Hans finally left the office at seven. I sneak out at seven-thirty. I’m late for dinner. I hate to be late, and I’m carting an oversized puppy with me. So much for first impressions. Oh well, Seth is my past. First impressions might also be called last impressions.
The happy news is that I haven’t had time to worry about meeting Seth’s parents, though I must admit I’m very curious. They’ve spent a lifetime in China preaching, they supplied their son with a Stanford education, and I wonder where the disconnect starts. Will they act like wealthy elite (like Kevin’s parents) or godly missionaries? Perhaps a mixture of both?
I pull up in front of Seth’s condo and let Rhett relieve himself on a growing sycamore, and then I knock. Seth’s condominium is so typically bachelor. His walls are white, there’s dirt in every corner, dust bunnies on the sixties-style linoleum, and the carpet lining the stairs is framed by darkened edges from a lack of vacuuming. On a happy note, I smell Lysol before the door even opens, so I know he cleaned today.
Seth opens the door, and his parents are peering out from behind him. They’re tall, much taller than I imagined, and older. Probably in their late seventies. Seth’s father has a full head of gray hair, a solid, stocky build, and the same piercing blue eyes as his son’s. His mother is still beautiful, with a crown of silver hair up in a bun, gray-blue eyes, and skin aged by the sun. I hand Rhett’s leash to Seth and bow like when I’m in Taiwan.
“Dr. and Mrs. Greenwood. It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.”
Mrs. Greenwood envelops me in a hug and nods at her son in approval. Dr. Greenwood thrusts a weathered hand my way and shakes mine firmly.
“The pleasure is ours,” Mrs. Greenwood says. “Seth tells us you have a beautiful voice from the Lord Himself, and you have a job as a patent attorney.”
“Well, I’m a patent attorney, anyway. I’m sorry I’m late. See this gorgeous puppy your son gave me? He caused me a bit of trouble at work today. I had to stay a little late.”
“You bought her a dog?” Seth’s mother looks confused. Yeah, join the club. I was thinking princess-cut diamond myself.
“Ashley loves animals.”
I smile. “Well, I love Rhett anyway. He’s a great dog, and we’re working on sitting. Rhett, sit!” I say, and my puppy jumps on my lat-est pair of nylons. I feel them unravel up my shin. I smile again. “Sit!” Rhett just looks at me, his puppy dog eyes not connecting. “Well, like I said, we’re working on it.”
“Let’s go eat,” Seth announces. “This is a late dinner for my parents.”
Just help me out here. “Yes, I’m so sorry,” I say again.
I see Mrs. Greenwood jab Seth in the back for being rude. Our ride in their rented Taurus is fairly quiet, but I’m sitting in the back with Seth’s mother, and she’s smiling at me. Finally she speaks. “So Seth tells me you spend time in Taiwan.”
“I do. I’m not really supposed to, since most of my work is American law, but seeing the product firsthand helps me in the patent process, so I tend to spend time there.”
“Do you like Taiwan?”
Hmm. How do I answer this tactfully? “I’m not really a fish person, so the eating is difficult. But I love the people.” Which is true.
Mrs. Greenwood laughs. “When Cal and I first went to China, I’ll never forget our first meals. I didn’t know how to cook, and I’d burn the rice. I didn’t know you could burn anything by boiling it, but apparently, if there’s not enough water, you can burn anything. Cal didn’t think going out to eat was a good example to set, so he hired an older Chinese woman who taught me everything I know. I think in those early days, the Chinese woman laughed at me.”
“Now she cooks like a professional, of course,” Dr. Greenwood says. “And she taught our daughter when she was still toddling, so when Sara came home for college, she fed some poor seminary student and now I have a son-in-law. They’re based in Hawaii with the mission.”
“You never told me you had a sister, Seth.”
“You never asked.”
Again, Mrs. Greenwood whacks the back of the driver’s seat, and I have to stifle my laughter. “We always planned to leave China when our kids were grown, but now it’s home. With Sara in Hawaii and Seth going to India, I suppose there is no place we really call home. We’re a bunch of gypsies, this family.”
I honestly think Seth’s mother has the gentlest nature I’ve ever encountered. You just feel God’s presence when you’re around her, and his father, while stodgy and old-fashioned, still has that look in his eye when watching his wife. That John/Brea thing where you hold something very valuable. For all intents and purposes, Seth should covet marriage. He should be dying to get the same deal his dad has, but he’s not. I long to tell Seth’s mother how we breezed right through the Jeopardy phase and went straight into cut bait. I’m floating away as we speak.
“How long are you visiting for?” I ask.
“We’ll be here a month. Dr. Greenwood has a heart doctor and we visit once every two years for medical care.”
I look at Seth’s dad who has the build of an old Marine, and I can’t imagine him letting a heart issue get to him.
“We came to see Seth, too, Mother,” Cal says.
“We did,” Mrs. Greenwood says, “But of course, now that he’ll be in India, it should be easier. Will you miss him?” she asks me. Seth looks at me in the rearview mirror. His intense blue eyes are lit by the headlights behind us.
“I will miss him, but Seth has to do what he has to do.”
“I want Ashley to go with me, Mother,” Seth explains.
“You don’t want to marry Seth? You two seem so right for each other,” Evelyn Greenwood says. And I feel the tears starting to sting. How do I explain he hasn’t asked without making him look like a total loser?
“The subject hasn’t come up,” I finally say with a smile, and Mrs. Greenwood takes my hand.
She speaks again. “It’s been so long since I had a pie from Marie Callendar’s. I’ve been dreaming of it. I’m considering not ordering dinner and just getting pies to try. What do you think, Ashley?”
“I think if you came all the way from China, you should get whatever your heart desires.”
“We’ve only been seeing each other for nine months,” Seth blurts. I guess it’s his late response to the question about commitment, but I’m just embarrassed for him.
“Your father and I knew each other six weeks.” She turns back to me. “Lemon meringue and strawberry-rhubarb. That’s where I’ll start. What about you, Ashley? Will you join me?”
“German chocolate,” I say, trying to ignore the fact that Seth has just announced we’re not getting married, and that all this had been decided before this fiasco called dinner.
The rest of “supper” as Evelyn called it, is a wash. Seth’s mother and I bond and eat pie, while he talks to his dad about ministry possibilities in India. Mrs. Greenwood is so entirely normal. I wasn’t expecting that. I think of people who spend their lives in the ministry on a higher plane, but she’s probably the most down-to-earth woman I ever met.
At Seth’s doorstep, I grab up Rhett and his water dish. “Evelyn, it was such a pleasure to meet you. You too, Cal. I hope you have a wonderful visit, and a safe trip home. If you need anything while you’re here after Seth leaves, just call me.” And I hand them each a business card. “Even if you just need more pie, you call me.”
Seth walks me down to my car. “My mother likes you.”
“I like her.”
“She’s a great lady.”
Enough of the elephant in the room already. I didn’t graduate with honors for this. “Look Seth, I know things are strained between us, but I do wish you the best with your future. With India and whatever else it holds.”
“But you won’t agree to go.”
Not without a ring, no. I don’t think I’d even go with a ring at this point. I’m failing to see what I ever saw in Seth Greenwood. He stands before me with a warm look in his perfectly incredible tanzanite eyes, and I feel nothing.
“If I went to a foreign country with a man who’s not my husband, what would that say about my faith?” Okay, besides my boss. “I’m old-fashioned, I guess.” I meet his gaze. “I’m not the one, Seth. If I was, it wouldn’t be this hard.” Personally, I think you ought to look into a marble statue, but that’s another day’s conversation.
He grabs my hands. Rhett whimpers. “I can’t see myself marrying anyone else. I just don’t think marriage is right for me, yet.”
Suddenly, I don’t see his strong moral convictions, or his piercing blue eyes. I see a wimp. A man who is so afraid of losing that he can’t take a risk, and I’m momentarily disgusted by the sight of him: by his bald head, by his simpering expression, by his complete lack of guts. He’s right. Marriage isn’t right for him. And it’s all about him. It always has been.
I pick up the Indian silk scarf that’s in my car and hang it around his neck. “Good luck to you.”
“I’m sorry, Ashley.” His eyes carry the weight of the world in them. He hates to hurt me, but what can he do? He can’t commit either.
You are sorry, I think to myself. Sorrier than you know. “Seth, I’m going back to the office. I didn’t get anything done, and now I have Rhett to protect me.”
“Will you come to the airport to see me off?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”
“So this is it.” He cups my cheeks in his hands. I pull away. Whatever I felt, it’s like God just said, enough!
“Stay safe,” I whisper.
“I’ll miss you.” He kisses me again on the lips, and there’s nothing. No sweeping emotion, nothing. It’s probably like kissing my brother, but Lord forbid I ever find out what that really feels like.
Rhett and I get into the car, and I watch Seth in my rearview mirror through the veiled view of the evening fog. Nine months and a heart full of love, wasted on a tin man.