BALBINE Then it’s settled, Father? I can marry M. Icarus?
MONSIEUR BERRRIER I’ve nothing against it, but at least wait until you’ve met him.
BALBINE My mind is made up.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER In any case, in less than a minute you’ll know where you are … There he is. He’s bending over the engine of the Panhard-Levassor.
BALBINE For the moment, all I can see is his behind. I like it.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER But … the de Dion-Bouton’s gone! Icarus! Where’s the de Dion-Bouton?
ICARUS I’ve sold it, Monsieur Berrrier.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER My de Dion-Bouton! I loved
it!
ICARUS So did I, but wasn’t it for sale?
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Alas, yes. So you’ve sold it. Who to?
ICARUS I can’t remember his name.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER What ábout the documents?
ICARUS We didn’t bother with such details – but here’s the money.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER It’s quite correct. Right. And now, Balbine, let me introduce my right hand, Icarus.
ICARUS Mademoiselle.
BALBINE Monsieur.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER (to Balbine) Shall I tell him everything?
BALBINE Oh yes, Father.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER You haven’t changed your mind?
BALBINE Oh no, Father.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Well, Icarus, in less time than you’d think possible, you’re going to become my son-in-law.
ICARUS With Mademoiselle?
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Don’t tell me that this calls for reflection. She has a nice little nest-egg, a dowry in pneumatic tyres and accumulators and, apart from all that, she’s a pretty little creature, isn’t she?
ICARUS The thing is, I’m already engaged.
BALBINE Oh God! (she faints in her father’s arms).
ICARUS Only I don’t particularly want to marry my fiancée, alas.
BALBINE (coming out of her coma). Heaven be praised!
ICARUS But I’ve got what they call a mistress.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER A liaison. They’re made to be broken.
ICARUS And there’s a society lady chasing me.
BALBINE Monsieur is very much in demand.
ICARUS So you see, it really does call for reflection. Monsieur Berrrier – couldn’t we talk about it some other time?
BALBINE If that’s the way it is, I’m off to visit the Eiffel Tower.
She signals to her chaperon.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Take a fly!
They go.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Icarus, Icarus, I believe my Balbine is very angry with you. You mustn’t hurt her.
ICARUS What about the others?
MONSIEUR BERRRIER My first thoughts are for my daughter – that’s natural, isn’t it?
ICARUS While we’re waiting to solve this question, I’d like to ask you, M. Berrrier, whether you might not have another job for another friend of mine?
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Another Corentin?
ICARUS A very scholarly man, a professor of symbolist poetry. He could write you some leaflets in heptasyllables.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER What an idea.
ICARUS He’d make a good impression in this decor. He has a certain majesty.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER You’re trying to turn my garage into a waxworks.
ICARUS He could talk elegantly to your upper-class customers.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Where is he?
ICARUS I sent him for a walk with his daughter.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER And do I have to take on the daughter, as well?
ICARUS The daughter, Adelaide, is none other than the fiancée I was just telling you about.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER But Balbine …
ICARUS Not a word to Balbine. I’ll find Adelaide a job somewhere else.
MONSIEUR BERRRIER I really don’t know whether I ought to hope to have you for a son-in-law or not.
ICARUS You can’t possibly know. I’ll bring you Maîtretout at a time …
MONSIEUR BERRRIER Maître Two-at-a-time …? Is that his name ?
ICARUS I didn’t invent it.