memories!