Chapter 19

Avoiding Unwanted Recognition and Staying Safe

As you expand your brand and build stronger, deeper relationships with your audience, you may become a celebrity in the eyes of some of your fans. Because of that, it’s important to understand the safety hazards that may present themselves, and how certain important decisions you make now can affect your safety and the safety of those close to you.

Some fans will go to great lengths to get closer to their favorite celebrities. Instead of a team of hired paparazzi trying to grab a golden photo for tomorrow’s tabloids, they’re merely superfans who want a golden memory to keep and share. Unfortunately, some of these fans often cross the line.

In December 2018, James Charles, a nineteen-year old YouTuber with over fifteen million subscribers as of the writing of this book, was trending in headlines all over the world thanks to this tweet:

James let the world know he was feeling unsafe in his own home after several fans showed up at his house hoping to get a picture or catch a glimpse of the YouTube superstar.

He’s not the only one. I’ve seen similar announcements by other popular YouTube personalities, like one of my kids’ favorites, Daniel Middleton, better known as DanTDM. A young British YouTuber with over twenty-one million subscribers who creates a lot of gaming-related videos, he tweeted something similar at the beginning of 2018:

In both cases, this behavior is obviously not okay. Most of the people in James’s case seemed to be younger kids—but that makes me wonder about the parents who took them to James’s house. C’mon, parents! Don’t we look out for each other’s kids?

I don’t share these examples to scare you, but because this is a topic we must cover.

Here’s the thing: Most fans are considerate and will respect your space and privacy. Both James and DanTDM had tens of thousands of fans step up to express anger with the few people in the audience who were disrespecting their heroes. But it only takes a very small percentage of your audience to cross the line and make life difficult, or even scary for you.

Even if you don’t have millions of subscribers, you still need to take the right precautions to make sure you stay safe along the way.

I didn’t realize the importance of this until one of my fans decided to dig into my Instagram account and found my home address by geolocating some of the pictures I’d shared from my home office. Luckily, he was actually looking out for my safety and brought the oversight to my attention quickly. Soon after, I removed all of the photos from my Instagram Photo Map, which easily gave away my location for all of the photos I was taking. Since then, Photo Map has been removed from Instagram’s feature list, so this particular issue is not something you have to worry about anymore, but there are other ways people can find details of your life that you might prefer to keep private. That’s why it’s best to consider the following tips sooner than later.

1. Do not use your home address in your business, EVER.

The best practice is to always separate home and business operations as much as humanly possible. Even if you work from home, having a separate business address makes sense. You’ll be asked to provide an address when signing up for a domain name, email service provider, and other important services you need to run your business.

Unless you purchase domain privacy (also known as WhoIS privacy), did you know that the address and other information you use to register your domain name is accessible to the public? A simple search at https://whois.icann.org can reveal the address and even name and phone number of the person who registered a domain. Domain privacy ($10–$20 per year) will hide that information from the public. If you’re currently using your home address on your domain (and now would be a good time to check!), don’t worry. Either purchase domain privacy through your registrar, or use a business (non-home) address instead.

When it comes to your business’s mailing address, all business-related mail should be sent to an address that’s not your home address. Which prompts the question: where might one obtain such an address? Luckily, you have a few options:

Your local UPS Store. UPS Store mailboxes give you an address of the store and a suite number that matches your mailbox number. This was the first address I ever had outside of my own home that I still use to this day for many business-related items, especially shipping. UPS does a great job of holding packages, and it’s convenient when I pick up mail every few weeks to utilize their services to send anything I need to send. The cost of a UPS mailbox depends on the size of the box you use, but I recommend sticking with the smallest size, which runs a few hundred dollars a year.

A local coworking space that has mail and package handling. I’m a member of WeWork, a worldwide coworking space with multiple locations that I love, and most have a mail and package handling option that you can add to your membership for a monthly fee. Check coworking spaces in your local area for mail and package handling options, and make sure you’re able to obtain an address when you register for it.

Virtual office spaces. These are similar to coworking spaces but don’t usually provide the same amenities. They often have receptionists and meeting areas that can be rented, and some also offer a professional business address.

One question people often ask when trying to get a business address: Can you use a United States Postal Service (USPS) PO Box? You can for most things, but if you’re looking to register an official business address with your state in the US, they will not accept a PO Box as an official address for your business. You may use it for things like your domain name and email service provider, but even then it’s better to get something that looks more official from some of the other options above.

You may also, depending on your business structure, be required to have a real physical address for something called a registered agent. This is a person you designate as someone who can accept important paperwork about your business, like government or legal documents. Every state in the US requires that an incorporated business appoint a registered agent for the entity, and that agent must have a physical address in that state.

You are allowed to be your own registered agent, but you will be required to supply your home address to the state, not your business address—and unfortunately, registered agents and their information are indeed public information.

The workaround is appointing a third party as your registered agent. Mine is my attorney, and this is what I recommend you do too, if you have one. If not, there are third-party companies that offer such a service; search Google for “[name of state] registered agent service,” and be sure to look at a large number of results, as prices can vary widely.

2. Create rules for location sharing on social media.

We don’t have to worry about Instagram’s photo mapping feature anymore, which unknowingly made it easy for anyone to see where your photos were taken, but you do still have the option of sharing your location on every post you publish on Instagram and other social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

I share my location when it makes sense, and usually only after I’ve left. If I’m going somewhere for business, I may be a bit more lax—I’ll share the location of a conference I’m speaking at or the airport I happen to be traveling through. However, when I’m with my family, even if we’re not at home, I hardly ever share my location, and if I do, it’s usually long after we’ve left.

We’re all going to have different levels of comfort. These are the rules I’ve set for myself, but you should consider what you’re comfortable with when it comes to your privacy and safety, especially if you have family and others to consider.

And these rules don’t have to be complicated—as long as you follow them consistently. One time, a friend called me out for sharing my route via Nike’s running app. I was proud of my ten-mile run, one of the milestones in my triathlon training, and after sharing a map of the run on social media, he called me to let me know I’d just given everyone the location of my home. It was a bit scary, but he was right, and I hadn’t even realized what I was doing.

3. Make sure you don’t photograph or film these things by accident.

Sometimes, without even knowing it, you may be revealing valuable information that could compromise your privacy. When filming or shooting photography, be sure to watch out for these following items, which a person could hypothetically use to track your location:

I once filmed a drone video outside my house, and for just a split second, the license plate of our minivan was shown on screen. Two people emailed me later that day to say they might be able to find our address because of that license plate, and I believe that to be true. Of course, immediately after they told me about the situation, I removed the video from my social channels, and all was fine. Again, I’m thankful that these fans were looking out for my best interests, and that it ended up being a minor lesson I can pass on to you now.

Luckily, I’ve never had an encounter with disrespectful fans or anyone doing something out of line (although I have had my fair share of run-ins with weirdos at events I’ve attended, stories I’ll save for another day), but I’ve been getting recognized in public for a few years now.

My first encounter was in a Trader Joe’s parking lot. As I was loading groceries into my car, someone walked up to me and asked in an excited and curious voice, “Are you Pat Flynn?”

“Yes . . . ” I said nervously until I was greeted with a barrage of praise for my podcast and work. I shook his hand, then sat in the car wondering what the heck had just happened. It was cool, but also scary at the same time. It was surprising, and it made me realize that I mattered to people. A ton of feelings all wrapped into one encounter—and I never even caught the person’s name.

One of my favorite encounters happened at a Cold Stone Creamery while waiting for ice cream with my family and in-laws. Out of nowhere, a woman came up to me and told me she was a raving fan and loved everything I did, and even that I’d helped change her life. After she left, the look on my in-laws’ face was priceless—I think it was a mixture of “Who the heck was that?” and “Who the heck did our daughter marry?”

At events, the recognition is dialed up quite a bit. Because many of my fans attend the same conferences where I speak, sometimes it’s hard to even walk through the hallways without getting bombarded with attention. I love it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. I always do my best, however, to talk to every single person I can. I once stayed in the halls at an event for five hours straight to say hello to everyone waiting in line to chat. I do feel drained when it’s all over, and to get me back into my energy zone, as an introvert, I have to lock myself in my hotel room for a few hours or the rest of the night, get under the covers, turn on Netflix, and just escape.

All this is to say: Even if you don’t think it’ll happen, it could, and I want you to be prepared if it does. Use common sense, and most of all, enjoy the attention! Be proud of it! You might feel awkward that people care about you so much, but they do for a reason. Most likely they love you for what you’ve given them, whether it be inspiration, hope, guidance, laughter, or entertainment. Celebrate what you’ve accomplished and who you’ve been able to make an impact on. That’s what I remember each time someone comes up to me at an event or in public: not that I’m this amazing celebrity everyone should know about (because I’m not), but that my work allows me to help people, and that motivates me to help even more folks who may need what I have to offer.

Just remember, as you grow, stay proud but grounded, and don’t let it get to your head.