An Ordinary Poetry Reading
Tonight will be an ordinary poetry reading
A run-of-the-mill kind of affair
Nothing that will offend or challenge
No language as far as I’m aware.
The poets are thoroughly decent
All vetted by our committee
We had hoped Wendy Cope might appear
But she’s tied up more’s the pity.
And that other one, whose name I forget…
Quite famous… Recently died…
He’d have been good. But never mind,
At least we can say that we tried.
Personally, I prefer actors
Reading the Great Works of the Past
The trouble with poets is they mumble
Get nervous, and then speaktoofast.
And alcohol is a danger
So that’s been kept well out of sight
As long as they’re sober this evening
They can drink themselves legless all night.
By the way, they’ve come armed with slim volumes
Which of course, they’re desperate to sell
Otherwise, there’s coffee in the foyer
With KitKats and Hobnobs as well.
Well, I think that covers everything
All that remains for me to say
Is to wish you… an ordinary evening
Such a pity I’m unable to stay.