Prayer to Saint Grobianus

The patron saint of coarse people

Intercede for us dear saint we beseech thee

We fuzzdutties and cullions

Dunderwhelps and trollybags

Lobcocks and loobies.

On our behalf seek divine forgiveness for

We puzzlepates and pigsconces

Ninnyhammers and humgruffins

Gossoons and clapperdudgeons.

Have pity on we poor wretched sinners

We blatherskites and lopdoodles

Lickspiggots and clinchpoops

Quibberdicks and Quakebuttocks.

Free us from the sorrows of this world

And grant eternal happiness in the next

We snollygosters and gundyguts

Gongoozlers and groutheads

Ploots, quoobs, lurds and swillbellies.

As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,

World without end. OK?