For a time, the darkness held me. Disoriented, confused, unable to see or to hear anything—even my own breath. After a few seconds I realized it was because I wasn’t breathing. The last moments of my life came back in waves and then all at once. My mother’s tears, my father’s anger. Bex’s and Levi’s devastation.
Levi.
I could feel him. My senses were either confused or heightened. He was so close, his adrenaline heightened as if he were about to fight, but I knew he was still there, in my home, without me. I had no idea how to get back there, or where I was, but I had to get back to him; to ease the agony in his eyes moments before I left.
The blackness was sticky, possessive, and held on to parts of me that made it almost impossible to let go. My senses were jumbled, shut off, going haywire, as if tar-like fingers slipped beneath my skin and left me as cold as my surroundings. The cold was somehow refreshing, like sweet ice tea on a blistering hot summer day, and also somehow comforting and soft, making me think twice about breaking free.
Was it better that I stay? Would it be more peaceful without me? What if my return would only hurt those who loved me more? My mother didn’t have to worry about me another moment. Levi didn’t have to fight anymore. No one did. Their war was over if I would only stay away…
Those thoughts spoke in my voice, but they weren’t my own. They came from the darkness; whispering, hissing.
No.
NO.
The darkness had held me, but not tight enough.
As I pushed away from the cold depths, swimming upward through a lake in winter, every bone felt broken, every nerve screamed for me to rise faster, to push myself harder. Each cell in my body seeming to move together in unison at a wildly chaotic pace.
I concentrated, and my leg twitched. The movement caused a sudden burning pain to radiate up to my hip, into my abdomen, and then my chest. After the pain subsided, I willed myself to test the darkness again, and once more it punished me. An electric fence blanketed me, and each movement I made set it off.
As violent as was my end, my new beginning would be excruciating.
After a few moments building up courage and preparing for the pain, I willed myself up, breaching several levels, each time passing through what felt like hundreds of broken mirrors lined in acid and salt. My hair was on fire, my eyes melted, my fingers twisted, and my teeth gnashed in agony. And just when the pain became too much, in the hellish misery of knowing I would either be free or die again, it was over.
The same bench where my parents had first spoken was beneath me, my palms flat against the wood. My home was just a short walk away, my family inside, but I needed to rest and gather my thoughts for a moment under the warm light of the streetlamp nearby.
Was I alive?
Had I died and risen again like freaking Jesus?
Could I come back from the dead anytime I wanted?
What the hell did that make me?
Steam rose from my wet hair and the moisture on my skin. It was thicker than water, the odor similar to the bottom of a trash can, bad breath, and burnt skin. I wrinkled my nose, held my wrist to my mouth, and then let it fall away, unable to get away from the smell.
Crickets chirped loudly in my ear, as did the sound of worms writhing through loose soil, fluttering of a bat above me, and wind grazing the branches above. Those sounds I’d experienced before, not as concise, not as sharp, but they didn’t disturb me like the sounds of sap pulsing through the tree roots in the ground, a deer grunting and breathing ten miles away, the tingling inside a chrysalis as it shuddered in the wind, the blood moving through my mother’s heart. I could also feel her pain. I covered my ears and bent over until it stopped, but it only got louder.
“Stop!” I yelled.
Silence.
I sat up and looked around, unsettled. As much as I wanted to run home, I wasn’t sure how to announce my arrival. My family had just seen me die. How would I explain that their zombie daughter was home in time for dinner?
I stood, taking stock of my extremities. Something was different. Very different. Not off, more like extremely in-tune with all life, from inside me to miles away. When the sounds creeped in, I shut them off without effort, but hearing an ant pulling a donut crumb across the sidewalk before I could willfully ignore it made every step disconcerting.
“Mom?” I called, pushing open the front door.
The lights were out, the entire house dark. Claire’s new Bugatti wasn’t in the drive, so some time had definitely passed. I worried how much.
“Dad?” I called. Panic began to seep in as the idea that my parents would appear gray and elderly crept in, that Levi would be an adult with a wife and family of his own while I’d been held by death for what seemed like a few moments.
“Come into the light,” a familiar voice said. I could see him in the dark, even though he thought he was hidden.
I choked out my relief. “Bex?” He looked exactly the same as the last time I’d seen him. Same clothes, his eyes bloodshot and puffy from saying goodbye.
He stepped forward, the moonlight from the window glistening on the edge of his Glock’s barrel.
He swallowed as his eyes glossed over. “Who are you?”
I nodded. “This is weird, I’m sure. But … it’s me.”
His eyes narrowed. “This is a cruel trick, even by Hell’s standards.”
I shook my head. “It’s not a trick. Where’s Mom and Dad? Claire? Levi?” I gasped. “Where’s Morgan?”
Bex’s gun didn’t waver. “I’ll kill you where you stand, demon.”
“Bex, take a breath. Do I feel like a demon to you?”
He paused, then shook his head. “Eden?”
I nodded.
A tear fell down his cheek, but he still targeted me, unsure. “How?”
I shrugged. “I just remember being stuck in the dark, but then I found my way back.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Is it?” I asked.
“Are you here to kill me?”
I frowned. “No? You’re my uncle. Why would I kill you, dumbass?”
His resolve finally wavered and then disappeared. “You sound like her.” He dropped his gun. “If you’re not, you can just kill me, I guess, because I can’t watch you die again.”
My eyes burned. “I’m sorry.”
He tackled me, sobbing, but after a few seconds, he pulled back, disgusted by the gel covering my body. He sniffed his hand. “What…” he gagged. “What is that?”
I looked at my glistening hand. “I have no idea. Whatever I swam through to get here.”
“Swam through?” he asked, covering his nose with his wrist.
“It’s … hard to explain.”
“Nina is at my mom’s with Jared. Ryan and Claire took Morgan to the hospital.”
“I can feel him,” I said, searching his body. He was banged up, but he would live. I sighed in relief.
Bex watched me, wary. “I don’t even have to answer, do I?”
I shook my head, then looked up at him. There were some questions I had to ask. “Why didn’t you go with them? Or go on a revenge run?”
“I couldn’t,” he said, shaking his head. He hugged me again. “I couldn’t move. I couldn’t stop hearing your voice or seeing the look in your eyes when he…” He swallowed, reliving the memory. “Revenge was the first and last thing on my mind. I wanted nothing more than to light half of Hell up, but I … just felt I should wait here. Now I know why.”
“Where’s Levi? He’s not with Dad.” I could feel everything else perfectly but him. Levi was fuzzy, cloudy, just beyond the reach of my senses.
Bex shrugged. “No. He…”
“And he didn’t follow Morgan?” I said, purposely forming it as a question, even though it was more of a statement. I just needed to think of each person I loved, and I could see their surroundings, their expressions, hear their heartbeats. Morgan was asleep at the hospital, and he was alone.
“He didn’t. But, seeing you… Levi’s pretty messed up, Eden. I don’t know what he’ll do.”
“He’ll do the right thing,” I said, confident.
Bex stood, pulling me up with him. He flung his hands, the gel flying off onto the floor. “We both need a shower, and…” He scanned me from head to toe. “You’re different.”
“You sense it?”
He nodded. “What is it?”
“I don’t know yet. I can…” I breathed out a laugh. “It sounds crazy, but I can hear everything.”
“You always could.”
“Dad is explaining how my death is permanent to Mom. She doesn’t believe it.”
“He’s going to feel stupid in an hour or so. You can hear them?”
“Grandmother is stirring. Claire and Ryan are on their way here.”
“Can you turn it off?”
“Like a television. Flip channels, make some things quiet and others louder, and turn it all off all together.”
Bex nodded slowly. “That’s kind of cool, but your mom’s going to flip.”
“Maybe we should skip that … for now.”
“Really? The girl who is all about transparency wants to omit information from the one family member who hates being in the dark?”
I shrugged one shoulder, already feeling guilty. But I knew my mother. She thought she wanted the truth, when in reality she preferred normal. The key was to keep her from knowing what she didn’t know. Mom had already been through so much, and as strong as she was, she’d just seen her daughter die. “I’ll tell her. Just … one thing at a time.”
Bex pointed at me. “Shower. I’ll tell everyone to rendezvous here.” He hugged me again. “Love you, kiddo. The whole world ended there for a minute.”
“How long?” I asked.
“Huh?”
“How long have I been gone?”
“Almost twelve hours.”
I shook my head, stunned. I touched my middle. “Nothing left behind? My body isn’t lying around here somewhere, right?”
“Your body turned to ash a few minutes after your death. Nina was hysterical.”
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered.
Bex raised an eyebrow. “Are you insane? I don’t want to hear that again. It’s literally written in the Bible not to do that. That one rule not left to interpretation, so maybe respect it?”
“It says not to take the Lord’s name in vain, Bex. I’m not arguing with you about the trinity again. I’ve been a resident of Heaven, remember? Jesus was literally my homeboy.”
Bex chuckled. “Shower. Whatever that shit is stinks, and your mom and dad are going to want to hold you.”
I left him to climb the stairs, my shoes squishing with each step. I pulled the glass door of my shower, twisting the handle and listening as the water surged through the pipes. The water raced over every calcification and gathered at the shower head, finally exploding out, each drop hitting the ground thundering in my ears.
I closed my eyes, blocking the sound. It was like magic, and I wasn’t sure why it was happening or why I could control it. My mind bounced between my loved ones, thinking of questions just to see if I already knew the answer.
Levi.
He was far away. He was in anguish. He was mourning. He was confused because he could sense me again.
The water coagulated the gel even more, and I had to work to keep it from clogging the drain. Getting Hell gel-free took several tries, the globs dripping to the tile floor.
Bex was waiting for me as I stepped out in fresh jeans, a white T-shirt, and Converse, drying my hair with a towel.
“Eden…” He trailed off, trying to make sense of his feelings.
“I know. I’m trying not to let it freak me out. Let’s just find someone to ask before we panic.”
“Is it because you died? Or did he make you different somehow?”
“Lucifer? No. I mean, I don’t know. All I remember is the dark. He wasn’t there. I was alone, and then I broke free.”
“That’s freakin’ wild, kid.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, sitting at the dining table.
“Grandmother is coming,” I said, tilting my ear toward the hall. “And so is a storm.”
“Well, that’s irony right there,” Bex said as rain began to pelt the roof.
A door upstairs closed, and a few moments later Grandmother’s heels were clicking on the marble floor, heading to the dining room. She didn’t look surprised to see me, instead glancing down to her watch.
“That took longer than I thought,” she said, sitting next to me. A clean bandage was taped to a small wound on her head. I could feel it throbbing, sense her head aching. She held my hands in hers. “Was it painful?”
Bex’s expression was indescribable. Every emotion was on his face. “You knew she’d come back?”
“I didn’t know,” Grandmother said, waving him away. “I assumed. It’s Heaven and Hell 101, Bex. Honestly, why didn’t you assume? And why hurt Nina so deeply if Eden was gone years rather than hours, or she didn’t come back at all?”
“Grandmother,” I said, stern. Over the years I’d learned it was the only way she’d listen. “What do you know?”
She squeezed my hands. “I know that you’re back, and your mother will be so happy.” When I glared at her, she continued, however outwardly unruffled. “It was a sacrifice, dear. There is nothing purer. Lucifer should’ve known better than to believe God would allow an act so pure to be held by Hell.” She sat back and sighed. “Honestly, people have been prayed out of purgatory for less.”
“So she’s a slam dunk?” Bex asked. “We have an unbeatable force on our side?”
“Of course not. She has to do her job. She still has human blood running through her veins, and that makes her fallible, obviously. Not a … slam dunk … by any means.” She said Bex’s phrase like it was inferior gunk in her mouth.
“Eden is … different,” Bex said, trying to say it delicately. “Do you know anything about that?”
“Different?” Grandmother said, looking to me.
I nodded.
“You took a shower,” she said. “Why, aside from the obvious.”
“When I came back, I was covered in … a gel. The smell was putrid. The water only made it worse.”
She seemed annoyed. “Of course. He kept you hidden. There is only one place in Hell with a substance like that. The Bog.”
Bex seemed confused. “I feel like I should know what that is.”
“It’s a secret.”
“You knew,” Bex said, unhappy.
“Discussing it brings—” She looked up, and so did Bex.
Something heavy was coming, with a million smaller somethings.
“Just the word.”
“It’s not allowed.”
I stood up, bringing Grandmother with me, putting one hand behind me to protect her. “Then why did you say it?”
“Because that’s what it’s called, Eden, for goodness sake,” she said, unafraid and a little annoyed. She sat down and brought me with her. “When they realize it’s me, they’ll return to wherever they came from.
“How do you know about it?” I asked.
She shook her head. Soon, the masses of aggression and anger began to slowly fade away until it was gone.
“Whoa,” Bex said, still staring at the ceiling. I haven’t felt that since … since right before Eden was born.”
Grandmother sighed. “Yes, well, they’re quick to react these days, and overstaff if you ask me.”
Gravel crunched in the drive as Dad and Claire’s vehicles sped into the drive and came to an abrupt halt.
“Bex?” Mom called, her voice frantic and cracked. The door slammed. “Bex!”
“Dining room!” Bex called, staring at me with a hundred questions reflecting in his eyes.
Mom rushed in, her hair, nose, and chin dripping with rain. Dad rounded the corner, soaked in someone else’s blood.
“Eden?” she shrieked. Just as she moved toward me, Dad held her back. He stood in front of her protectively, even as she struggled.
“Eden?” Mom said, trying to move around her husband. “Jared,” she said, impatient. “Let me … let me go,” she said, leaning away from him.
“Wait,” Dad said, eyeing me.
I stood. “Hi.”
“Hi, baby,” Mom said, breathing out a single laugh. Tears immediately streamed down her face.
“Hi?” Claire said, bringing up the rear. “Hi? That’s all you have to say to us?”
“Eden!” Ryan said with a stunned smile. His eyes glossed over, but he wiped them before any tears could spill over.
“Let me…” Mom said, pushing at my dad. “Let me hold my daughter!” she screamed.
“Nina, wait!” Dad growled.
“It’s her,” Bex said. He met Dad’s gaze, both their eyes glistening with happy tears. A small, relieved chuckle escaped his throat. “I swear. It’s her.”
Dad released Mom, and had I been human, she would’ve tackled me to the ground. Sobbing as she pulled me, she was unable to hold me tight enough.
“What happened? How? How are you here? Where did you go?” she cried. Her hand grabbed the back of my head, and she held my cheek to her shoulder.
I glanced at Grandmother before lying. “It’s hard to explain. I don’t know where I was, just that it was dark,” I said, trying not to invite back the legion that had just rushed us at full force. I didn’t want to chance them returning with my mother and Ryan present.
“And stinky,” Bex said, his nose wrinkling. “I’ll never forget that smell.”
He’s playing along.
“Smell? What smell?” Ryan asked.
“She was covered in steaming, rancid goo,” Bex explained.
All heads turned slowly toward me.
“I showered,” I said, defensive.
Dad took a step toward me. “You were in the Oubliette?”
I shrugged one shoulder. “It was black. I didn’t see anything. It was like I was underwater. Thick, gelatinous water.”
“You saw no one?” Dad asked.
“She just said,” Claire began, annoyed.
“What are you getting at, Jared?” Mom asked, holding me tighter to her side.
“I was hoping she’d crossed paths with Ramiel.” Dad spoke the language of Heaven to my uncle. Not that demons couldn’t understand it, but it hurt them to hear it, making it extremely difficult if one could get his point across quickly enough. “He’s our one contact there. Maybe we could convince him to help us find Levi.” Dad continued in English, “The sooner the better.”
“I’m sure Levi can handle himself,” Ryan said.
Dad shook his head. “This is a strategy. Eden, Levi, Bex… they’re all connected. Whatever they’re planning will be a domino effect.”
“You think they’ll come after me to kill Levi?” Bex said, raising one brow.
“Or kill Levi to kill you,” I said. “But how can our friend help?” I asked, purposefully vague.
I remembered Bex glazing over the subject of Ramiel when I was nine. Ramiel was an Arch. Now, he was an Arch in Hell—the only one. We couldn’t out him. We needed a way to speak about him freely.
“Anyone can fill me in,” Ryan said. “I didn’t major in theology.”
“Or anything,” Dad grumbled.
“Ramiel is a lost cause,” I said.
Bex’s expression sank as he fell into deep thought. “Ramiel and God will never forgive each other.”
I looked to my dad. “We can’t speak of the contact freely. He needs a nickname.”
Dad nodded. “CAHL it is.”
“CAHL?” I asked.
“Cranky asshole?” Claire asked. When Dad smiled, she laughed aloud. “I knew it.”
“So why is Ramiel so significant to our story?” Ryan asked.
I pulled my wet hair into a bun and tucked it into itself so it would stay. “He’s not, except that Ramiel is a fallen angel like Papa Gabe. His wife, Lizeth, was human. She was made an example of, murdered, and when Ramiel asked for a second chance, his prayer wasn’t heard. He begged, he bartered, he offered his life for hers, but God was stubborn about the first rules.”
“I thought God listened to all prayers?” Ryan asked.
“Human prayers,” Claire said.
I shook my head. “Ramiel wasn’t human.”
“And he decried God,” Bex said.
“Decried?” Ryan repeated.
Dad rolled his eyes. “How can we explain it within your understanding? He cursed at the Creator of the Universe like a spoiled teenager.”
Claire frowned. “Lizeth was an innocent, and she was murdered. That is rule number one, Jared,” she said, holding up her index finger, “and guess who broke it.”
“Careful,” Jared warned. “That’s not for us to speak of. Besides, we don’t know the whole story. It’s been told for generations. Things get repeated wrong, lost in translation…”
“Was Lizeth his Taleh?” Ryan asked.
Claire shook her head. “Ramiel’s Taleh was Abel, son of Adam.”
“Abel,” Ryan repeated, stunned. “Like Cain’s brother, Abel?”
Claire nodded, uncharacteristically quiet.
Bex finished the story for her. “Ramiel was separated from Lizeth forever, sentenced to guarding the Oubliette for eternity.”
“The oobie what?” Ryan asked.
Claire chuckled.
Dad rolled his eyes.
Claire patted Ryan on the back. “Dungeons,” she said.
Grandmother stood on the other side of me, hooking her elbow around mine. She patted my arm, but she was trying to console my mother more than me. “Eden is home. That’s all that matters. We don’t need to send her back for answers. Nothing is coming.”
“Yet,” Dad said. “You know as well as I do Lucifer is going to call on every legion he has when he realizes she’s gone. And if Levi is down there—”
“He is,” I interrupted.
“Then we need to get him out, home, and form a plan. Hell is another world. It would be like us trying to search Earth for one person. The most efficient way to find him and get him out alive is our contact, who—to protect his identity, we’ll refer to as Cahl.”
Claire stifled a laugh.
“I’ll go,” I said, glancing at Grandmother. “I feel things differently now. Sharper. I can feel Levi now. I know the general region he’s in.”
“You want her to go back?” Mom cried. She hugged me to her, shaking her head. “No. No, that is exactly what Satan wants.” She looked at me. “You’re staying here, and we can figure this out together.” She looked to Grandmother. “You agree, right, Mother?”
Grandmother pressed her lips in a hard line. She knew the answer, and my mom wouldn’t listen to reason.
“I should be the one,” Bex said.
“You’re half human, Bex. You can’t bounce planes like I can,” I said. I looked to my worried family.
“So are you,” he grumbled.
“Not anymore,” I said. “I’m different. Stronger.”
Mom hugged me tighter. “What do you mean, different?”
I hugged her back, taking care not to hold her too tight. “I died.”
Dad finally allowed tears to fall from his eyes. He enveloped me then Mom, and even pulled in Grandmother, holding us tightly against him.
Not one to appreciate an overabundance of affection, Grandmother quietly and smoothly slid from Dad’s grasp and stood to the side.
Claire gave us a few moments, and then she covered her mouth. For maybe the fourth time ever, I witnessed Claire lose to her emotions. She hugged me, too, and then Ryan. Bex joined in shortly after. We were a heap of red-faced, sobbing Ryels, and Grandmother watched us with a detached expression.
Claire handed me a phone. “I found this on the ground after you… I picked it up before we left. Call your grandma. She’s worried.”
I nodded, dialing the numbers. I sought her out as the phone rang, easily picking up her essence despite the hundreds of souls between her and me. She was expecting my call.
“Eden?” Grandma Lillian answered.
“Hi,” I said cheerfully, as if I’d just arrived home from a training.
She hesitated. “Did it hurt, my love?”
“It didn’t,” I lied.
“I’m so … I’m so glad, honey. We’ve all been a mess. I’m glad they… Well, I’m just glad to hear your voice again. I love you. Come see me as soon as you can, so I can hug you,” she gushed.
“I will. I’ll come tomorrow. Love you, Grandma. So much.”
We hung up, but before I could return to a conversation with Mom and Dad, a presence nearly overwhelmed my senses.
“What is it?” Mom asked.
“Eden?” Bex said, grabbing my arm.
I looked down at his fingers around my skin, then back at him.
“You okay?” he asked.
It was Levi, that much I knew. His sorrow, his anger, his vengeance was so loud it was hard to focus on anything else. He could sense me, too, but he didn’t know why. He was searching for me, but in the wrong dimension.
“He’s here,” I said, reaching out for him.
“Who’s here?” Mom asked.
“Levi. He’s close. But he’s so far away.”
“He bounced,” Claire said, looking to my dad. “I bet he went to find her and bring her back.”
“What does that mean? He’s in Hell? Without dying? Can he … can he do that?” Ryan asked, pulling out a dining chair to sit.
“He’s the son of Lucifer,” Bex said, always the most patient with Ryan’s questions. “In theory he can, but I doubt he thinks he can just walk out with her,” Bex said.
“So why’d he go?” Ryan asked, settling in at the dining table.
“His mother, Petra,” Grandmother said, touching the bandage on her forehead. She sat, leaving an empty chair between her and Ryan. “She bore a son of Lucifer and is still alive. That speaks volumes. Maybe the Devil is scared of something after all.”
Mom sat next to Grandmother, checking her bandage and whispering questions as to her wellbeing.
“Why would Lucifer be afraid of Petra?” Claire said. “She’s just a human.” She glanced at Ryan. “No offense.”
“None taken,” he said, staring at Bex and waiting for an answer.
“She’s a mother. Satan has no power against a mother’s love, like when I protected Eden as a newborn.”
Bex thought for a moment. “Petra isn’t protected by God, Nina. Petra is likely a vulnerability, a chink in the Devil’s armor. She knows something, too much, or maybe she has something special now like Kim did, a power that could somehow hurt him or his plan.” He shot Mom an apologetic half-smile. Even after eighteen years, just the mention of Kim sent my mom into a shame spiral.
Mom sat back, and Dad was immediately at her side, holding her hand.
“So … what’s his plan?” Ryan asked.
“Ryan!” Dad yelled.
“It’s a valid question,” Ryan said, holding up his hands.
“I need to bring Levi back,” I said. “Now.”
Claire frowned. “You can feel him now? Is he in danger?”
I shook my head. “Yes, and yes. Like, more than usual.”
Claire looked to Dad. “Let her go. If Lucifer thinks Levi had anything to do with Eden’s escape, any favor he might still have is gone. Remember Shax and his rabid obsession with the book? Eden was Lucifer’s prize, one that was so precious to him that he didn’t even display her. He hid her.”
I frowned. “I wasn’t asking. I’m going.”
Mom finally spoke, staring at the ground. “Petra can’t save her son from this, Eden. What makes you think you can?”
“I can’t explain it, Mom. Levi will be left unprotected, making him the target of every demon in Hell. He’s there to save me. To bring me back to you. I can’t leave him there to die. Or worse… captured.”
“We’re about to fight another war,” Mom said.
“Okay,” Dad began, holding out his hands in front of him, palms down. “Tap the brakes. We don’t know anything yet.”
“This isn’t up for debate. No humans can reach that plane,” Grandmother said. “Except one.”
Mom stood. “I said no. We’ll … go to the warehouse. Call for Eli.”
“This can’t wait,” I said. I was sympathetic to her concern, but we were now in a race against time.
“We have time to consult with Eli before we send you back to Hell,” Mom said. She looked to Dad. “Jared, tell her.”
Dad shook his head. “She’s right, Nina. Time isn’t on our side. We need to find Levi quickly and get him back to this plane. At least then he’s not a sitting duck.”
I nodded. “How do I find him?”
“Cahl will know,” Dad said.
“Jared,” Mom warned. “I already don’t like the sound of this.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said, closing my eyes.
“What is she doing?” Ryan asked. “Why are her eyelids fluttering like that?”
“She’s locating the entrance … I think,” Claire said.
Mom put her hands on mine. “Eden, please don’t go. I just got you back.” She desperately reached out and snatched me back to the dining room, and I looked at her with a small grin. “I’ll come back. I promise.”
Mom nodded. “Don’t forget. You promised your mother.”
I smiled at her. “I won’t forget, Mom.” I kissed her forehead and then felt myself leave her side.