JULY
I mop the sweat off my brow as I finish my run around my neighborhood and walk back into my house.
I peel off my sweaty clothes, struggling to pull my sports bra over my head. Really, is there anything harder than getting a soaked sports bra off after working out? Gah!
I stand under the spray of the shower, letting it flow over me. My scalp gets some extra attention to make sure everything has been scrubbed away before I condition and wash the rest of myself. My big towel is waiting for me on the hook outside the shower as soon as I’m ready to step out. I wrap it around myself and get out of the shower.
A couple of days ago, Huxlee had me paint the front window for the Fourth of July and the firework scene across the front makes me smile as I walk past.
When the bell jingles above me as soon as I open the door, I hear Huxlee greet, “Welcome to—,” before cutting off and saying, “Hey, Callie!”
“Hey, is that my coffee?” I motion to the two cups that sit on the counter in front of her.
“Yeah, I picked them up on the way in this morning.”
My phone goes off as soon as I get to the back room. Pulling it out, I see a text from one of my brothers.
Andy
Me
Andy
Me
After sliding my phone into my pocket and setting my purse down, I make my way to the front. Grabbing my coffee from Huxlee, I hold the cup in my hand, thankful she got iced coffee this morning. I much prefer my coffee iced during the summer months.
“Are you coming out to see the fireworks and the carnival tonight?” she asks.
“I don’t know—”
“Come on, Callie! You’ll be with me the whole time. I’ll even let you drive yourself so you can leave when you want to.”
“Deal!”
While we go about our day, I think about what I could possibly wear to keep me from overheating too badly. When I get home, I quickly change into some jean shorts and a breezy red and white top. Fourth of July colors represent. I roll my eyes at my ridiculous inner monologue and stuff my credit card and my phone into a small purse, walking out the door and heading to where the town has set up for the carnival.
Until I got here, I didn’t even think about the fact that the last fireworks I saw were with the beast. When they start exploding over my head, the colors remind me of that night.
Huxlee wraps her arm around me at some point and I smile at her, thankful to have such a good friend.
When I’m finally home, I send a quick text to the Family Group chat. It’s way less active than the Besties chat but, occasionally Mom or Dad send some ridiculous comment to the rest of us.
Me
Andy
Me
Jake
Dad
Mom
Me
Jake
Andy
Jen
Stacy
Dad
Mom
I change into pajamas and settle into bed with the journal tucked close to my chest again. I breathe in the pages, imagining they smell like the beast as he wrote them, even though that was hundreds of years ago.
* * *
AUGUST
I drive to my parents’ house for a joint birthday party for my parents. My brothers are coming into town for the event. My parents’ birthdays are about a week apart, so we usually celebrate them at the same time.
Jen demanded Andy bring the older kids and leave her at home with the new baby. Something about him ruining her lady parts again and her not wanting to be stuck in an uncomfortable car for so long.
I can’t wait to hold the sweet new baby in my arms again, a few hour visit right after she came home from the hospital is not enough time with my new niece.
When I arrive, Tucker runs out to give me a hug. “Auntie Cals! I haven’t seen you in forever!”
“Hey, Tucker! Ready to go back to school?” He’s at that great age where he still likes school.
“We start next week, Auntie Cals, I can’t wait to be at the junior high.”
I fake a pain in my chest before responding, “Oh no, they must have gotten it wrong. There’s no way my little Tucker is old enough to be in junior high.”
“Believe me, I wish it weren’t so,” Stacy says from behind me. “I swear these kids are giving me a new gray hair every day.” She laughs before wrapping me in a hug. “How are you holding up?”
Tucker runs inside to play with the other kids before I answer, “I feel like I’ve lost a part of myself.”
When we sit around the table together, I glance around at my family and I think about how much I love and appreciate every one of them.
My phone chimes with a text.
Huxlee
Me
After dinner, we all sit around the living room playing some game, laughing and enjoying the time together before we all make our way to our rooms for some sleep.
Following my normal bedtime routine, I hug the journal to my chest, taking a big whiff of its pages.
The next morning, someone picked up donuts before the rest of us woke up, and Mom was kind enough to get up early to make the coffee. We all sit on the back porch, watching the kids run back and forth in the backyard.
When I’m driving home later that day, I can’t help but feel a small weight has been lifted off of me spending time with the family.
* * *
SEPTEMBER
While I love running outside, I end up joining a gym to help burn some of the energy brewing inside me. I also make many trips to the archery range, making sure that no matter what is to come, I’m ready for it.
In all the relationships that have ever ended for me, however willingly or not, I’ve never had a single one of them stick in my mind like the beast. It’s unbearable how much I miss him.
I’m grateful the bruises are now gone from being kidnapped, but I’m one of the lucky ones to have survived the battle.
I close my eyes and envision I’m with the beast again. Wrapping my arms around myself, I imagine it’s him with his arms wrapped around me. His smell and voice have begun to fade away, and that feels like a stab in the heart all over again.
I’d endure being captured and the beating all over again just to actually have him here with me.
Never have I dated anyone who made me feel so much an equal as he did… does, as he does. A tear slips down my cheek when I consider the possibility that I have served my purpose there for the thousandth time in the last nine months.
* * *
OCTOBER
When the temperatures start to drop, I start running outside again. Huxlee has set me up on a blind date for tonight. She cornered me and basically forced me to agree.
I have thought back on that moment many times in the last week. “Callie, I’ve got a hot date this weekend, but he won’t go unless his friend has someone to take out too. Apparently, his friend is only in town for a couple of days, so no commitment is necessary. Please, please, please,” Huxlee begged. I rolled my eyes before agreeing.
Now, as I stare at my reflection in the mirror, I can’t believe the woman staring back at me. The purple circles under my eyes have grown more prominent in the last ten months.
I add extra concealer to hide them before applying the rest of my makeup. Since this is a one-off blind date, I don’t worry too much about whether or not I’ve done everything too simple or over-the-top tonight.
My makeup is basic at best when I’m finished doing it, and I pick out the first thing I can find on the dressy side of my closet, a flirty red dress. Out of the corner of my eye I catch sight of the ballgown and I unconsciously move toward it, running my hands over the fabric.
Closing my eyes, I imagine I’m back there at the ball, dancing with the beast, our friends all around us. Letting go of the dress, I walk back out of the closet and get dressed for my night.
At the last minute, I decide to just put on some dressy flats. There’s no way I can be trusted not to hurt myself in heels tonight.
My phone dings as I wait for Huxlee to get here.
Dad
Me
I back out of our text chain and am scrolling through my other texts when I realize I never heard from Mason all those months ago. I decide to text him again just to make sure he’s okay.
Me
When I hit send, I hear Huxlee honk her horn outside. I grab my purse and lock my door behind me.
Why the hell did I let her talk me into her being the one to drive? I’ll never know. It will probably end in me frustrated and wanting to leave but being stuck there instead.
But when I get to the car, it’s just her. Which means we must be meeting the guys at the place we’re going for dinner.
“Hey, girl! You look good!” she greets as soon as I duck into the car.
“Thanks,” I reply. Her makeup is definitely more dramatic than mine. She’s spent time making sure everything looks perfect. And she’s definitely got a pushup bra on to make her already ample cleavage look even better. I remember how my boobs looked in the corsets from the prison world and I quickly shove down the wave of sadness that threatens to overwhelm me.
As soon as we get to the restaurant Huxlee runs to one of two guys standing outside. “Callie, this is Jason, my date, and this is…” she trails off, probably because she never thought to ask the friend’s name.
“Michael, my name is Michael.” He extends a hand to me. I place mine in his and he kisses my knuckles. Carefully, I take my hand back and give him a small smile.
We spend the rest of the night making small talk, and at some point, Huxlee and Jason disappear and Michael and I awkwardly chat until my phone goes off. I pull it out and bite my lip when I see the text.
Huxlee
Me
Huxlee’s hair is disheveled when she returns. I have no doubt she and Jason were just off making out, at the very least. A pang of jealousy shoots through me and I’m thankful that she’s ready to leave quickly after.
In the car, she chatters on about what a good time she had with Jason. I let her talk, not sure what I could say to her.
When I close the door at my house, I slide down it and my hands cover my face as I start to sob.
* * *
NOVEMBER
Several. She’s now forced me to go on several dates and not a one of them holds a candle to the beast. Today we’re preparing the store for the Christmas season again, and I can’t help but hope that maybe since I started traveling to the prison world during this time of the year that maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to go back there soon.
“Hey, Callie, what ever happened to Mason?” Huxlee asks as we pull everything out of boxes to decorate the store.
“I have no idea. I haven’t heard from him since before my last trip to the prison world,” I say, keeping my head down. I don’t know that I would respond to me either after essentially a break-up text.
“Huh, you guys seemed so close.”
“I mean, I texted him months ago, letting him know I just wasn’t ready but, it is weird that he never texted me back.”
“Who needs men? You can just come stay with me. We can be the cool aunts to all our nieces and nephews forever.”
“What, and deny you the pleasure of all those dates you go on? Never!”
We laugh and get back to work.
* * *
I said goodbye to her at the store today. Now, as I stand packing my bags to head back to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving, I glance around for the tenth time to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. It takes sitting on my suitcase for me to be able to get the damn thing closed and I struggle to load it into my car.
Thankfully, the weather hasn’t gotten too bad yet this year and I’m able to make it to their house in just a couple of hours. Before I get out of my car, I send a text to Huxlee.
Me
Huxlee
Thanksgiving morning, the insanity begins as Mom and I begin cooking everything for the family. Dad and my brothers are in charge of frying the turkey this year, and they were smart enough to tape off an area where the kids are not allowed to run.
We all sit around the table and follow the classic tradition of going around the table saying what we’re thankful for. Several of us say family, but Tucker surprises us all when he tells the family he’s thankful for his girlfriend. Stacy and Jake give him shocked glances and he hangs his head, knowing that they’re going to have a conversation about this later.
I hide my smile behind my napkin, remembering my brothers getting the same talking-to when they first started to get interested in girls.
The men are kind enough to do the dishes while those of us who cooked head out to the back porch with wine.
Overall, I have a good time. And the next day when it’s just Mom and me in the house getting everything ready for Christmas again, I enjoy the time with her. My phones chimes interrupting my thoughts.
Huxlee
Me
Huxlee
Me
Huxlee
Me
Huxlee
Laughing, I tuck my phone back into my pocket, wondering if there will ever be a time when I’m trapped in the prison world as long as I have been trapped here.
The chest still sits in their attic since I realized I wouldn’t be able to unload it at my place by myself. Before we finish up the decorating for the year, I run my hand over the words on the top of the chest, tracing each letter of The Forgotten Ones before making my way down the ladder.
For the first time in a long time, I’m able to take deep breaths. I can forget about the beast, if only for a short time.
* * *
DECEMBER
A year. It’s been more than a year since I first met the beast. And all I can think about is the fact that I can’t get back to him.
Why would this cruel world let me meet such a wonderful man, just to tear us apart from each other?
Why would he have been sent to the prison world in the first place?
Are we destined to forever be apart?
I broke the rules of the curse when I opened the chest and read the journals before I was of age. But does that really mean that I have to spend the rest of my life yearning for the one left behind, stuck there?
Sometimes, I find my thoughts wandering to Mason and I wonder whatever became of him. It’s like he just up and disappeared, too.
“Good morning, Huxlee, here’s your peppermint mocha.” I hand her one of the cups. “And your pumpkin bread.”
She takes the package with the bread and she squeals in excitement.
“Thank you so much!” She takes a big bite before moaning when she takes a sip of the coffee. “If you could work on the window this morning, I would be forever grateful.” She bats her long eyelashes at me and I chuckle as I make my way to the back to get the window paints.
A few hours later, I stand back and admire the painting. This year I’ve painted a scene with Santa on his sleigh, all the reindeer, in order, and on the other window I’ve painted a bunch of houses with chimneys ready for him.
Inside the store, I see Huxlee giving me a thumbs-up of approval before she goes back to the shelf she was cleaning and decorating.
We spend the rest of the day joking around with each other before calling it a day and heading home.
This time, I pick up tacos on the way and turn on The Holiday.