The next morning, Riggs was up early, as usual, before Winona. He told himself he wasn’t really avoiding her, but just had too much to do today to also be the sweet and devoted husband. Besides, she didn’t need that from him. Sex was all she wanted but she’d learn to do without. He had. What she really needed, but hadn’t realized yet, was for him to give her space and rest so she could grow their babies. This is what he told himself, anyway.
He worked on the north pasture, moving some cattle to the creek and then back into their pens. Sean did some tagging of the new calves. Delores drove lunch out to them, hearty beef burritos, which they ate on the back of his tailgate. Sean didn’t ask any more questions about Winona and they just made small talk. It wasn’t until later in the afternoon that he spied Delores and Winona outside in the distance and to the side of the house. He squinted, wondering what on earth they were doing.
Winona was dressed in a pair of Daisy Duke cutoffs, wearing yellow boots that looked like waders, and a western hat over her long hair extensions. Delores handed her a rake, and Winona, wearing gloves, began to drag it across the hard, bitter earth.
“What now.” He mounted Spur and made fast tracks back to the house.
Delores and Winona glanced up from their work, Delores giving him a shrug. Winona gave him a hard look that would scare off a bull and went back to digging.
Delores excused herself and went back into the house.
“What are you doin’?” he asked.
Exerting herself, for one. In the unforgiving Texas sun. Pregnant with his babies. Wearing what amounted to clothes probably from an online website for wealthy women who visited dude ranches for a kick.
When she ignored him, he dismounted, and came closer. “I said, what are you doin’?”
She stopped, one hand on the handle of the rake, and looked at him from underneath her thick lashes. “I thought you were a rancher. What does it look like I’m doin’? I’m taking golf lessons.”
“That’s hilarious. I thought you were goin’ fishin’, since those are waders.” He pointed to the yellow boots.
“They’re doing the job just fine.”
“What is it you’re tryin’ to do here? Clear the weeds? I’ll do that if it’s bothering you.”
Then he noticed the boxes leaning against the side of the house. Boxes and boxes of seeds. Green beans, peas, corn, tomatoes, strawberries, squash. Must be some of the packages that arrived nearly hourly these days. Their poor UPS guy.
“I’m planting a garden.” She now studied him as if he was a half-wit.
“Look if you want a garden, I can get one planted for you. That’s not something we do here but if it would make you happy…”
“You want to make me happy?”
“I don’t want you to work too hard, that’s all. It might not be good for the babies.”
She held up the rake and shook it. “I’m not working too hard. What I am is bored. I want to do somethin’ around here.”
“You are doin’ something important. Just…rest.”
“I don’t want to rest! I’ve had enough rest. I can rest all night since there’s no one around to bother me. During the day I need somethin’ to do.”
“Fine, then. If you want to plant a garden, I see that you’ve already got enough seeds to start a small farm. Whatever makes you happy!” Frustration and tension sliced through him like a buck knife.
This was sheer insanity. His life was hurtling out of control, expressed right now in the form of a vegetable garden. He was smart enough to know that this argument wasn’t about seeds. It wasn’t even about her deciding that it was a good idea to dig in earth that hadn’t seen a seed in decades. The issue was the two of them, trapped in a marriage because of one crazy moment. The issue was wanting her so badly his teeth hurt, but he didn’t want his life to change any more than it already had.
He couldn’t afford to let her have any more of him.
“You know what would make me happy? If my husband would have sex with me!”
Riggs turned to see that Sean was staring in their direction. Winona followed his line of vision.
“Great!” She threw down the rake and stomped up the steps and into the house.
“I’ll be right damn back!” Riggs yelled to his brother and followed her inside.
He stomped through the house, ignoring Delores in the kitchen, and going straight to his bedroom. His bedroom even if it didn’t resemble any place he’d actually live in. It was colorful and feminine. Bright and airy and he hated bright and airy! He flung the door open and slammed it shut. Locked it.
She was bent at the waist, her back to him, struggling with a wader. He swallowed at the view of her bare legs, and those creamy thighs. Then he remembered why he was here.
“Alright, Winona! You want your husband to have sex with you?” He roared. “That’s what you want?”
She turned and gazed at him from under narrowed lids, still pulling on one long boot. “I wanted that last night. Now, I’d love to strangle you with my bare hands but you’re too damn big.”
Winona lay back on the bed, threw one leg high in the air, and struggled with all her might to get that wader off. It was plastic, and so close to her thigh it was no wonder she couldn’t easily remove it. Unfortunately, her lying there, one long leg in the air, was giving him another good look at places previously hidden to him.
Because he still hadn’t seen her naked.
Knowing he should help her, but unable to turn away from this display, he continued to watch. A grin tugged at his lips, but he didn’t laugh. Yet.
“Stupid boots!”
“Try the other one.” He crossed his arms and wished he had popcorn to fully enjoy this performance. “Maybe it will come off easier.”
She actually listened to him, small miracle, and tugged on the other one. “They’re defective!”
“Too bad. It’s a real shame you’re goin’ to go through the rest of your life with waders on your feet.”
“You could help me, you know.” She rose up on her elbows. “We could always cut them off.”
Taking pity on her, he came close. Gently, he pushed her down and tugged on the end of one boot, then the other. They slipped off.
“It’s all about the angle, princess.”
She had socks on, short ones that just came to her ankles. Pink. She usually wore something pink. Today, her socks. Slowly, he peeled each one off and then brushed his thumb over the pink painted toenails. He kissed her ankle and then made his way up her leg. Her calf, the inside of her knee, her thigh. He pressed a kiss everywhere he could touch.
And she wasn’t arguing with him anymore, her entire body still.
He was kissing his way up the other leg when she moaned softly, and he looked up to see she’d gone back up on her elbows. Her head was thrown back, making her look like a cross between a porn star and a really hot farmer girl. He unzipped her cutoff shorts and slowly slid them down, swallowing hard at the sight of silky black panties.
Those came off next, and this time she spoke, somewhere between a moan and a squeak. “Riggs…um…”
“Quiet. I’m going to see you naked now.”
It had become an obsession. Late at night he’d lie in bed and picture what she looked like. He’d imagine the soft pink bud that he could now see and touch. She was a natural blonde with skin much softer than he remembered. He trailed wet kisses on her stomach, making his way up, tugging off her shirt. She had on a matching black bra and her fleshy breasts strained against the material. He unhooked and removed the bra and she lay before him totally bare.
“You’re beautiful.” His hands slid down her arms and he lowered his head to her nipples, drawing in one and then the other. “So soft.”
Immediately, she bucked against him, threading her fingers through his hair, pulling.
“Get naked,” she whispered. “I want to touch you everywhere.”
“No. This is just about you.”
He lowered his head between her thighs and didn’t stop teasing her with his tongue until she shattered.
So much for an annulment. Kim was going to kill Winona for this.
She found her breath and slowly came down to earth. She opened one eye and, yep, Riggs was still fully clothed. She wanted him exposed, too, helpless and bare, just like her. He rose, climbed off the bed, and simply studied her for several minutes, blazing heat turning his eyes a darker shade. A bulge in his jeans made it clear he was extremely connected to this moment. But it seemed that an internal struggle went on within him for several interminable seconds.
Last night, he’d turned her down. After teasing her, after promises, he didn’t come back to bed. She told herself it was for the best, because she still wanted that annulment rather than a fourth divorce. Maybe he was smarter than both of them, staying away. No maybe about it.
Still, she’d tossed and turned all night, wondering what she’d done wrong. Wondering why he kept fighting this. She wondered if she reminded him too much of his late wife, or if he’d been paranoid that he would hurt the baby.
“Oh, the hell with it.” He tore off his shirt.
His shirt and pants were discarded, flying every which way around the room, and she was rewarded with glorious male sinewy strength and muscles gleaned from hard physical labor. His taut skin was a light bronze where the sun had kissed it. This man was the real deal. A cowboy.
His hard, strong body pressed down on hers, muscles hard as marble. He smelled like leather and dust and tasted like the rich deep coffee she still craved. She wrapped her legs around him, unable to push away the sharp memory of their first time. Then the walls had been down, thinking had stopped, and she’d responded to every fleshy desire on earth. She’d wanted more of him then, wanted slow and sweet, and hoped she’d get it now. But the way they now gasped and reached for each other held that wild tinge of fierce need she’d come to recognize about the two of them.
He thrust into her, causing them both to moan, but this time he moved slowly, pumping his hips. Taking his time. She decided that if she wanted tender, if she wanted to know this man, she’d have to take charge of that on her own. Reaching for his face, she cupped his jaw and met his gaze.
“Hey, cowboy. Stay with me.”
Please look at me. Please know me. Love me.
“I’m right here, baby.”
He locked eyes with hers, never looking away until she was the one who closed her eyes first, as the wave of another orgasm hit her hard. Then he drove into her harder, deeper and faster, until he, too, climaxed spilling himself into her. Panting, she wondered why sex was like this between the two of them.
Hot and delicious and…rare.
He’d probably leave her now, done with his duty, and go back to his work. But instead he moved his weight off her and tucked her to his side.
He pressed a kiss against her temple. “Finally got to see you naked.”
“Well, geez, all you had to do was ask.”
“I’m sorry about last night. This is getting…complicated.”
“I guess so. But it’s what we both wanted.” She rolled on top and straddled him.
“No. You didn’t want this marriage. You agreed because I had you over a barrel.” He pushed a lock of sweaty hair off her face.
“Listen up. I’m only going to say this once. But…you were right.”
“Yeah? I don’t mind tellin’ you, I like the sound of those words comin’ through your lips.”
She rolled off him and he pulled her into his arms.
“Don’t get too used to it. But I needed this time. Back in Nashville, I wouldn’t have had the kind of privacy that I have here. The media outlets would be interested in me again, but for all the wrong reasons. The tabloids would probably document every pound I gained. Every inch I grew wider. You may not realize this since it’s the first time you’ve seen them, but my breasts are not this big. I’ll need new bras soon. My waist is goin’ to get wide.”
“You’ll be beautiful then, too.”
“Maybe not, but I don’t care. Whatever it takes. I just want our babies to be healthy.”
Riggs quirked a brow and a smile tugged at his lips.
“What?” she said.
“That’s the first time you said our babies. Not your babies.”
She ducked her head to his chest in order to hide her smile. “Well, they are. I know they’re our babies. You just have to understand that one’s a girl.”
“That would be my luck.”
“It sure would.” She tweaked his pec. “From what I’ve heard, Stone Ridge needs more girls. You’d be lucky to be surrounded by women. I’m going to feel so much better with Delores taking care of a little girl while you’re out in the fields.”
“You’d feel better if you were here, too.”
But she didn’t want to be here just because they had children together. Riggs would have to love her first and that wasn’t likely to happen. When she didn’t say anything to that, he went on.
“Do you think they’re both girls?”
“We don’t know if they’re identical twins, so I have no idea.”
“Guess it would be too perfect to have one of each.”
She was quiet for a long beat, picturing raising a daughter in Nashville while Riggs raised her son in Stone Ridge.
Not going to happen.
“I will tell you that all this pink is making me feel right at home.” Riggs said this in a tone dripping with sarcasm.
“I can take some of the pink out. I guess it is a little feminine.”
“You think?”
“Alright, I was punishing you. And I’m sorry.”
“No need. I gave you the bedroom.”
“Do you want it back?” She waited, giving him a chance to respond. “Because if you want to move back in here, that would be okay with me.”
He grinned and crossed his hands behind his neck. “You’ll take some of the pink out?”
“Whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
“What is it with you and pink anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your favorite color?”
“No. My favorite color is blue.”
“C’mon. You always wear at least one thing that’s pink. Today it’s your socks. From now on I’m going to guess if I don’t see you wearing any pink, it’s your panties.”
“You notice too much.”
She waited a long quiet moment, wondering if she should tell him. But right now, literally bared to him, seemed like the right time. And if he’d ever consider naming a little girl after Winona’s mother, he’d have to know something about her. “It was my mother’s favorite color. She was obsessed with it. She used to call me Pink because everything pink was precious and beautiful. Pinkie for short.”
“You’re kiddin’.”
She sighed. “I wish I was. She loved music and the color pink.”
“That’s why you always wear something with pink?”
“For a long time, it helped because I felt closer to her. Sometimes, I’d forget. There were years when I didn’t. But ever since…”
“I got you pregnant.”
“Yeah. I think about her a lot more these days.”
“Makes sense.”
She held her breath, then just came out with what had been ruminating in the back of her mind.
“I’ve been thinking that our baby must make you think about her.”
He lowered one hand to her spine and stroked gently. “Just one other time in my life when I was surprised by a baby. But other than that, everything is different. I’m ready now.”
“You must have loved her…a lot.” She’d tried to keep thoughts of Jenny away but found it impossible. She felt connected to her each time she thought of her baby.
At the same time, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear his answer. Of course, Riggs loved his young bride, probably his first love. His true love. And he’d lost her to a terrible accident which made Winona cringe every time she thought of it. Poor young Riggs.
“Of course.” He didn’t stop stroking her arm, as if he realized this would be difficult to hear. “She was my best friend.”
Wife. Lover. Best friend. Mother of his child. Winona could never compete with the ghost of this woman. She sounded like a saint.
“I’m sorry you lost them both.”
“It was a long time ago, Winona. I don’t talk about this anymore. It’s in the past and there’s nothin’ I can do to change it.”
“It’s just that I can see now why you were so worried about me and the baby.”
“It’s not the same.”
Ouch. Of course, it wasn’t the same. In one situation, he’d been young and in love. Now, they were two seasoned adults who were trapped in a marriage of convenience. For the sake of their children. Sure, they had a passionate physical connection. But if all she ever got out of him was incredible sex while she could, Winona would take it.
She couldn’t be picky. Couldn’t ask for too much even if she wasn’t used to taking scraps from a man. She didn’t think of it that way. Riggs was taking care of her the only way he knew how. Something she couldn’t discount.
Riggs interrupted her thoughts. “There’s something you should know, and I wish I’d told you sooner. We should talk.”
Everything in her stilled. We should talk. That never meant anything good. She remembered Aunt Betty’s words to her decades ago.
Sugar, we should talk.
Your poor mama didn’t plan on goin’ on to glory so soon. I want to take you with me, I really do, but I already have five children. I think it would be best if you’d stay with Leroy. He loved Mary Jo. I talked to him and he said he’ll take good care of you.
Yeah, not so much.
“It’s about my wife.” He cleared his throat. “My first wife.”
Because unlike Winona, Riggs could never say “ex.” He and Jenny had never been divorced.
“Do we have to talk about her?”
“We do, because then you’ll understand something about me.”
Winona girded her loins, ready to hear about perfect Jenny. His true love.
“Our baby. It wasn’t mine.”
It took a moment for her to absorb this statement. Then all the suspicions from Riggs made a lot more sense.
“I knew all along. I told you she was my best friend, and I meant it. Maybe we were too much alike because I thought we were always better off as friends. The romance never worked like I thought it should even though we kept trying. Stubborn, I guess. Anyway, on one of our many breakups she got mixed up with another guy, got knocked up, and asked for my help. She thought I’d make a good father and we could make a go out of a real marriage. So, we got hitched. She was more than happy to let me claim the baby as my own. And I would have loved that baby like he was my own. I was halfway there when it was all ripped away from me.”
“I’m so sorry. You’re right, I wish you’d have told me.”
“When we were sitting in that exam room with even the suggestion you might have been pregnant by someone else…all I could think was that I was about to lose this baby, too. And I don’t want to lose him…or her…well, them.”
“You’re not going to lose them. I promise you, they’re your children.”
“That’s definitely the first time you said my children.” He brought her hand up to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “What about you? Would you be with Jackson if he hadn’t still been in love with Eve?”
The question surprised her, and she met his gaze. She would have thought he’d ask about Colby, because they’d been married the longest. Even if they’d tried to quash the gossip of the embezzlement and the affair that had gone on with her publicist, some of it had still made its way to the tabloids. But that was years ago.
“It’s funny you should ask about him. Jackson was a good friend to me.”
“That can’t be all. You were lovers, too.”
She didn’t appreciate this line of questioning. She hadn’t asked such personal questions about Jenny. Of course, Winona imagined that, pregnant by another man or not, marriage meant being lovers. But Jackson lived in Stone Ridge and they’d run into each other from time to time no doubt. She didn’t want Riggs picturing them together, though she wasn’t quite sure why it mattered.
“Sorry. Is that too personal?” Riggs reached to stroke her face.
“No. Of course not. We’re both adults. Married adults. I suppose anything is fair to ask.” She cleared her throat. “I didn’t love Jackson other than as a good friend. We weren’t in love. He came along at a difficult time in my life. I was drinkin’ too much after my second divorce. Right after Jackson and I called it quits, I worked hard to clean up my life.”
“Sounds like he was important to you.”
Not exactly true. He should have been more important since she’d married him. She’d never even tried to get him back.
“No more important than you are.”
Too late, she realized that sounded as though she were discounting Riggs when she’d meant that Jackson wasn’t more important.
“Wait. I…didn’t mean that to sound that way. I meant—”
“No, it’s fine.”
“You’re both important.”
Riggs rose from the bed, though he didn’t look angry. Just detached.
“I should get back to work. I’ve wasted valuable daylight.” He shrugged his shirt on.
Wasted. She probably deserved that. “Sean will no doubt be waiting.”
“I’m glad to keep him waitin’ for once.” Dressed, he grabbed his hat and shoved it on. “Believe me.”
She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. “I’m sorry he heard me yelling.”
He ignored that. “Okay. I’ll be back for dinner.”
And he was out the door without so much as a kiss.