It’s a Jungle Out There

On leaving the house you’d best say a prayer

Take my advice and don’t travel by train

As Tarzan said to Jane, ‘It’s a jungle out there.’

I’m not a man who will easily scare

But I’d rather chew wasps than get on a plane

On leaving the house you’d best say a prayer.

Give your budgie a cuddle if you dare

‘Who’s a pretty… pathogenic viral strain?’

As Tarzan said to Jane, ‘It’s a jungle out there.’

Avoid beef like the plague and the sun’s blinding glare

Alcopops slowly eat away the brain

On leaving the house you’d best say a prayer

When the sky turns purple better beware

Bacillus on the breeze and acid in the rain

As Tarzan said to Jane, ‘It’s a jungle out there.’

Don’t drink the water and don’t breathe the air

For the sake of the children repeat the refrain:

On leaving the house you’d best say a prayer

As Tarzan said to Jane, ‘It’s a jungle out there.’