The day of Rachel and Jacob’s wedding dawned gray with a cool drizzle. Soon the roads and fields surrounding the Miller farm would be covered with buggies. This was a big day in Miller’s Crossing. Rachel and Jacob had a lot of family members who’d be attending, besides their friends and neighbors in the surrounding communities. From what Lizzie had heard, they were expecting almost five hundred people to show up. She’d heard about weddings where over one thousand people came to join in the celebration, so she supposed this wedding might be considered small compared to that.
She imagined if she were to have a wedding of her own, it wouldn’t be anywhere near that size. The image of Paul standing tall and handsome flitted through her mind. Lizzie realized she had a long way to go as far as her feelings for him were concerned. These feelings of love were so new and fresh. A part of her wanted to embrace the sensation, while another part of her was so scared by the notion, she didn’t know what to do. He’d been so kind to her over these past weeks. She looked at the spot where she’d put the money he’d brought her. The small basket sitting on top of her dresser held the future of her family. She needed to bring him more of her artwork. She decided after the wedding was done that she’d make plans to go into town to his shop.
Aware that it was getting late, Lizzie ran her hands along the front of her best Sunday dress, making sure there wasn’t a wrinkle to be seen. She ran a brush through her hair and then took great care to wind it up into a bun at the back of her head. After that she carefully pinned her prayer kapp on her head. The rich smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted upstairs. She headed down to join her family for their morning meal.
Her vader sat at the head of the kitchen table and looked up as she came into the room. His bushy eyebrows came together. “Getting a late start, aren’t you, Lizzie?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, heading to the stove to replace his second cup of coffee with some herbal tea.
His last doctor’s visit had gone quite well. But he’d been warned about his caffeine. He needed to cut back.
Vader eyed the teapot. “Lizzie, I hope that’s not for me.”
Turning her head, she looked over her shoulder at him. “And what if it is? You heard what the doctor told you.”
“Ja. But I will make do with less coffee before I ever switch to that.”
Resigned that she couldn’t change his mind, she set the teapot off to one side on the counter. Mary and Aaron came in to join them. She thought her sister looked a bit pale, so she opened the narrow cabinet next to the stove and pulled out a box of ginger tea bags. After grabbing the teapot, she placed a bag inside and then poured hot water from the kettle over it.
While the tea brewed, she said to her sister, “Come. Sit, Mary. I’m steeping some ginger tea I think might do you some good.”
Letting Aaron hold the chair out for her, Mary sat. “Danke. These babies are already making their presence known. Can you get me some dry toast? Sometimes that helps with this morning sickness, too.”
Mamm walked behind Lizzie, carrying a slice of toast on a white plate. “This should do the trick.”
Grabbing a cup of tea for herself, Lizzie joined the family at the table. Her vader bowed his head and began the morning prayer.
“Lord, danke for this day. Danke for the food on our table. We are grateful for the bounty You’ve bestowed upon us, not only in our food, but in our growing family. May You bring blessings upon Rachel and Jacob on what I know will turn out to be a fine day. Continue to guide us all in the way You see fit.”
“Amen,” Lizzie whispered.
Paul stood with a group of his friends, watching the buggies roll into the yard. For over an hour he’d been waiting, looking for the right one. The problem was the buggies for the most part looked the same and, in a crowd as large as this one, it was going to be hard for him to pick out Joseph Miller’s. The drizzle from this morning had given way to a sunshine-filled afternoon. The dark clouds had dissipated, leaving behind a sky as blue as the ocean.
From his vantage point Paul took in the large food tent placed in front of the barn. Alongside that was a rented food trailer. The smell of the wedding roascht filled the air. The roasted chicken and vegetables would continue to cook until it was time to serve the throng of people. Then the tables would be laden with the chickens, potatoes, carrots, celery and wedding cakes and pies.
Ben jostled his arm, bringing Paul’s attention back to the line of buggies along the roadway.
“I think that’s the one you’ve been waiting for.” He nodded toward the Millers’ vehicle.
Paul caught a glimpse of Lizzie through the window of the back seat of the buggy top and gave a wave. Paul watched as Joseph followed the direction of one the neighbor boys, driving almost all the way down to the end of the second row before finding an opening to park in. Joseph helped his wife and then Mary down from the buggy. Lizzie came next. The family came toward him, and he saw the women carrying their wedding gifts. Paul felt a bit of pride well up inside knowing that Lizzie was carrying the recipe box he’d made.
“Good afternoon, Paul,” Lizzie’s vader said, stepping out in front of his family to greet him. “We’ve a fine day for this celebration.”
“Ja. That we do, sir.” Paul’s gaze met Lizzie’s. He couldn’t help but notice how pretty she looked today. She wore a dress he’d seen her wear to church services. The light blue color matched her eyes. Her honey-colored hair was up in a neat bun, underneath her prayer kapp.
“There’s a lot of people here,” Lizzie commented. “And even a few Englischers.”
Paul saw the shadows of wariness in her eyes. She stepped back. His instincts made him want to reach out to her, to tell her not to worry, that he’d protect her from whatever she was afraid of. She ran her hand up along the right side of her face, her fingers skimming the scarred area. She didn’t need to hide herself from others. He wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her. He needed to assure her that he’d always protect her, no matter what.
Except, if he were to be honest with himself, he knew he couldn’t always be there to protect her. The one day she’d needed him the most, he’d been too late. Too late to save his friend David and too late to keep Lizzie from harm’s way. Paul vowed he would continue to do his best to give Lizzie the life she so deserved.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Lizzie’s vader watching them. Paul gave Joseph a nod and then started to walk toward the festivities. He continued to say hello to those he knew, but his attention never wavered from Lizzie. He wanted to grab hold of her hand. But he knew it wouldn’t be proper to display his affections in public. His thoughts filled with the memory of their time together up on Clymer Hill. The day had been perfect for a picnic, and watching her paint, he’d been amazed at the talent she possessed.
They entered the wedding tent, where Paul joined his family. Lizzie’s family sat on the benches in the row across from them. They all settled in for the three-hour ceremony.
The congregation began to sing the opening hymns as Rachel and Jacob were led off to a room with the bishop and ministers for their time of Abroth, admonition and encouragement. After they returned, the bishop preached a sermon about love and faith. When it came time for the Bible reading, Paul quieted, preparing his mind and heart to hear the words.
After Rachel and Jacob came forward and answered their vow questions, there came the closing prayer and then they were pronounced Frau and Mann. After the service Paul ran to catch up with Lizzie but saw her being swept away by Sadie and a few other women. She laughed at something Sadie said. It warmed his heart to see her so happy.
He joined his bruders under the branches of a large oak tree. Jebediah Troyer, one of the church elders, came up to him.
“How is your business faring, Paul?”
“The shop is doing better than I anticipated,” Paul answered, fighting the urge to rub his hand across the back of his neck. He knew the elders had been watching the situation between him and his vader.
“I’m glad to hear that. You keep up the good work. I know your family will come around to your way of thinking eventually. We are praying for that.”
Paul was surprised that the elders felt this way. Normally they sided with the head of the family in situations like this.
“But if it doesn’t work out that way, you will return to your vader’s shop.”
He knew better than to speak openly at a wedding about his thoughts on the Burkholder Furniture Store. Paul thanked the elder and turned as Jacob and Rachel caught his attention. The bride, wearing a new white kapp, and the groom, with his wide-brimmed hat—signaling that they were now a married couple—wandered around the masses of people. They tapped the single young men and women on the shoulder, pairing them off for the meal. When they came to him, Paul shook his head. The only woman he wanted to share his meal with was Lizzie. He wouldn’t feel right turning down their pairing, but hoped he wouldn’t have to be put in the position of declining.
Rachel bubbled with happiness. “Paul, Jacob and I want you to come with us.”
Taking hold of his arm, she tugged him along to the grassy clearing, where another dining tent had been erected. “I can’t...”
“You don’t even know who we’ve picked for you,” Jacob said, slapping him on the back.
He ducked his head and entered the tent. Lanterns hung from the sides of the tent and lining the tables cast a warm glow, lighting the way. The air smelled of the wedding roascht and wildflowers. There were Queen Anne’s lace, lavender and fern fronds filling the dozens of canning jars. Outside the tent, the kinder chased the fireflies, hoping to catch a few to put in their empty jars. His gaze swung back into the tent filled with young couples. Some looking happier than others about their handpicked tablemates.
Then he saw her. Standing on the other side. She had her hands folded together in front of her. Her head was a bit downcast. At this very moment Paul wanted to do away with this silly tradition of walk-a-mile among the youngies. Unfortunately this wasn’t his wedding.
“Come.” Rachel beamed up at him.
She led him right to Lizzie.
“Paul!”
He heard the relief in her voice and watched as some of the tension fell from her face. He cocked his head to one side, saying, “Lizzie. It looks like we’ve been paired off.”
“Ja.”
Taking her by the elbow, Paul led her to an open spot at the long row of tables. Leaning down, he said in a soft voice, “I’ve been wondering where you got off to.”
“Sadie and I went inside the haus to leave our wedding gifts. I was hoping to avoid this.”
He chuckled. “Me, too. At least they put us together. I would have been angry if you’d been put with another man.”
“I wouldn’t have accepted,” she assured him.
“I’m glad we’ll be together.”
“I’ve played at this game plenty of times before, Paul. And mostly I’ve been alone or left to eat with my parents.” She gave a shrug, adding, “It’s no big deal, but I like this go-round much better.”
Paul felt a tightening in his chest. He hadn’t meant his words to be hurtful. In all the years he’d stood by and watched Lizzie grow from a young girl into a young woman, it hadn’t occurred to him the pain she’d been enduring. In a society that valued marriages and family, it was difficult to be single.
“I’m sorry if I sounded insensitive.”
“You weren’t being insensitive. You were being honest. I like honesty.”
The tent filled with more couples. Pretty soon the seats across from them and on either side of them became occupied. Some of the people he recognized, and others he’d never seen before, as they came from neighboring church districts. He watched as, one after the other, their tablemates averted their eyes from Lizzie. He felt her stiffen when a particular young man outright made a sour face in her direction.
Seeing firsthand what she’d been enduring for years sickened him. He thought he might have to ask the stranger to leave the table. Lizzie must have been sensing his thoughts, because she gave him a warning look and a quick shake of her head.
“I could ask him to leave.”
“Nee. Don’t bother. I’m fine, really.”
Still he saw the hurt in her eyes and watched as she started to shield her face with one hand. He wasn’t having any of this. This was a festive and joyous day, and she deserved to enjoy herself. Grabbing hold of her hand, he pulled her off the seat.
“Come on.”
Leaving her napkin behind, she left the tent with him. He found them a quiet spot at the edge of the yard, away from prying eyes.
Tugging her hand out of his grip, she stood still. He suddenly realized his abrupt actions might not have helped matters.
“Paul, it’s all right. I’m used to that sort of thing.”
“You shouldn’t have to be used to it.” He scuffed the toe of his boot along the ground in front of him. “I never understood until today.”
“Few people do. But I don’t want people to like me or want to be with me because they feel sorry for me, either.” Folding her arms across her chest, she meandered around to the other side of the pine tree they’d stopped at. “Don’t ever feel sorry for me.”
He heard the hurt and a bit of determination in her voice and felt like the worst kind of the worst.
Laying his hand against the rough bark, he dragged it along as he joined her on the other side. Up until this point it had been a beautiful day. He didn’t want to ruin it with the silly notion that he was sure Lizzie was thinking, that somehow he was spending time with her out of pity. He stopped moving when he came to her. She had her face turned downward, her eyes half-closed. Paul could see the scar on her cheek, except to him it was no longer a scar.
It was a part of the woman he loved.
“Elizabeth Miller, I don’t feel sorry for you. You are one of the bravest, most courageous people I know. I had no idea, all these years, what you must have suffered at the hands of strangers, at the hands of those who know you,” he added, thinking about the words her vader had said to him that day, months ago, on their front porch.
Joseph had been wrong to assume that Lizzie couldn’t find love on her own. Saying that his daughter’s appearance would keep her from finding a husband had been downright wrong.
Oh, Paul knew the man had said those things out of desperation, but still Lizzie deserved so much better than that. From the distance came the sound of singing. He gazed down at Lizzie, rubbing his thumb over her chin.
“Do you want to try again for something to eat?”
“Nee. I’m not hungry.”
He tipped his head to the side, “Lizzie, don’t let them keep you away.”
“I’m not. I had a snack when Sadie and I dropped our gifts off, before the ceremony started.”
“You’re not just telling me that to make me feel better?”
“And what if I am?” she admitted.
“Well, I’d be sad that we didn’t get to share Rachel and Jacob’s wedding feast together.” Pushing away from the tree, he offered, “Let’s go see if there’s any food left.”
At that very moment Paul’s vader approached them with two men flanking him. Paul recognized Silas Yoder, and from the looks of the other man, who was dressed in a white collared shirt and tan pants, Paul knew him to be an Englischer.
“Here you are! I want you to meet someone.” His vader took hold of his arm, taking him away from Lizzie.
“This is Kurt Reynolds, a friend of Jacob’s vader. He went by your shop today.”
The man pushed a pair of sunglasses on top of his head, saying, “Yes, I stopped by on my way out here for the wedding. I didn’t realize you’d be closed on a Thursday.”
“Ja. We close our businesses on wedding days,” Paul explained.
He didn’t want to talk business. He wanted to spend time with Lizzie. She’d stepped off to the side to let him carry on this conversation.
“I’ve been hearing great things about your furniture. I also heard that you have a limited selection of watercolors.”
Lizzie gasped.
Paul covered her reaction by taking the gentleman by the arm and leading him farther away from her. He didn’t miss his vader’s raised eyebrows. Clearly he was surprised to hear Paul was selling art in addition to his furniture. Perhaps if the man gave Paul’s venture more attention, he wouldn’t have to be hearing about this. Paul tried his best to keep his frustration out of this conversation. Besides, this day was supposed to be about happiness and love, not business. He wanted to be with Lizzie.
He wanted to tell her he loved her. Today would have been a perfect day to broach the idea of a real courtship between them. First, though, he wanted to tell her everything about the day David died. Because deep in his heart Paul knew they couldn’t begin any sort of a life together until the past was laid to rest.
Suddenly he noticed that she was pulling away from him. He saw her walking off to meet Sadie Fischer. Paul started to call to her, but she turned to him, tilted her head ever so slightly and smiled.
He smiled back. The moment was interrupted by the sound of the Englischer’s voice.
“Would it be all right if I stopped by your furniture shop tomorrow?” he asked.
Paul snapped his head around to give the future customer his attention. “Ja, ja. You can come by tomorrow. That would be gut.”
“Good. I’ll see you then.”
The man held his hand out, and Paul shook it. Over the top of the man’s head, he watched Lizzie join Sadie, say something in her ear and then walk off with her.
What could they possibly be talking about?