A BEARD, A BOYFRIEND, & THE JOY OF GAY SEX
THE doorbell rang, and Hugo eagerly walked toward it, knowing Kevin would be on the other side. “Hey,” they both greeted, and then Hugo was thumbing over his shoulder to get Kevin moving past Charisse, who was camped out in the living room pouring over a textbook.
The moment Hugo’s bedroom door was shut, he had Kevin shoved against it and was kissing him. It had been months, but both knew immediately how to fit their mouths together again, tongues slipping between parted lips and hands sliding into hair and gripping clothes to bring them closer.
Hugo stepped away from a breathless Kevin and gestured for them to sit on the bed together.
“What was that for?” Kevin asked with a smirk.
“Your note. Thank you.”
Kevin shyly looked down at the worn knee of his jeans and reached out tentative fingers toward Hugo’s. “I’m glad you liked it. I haven’t really known how to tell you all of that, but I’ve been feeling it since this summer. And I’m sorry about Tricia. I really am. I’ve tried to put the brakes on that as much as I can and still keep her around because my dad is a perpetual ass.”
“I’ve heard some rumors.” Hugo could feel his own face souring.
“Well, they’re probably not true, considering the ones I’ve heard.” Kevin sounded pissed.
“So you aren’t having sex?”
Kevin shook his head and boosted his answer with, “No. She wants to and won’t take no for an answer, but I keep playing the innocent boy who wants to wait. I might have to start talking about God’s plan for me or something like that so she stops. But she’s agreed to help me with my dad. She’s even willing to say I’m over at her house if I’m over here.”
“Kevin. What does she know?” Hugo was freaked. “I mean. Does she know we’ve… you know…?”
“No, no, no. Nothing like that. Homework. That’s it. I never told you this because I thought it was insulting, but my dad wouldn’t let me come over here to help you with homework unless I charged you for tutoring. It was stupid, but after your dad died, I just started lying to him, saying I was with Tricia so he’d think I was with her instead of you.”
“You lied to your father?” Hugo asked, not quite believing it.
“Yeah. Demand stupid things for long enough, and I’m eventually gonna lie. Not that I hope he finds out. I hope he won’t ever, because who knows what he’d do then. I’m not willing to see, but my mom will stand up for me if he does. I’m doing photography for the yearbook now, so I have another excuse to get out of the house without Tricia on my arm. Anyway….”
“Don’t let him change you, Kevin. Don’t let his bullshit change who you are.”
Hugo took a good, long look at Kevin, studying his full lips, which were flushed from their kiss. His eyes were still the smoldering gray Hugo loved so much, and they were smiling at him as he gave Hugo a little nod.
“So is Tricia your girlfriend girlfriend, or does she just play one on TV?” he finally asked, needing to know what was really going on inside Kevin’s head.
The smile fell from Kevin’s face entirely and was quickly replaced by a look of shame or guilt. He picked at a few loose threads on Hugo’s comforter before he wiped his palms across his knees.
“She’s my girlfriend according to the rest of the world, but to be honest, I don’t want her to be. I don’t want a girlfriend. I want a boyfriend right now, but I can’t. I want you, Hugo. Just you.”
“I see,” Hugo said, unable to make eye contact because he felt like he had a hole beneath his sternum. It was the best and the worst of both worlds.
“I know it’s a shitty thing to tell you,” Kevin said. “I’ve tried to keep it inside and just… I don’t know what I’ve been trying to do. Survive, I guess. But I’m not happy unless I’m with you, even if all we’re doing is ridiculous amounts of homework and nothing else. I wasn’t lying when I told you I feel serenity with you.”
“And what do you feel with Tricia?” Hugo wondered.
Kevin flopped down on Hugo’s bed and stared at the ceiling. “I suppose in a way I feel safe or protected because she gets my dad off my case. He’s eased up a lot since she started coming around. She’s nice. She easily gets me when I’m pissed at my dad because she has a controlling, overprotective dad too. You know the saying, ‘misery loves company’? But she makes me nervous and defensive too, like I always have to be on guard, afraid of her trying something I don’t want.”
Hugo lay beside Kevin and mirrored his position but with his feet near Kevin’s head. He reached for Kevin’s fingers and allowed them to slot together. “If you could have anything in the entire world, and your dad wouldn’t find out, what would it be?” he asked and then closed his eyes, afraid of how Kevin would answer.
Kevin’s fingers tightened around Hugo’s as he thought. Time seeming to move at a glacial pace. He turned onto his side, pressing his cheek to Hugo’s shin.
“I’d have things go back to how they were last summer. I’d still work with you, but school would have to happen too. I’d get done with the yearbook and eat supper and come over here and spend the first hour doing homework and then spend the next one just kissing your mouth until my lips hurt. And I’d touch you again.” Kevin’s free hand skimmed up the side of Hugo’s thigh, fingers curling around his waistband when his hand made it that far up. “I’d explore your skin with my mouth and my tongue and my teeth.” His voice was getting breathy, and Hugo could feel Kevin’s erection pressing against his arm. “And I’d ask to sleep over, telling you I was too tired to drive home, but really, I’d just be lying. I’d lie so I could sleep next to you in this tiny bed so I could press up tight against you.”
Kevin’s hips tilted forward as he grazed his cock against Hugo’s arm. Hugo was speechless, squeezing his eyelids even tighter so he could picture everything Kevin talked about. He wanted that too. All of it.
“And I’d pretend to be too hot so I could take off all my clothes and just lie there next to you all bare and naked, feeling your warm skin on mine.”
“Don’t,” Hugo begged. His cock was pressing painfully against the zipper in his tight pants.
“Why?”
“Because you can’t. You have a girlfriend.”
“You asked me what I wanted. You asked me to dream, and I did. I do.”
“Is there a way you can have all that and a girlfriend?” Hugo asked, allowing his longing to linger around the question.
Kevin was silent, pulling his hips back from Hugo’s arm, probably so he wouldn’t be tempted to thrust again.
“Maybe. I mean, she did talk about not being steady one time. It was because she was frustrated I wouldn’t fuck her. I think she was suggesting it to try to manipulate me into having sex, but maybe she’s serious.” Kevin sat up on a bent elbow and looked down at Hugo with curious hope. “Would you?”
“Would I what?” Hugo asked cautiously as he sat up.
“If she was willing to do that, be open to dating other people, would you want to… to be with me again?” Kevin was so serious, the look on his face so determined.
Hugo didn’t know exactly how he felt about the proposition, but he wanted this to be more than just the two of them fucking around. It would mean he and Kevin could be together, and that would be amazing, but….
“Would it be a secret? Because I’m not willing to come out in Austin. At least not now,” Hugo stated. “I mean, it’s not that I’m embarrassed about being gay or of being with you. I just don’t trust people in this town.”
“Oh, I’m not ready to tell people about this.”
“Not even Tricia? I mean, wouldn’t you have to tell her? Or maybe she’d suspect something if you were suddenly open to this and then started spending more and more time with me. What if she figured it out?” It worried Hugo. He wanted this, even if it did mean he had to share Kevin, but not at the risk of getting beaten up or bullied at school.
He’d had long talks with his sister about this exact thing since he came out to her, and she agreed being discreet until he was at college was probably the smartest thing, even if it meant he had to lie and not be entirely himself at school.
What a sad thing to learn how to do as a kid just to survive, but at least he could be himself at home, unlike Kevin.
“She knows you’re my best friend. Well, at least she does now. She was surprised at first because we didn’t talk for a while there. She’s seen it since, though. And she knows I’ve been coming over in the evenings to help you. I don’t think she’d suspect we were more than friends. Why would she?”
“Well, if you go to her and say you want to go out with other people, won’t she expect you to date other people?”
“I was going to tell her she could. Maybe I could fake date someone from Albert Lea or Rochester or Owatonna. Mankato, even. Somewhere close enough to drive but not so close she could easily check up on me. You know what I mean?”
Hugo nodded but then looked worried.
“I feel like I need more rules or something. Like, can I see other people if I meet someone?” Hugo asked with a shrug. He didn’t want to date anyone else, but he was afraid to ask Kevin if they could simply be boyfriends to each other and no one else.
Kevin’s eyes grew wide, but he bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah. It’s only fair, right?”
“Yes. Especially if she still wants to fool around with you. And if anyone has sex, you have to use a condom no matter what.”
“That’s just smart.”
“Well, I suppose you should talk to Tricia if you’re really serious about this.”
“What about you? Is this something you’d be willing to do? Seriously?” Kevin asked, easily giving Hugo a way out, he realized.
Hugo considered it for long minutes, trying to feel out how this would affect his heart, most of all. He knew his body was up for it because he was still hard. His cock would be just fine in this arrangement.
“I think I can do this,” he shared. “You might just break my heart, but it’s not like I’ve been living the life of happiness this school year. I may as well get some pleasure out of something, even if I can’t have one hundred percent of Kevin Magnus.”
“You look so sad when you say that. Maybe this isn’t a good idea. I’m being really selfish.”
“No. It’s just hard to watch you kiss her at school, but I haven’t seen you do that in a long time.”
“So what you don’t know won’t bother you? Is that what you’re saying?”
Hugo smiled and chuckled softly. “Maybe.”
THE next evening Kevin walked into Hugo’s house and smiled as he kicked off his shoes. Hugo grabbed them each a pop from the fridge before they headed to his bedroom and got comfortable on the bed, like usual, to do their homework. Hugo pulled out his Advanced Algebra to study for their test the following day and was just about to ask a question about their exam when Kevin cleared his throat.
“She said yes.”
“Oh? What happened?”
“There’s this college guy she’s been curious about. I guess she met him at some party, and they’ve been talking on the phone every night. She asked if I had someone in mind, but I told her I just wanted to give her the option to see other guys since I wasn’t willing to give her everything she wanted right now. I thought she was going to break up with me, not that that would’ve been the worst thing in the world, but she thought this would be better. Her dad thinks I’m fairly safe, and he won’t let her date college guys, so we’ll still date,” he said, using finger quotes. “PDAs for show might still happen at school, and I’m sorry about that. But she really wants to give it a go with this guy, and she agreed to put us on ice otherwise. So I guess it’s a mutually beneficial fake relationship.” Kevin shook his head as if disgusted.
“What’s wrong?”
“I feel like my dad, using people to make some sort of deal.”
“It’s not like we don’t all know what’s going on. You aren’t keeping secrets or lying anymore. Well, for the most part.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” Kevin abruptly shifted gears, obviously ready to think of something else. “So during the review today, remember we talked about….”
WINTER break was amazing. Not only was Tricia gone for the entire thing, but so was Kevin’s father. When Hugo wasn’t obligated with family get-togethers, Kevin and he could spend time together.
And spend time together they did. Even though Hugo had to work, the boys saw each other nearly every remaining hour in the day. It was a lot like old times where they’d watch movies, head to the arcade, or go fishing, though now it was ice fishing and not fly-fishing. They’d talk about any and all things that came to mind. It was like they never ran out of things to do or say. They never seemed to get bored or get sick of each other either.
A few days after Christmas, Kevin talked Hugo into spending the night rather than heading home. Hugo was a bit nervous as they both stripped down to their underwear and crawled into bed. But as soon as Kevin started kissing Hugo, his nervousness dropped away and was replaced by a warm, contented feeling.
They’d been kissing for well over thirty minutes on Kevin’s large bed, underwear long buried somewhere deep between the sheets, when Kevin’s mom knocked at the door.
“Boys,” she said in a gentle tone before the sound of the doorknob turning was heard. Hugo quickly shifted off Kevin, landing on the cool part of the mattress between Kevin and the opening door, and buried his face in the pillow, feigning sleep but watching Kevin through his eyelashes. The room was lit only by the soft light of a few guttering candles burning on Kevin’s dresser, which were being reflected back into the room so there appeared to be twice as many. As Hugo waited for Kevin to answer, he saw Kevin pressing his obvious erection down with both hands.
“Yeah,” Kevin answered with a husky voice that dripped with sex. Hugo hoped Kevin’s mom heard it as exhaustion.
“I’m sorry to disturb you. I came to see if you wanted anything to eat before bed, but I guess you’ve already been sleeping.” Hugo lifted his head and glanced behind him, giving Mrs. Magnus what he hoped was a sleepy smile.
“No thanks, Mrs. Magnus. I’m fine.”
“Me too. Just tired. Night.”
“Night, boys. Don’t forget to blow out the candles.”
“Okay. See you in the morning.”
They were deathly silent as she closed the door, listening to each of her retreating footsteps until there was nothing.
“Lock,” Kevin said, standing to secure his door.
As he walked, Hugo sat up and just stared. It seemed like forever since he’d seen Kevin’s body. He could look and kiss him all day long for the rest of his life, and he’d never tire of it.
Kevin caught Hugo’s leering gaze and shifted, reaching down to grab his jutting cock and stroked it a few times. The pink head peeked out and was hidden again by Kevin’s foreskin. “Like what you see?”
“Very much. Turn around,” Hugo directed and watched how the muted light made Kevin’s skin seem golden-warm. His ass was amazing, a perfect bubble butt that just begged to be held and more. “Bend over?”
“What?”
“Bend over and let me see your asshole.”
Kevin laughed and shook his head. “Why? Why do you want to see my asshole?”
Hugo lifted a brow and pursed his lips, giving Kevin a few seconds to figure it out, but he just looked back at Hugo like he was crazy.
“Uh, hello. Gay boy here in your bed who you were just kissing for the last half hour. Remember me?” he teased.
Kevin walked toward the bed and climbed over Hugo in straddling movements, kicking the covers away so he could get back under. He sucked a kiss on Hugo’s jutting hipbone, a nipple, a shoulder, and finally back on his mouth. “I remember. I remember very well,” he growled as he took up kissing Hugo again.
They started rocking against each other, allowing pressure to build, finally giving in to the desire they both had been holding back in favor of remaining nearly silent. Hugo gripped warm skin, cupping Kevin’s perfect ass in his hands. It was then Kevin arched his back, opening his ass cheeks up, silently asking for Hugo to touch him right there.
Hugo shoved against a hip, urging Kevin to roll onto his back. He covered Kevin’s chest with kisses, spending extra time licking and biting his nipples when Kevin held Hugo’s head steady. He nipped, pulling at the taut flesh, and Kevin’s hips jerked. He liked a little bit of pain, Hugo realized. He pulled and nipped a few minutes longer before moving farther down, pulling Kevin’s foreskin back to reveal the pink head of his cock before slipping it past his lips.
It had been months since he’d tasted Kevin, since he’d had a cock in his mouth, but he easily found his technique, licking and sliding Kevin’s familiar thickness past his lips. He took time to lick Kevin’s balls, drawing one at a time gently into his mouth, tonguing against them until Kevin forcefully pulled him away by his dark hair.
Hugo panted against Kevin’s hard stomach muscles, trying to catch his breath but not wanting to stop kissing the skin under his lips. When he started to kiss Kevin’s hipbones, following the beautiful cut running from his groin to his side, Kevin pulled away, ticklish.
“Sorry,” Hugo said, but was quickly distracted by the full curve of Kevin’s ass, now that he was on his side. He shoved, more forcefully than he expected, but Kevin easily rolled to his stomach, even if it took him a few seconds to find how to situate his hard cock.
Hugo sat back, simply nestled between Kevin’s lean thighs and looked. He reached out two fingers and traced the concave shape on the side of each cheek, stroked the crease where thigh met ass, and then palmed the firm muscles.
“Are you… are you gonna touch me there again?” Kevin asked with something like nervousness in his voice.
“Can I?” Hugo asked.
“Yeah.” Kevin turned his head and looked at Hugo, his pupils dark with desire. “Yeah, please?”
Hugo leaned forward, supporting his weight on his palms, and awkwardly kissed Kevin before moving to place his lips on Kevin’s neck, even though he had to kiss through long blond hair. He kissed down his back on each and every bump of Kevin’s spine, pausing to just breathe in the scent of his skin at the small of his back. Hugo stayed there, lips pressed to the little dip on Kevin’s back, and closed his eyes, giving himself a few moments to center himself, to calm his body, and ask himself if he was really ready to do this.
Pressing Kevin’s thighs farther away from each other, Hugo’s forearms continued to spread Kevin, open him up so he had to bear some weight on his knees. Only then did Hugo sit back and look at the tightly drawn circle of muscle hidden in Kevin’s shadowed cleft. The candlelight made it hard to see, so Hugo shoved his hands under Kevin’s thighs and grabbed him around the hips, lifting his ass into the air.
Hugo blew against him, watching Kevin’s hole contract even tighter.
“Jesus. What are you doing?” Kevin asked, his voice wavering.
“Hugo. My name is Hugo,” he whispered, fully engrossed in watching how Kevin’s body responded to the breath. He took deep breaths and slowly let them out, leaning closer each time, smelling Kevin. Smelling clean skin and a musky, earthy scent which was new, but not scary. It surprised him how much he wanted to do this. Hugo swallowed noisily and took a second to look up to meet Kevin’s gaze. He was twisted around slightly, trying to see what was going to happen. Hugo didn’t look away as he spread Kevin’s ass farther and moved closer.
He licked the swollen taint near Kevin’s balls. They were both familiar with that, just not in this position. When he started moving farther up, Kevin’s breaths came out in noisy gasps, as if he were trying to speak but couldn’t form words. Hugo slid up and licked across Kevin’s hole. Again, this time pressing his tongue in.
Kevin dropped his head with a groan of pleasure and reached behind with both hands to pull his ass cheeks even farther apart, arching his back to give Hugo an open invitation. Hugo buried his tongue inside Kevin, licking into smooth muscle, tasting a slightly sweet flavor, almost how Kevin’s cock tasted but stronger and so very different than he’d ever expected. Kevin moaned and mumbled into his pillow, only the strangled more and please being understood.
Hugo found a rhythm, forcing his tongue inside Kevin as far as he could go but then gently licking and kissing around the rim of Kevin’s ass too. He found Kevin’s cock, thick and heavy between his legs and started stroking him as he ate his ass, loving the way Kevin just gave himself over, gave up complete control and handed over every ounce of his trust to Hugo. He knew that was a big deal. Kevin didn’t trust easily, and Hugo appreciated it.
Muscle tightened around Hugo’s tongue, fluttering in a spasm of unfettered pleasure as Kevin started coming, dripping all over the sheet below him, drenching it with how much come he released. And then he collapsed in it.
Hugo slid beside Kevin’s exhausted body, smiling at the sleepy, dazed look that met Kevin’s eyes once he started pushing strands of sweaty hair away from his face. Hugo nestled into the pillow beside him and gently stroked his fingers over Kevin’s face and neck and shoulder, causing Kevin’s heavy eyelids to drift shut again. Hugo closed his own, pleased he could make Kevin feel so blissed out.
SEXUALLY, things progressed slowly but surely as the days passed, resulting in Kevin and Hugo being more and more daring, willing to try all sorts of new things. It was all new, and eventually scary.
Anal sex. They didn’t know if they should try it, but they were both curious. Hugo was afraid it would hurt. They both had fingered each other, spending long, long minutes stretching each other and searching for that sensitive spot inside which drove their hips toward more stimulation. They both liked it. It was hard to say who would be the penetrator or the penetratee. Top or bottom, they both eventually learned were the right terms, glad to have words to talk about this that didn’t set them into laughing fits.
While Christmas shopping in Minneapolis, Charisse had insisted on taking Hugo to a gay bookstore called A Brother’s Touch. There, she bought him The Joy of Gay Sex. “So you don’t hurt yourself,” she told him right in front of the storeowner, much to his embarrassment. The man smiled at him with kind eyes while bagging up the book and encouraged him to stop in again.
For obvious reasons, the book hadn’t made it under the tree, but it was definitely the best gift he’d gotten. He and Kevin had paged through the book together, looking at the graphic pencil sketches and reading about sexual practices neither of them had even heard of. That’s where Hugo got the idea to rim Kevin. He loved having his ass played with, so it seemed like something worth trying.
The book opened them up to talking more about sex, probably even made them both a hell of a lot hornier. Sex was on Hugo’s mind all the time, and now anal was right at the forefront.
He hated to say it, but he felt he had to.
“You told Tricia you weren’t ready. It’s just, maybe we should wait. There’s no rush, is there? I mean, physically maybe, but no other rush.”
“I didn’t have sex with Tricia because I don’t want to have sex with her.”
“Oh.” Hugo considered that and then said, “We don’t have to decide today.”
“You’re right,” Kevin said as he unbuttoned Hugo’s pants and started sucking his cock.