Chapter Twenty-one

I was asked the same question afterwards, over and over. Why didn’t I tell the truth sooner, when the beadles came for me or when I was put into Coldbath Fields or when they took me to Newgate to wait for my trial? It was never a woman who asked.

Mr Jones said he didn’t understand why I made up tales about taking George to my aunt and giving him to the parish and sending him into the country. He said it made me look guilty and I did not help myself by telling those lies. How could he understand what it is to be in such dread of what someone can do that you would say anything, endure anything, willingly lay your head on the block, to protect your children? Mr Aris had so many ways to hold me in his power. First by saving me from the thing I dreaded most, the same fate as my father, then by giving me what I thought was my freedom granted by King George himself. When he told me that was not real, his grip tightened because by then I was a mother and he knew my greatest concern was no longer for myself. I learned from Catherine Despard what was right but that was in my mind and what was in my heart was stronger. When I saw George in a coffin in the vault of the church, I only had one thought: to keep Billy safe. I said what Mr Aris had told me to say. I said it over and over again, and I watched their faces fall. I watched their eyes turn away from me.

Standing in Old Bailey after all the witnesses had spoken, I knew it was nearly over when I was given water to drink. She is lifeless that is faultless. Would those twelve men see it, the guilt I felt, so heavy I could hardly stand? I should’ve kept George safe by my side. I should not have trusted. I should never have left him.

Death is no mystery for someone like me but in the minutes when I was waiting for Lord Ellenborough to give his verdict I thought only of life. I looked down at Mr Jones the very same moment he looked up at me. The first I ever saw of him was two black shoes shining with silver buckles in the cellar of the Session House, and on that day I thought he was a cold-hearted man but I was wrong. It’s his beadle’s coat I remember now. I never thought of it till today, how glad I always was to see its blue and red and gold.

After nine hours, the end was close. Lord Ellenborough gave his summary of the prisoner’s testimony, commenting forcefully to the jury on the strong set of circumstances they should consider as suggesting her guilt. ‘I must observe,’ he said with deliberate gravity, peering directly at the foreman, ‘it does not show the affection of a mother who has had her child taken from her, when she sees the said child in the state in which it was found, to deny the identity of her offspring. It would seem that instead of denying it in that state of martyrdom, she would have used every effort to bring the guilty offenders to justice.’

Henry Jones had never felt so useless.

The judge reminded the jury of their duty. ‘You will be kept without fire, food or drink until you have reached your verdict. Remain seated.’ The four men in the back row leaned down to those in the middle row. The four in the front row stretched up to those behind them. It would not be long. Tired, thirsty and eager to get out to the privy, they were not going to linger over their deliberations.

It took two more hours.

The foreman stood, wiped his forehead, coughed once and gave a half-bow in the judge’s direction. Their verdict was unanimous. On the charge of murder, they found the defendant, Sarah Evans, innocent.

The room erupted into noise but Lord Ellenborough called for order. The foreman had more to say.

‘We are of the opinion that Thomas Aris is deeply implicated in the murder of George Evans. We are all agreed in this view, from the circumstance of the handkerchief found about the drowned child’s neck being last traced to be in the possession of Aris. We recommend that some immediate judicial action should be taken on him.’

This time, there was silence. A hundred people looked up at Lord Ellenborough. He did not pause for a second.

‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘The law is quite clear. My opinion on the matter is irrelevant. The gentlemen of the jury have done their duty in making this representation but I can make no judicial ruling on any person except the defendant before this court today. Mr Aris is free to go.’