Today is Not a Day for Adultery

Today is not a day for adultery.

The sky is a wet blanket

Being shaken in anger. Thunder

Rumbles through the streets

Like malicious gossip.

Take my advice: braving

The storm will not impress your lover

When you turn up at the house

In an anorak. Wellingtons,

Even coloured, seldom arouse.

Your umbrella will leave a tell-tale

Puddle in the hall. Another stain

To be explained away. Stay in,

Keep your mucus to yourself.

Today is not a day for sin.

Best pick up the phone and cancel.

Postpone until the weather clears.

No point in getting soaked through.

At your age, a fuck’s not worth

The chance of catching ’flu.