“I’ve never been one to dance around an issue, so I’ll come straight to the point and ask you about your intentions toward my daughter.”
Edward had faced down many hostile enemies during his years of service. One concerned father was nothing in comparison. “If Miss Kent agrees, I hope to marry her. I’d like your permission, but we are both old enough that it isn’t needed.”
Lord Kent’s brows drew together. “When you called upon us in London, you told us that you had a letter for Grace from the man she was supposed to marry.”
“I did and I have delivered it to her.” After much avoidance on her part, he added silently.
“Did Freddie put you up to this? Did he ask you to come here and pay court to Grace?”
“No, my lord.” Edward hadn’t expected that question, but he could see why Lord Kent would wonder. Of course, he wasn’t giving his daughter enough credit if he thought that was the only reason he’d stayed in Somerset.
“Good,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Grace deserves better than that. I made a mistake when I allowed Helen to marry Lord Trenton solely because of his position in society and without any thought to his feelings for her. I have no intention of allowing the same thing to happen to Grace.”
He wondered at the man’s cryptic comments. Freddie hadn’t told him much about Lady Trenton, only that her husband had died in some sort of accident. He couldn’t even remember the details now.
Lord Kent was more at ease now that he’d settled his concerns. Their conversation shifted, naturally, to his time on the continent and that final battle. While Edward made sure to share the story of Freddie’s bravery, he wouldn’t reveal the truth about his last moments. He and Grace knew and that was enough.
Disappointment settled over him when he returned to the drawing room with Lord Kent and found only Lady Trenton and Lady Kent waiting. Despite what she had indicated, Grace must have decided to put off their private conversation. Seeing no point in prolonging the evening, he took his leave.
As he left the house, he tried but failed to make sense of Grace’s behavior over dinner. He’d felt alive and invigorated when he realized she was flirting with him and wondered if he’d scared her away. He’d been careful to be circumspect toward her since that day she’d rejected him a second time, hoping that giving her time to get to know him better would ease her concerns about marrying him. And tonight he’d thought his patience was finally being rewarded when he saw signs of the spark that had drawn him to her the first time they’d met. With it had come the realization that he hadn’t proposed to her only because he’d wronged Freddie’s memory by taking the man’s betrothed to his bed. He wanted her because of who she was, not who she’d been supposed to marry.
Grace was his and he meant to keep her. But juxtaposed against that belief was the doubt that told him he didn’t deserve to be happy.
The thought of spending his life without her left him experiencing emotions he’d always been able to keep at bay. During England’s involvement in the war against Napoleon, he’d been successful in his campaigns mainly because he’d always had the knack of pushing back his emotions, keeping them behind an imaginary wall, and doing what needed to be done. Freddie’s death had left a crack in that wall.
And now Grace had taken advantage of that crack and caused the entire wall to crumble, leaving him open and exposed.
He couldn’t help but wonder if he was destined to be unhappy. After all, why should he find joy in Grace’s arms when Freddie had been denied that very thing? And if he was being completely truthful with himself, he had to admit he’d had doubts all along when Grace had hidden the truth of her identity from him. She’d wanted to tell him the truth that evening, before they’d made love, and he’d stopped her. He hadn’t wanted to consider the possibility that his suspicions were correct and so had acted selfishly, convinced that by ignoring his reservations they would prove false.
Only they hadn’t been false.
He was halfway to the stables, choosing not to wait at the house for a groom to bring his mount, when he heard his name called. Half expecting he had imagined it, he turned to find Grace rushing out of the house and hurrying toward him. He looked past her and saw that her parents had come to the door, no doubt wondering why their daughter was chasing after him. His blood began to pound as he wondered the same thing.
Lady Trenton moved into the doorway and spoke to them, but from this distance, he couldn’t tell what she’d said. But he could see their obvious uncertainty before they stepped back into the house. Grace’s sister smiled at him before closing the door.
When Grace reached him, his concern for her reputation warred with his desire to drag her into his arms. But he would not do what Freddie had done to her—force her into a marriage she didn’t want.
“Your sister convinced your parents to go back into the house, but I think they’re probably watching us from a window.”
Grace had to take a moment to catch her breath before replying. “It matters not. I only care about you.” She paused before adding, “Do you care for me at all? Beyond feeling bound to take care of me?”
He hesitated, his heart filled with a mixture of anticipation and dread, as he considered how to respond. He stared down at her and was momentarily overwhelmed not just by her beauty but by the fact that he sensed she was on the verge of baring her soul to him. Panic threatened to surface as he struggled with the certainty that he was the last man who should be accepting what she was offering.
“I can’t love you,” he said when he finally spoke. Although he hadn’t answered her question, strictly speaking he hadn’t lied. It was true that he shouldn’t love her, not when his continued existence had come at the cost of another’s life, but he hadn’t said that he wasn’t already in love with her.
“You know that Freddie was a very dear friend to me, but our engagement, for me, was a practical one, meant to last only so long as he remained at war.”
She’d confessed her intention to break her betrothal to Freddie before and, in that moment, he could understand just how heartbroken the man would have been. “Freddie deserved better,” he said.
Her eyes were filled with sorrow. “Yes he did. I wish I could have given him that, but in the end…” She struggled to regain her composure, and his heart ached for her. “Please, just read his letter.”
He wanted to deny her request, but her earnest expression kept him from giving voice to the words.
She must have seen his hesitation, for she added, “He speaks of you in it. And he wanted you to know about that last day.” She held the letter out to him. “Please?”
With sudden clarity, he could understand why she’d avoided him those first few days he’d been in Somerset and why she’d taken advantage of his misunderstanding when she’d shaken her head in denial. The very last thing he wanted to do in that moment was read the words of the man who had died in his place.
Wanting only to have the task finished, he took the letter she extended to him and unfolded the paper. His eyes scanned the words before him. When he reached the end, he started over again at the beginning.
The revelation that Freddie had known he’d done Grace a disservice in leaving her with no option but to agree to his proposal astonished him, as did his friend’s declaration that he’d intended to release her from her promise when he returned home. But what surprised him most was learning that Freddie had received news he was going to die and there was nothing the doctors could do for him.
He’d been correct when he wrote that Edward would have tried to prevent him from hastening that end.
He refolded the note and handed it back to Grace, his mind racing with the implications revealed by its contents. They stared at one another for several long seconds.
“I didn’t know,” he said when he finally broke the silence. “All this time I thought he’d acted precipitously, that he was in low spirits and would have recovered in time. I’ve been so angry at myself for not realizing what he planned to do and stopping him.”
Grace shook her head. “You couldn’t save him. Freddie could be quick to act, often jumping right into the middle of all sorts of madcap adventures when we were young. But this… what he did in the end… wasn’t one of those times. He knew what he was doing.”
He ached to draw her into his arms, but at that moment he couldn’t be certain of anything. Not only had everything he’d believed about his duty to his friend been turned on its head, but he couldn’t trust his instincts when it came to the woman before him. She’d refused him twice already but had been attentive to him all evening. Hell, he’d been half-hard whenever she’d looked at him. But now he didn’t know how to act. Should he press his suit again, or would doing so place him in the same selfish category as Freddie?
In that moment, he knew exactly how his friend had felt about Grace because he felt the exact same way. In his letter, Freddie had stated that he loved her enough to want her to be happy without him, but Edward wasn’t sure if he was capable of letting her go.
It felt as though they were on the edge of a precipice, the future fraught with potential. Should he go over the cliff with her, knowing he would not be able to hold back the need pulsing through his very soul, or draw back and allow her the freedom she’d craved now for so many years?
“Tell me what you want, Grace.” He took one of her hands, half expecting her father to come bursting out of the house but willing to take that chance. He swept his thumb over the back of her hand, his blood beginning to heat when he saw her eyes widen and a shiver go through her body. The night was warm, so he knew that slight tremor couldn’t be attributed to her being cold.
As he stared down at her, he tried to read her thoughts. Emotions flickered across her face—hope, doubt, uncertainty—but he was determined not to press her. He would give her the freedom to make this decision for both of them.
“I think…” She looked away and he tensed, waiting for her to pull away from him. When her gaze met his again he couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but he noticed how her shoulders had straightened as though she, too, were bracing herself for another uncomfortable scene between them.
He loosened his hold, but instead of drawing her hand from his, she tightened her grip.
She took a deep breath and spoke quickly. “I want you. But I don’t want you to marry me out of a mistaken sense of duty. Or because you feel honor bound because you believe you’ve ruined me.”
His heart began to beat faster, but he allowed Grace to finish. She’d been holding herself aloof from him and was finally confiding in him again. He realized again just how much he’d missed this open side of her.
“I could have stopped you that evening I came to your cottage… I know you would have respected my wishes.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I didn’t want to. You make me feel things I’ve never imagined possible. Since Freddie went away, there have been a few men who made it known they wanted to engage in a discreet affair.” He must not have hidden the anger that sparked at her admission because she rushed to add, “Nothing happened with those men. I wasn’t looking to trap you and I wasn’t with you because I was curious about the intimate side of male-female relationships. I didn’t stop you because… Well, because it was you. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to be as close as possible to you.” There was the barest of hesitations before she added, “I love you.”
She humbled him with her confession. How had she gone from being a woman who hid from him so he couldn’t deliver a letter that might cause her pain to the brave woman standing before him now, laying her heart open?
Hang her parents. Now that Grace had confided her feelings for him, he’d be damned if he let her go. And if that meant he could only have her because her parents forced a match between them, then so be it.
He drew her closer, and when there was only the smallest of spaces separating them, he clasped her face between his hands and lowered his head to hers. Somehow he kept the kiss gentle, but the fire that leapt through his veins at finally having her in his arms again had him using every ounce of self-control he possessed. He broke the kiss before that control could snap and he devoured her right then and there.
The last time he’d proposed to this woman—no, he thought ruefully, the last time he’d ordered her to marry him—he’d told himself he was doing it for Freddie. He realized now that all along he’d been thinking only of himself.
“I’ve been an idiot and have mishandled everything. But you should know that duty and honor are not what I feel when I look at you or hold you.”
Her smile was tremulous. “Ask me again.”
He needed no further prompting. This time he got down on one knee before reaching for her hand again. “I love you, Grace Kent.” He enjoyed how her eyes had widened in shock at his proclamation and took heart in the fact that he was finally doing something right. “Will you make me the happiest of men and consent to be my wife?”
She yanked on his arm and he allowed her to pull him up. When she threw herself into his arms, he closed his eyes in relief and tightened his embrace.
“Yes,” she said into his shoulder, her head nodding frantically against him, punctuating that single word.
She was grinning when she pulled back to look up at him, her face radiant with joy. The guilt he’d been feeling, his doubts about being deserving of happiness, all faded away, replaced with the certainty that he would spend the rest of his life making sure Grace would always be this happy.
“The ceremony will take place as soon as possible,” he said. “I need to make love to you again… and this time I might even call you by the correct name.”
She swatted playfully at his shoulder. “That is a terrible thing to say.”
The front door to the house opened then, cutting off what he’d been about to say, and her family descended upon them. They made no pretense that they hadn’t been observing his marriage proposal and Grace’s acceptance, and a small part of him was glad of that fact. This time Grace would not be escaping him.
She shot him a glance then, her expression telling him she was done hiding from him.
He’d gone through much in his life to reach this point. War, bloodshed, the loss of many good men under his command, one of whom he considered a friend and whom everyone had loved. But to find this woman he would do it all again.
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Book 4 in the Hathaway Heirs series, Miss Hathaway’s Wish, is available now. For a sneak peek, turn the page…