An Ordinary Poetry Reading

Tonight will be an ordinary poetry reading

A run-of-the-mill kind of affair

Nothing that will offend or challenge

No language as far as I’m aware.

The poets are thoroughly decent

All vetted by our committee

We had hoped Wendy Cope might appear

But she’s tied up more’s the pity.

And that other one, whose name I forget…

Quite famous… Recently died…

He’d have been good. But never mind,

At least we can say that we tried.

Personally, I prefer actors

Reading the Great Works of the Past

The trouble with poets is they mumble

Get nervous, and then speaktoofast.

And alcohol is a danger

So that’s been kept well out of sight

As long as they’re sober this evening

They can drink themselves legless all night.

By the way, they’ve come armed with slim volumes

Which of course, they’re desperate to sell

Otherwise, there’s coffee in the foyer

With KitKats and Hobnobs as well.

Well, I think that covers everything

All that remains for me to say

Is to wish you… an ordinary evening

Such a pity I’m unable to stay.