The following morning Pearl opened the door to her mother’s sickroom, expecting her to be asleep. Instead, Ma sat in bed, looking outside through the open window. Her Bible rested in her lap.
“You got my bed jacket?” she asked Pearl.
“Yes, ma’am. All nice and clean, fresh off the clothes line.” Pearl walked toward the bed and handed the garment to her mother.
“Took you long enough.” Ma brought the article of clothing to her nose and inhaled. Pearl expected to be complimented on how fresh it smelled, but Ma had other ideas. “This is still damp.”
“It is?” Pearl reached for the bed jacket and squeezed the cotton until she felt a tinge of dampness on one edge. “I suppose I could have let it stay out there a little longer, but I thought you wanted it back.”
“I know you’re tryin’ real hard, and I appreciate it, but you burned my bread and forgot to put the sugar in my coffee this morning,” Ma pointed out. “You haven’t been yourself ever since you got back. It’s that man, isn’t it?”
“You mean Benjamin?”
“Of course that’s who I mean. Who else? He’s all you can think about, isn’t he?” Ma didn’t wait for an answer. “He’s a handsome one, all right. But he ain’t no good for you. Not until he gets right with the Lord.”
“I know. I’m worried about him finding trouble in town. Even though Rope A Steer is hardly as sophisticated as I imagine a big city back East is.”
“True. I know what you’re thinkin’, young lady.” Ma wagged her forefinger at Pearl. “The answer is no. He ain’t staying here with us overnight. There’s too much temptation for that. I can see in the little time you’ve been here that you’re tryin’ to do better. And, sick or not, I’m your ma, and it’s up to me to help you get back where you should be with the Lord. That means avoiding temptation.”
“But, Ma—”
“Now don’t you sass me.” She held up her palm. “I can look into your eyes and his and see that. I might be old and sick, but I remember what it’s like to be young. Just barely do I remember, mind you, but I remember. You know what your grandpa would say if he was still kickin’? He’d say we ought to work Benjamin so hard he’d be too tired to think about anything else at night but sleepin’. And speakin’ of work, where is he, anyhow?”
Benjamin was indeed late, but Pearl didn’t want to dwell on that subject. At that moment, they heard a horse’s hoofbeats. Pearl looked through the window to see Benjamin approach, looking like a fine gentleman on his borrowed horse rather than the gambler he was. Her heart beat harder upon eyeing Benjamin. Ma was right. He offered her nothing but temptation. Temptation she didn’t need.
“Is that your man?” Ma asked. “It’s about time that he showed up.”
“It’s Benjamin.” Pearl noticed the trotting horse stirred up red dust. “I’d better get the rest of the clothes off the line before they’re ruined.”
She hurried out the front door to greet Benjamin. She noticed the wind blew in the opposite direction of her clean clothes, so the dust would have little effect. Watching him hitch the horse, she summoned all her willpower to keep herself from running. Only a day had passed since he had last been to the ranch. Why did it seem more like a month? Or a year?
“Did you miss me?” he teased.
She felt her cheeks warm up. “What’s the matter? Do I look like a forlorn coyote or something?”
“Nope. You look better than that. Much better.”
She laughed. “You’re full of flattery today. You aren’t seeking shelter, running from the sheriff, are you?” She realized her question, made in jest, held a hint of fear and seriousness.
He didn’t seem to be offended. “Naw, I stayed out of trouble so far.”
“You found a room at the inn?”
He shrugged. “More like a broom closet. But it will do.”
“What were you expecting in such a small town? A fancy hotel?” She motioned for him to follow her into the house. “I promised you breakfast every morning. I’ll scramble you some eggs. Unless you’ve already eaten.”
“Not yet.” He rubbed his stomach. “Breakfast sounds good.”
Soon they entered the kitchen. “Go on and wash up now.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Benjamin said with good humor.
“I’ve already milked Pansy this morning, so she won’t need attention until this afternoon. So probably the best place for you to start your day after you eat is to see if all the fences are in good repair. Our land runs up through the creek on the south side.”
“You’ve gotten mighty bossy.” His tone sounded teasing.
“Have to be. I’m the boss.” She squared her shoulders and broke an egg into the frying pan. “I’ve got some cured bacon, too. You’d better eat a slice or two. You’ll need to keep up your energy if you want to put in an honest day’s work on a ranch, even if it isn’t much of a ranch.”
“You seem to be enjoying being bossy.” He dried his hands on the plain white towel that hung from the side of the basin.
She peered out the kitchen window and thought about how much a coach ride had transformed her. From a life where she was subject to the whims of others, to telling Benjamin what to do. The change felt good.
“So you don’t want to answer me. I reckon that dashes my hopes.”
“I’m sorry. I was caught up in my own thoughts. What hopes are you talking about?” Pearl scooped up the eggs onto a plate.
“I was hoping maybe you’d like some excitement. How about coming to town and being my partner again?”
“Benjamin, you know I can’t.” She set his plate before him. “Give me a moment and I’ll slice you some bread.”
“You mean you’re happy serving me breakfast and tending to your ma? What kind of life is that?”
“The kind of life I’m leading now.” She slackened her posture. “You wouldn’t be asking me to abandon my own ma, now would you?”
“No. I just was hoping you might be a little tired of your ma’s preaching by now. I know I was after I was with her only ten minutes. Not that I mean any disrespect.”
“I know. Ma takes some getting used to.” Pearl sat at the table. “But now that I’m home, she’s softening up a little. Why, just this morning she told me how much I’m trying.” Pearl decided to omit the criticism of her cooking that accompanied such faint praise.
“Well, that’s fine, but you still do a lot of work. Wouldn’t you like to get out of the house one or two nights a week? You could put on a fancy dress like you used to. Paint your lips pretty. Don’t women like to do those things?”
The persuasion in his voice made the prospect sound almost too good to pass up. Without meaning to, Pearl studied her hands. In a short time they had grown pink. Not too much, but enough that she could tell she’d been scrubbing pans, washing clothes, and tending to livestock. She could only guess what they, once soft and pretty, would look like in no time at all.
On second thought, she didn’t have to guess. They’d look like Ma’s. Coarse, with blue veins evident. And in years to come irregular brown spots would appear on the backs of her hands and grow larger and larger. Soon the skin was destined to deteriorate to the point where wearing a ring or bracelet would only call attention to her age and the facts of what was turning into a hardscrabble life.
Pearl shuddered.
“You didn’t answer me.” Benjamin picked up a slice of bacon.
She turned her gaze from her hands to his face. “Sure, I like pretty clothes. But this dress I have on is a lot more comfortable.”
He snorted. “That doesn’t sound like the Pearl I know.”
“The Pearl you know isn’t around anymore.”
“Is that so?” He leaned toward her, close enough that she could take in his clean yet manly scent. His nearness made her want more. But Benjamin represented a life she had left behind. A life to which she could not return.
She rose from her seat and made much ado about pouring herself a cup of coffee and him one, as well. “I know that. But I can’t live with my ma and act one way in the daytime, just to go out with you and cheat men at cards every night.”
“I’m not asking for every night. Just one or two nights a week.” His mischievous eyes were impossible for her to resist. Nearly. But she had to resist.
“No. I can’t.”
“So you’re going to bargain, are you? Can’t say that I blame you. Fact is, I admire you for getting smarter so fast.” She was only half surprised when he withdrew a box from his satchel. “Here you are. I got this for you before I left Denmark.”
Returning to her seat, she remembered the bottle of perfume he gave her at the station. “Just how many gifts did you get, Benjamin? Looks to me like you might have bought out every store in Denmark.”
“I’d do that if I thought it would make you happy. I just wanted to be prepared, Pearl. And I’m glad I had that foresight. The general store in town has mighty slim pickin’s.”
“Our needs out here are simple.”
“Judging from the goods that Simpson fellow carries, I’d agree.”
“I know adjusting to life here must be hard for you, Benjamin. Out here, our way of looking at life is different. Our lives revolve around church, not saloons. At least, my life does.” She swallowed and looked at her napkin on the table.
“So you don’t miss Sadie’s at all?”
Pearl shook her head. “But I would have missed you if you hadn’t followed me out here. I sure am glad you did.”
He looked toward her ma’s room. “I don’t think everyone shares that opinion.”
“Ma wants me to find a churchgoing man.” She looked at him plaintively. “What do you say, Benjamin? Would you give church a chance? Maybe you and I could go together next Sunday.”
“I don’t know, Pearl. I’ve done a little Bible reading, even been to socials at church a couple of times.”
“Really? You went to church?”
“Once or twice. When I was younger.”
“I always thought the people in church were nice. Don’t you think so?”
“Yep. Even nicer than most, I reckon,” he admitted.
“So what made you stop going?”
“Gambling. Whenever I stepped near any church, the preacher man would try to make me give up gambling.”
“And that made you mad.”
“No. Not really. I knew the preacher had to say such stuff and nonsense. He had to make a living just like everybody else.”
Pearl laughed even though she wasn’t sure she agreed with his logic.
“Laugh all you like, but I don’t know any other way to make a living.”
“Now you’re the one talking stuff and nonsense. You sure do know how to make a living.”
“How’s that?”
“Why, you can make a living right here, earning more than the pittance we can pay you now. You don’t realize it, Benjamin Wilson, but I have big plans for this place.”