It’s so damned hard, being a ghost. Trying to communicate.
It’s just human nature, I suppose. We so badly want to know what lies beyond the world in which we live and breathe, but we’re also terrified of that knowledge. It’s so much easier to opt for denial, to pretend that we’re immortal. That other people die, not us.
Even people with tremendous courage, the ones who will fight to the death for a cause, who will run into burning buildings to rescue others in danger, find something frightening about examining what lies beyond the veil.
What the living don’t know is that sometimes, when you’re very lucky, there is someone waiting there on the other side to help.
Matt says it’s wrong to bring anyone into Hastings House, where I’m at my best. And he keeps trying to help me leave. But the two of them came by, and I had to help. The thing is, both of them knew.
Well, at least I was able to help that girl. And that’s what it’s all about. Helping.
I’m worried about Genevieve, though. I don’t want to see her die, but I think someone else does.
We know what’s happening in the world, Matt and I. He’s figured out how to turn on the TV, and sometimes I can do it, too. A lot of the time we don’t need to make that effort—and trust me, it really is an effort—though. The docents have it on a lot during the day anyway, and they leave newspapers lying around all the time, so we keep up with what’s going on.
That’s why Matt decided we had to try to get out beyond Hastings House and try to touch others. To help them.
It was exhausting. I seem to be able to move easily enough through the subway tunnels. I can even connect to the PATH train and get over to New Jersey. But outside of the tunnels…
It had to be done, though. We followed the tunnel under the Hudson, and then we went outside and started looking for her. I kept feeling myself fading, but Matt held on to me, and somehow kept me going. Kept me, well, alive, for lack of a better word.
It wasn’t easy, but we did it. We found her.
We found Lori Star, and she was still so scared, so lost. And what she had to tell us…
Well, it helped. And then again…
It didn’t.