The average daughter respects her father. She might regard him as her hero, or she may place him so high on a pedestal that no object of her affection could ever compare. To me, my father deserved more than respect, loyalty, or even love. I had a reverence for him. He was more than Superman; he was God.
One of my earliest memories of him was watching two men cower before him in his office. I didn’t understand the purpose of their castigation, but I knew Jack Grey’s verdict was always final and never argued with. Not even death could touch him.
I knew the gentle side of him: the man who left important meetings to take my trivial phone calls, kissed my scrapes, and rewrote fairy tales so that the princess always saved the prince. Just a few months before, my father had watched with pride as I’d graduated from Providence High School and then begun my freshman year at Brown University. Now, I wondered if I knew him at all.
I shivered against the cold, turning the ring my father had gifted me for my sixteenth birthday on my finger while I waited for the bus. The gold caught for just a moment, and then I took it off for the first time in almost three years, putting it inside the pocket of my jacket. I’d already given back my car. It didn’t make sense to keep the ring.
The bench beneath me was painfully cold, but after what I’d seen and heard, it was a welcome distraction. My father wasn’t the successful businessman who ruled Titan Shipping with an iron fist. I’d learned in the last two hours that he was a criminal, a thief, a liar, and—if he was behind the deaths of the small group of police officers who’d been found near the Narraganset—a murderer.
My throat tightened, and my chest heaved. I’d hoped to get home before breaking down, but Jack’s pleas for forgiveness kept ringing in my ears.
The families in the area had little need for public transportation, specifically so late in the evening, and those who used it at all were the hired service employees who worked in the colossal residences nearby. No one was working this late at night, except for Alec, of course. I wasn’t sure what 160-pound lawyer in his five thousand-dollar suit and loafers would do to protect me, but in my father’s eyes, at least I wasn’t alone.
Alec touched my shoulder. “You’re sure I can’t drive you home, Nina? It’s cold, it’s dark, and it’s snowing.” He looked around with his dark, beady eyes, disgusted at the weather.
I shook my head. “No, thank you. I … need some time.”
He sat next to me. “It’s natural, you know, to feel pressure. And this … this is a lot for anyone. You’re a brand-new college freshman. To have this dropped on you today of all days… Well … it has to be incredibly overwhelming.”
“I can do it.”
“Of course you can. You have always loved being at the office with your father, and you’re respected.”
“Taking over for him was always the plan.”
“Nina—”
“Will he go to prison?”
“I’m very good at my job, Nina. We’ll be working around the clock to make sure he doesn’t.”
“Maybe he should,” I said. The betrayal tasted like poison on my tongue. My father had always had enemies, but I never thought I’d be one of them.
“I know,” Alec began, “I know you’re hurting, but you have to know he loves you, and everything your father does is to keep his family safe.”
I craned my neck to look at the lanky, balding man next to me. He was shivering harder than I was. “Alec? Please stop.”
“It will all make sense someday. The shareholders need a new face for Titan, and you make sense.”
“I’m eighteen, Alec. None of this makes sense.”
“You’re not a child, anymore, Nina. And you’re the only person your father trusts to run the business he built. Everyone is safer this way.”
“What about Grant? What about my mother?”
Alec shook his head. “It has to be you.”
I stared down at my hands. The peach hue had long left my fingers. I pulled my coat tighter around me. The frigid air was beginning to seep through the wool and into my bones. “You can go. I’m fine here. I’m sure you have more to discuss with Jack.”
Alec shot me a side-eye. “You know he’d rather die than to see you so disappointed in him.”
“He doesn’t get to be disappointed. He made his choices. Good night,” I said. “Thank you for walking me here.”
I stared forward, hearing Alec’s expensive loafers squashing against the wet sidewalk.
Moments later, the sloshing of bus tires approached, slowing to a stop in front of me. The sounds of commuters exiting the bus never came.
The bus driver cleared his throat to get my attention.
I heard him. I heard the door sweep open, but the numbness beneath me kept me where I sat.
“Miss?”
As the seconds passed, a sinking feeling came over me. I couldn’t move. Soon, the news of my father’s crimes would be all over the news. All of my new friends would know. In that moment, freezing on that bench felt safer than returning to campus.
“Miss?”
After I’d ignored him for the third time, the door shut, the air brakes released, and the bus slowly pulled away from the curb. I was alone again.
The snowflakes began to fall harder, filling up the triangle of light cast by the streetlamp. Snow made the world seem quiet, and I looked up, grateful for the silence. Some would touch my face or pants and vanish; some tumbled to the ground.
Watching the snow and my breath crystalize and float around me was a strange respite for what I’d just endured. The documents, the papers, the legal jargon I’d had to listen to for the past two hours was at least subdued while my skin screamed from the cold.
Jack was only questioned today, but at any moment, he could be arrested. In preparation, I was appointed the executer of his estate and briefed on my new role at Titan Shipping. I wasn’t sure how I would juggle the hours at Brown and learn the accounts, policy, and procedure at Titan. The sick feeling in my gut hadn’t left since I got the original call from my mother. I was only nineteen, and completely unprepared and incapable of the responsibility I was faced with, but I would do it for my father. For all of us.
I’d pushed down the anxiety and nausea for hours, but the stress and uncertainty finally released in the form of uncontrollable tears. Just as I did in childhood, I rocked back and forth to comfort myself. A frigid breath of air flooded my lungs to prepare for what felt like would be full-blown sobbing, but at the top of my breath a man sat next to me. I released the air in the form of an awkward cough, covering my mouth with my hand.
I’d only planned to glance, but then I couldn’t seem to look away. He was beautiful—more than beautiful. He looked at his watch, tactical but expensive. “Damn it. I think we missed the last bus.” He pulled his cell phone from the pocket of his black motorcycle jacket and dialed. His voice was deep and confident as he greeted the person on the other end of the line, but he was polite when requesting a taxi.
When he ended the call and replaced his phone, he turned to me, hesitating only for a moment before asking, “Want to share a cab?”
I folded my arms as the wind blew through, reminding me of the discomfort of winter as it broke through my coat and seeped into my skin. Despite my current situation and impending emotional breakdown, I had to get back to Brown. I still had a paper to write.
“Yes. Thank you.”
After an awkward moment of silence, the man spoke again. “Do you live around here?”
“My parents do. You?”
“My parents recently moved into the neighborhood. I own a loft closer to downtown.”
“I live in the dorms at Brown.”
“How do you like it?” he asked with a small smile. His eyes were lit with what look like subdued excitement, as if he were surprised to even be speaking to me.
“I like it.” I nodded, wiping one eye. I sniffed and looked down. “Brown has a great campus.”
He stared at me with an expression I couldn’t quite decipher and then looked forward again. He was older than me, though not by more than five or six years. I wondered if he knew who I was. There was a glimmer of familiarity in his expression, but I couldn’t quite place him.
“I’m Nina,” I said, reaching out my hand.
“Jared,” he said, taking it.
“Wow, you’re hand is really warm!” I said, letting my skin thaw against his.
“Yours is cold. Do you have gloves? If not, you can borrow mine.”
“I’m okay. The cold is … a nice distraction.”
“A distraction?” he asked.
Before I could answer, his cell phone vibrated, and he checked it again, seeming frustrated before he put it away without responding. He didn’t ask any more questions, and we sat in silence until the cab arrived.
Once the cab pulled to the curb and stopped, Jared hopped up quickly to open the door. I stood and nodded to him before sliding in. The door ajar bell dinged, and the wipers dragged across the windshield, the background music to Jared’s stunning smile as he closed the door. He jogged around the back, closing his door and settling into his seat behind the driver.
My God, he’s beautiful, I thought. It took longer than I’d wanted to stop staring, and he caught me. But he didn’t seem to mind.
“Brown University, please,” Jared said in his deep, smooth voice. “Two stops.”
“You got it,” the driver squawked.
The wind whipped outside, blowing the collecting flakes across the road like white snakes slithering ahead. I shivered at the image and pulled my coat tighter around me.
Jared turned in his seat to look behind us as if he’d heard something, but all I could hear was the engine, the heater blowing through the vents, and the tires buzzing against the road.
“Did you forget something?” I asked.
“No,” he said with a chuckle, facing forward. “Are you, uh … are you alright? I noticed back there you were upset?”
“Oh,” I said, embarrassed.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m not going anywhere if you need to vent,” he said with a small smile.
“Oh, um. Well, I just started college, and my family just put more on my plate. I overwhelmed. Guess I was just having a moment back there. It’s pretty overwhelming to think about.”
He waited for me to continue, so I did. “My father owns Titan Shipping. His business and personal lives just … I don’t know how else to say it … merged, I guess? Now, his focus is elsewhere, so he’s asked me to step up. I don’t … I don’t know I’m going to do it all. I don’t know if I can do it all.”
I waited for the expected pity in his eyes, but there was none. My relief caused me to smile, which in turn made a grin lift one side of his mouth. He had a nice face. I was sure I’d seen him in a magazine ad at some point.
He stopped grinning, instead seeming confused.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
His eyes widened, and he lunged for me. He yanked me toward him, held me to his chest, and turned. In one move, we switched places, and then headlights smashed through the passenger’s side, barreling toward us.
The cab’s fiber glass and metal crumpled, throwing us into the park adjacent to the intersection we’d just tried to pass. The tires hit the curb, launching into cartwheels over the wet ground. The back window shattered, simultaneously spraying me with glass and leaving me on the grass and snow, to go on to roll several more times before coming to a stop in the darkness beyond the streetlamps. The world around me, time, and reality blurred, but I knew I was still curled into a ball, surrounded by Jared’s warm body.
“Nina?” he grunted, beginning to loosen his grip. “You’re breathing, thank God.”
He let go of me and jerked twice, the motion sending pain shooting through my body. Two loud gunshots went off just a foot or two away, and the cry from whomever was at the receiving end of those bullets was drowned out by the ringing in my ears.
I cried out, letting the agony leave my body, even if the relief only lasted an instant.
Jared carefully adjusted me as I whimpered, making sure not to unfold my broken parts. He stared down at me, frowning.
“Nina?” he said, scanning my body. “Stay with me. Keep your eyes open.”
His blue-gray eyes were so beautiful against the night sky and falling snow, but soon the pain spread throughout my body, robbing me of any other thought.
I groaned as Jared used his cell phone to make a call. Even that made my broken parts scream, so I stayed silent. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to open my eyes or focus on anything but my shattered body.
“Claire? Ran into trouble. I need medical. Now. We’re near uh…” he looked around, “First Baptist Church on Waterman.”
He put the phone away and held me gently, looking me over. “Stay with me.”
“Holy shit, are you okay?” a man said, running up with his friends. “Tucker, call 9-1-1! Is she okay?” he asked Jared.
“She will be,” he said with a faltering breath. “She will be.”
“Is that Nina Grey?” someone from the friend group asked. “Kim! Kim!”
Kim scrambled to my side. She fell to her knees, pulling off her ridiculous hunter’s cap. “Nina?” she looked to Jared. “What happened?”
“We were T-boned,” he said, his voice breaking. He nodded in the direction of the crushed cab.
“Oh, shit! Oh, shit!” Tucker yelled. “There’s a guy! I think he’s dead! Josh! C’mere!”
Another of the boys left us to view the carnage.
“Ryan?” Kim asked. “Did Tucker call?”
“Yeah,” Ryan said, staring down at me, his eyes full of worry. He took his jacket off and covered my legs. “Is she going to be okay?”
“How bad is it?” Kim asked Jared. “Can you tell specifically?”
“Broken ribs. Broken pelvis. Broken femur and ankle. She has internal bleeding. Her spleen will have to be removed.”
“How do you know that?” Ryan asked. “Are you a doctor? Kim, do you know this guy?”
Kim and Jared traded glances, and she nodded. “Yeah. I know him.”
Sirens wailed in the distance, interrupted every few seconds by the panicked exclamations of Kim’s friends—all but Ryan, who sat near, quietly holding my hand.
“She doesn’t look good,” Ryan said. “Shouldn’t we do something?”
“You’re going to okay, Nina,” Kim said. “Hold on. They’re almost here.”
Jared leaned down to kiss my forehead, his lips as warm as his hands. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I knew something wasn’t right. I should’ve caught it… I should’ve known they…”
“They who?” Ryan asked.
My eyes felt too heavy to keep open, and I realized they were swelling shut. It became too painful to take a breath. Every muscle felt like it was spasming, every bone in pieces. I’d never been in so much pain in my life.
I was supposed to hold on, but I needed to rest. The only thing that felt good was being in the strong, warm arms of the man I’d just met. Even though my friends were begging me to stay, I fluttered my heavy eyes twice and then let them close.