Idon’t know what to expect at my parents’, and I’m leery of walking in the house. It sounds quiet. Eerily quiet. I mean, these are the people who named me after Ashley Wilkes, and while there’s a heart-warming story behind that, no one really knows that. They just think we’re a little off-kilter. And they’d be right.
I look back at Kevin. “There’s no yelling. That can’t be good.”
“Maybe they’re having dessert. Open the door,” Kevin says, like a movie extra waiting to enter the haunted house. Just as we open the door, his beeper goes off again.
I put a forefinger in his chest accusingly. “You’ve got that thing timed!”
He holds up two fingers and shakes his head. “Scout’s honor.”
I open the door, and there’s my family quietly sitting at the dining room table playing Scrabble. With the Mensa people. Wonders never cease.
“Hi,” I say quietly. Don’t want to ruin anyone’s triple word score or anything. I didn’t even know my parents owned a board game.
Mei Ling, my sister-in-law, brings herself to her feet and waddles over. There’s nothing worse than feeling large next to a pregnant woman. Mei Ling embraces me and whispers in my ear. “Get them out of here.”
“Dr. and Mrs. Novak!” I clap my hands together, like I’m announcing circle time at the local preschool. “I’m so glad you were able to come.”
“Oh, Ashley, we had the best time. Did you know your mother used to be Scrabble champion at her high school?”
I look at my mother. I have never seen her play Scrabble. I haven’t even seen her do a crossword puzzle. My mom’s smile indicates that her teeth are grinding against each other, and I have a feeling the Novaks are not her first pick for a set of in-laws.
Kevin gets his parents to the door by putting on their coats as they rise. I look at him and catch his smile. I guess it’s the universal mind to be embarrassed about one’s parents. They stand up, he ushers them toward the door, and then moves close to me and I feel his warm breath on my hair. Seth who?
Kevin speaks into my cheek. “Whatever you do, do not hold me responsible for my parents’ behavior. Remember, they live across the country. You will only see them twice a year.”
I nod, but I’ve already seen them twice this year. And I’m not even officially seeing their son.
“I’ve got to run to the hospital,” Kevin says aloud. “Mother, Father, I’ll drop you at my place on the way.”
“We’re having a fabulous time, Son. Why don’t you come back for us?” Elaine says with a smile, but I can tell by the weary eyes of my family members that they’re ready for a quiet, familiar evening of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. They’ve had enough of entertaining the brain trust.
Dr. Novak Sr. stretches. He flexes his biceps and parades in front of my father. “Look at that, Hank. That’s what working out will do for you. I could still take my son in a wrestling match, and I’m sixty-eight.”
“Yes, well, Dad, let’s get you back home and you can work off some of Mrs. Stockingdale’s fabulous dinner. It still smells wonderful in here.”
They’re out the door and the collective sigh of relief sounds like a rushing train.
“Ash, where did you find those people?” Dave asks.
“Makes me glad my mother is in China,” Mei Ling giggles.
My father gets up and heads for the TV. He points at me as he goes by. “You gonna marry that guy?”
“Not necessarily. Mom, what happened?”
“Nothing, Ashley. Kevin is a darling boy. Don’t concern yourself with his parents. I married your father, after all.”
My father smirks at my mom.
“I’m not getting married. I’ve just met the man. What happened?”
“Never mind, Ashley. It’s not important.” My mother picks up the pie plate from the center of the table. “Help me clean up.”
Again with the cleaning! “Will you drive me home when I’m done, Dave?”
“You know, I could take Seth droning on about The Matrix for a lifetime before I go through that again.” He points at the door. “Those people need help, Ashley. Finish up. I’ll take you home.”
“Come on, no one’s going to tell me what happened?”
“I’ll tell you,” Mei Ling offers, but Dave looks at her threateningly.
“Don’t you say a word, Mei Ling. That garbage doesn’t need repeating.”
I know Mei Ling will tell me later, but apparently I’m going to have to wait.
Three days later I march into the Reasons Sunday school meeting like I’m marching into negotiations in Taiwan. Just try and mess with me. The room is typically Reason. Unlike every other classroom, there’s no coffee. There are no donuts. This is simply because no one can be bothered to pick them up at the front of the church where all the Sunday mothers have put together a platter for each and every class. These people are lucky I’m not the violent sort. They’re all sitting around laughing, completely ignoring my entrance. And I’m wearing DKNY and looking good, so that’s just not right.
I approach Pastor Max and his lovely wife Kelly and they smile at me sympathetically. As in, poor Ashley can’t find a man to save her life. I hear the murmur as my presence becomes known, and Seth’s absence gets talked about. I know what they’re all thinking. Poor, dumped Ashley, can’t even land an Average Joe reject.
“Ashley, did you have a nice Thanksgiving?” Kelly asks.
“I did. I’d like to make an announcement before class if that’s okay.”
Max looks a little unnerved, and Kelly looks uneasy. “Pertaining to?”
“Pertaining to the Christmas party. It’s for Kay. I want to make an announcement for her.”
They smile their perfect Osmond grins at one another. “Oh sure. Feel free. We’ll lead with that!”
I walk up to the board, and I write down the following:
Kay Harding, MSEE
14056 Channing Way
Palo Alto, CA 94301
Ashley Stockingdale, Esq.
14056 Channing Way
Palo Alto, CA 94301
Pastor Max coughs and begins the class. “Well, I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving. I know Kelly and I did. I trust you all had a wonderful time with whatever plans you had. We’re going to start today with announcements, and we have one from Ashley about our upcoming Christmas party.”
I clear my throat. “First, I have an announcement about Thanks-giving.” I smile broadly and I look at all the blank stares. I am the epitome of Spokesmodel. I could be on Star Search, unquestionably.
The complete litany of Reasons lies before me: bald men who think they’re Keanu Reeves and Johnny Depp. I shake my thoughts. I am in a house of God.
“Many of you were lucky enough to have a Thanksgiving feast prepared by our own Kay Harding.”
“Yeah, Kay!” Greg shouts as a light round of applause starts. Presently, no one has noticed she isn’t here.
“I’ve put her name and address on the board because that’s where you can send your thank-you notes. She’s at home this morning, crying because no one appreciated her days of effort for dinner. And you should appreciate what she did because I know none of you would intentionally hurt a Christian sister.”
Kelly starts to edge towards me, as though she’s going to wrestle the podium away from me, but I grab the sides of it. “I also put my own name up there. That’s where you can send your thank-you notes to me for clearing your plates and throwing away your aluminum cans.”
Kelly comes closer and I look at her like don’t mess with me, sweetheart. I’ve got some righteous anger going on, and I’m not stopping. “I’d like to read a verse to you all. This is from James 3:13. ‘Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.’”
Their eyes are wide like saucers, and I know I’m about to be gonged, so I go as fast as possible. “Kay does all of these things for you because she loves the Lord. She wants to be useful to Him. Every Wednesday night she hosts a Bible study where King Solomon him-self would be happy to dine. On Thanksgiving, she slaved over that stove for two days and brought out the fine china so that you all would feel like you had a place to call home. She doesn’t want accolades and attention, but could you all find it in your hearts to say that what she does matters?”
Okay, tearing up a bit.
“That would be really appreciated by me. I love Kay, and I hate to see her hurt. I know you all do too.”
Pastor Max nods his head as if to say that wasn’t so bad.
As I’m walking out I hear the murmurs, “Boyfriend just left her.”
“Can you blame him? That’s one angry chick.”
“She’s out of control.”
Just a few things that make them feel better. I turn on my heel and offer one final comment. “The Christmas announcement is . . .” Pause for effect. Little lawyer trick. “That you’re planning your own Christmas party. Kay has quite a bit of stress with our remodel, and that’s taking precedence.”
I walk out of the class with my head held high. Once outside, I bump straight into Arin, who’s wearing a violet Indian sari with gold accessories and a bindi dot on her forehead. First thought is Did Seth bring me the scarf and her the rest of the outfit?
“Hi, Ashley.”
“Arin.” Is it Halloween? “Are you taking up Hinduism?”
She smiles. “Of course not. I’m going to India. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about last week when you raced out of here to be with Brea.”
“Right. I heard about it from Seth. Well, best of luck with that.” I try to walk away and she grabs my arm.
“I hope you’re not angry with me, Ashley. This is really something I feel in my heart that I’m called to do.”
“Ministry at all costs. I understand perfectly.”
“You’re mad about Seth and me.”
Just hearing “Seth and me” makes me realize I’m not as over Seth as I’d like to be. But then, I guess no one ever appreciates it when their ex moves on. Especially when it’s before your actual breakup. “I don’t know what ‘Seth and me’ means, I suppose.” I look straight into her bright blue eyes, and they darken for just a split second. “But what-ever. Just be happy.”
“There’s nothing between us, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“I’m not implying anything, Arin.”
She stands, stunned at my reaction, and I must admit, it’s a little terse. I think I drank too much coffee this morning.
“I hope your ministry in India goes as well as the one in Costa Rica.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” And it isn’t. “Didn’t things go well in Costa Rica?”
“Things went fine. Why don’t you like me, Ashley?”
Um . . . do we really have that kind of time? “You know, I actually really respect you. If you can get Seth to part with any money, you’re a better woman than me.”
“There’s nothing going on in that way with us.”
“There’s nothing going on with you, Arin. Did you ever see that show Average Joe?” I give Arin a slight hug. “Good luck to you. Go and be safe. I will be praying for you, and that’s the truth.”
Arin walks away, tinkling from all her golden baubles as she walks. If that’s what Seth wants, I was a square peg in a round hole the entire time. And just like that time I tried to shove myself through the doggy door at home when I forgot my key? It doesn’t work, and it’s not pretty.