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We’re walking on the warm, white beach feeling the soft grains of sand between our toes, under an unbelievably clear sky, talking about small things—how pretty you look in that sundress, how healthy my hair looks. *placing my hands into yours* … Look at the sunset, isn’t it beautiful?
For seven months they were cyberfriends—they shared cyberwalks on beaches in both California and in Maine, each describing her own beach and its beauty to the other. They shared cyberpicnics, bringing their favorite foods, often feeding each other, taking little nibbles on each other’s fingers, arms, necks, cheeks. Sometimes they boiled fresh Maine lobster on a fire outside of a cozy cabin at an inland camp. Sometimes they went for a drive up the California coast from North L.A. to San Francisco, stopping at their favorite spots, enjoying picnics with freshly picked fruit and champagne. And always, lately, they find themselves in each other’s virtual arms, holding, hugging, loving, kissing, making sweet, passionate, but gentle love tailored to each one’s fantasy.
Dana has envisioned what Janell’s voice will sound like—sweet, womynly, articulate, and oh, so sensual. It would have to be. She could tell by the way she “talked” on line. She knew that the only voices in her head were her own, but Dana had a collection of voices in her head for people she had never met yet whose words were familiar through cyberspace or through letters. Janell was assigned the one that reminded Dana of a sophisticated and intelligent womyn she’d met long ago, who was from California, but lived at the time in New York. And she had the pictures that Janell had scanned into her computer during the seven months they had been communicating.
She knew Janell’s stats, that she was five foot seven, weighed 175 pounds, and had a 36B bust. She knew she had deep brown eyes, jet-black hair; that she wore it long; and that her skin was chocolate brown. So Dana had a relationship with these images, this imagined voice, and the words—wonderful, intelligent, sensual words—on her screen.
I can’t believe I’m really doing this, Janell thought, interrupting the flow of memories of her cyber-relationship, while looking out of the airplane window down on the Northeast landscape. Maybe we should have met in Cali, in my territory, or even somewhere in between, but then again… Maine, I hear, is beautiful, “vacationland” they call it, especially in the summer, so if nothing else, it’s a chance to see Maine.
While they were meeting in Dana’s territory, they were very careful to plan their union so that neither would feel disadvantaged. They reserved two rooms in a lesbian-owned bed-and-breakfast in Belfast that was a couple of hours’ drive from Bar Harbor and three hours from Dana’s home. They’d planned their weekend with plenty of distractions, just in case their 3D experience was different from their cyber experience. Plus, they’d assuage the awkwardness of their first meeting.
I’m kissing you, on your mouth, then your neck, your shoulder, stopping to gently bite your shoulder, right here. Yes. Now I’m moving down to your breast. I see that your nipples are erect for me, mmmmm. Now I’m kissing each one, your left one first, then your right. I am holding your right breast in my left hand, and I have your left breast in my mouth, licking and sucking your nipple.
Dana has finally reached Route 95 after an hour and a half of back roads. The pleasure of some of her favorite fantasies, coupled with the anxiety of meeting Janell, made the ride seem quicker than she remembered. After a few months of sharing each other’s sensual and sexual fantasies, each knows what the other enjoys and would like to explore. Dana knows that Janell loves massages, especially foot massages. She knows that she likes it when Dana gives her sweet, sensual kisses all over her body, from head to toe, nibbling on certain favorite spots along the way. And she knows that Janell likes baths scented with aromatherapy oils, rose and lilac petals in the water, and candles around the tub.
Dana even remembers their shared Jacuzzi fantasies with the jets massaging their bodies, enhancing the pleasure, while making passionate love. It’s too bad the bed-and-breakfast doesn’t have a Jacuzzi, she thinks as she looks at the picture of Janell she has in the memo clip on her dashboard. She says she really looks like her picture. God, I hope so. “I don’t,” she remembers replying. “I don’t have any pictures of myself, but I can try to get one for you before you come out to Maine. There was this newspaper article…”
I am on my knees, in front of you, my arms are wrapped around you, holding your butt, and I’m kissing your navel, rimming your belly button with my tongue. Now I’m moving lower, mmmmm, you smell so good; I’m kissing you now, your lips protrude to me, I kiss them, they kiss me back, I open them and taste your juices, mmmmm, you taste good, too.
Janell could hardly contain herself as she smiled at her gentlewomyn’s consistent and thorough kisses all up and down her body, including her toes. She wondered if Dana would really kiss her toes, or if it will remain a fantasy. She got a fresh manicure and pedicure just in case. Just in case Dana really wanted to suck all of her digits, as she told her on the screen.
Dana remembered their first date. They had been chatting for a while in chat groups, but both claimed that they ignored those little IMs that flashed across the screen by someone’s wanting to fulfill their cyberfantasies. Until one day, when Janell asked her on a date.
Come on, it will be sweet, safe, just a date, okay? And if you’re uncomfortable, we can stop.
I’m shy, Dana responded, and I am not into cybersex.
Me neither, but I’d like to take you on a date.*s*;)
*blushing* okay…
Here, I’ll pour you some champagne.
Great! That’s my favorite too. Okay, *pouring each of us a glass of champagne*
Dana remembered the champagne, she remembered the fresh fruit, she remembered the roses and lilacs—all ordered and waiting at the bed-and-breakfast. She turned off the Portland exit, heading toward the airport. Janell’s plane would be landing in just a few minutes—her anxiety intensified. She manicured her own fingernails, something she had never done, but she remembered Janell’s comment about long nails being a sure sign of a lack of sex. So she gave a little extra attention to brushing under them and buffing them to look pearly. She smiled as she thought about the humor they shared, even in their fantasies.
I’m putting my hands into you, gently, sweetly, I feel your softness…
How are your nails? *LOL*
Janell chuckled out loud at the thought, then turned to see if the womyn sitting next to her noticed. Her heart jumped as she heard the pilot welcoming them to Maine. She took another look at the black-and-white picture she found on the Net herself after Dana told her about an article that a Maine newspaper had run on her. Janell figured that they might have a Web site, and that if there was an article on her with a picture, she might be able to find it. She was quite excited when she did, and found that Dana was a very intelligent-looking, attractive womyn. She held on to the image of the face in the picture, imagining the way she must look in person, envisioning the hue of her skin, the texture of her hair, the thickness of her lips, the whiteness of her teeth, all in relation to the black-and-white picture. She does look like a gentlewomyn, she thought. A gentlewomyn and a scholar. She chuckled at Dana’s self-description. She was anxious to see her in person.
And now, specialgrl would meet gntlwmn and their fantasies would hopefully become realities, their voices would exist outside of their imaginations. Their faces would be three-dimensional, not Janell’s scanned, polished image or Dana’s black-and-white newspaper photo. Their blemishes would be uncovered, their words unedited.
Dana hops up as the announcement is made that flight number 2318, arriving from California with connections through Chicago, will be disembarking at gate number three on the upper deck. She stands. She sits. She pulls out the picture again, takes another long stare, and stands again… She brushes her pants, pulls down her shirt. She runs her hand over her hair. She’s here, she thinks, then she pulls out the placard she had made for Janell.
Janell walks out with the crowd, anxious to meet Dana yet worried that she will not recognize her. But Dana assured her, humorously, that there wouldn’t be very many wimmin who looked like her in Maine. Janell walks into the terminal and sees a beautiful, full-figured dyke smiling pleasantly and holding a sign that says SPECIALGRL ;) in bold, purple letters. At the same time a voice on the airport speaker says, “Welcome to Maine, the way life should be.”