THE BEAST
My arms close around myself, and I open my eyes to see Callie has disappeared. I clutch my head as memories start rushing into my brain. Almost three hundred years of being born, living, and dying suddenly flooded my mind at that moment.
I see the world through my eyes over and over again through the same stages of life. Visions of a changing world, over three hundred years of advancements, societal changes, and memories of some kind of magical flying machine overwhelm me.
I make my way to a nearby chair and collapse into it, still clutching my pounding head.
Kenna approaches me, “Sire, are you okay? Where’s Callie?”
“I… need… you… to get… Zev.” I grind out through more flashes of lives gone by.
Zev comes in and helps me to stand, supporting me with his weight while he leads me back down the staircase. “Ken… na…” I pant, using my other hand to press against where my temple throbs.
“Kenna, come,” Zev says over his shoulder, and I assume she follows behind us.
“Study,” I say and he leads all of us there, helping me to sit on the couch before dragging another chair to sit across from me. Kenna sits beside me quietly.
Finally, the onslaught of memories slows and I am able to breathe easier again.
“Are you okay, sire?” Kenna moves to sit as far away from me as she can while I slowly lower my hands into my lap.
“No, I really don’t think I am.”
“What happened?” Zev asks. “Where’s Callie?”
“Gone.”
I do my best to explain to them what just happened. The flood of memories that came back to me, the feeling of somehow merging with a missing piece of myself. But none of us have ever experienced anything like this before. The only memories we’ve ever had here have been the ones from the lives we were living when we were banished. But now, I feel like there are more questions than answers as to why we’ve been sent here.
* * *
Callie has been gone for too damn long. My staff avoids me at all costs. My attitude has left little to be desired over the almost year since she was taken from me.
I know I could have convinced her to marry me, but when she was ripped from my arms with our first kiss, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and no one here is able to put it back together. Deep down, I know that only she is capable of doing that. And now that I have memories of her time with me in another form, as Mason, I’m somehow jealous of my own self.
Every night I wish I could hold her in my arms again, her body soft and pliant next to me. She fits against me perfectly, our bodies molding together even in sleep. Just her damn presence pulled me from the brink of death.
I drink more than I ever have, trying to drown the pain that resides in my chest. No matter how much I drink, the pain only seems to come back stronger than ever once I’ve sobered up. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve drunk myself into a stupor and woken up back in my room.
Minutes ago, I was by myself, drowning my sorrows again in the library before Kenna came in to give me a report on the war. Why she still puts up with my behavior, I’ll never know. But she’s the closest thing to Callie I have anymore. How fucking pathetic is that? My one spot of light is the woman who was kind to Callie.
I throw my empty glass against the wall in my library. Kenna flinches at my outburst. There have been no sightings of any of the occupants of the abandoned castle. Every day that goes by and we don’t find them, I fear for the safety of my people. For all I know, they’re burrowing beneath my damn mountains.
“Anything else I can help you with, Your Majesty?” Her voice sounds like she looks, small and like she’s trying to hide within herself.
“That will be all,” I growl out, turning back to my desk and slamming my hand down on its surface. A book falls off the edge and I reach over to pick it up. It’s then I realize what book I’m holding. It’s that damn book she never finished. The one she would sit on the couch for hours, reading. It’s one of the longest books I own. We just didn’t have the time. I would have preferred for me to show her the simple life she could have in the castle with me.
I never got the chance to show her what life could truly be like as my wife, my queen, my equal. My father was a tyrant, my mother a mouse to his lion. Callie, on the other hand, made me so damn proud, taking up the reins for the battle preparations. She would be the lioness to my lion. Queen of the domain, ruler of the pride. I would bow at her feet and beg her to never leave me again, if only I could be with her again.
And watching her take out the enemy with those arrows made me want to do just that. I would kiss her feet, if only she would let me.
The way she continued to fight and stay with our men, even after she had been tortured for far too long. How could I have let her be captured like that? I will regret those moments every day of my life.
If only this damn prison world wasn’t so fucked up. If only I knew who was sending us here. If only I could get back to her. I grab another glass and fill it halfway with whiskey. Not that I need more to drink, but maybe this time it will help. If only I was so lucky.
I take the book to the couch and sit, opening to the spot where she last was, a now pressed rose acting as a bookmark. She smiled when I brought it in for her one day while she was here. Rather than start from the beginning, I pick up from where she left off, keeping the rose in her spot for when she returns. Because she will return to me, even if I have to burn down the whole damn world to get to her.
Images flash through my mind of me holding some faceless being against a wall, choking the life out of them for what they’ve done to my people. Their gasps are music to my metaphorical ears as the life slowly suffocates out of them.
I set the book on the side table when my mind won’t stop running back to Callie. A sharp stab of pain hits my chest as I picture her with another man back home. I never thought to ask if she had someone already. But somehow, I know she wouldn’t have spent all the time with me if she did. She doesn’t strike me as someone to break her marriage vows.
One day, it will be me she vows to spend forever with, to have and to hold. I just hope it happens before it’s too late.
* * *
My neck hurts like a bitch when I wake up hunched over on the couch in the library. I remember what I was doing here last night. I was imagining the demise of the prison world’s creator, while hoping to have Callie back with me.
Every day I feel weaker and weaker, and I know it’s because I haven’t eaten, not truly since she left. I’ve been told I smell of booze by anyone who dares enter the room I’m in.
I’m sitting on the couch in the study with my head in my hands, drunk from the previous night's alcohol, when the door opens, and Kenna enters with Zev. If he’s walking on two feet, it must be something serious. I have not seen him on two feet except for special occasions and holidays for years. “Yes?” I ask.
“Sir, I brought you something to eat,” Kenna answers. It’s now I notice she has a tray piled high with food. Zev carries a tray with a tea service.
“I’m not hungry,” I growl.
“You’re a damn stubborn fool is what you are,” Zev says. It’s the most I’ve heard him speak since I first met him. They set their trays down on the small table in front of me.
“Excuse me?” I balk at his words.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Does the poor widdle king need his nappy changed?” Zev talks like I’m a damn baby.
I stand up, stumbling drunkenly over my feet. Getting up into his face, I stupidly reply, “What the fuck are you talking about, Zev?” My finger jabs into his chest.
“You’re acting like a spoiled baby. Figured maybe I should talk to you that way. How do you think she would feel if she knew you’re here starving yourself because you’re such a damn stubborn bastard?”
“Yeah, and who gave you permission to talk to your king like such an ungrateful prick?” My hands shake as we stare each other down.
“Fine, don’t eat then. Maybe the child and the pirate are through with her. Maybe we were mistaken about the missing weapons. Do whatever you want.” He shrugs and leads Kenna with his hand on the small of her back out the door.
He’s a fucking asshole, but his words have their desired effect. I finish every bite on the tray and wash it down with the tea.
* * *
The garden is where I feel the closest to her. I walk among the flowers, bringing each one to my face. But I can’t seem to find one that smells just like her.
I dismiss the usual staff who takes care of the replanting out here and sit down in the dirt myself. Though I rarely saw my benefactress in the garden, she did teach me how to care for the flowers. How to properly plant the new plants. How to organize the different ones for best pest control.
My favorite was growing the food. Having something to eat at the end of the season always excited me. And there is nothing better than plucking produce straight off the plant to eat that day.
The garden right off the castle is strictly for flowers, and I dig my hands in the dirt, taking a fistful and watching it flow through my fingers. Our food is grown in the village. Several of the people who have been banished here were put in charge of making sure we are all fed.
We tried to make sure each person handled something they were skilled at in our world. Our kingdom may be small, but we have thrived in the time we’ve been here.
Until the battle, there had been no deaths here that I’m aware of. Even Zev has learned to control himself when in his wolf form, feeding only on creatures that have become overpopulated in this world.
I think back on my early days, when Zev would bring me rabbits, fish, squirrels, or whatever he could get ahold of. He would usually try to catch something extra to bring me to eat. That is, until he brought me the first human. Kenna was my first guest in the castle. Zev found her wandering among the trees one day. He shifted to his human form and learned she had been here for many, many years, arriving here about one hundred years before me.
I put up all the tools and go back into the mountain, my legs feeling noticeably steadier under me since I finally ate something. My head has started to clear from the alcohol-induced haze and I’m able to walk among the halls without stumbling into a wall.
Walking past the kitchen, I invite everyone to join me for dinner in the dining room and we spend the rest of the night enjoying each other’s company; me doing my best to pretend everything is normal before finally making my way to bed.