“Lizzie! I’ve been looking all over for you. Do you want to come join in the singing with me?” Sadie came bounding across the lawn to meet up with her.
Her friend’s bright personality always made her feel better. At some weddings, hymns would be sung after the ceremony while the presents were being opened or as an activity late into the night. And normally she enjoyed singing the hymns, but not tonight. Paul had invited her to go with him and they’d been interrupted. She found that she didn’t want to go with anyone else.
“Would you mind taking a walk with me to the cake tables instead?” she asked Sadie.
“I’ve been seeing some delicious slices of cake being passed around. I hope there is at least some left.”
Leaving the men to talk business, Lizzie fell into step alongside her friend.
“I feel like it’s been days and days since we’ve seen each other.”
Nodding her head, Lizzie agreed. “Ja. I’ve been busy feeding a lot of workers who are helping with the harvest on the farm, and working on my watercolors. And my sister came home with news that she’s having twins.”
“Congratulations. You’re going to be an aenti. I’m so happy for you and your family,” Sadie said, giving her a warm hug. Then, taking a step back, she added, “I’ve heard some other news.”
“What might that be?”
“That you have been spending a lot of time with Paul lately.”
Lizzie nibbled her lower lip. Of course it would be silly to think that in a town this size anything could be kept quiet.
“Tell me this means the two of you are in a courtship.” Sadie clapped her hands together.
“We are not. But...”
“Oh, but what, Lizzie? There should be no buts allowed when it comes to you and Paul being together.” In her exuberance Sadie spun around. “You deserve to be happy.”
Lizzie couldn’t agree more. Laughing at Sadie, she commented, “I wish I had even half of your confidence.”
Sadie stilled. “Do not be fooled, my friend. There are things that continue to elude me.”
“Like what?”
“Like why you insist on taking so long to get to the cake tent.”
Sadie linked her arm through Lizzie’s. They laughed and chattered the rest of the way across the yard, finally entering the area where tables covered with white tablecloths were laden with platters of cakes and cookies. After picking up a slice of cake with blue frosting, she followed Sadie back outside. They found an empty space at one of the tables.
They dug into their cakes. When they were finished eating, Sadie asked, “Do you think your vader would allow you to be courted by Paul?”
Lizzie shrugged. “I’m not sure. These feelings are still so new to me. And I haven’t told Paul how I feel yet.”
“You need to do this. Soon. Paul is a fine man and he could be snatched up by someone else,” Sadie warned, waving her fork in front of her face. “Maybe Paul will get his letter to prove his good standing in the church from the bishop and then he can ask for your daed’s blessing.”
She knew Paul had been baptized and that getting the Zeugnis was merely a formality. “I don’t know. I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.” Lizzie tried not to panic over the idea of Sadie even suggesting that Paul might find another woman.
“I’ve known for a long time that Paul is the right one for you.” Poking the end of her fork at her, Sadie, added, “Trust what is in your heart.”
Lizzie thought that might be easier said than done. Sadie wanted to wander around the wedding, visiting with friends and family, but Lizzie didn’t feel up to it.
“Go ahead, Sadie. I’ll wait for Paul.”
“If you’re sure.”
Lizzie gave her a nod. “I am. Now run along.”
Sadie had always been the more social one between the two of them. Even as young schoolgirls, once they’d gone out to the playground, Sadie had been the one to round everyone up for games, while Lizzie had lingered on the edge of the circle. She didn’t mind that her friend went off to socialize. Lizzie enjoyed sitting here, watching everyone around her. Knowing that Paul wasn’t far away. He’d be coming back to find her soon. And if her guess were right, he’d be bringing news of a big sale with him.
Lizzie had a feeling that the Englischer wanted to purchase some of Paul’s furniture. She didn’t mind waiting, though after a while she did tire of sitting alone and decided to walk about the grounds, stopping to say hello to her brother-in-law Aaron’s mother, Sara Yoder, who was busy talking to some friends. Lizzie paused to listen to their conversation. They were discussing how large the gathering was and how happy they were for Rachel and Jacob.
Though Sara Yoder wouldn’t be discussing Lizzie’s sister Mary’s impending birth, Lizzie knew the news was a joyous time for both of their families.
As Sara Yoder and the other women went on about the wedding, Lizzie believed in her heart that this is what the Amish community was best at, welcoming new family members into the fold. Lizzie knew that, no matter what, she would never want to live anywhere other than right here. No matter what happened between her and Paul, her home would always be in Miller’s Crossing.
Leaving the women’s circle, she walked up a small rise, turning around at the top. Below her lay the wedding. Buggies lined the back field in rows, three deep. The canvas walls of the tents had been rolled down to help keep the bugs out. Through the plastic window cutouts, she could see the lovely lanterns all lit up. It looked so pretty. She tried to imagine what it would be like to have a grand wedding day such as this for herself. Lizzie knew it would all be too much for her.
She wouldn’t mind a simple wedding ceremony with her family and close friends attending. As the singing continued and the kinders ran in circles on the lawn, Lizzie allowed herself to dream about her wedding day. Of course the mann she’d pick would be Paul Burkholder. Not only was he a gut friend, but he was kind and caring. Now that she thought about it, he’d always been a part of her life. And she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
She wandered down near the barn, with the fireflies buzzing around her. Lizzie let out a sigh. There must be a million stars shining in the sky tonight. She had to find Paul to show him this glory. Suddenly she was startled by a sound coming from the bushes.
Paul walked toward her out of the darkness.
“Oh, it’s you, Paul. Did you have a gut meeting?”
“I did.” He came closer and put his hands on her shoulders.
She felt his strength and warmth emanate through his hands, and she felt his...love. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Paul let go. She gave him a questioning look, wondering what this was all about.
“The man, Mr. Reynolds, he wants to come by the shop tomorrow. He’s interested in the dining room set. You know, the one I’ve had on display since I opened?”
She nodded.
“And, as you know, he’s heard about your art. As it turns out he knows the person who bought the first piece. I guess they’ve been raving about you.”
“Me?” Lizzie felt panic rising. No one could know she was the artist. No one.
Paul immediately grabbed her hands, holding them in his. “I promise no one except for myself and Sadie know you’re the artist. What I should have said is they are raving about the anonymous artist.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s better. Well, I’m pleased this day has turned out well for you and for me.”
“The day has been better than okay, Lizzie. With the sale of the dining set and your artwork, some of the burdens are being lifted from us and our families. I’ve been thinking this could be a good time to reconsider our relationship.”
The expression on his face made her laugh.
“You’re joking!”
“Actually I’m quite serious about this. I’d give you more time to think about this, but I think you’ve had enough time already.”
“Not even courting me yet, and here you are, bossing me around.”
“I would never.” He picked up her hands, brought them to his lips and kissed the top of each one. “I’ve waited a long time for us to court and I need everything to be just right.”
Her eyes widened. Was he going to kiss her on the lips? Tonight she’d be perfectly content with the affection he’d been showing her. But the thought of his mouth on hers made her feel like nothing else on earth. Not even the joy she took from her paintings and watching the sunset could compare. He came closer, his arms grazing hers. She looked up into his eyes and once again felt overwhelmed by the love she saw there.
She so wanted to have the courage to pour her heart out to him, to say the words he most wanted to hear. But she didn’t want to give her heart to him only to have her vader take all of this away if he didn’t approve of a courtship between them.
Then he said, “I’d like to come by your house tomorrow. I have something I need to tell you.”
“Ja. I’d like that,” she answered as a tiny bit of doubt managed to creep back in.
Lizzie did her best to fight off any uncertainty about their relationship, deciding that loving someone could be a hard and sometimes unpredictable part of life.
“The night is getting on. Let me get you back to your parents.”
Lizzie let him hold her hand as they walked back to the cake tent. She tipped her head back one last time, wanting to memorize the beauty of the night sky. The stars sparkling way up in the heavens gave her hope. A star shot across the inky sky.
“Paul! Did you see that?”
“I did.”
She squeezed his hand, looking forward to what tomorrow might bring.
Sitting on the edge of his bed, Paul bowed his head in morning prayer. Afterward he rose, took his hat from the peg behind his bedroom door and walked downstairs to the kitchen. His mamm stood at the stove, stirring a pot of what smelled like bread and butter pickles. The tangy odor tickled his nose.
Looking up at him, she said, “Good morning, Paul. Do you have another busy day planned?”
“I do.” He didn’t explain further.
After pouring himself a cup of coffee, he leaned a hip against the counter while he sipped the dark brew.
“Your vader tells me that your shop is doing well. He said an Englischer is buying one of your dining room sets.”
“Ja, he is.”
Setting the stainless steel spoon on the spoon rest, his mamm turned to give him her full attention.
“This rift between you and your vader... It’s going to end soon.”
He couldn’t tell if that were her wishful thinking or a command to make it happen. Either way he planned on dealing with his vader later today. When it came to stubbornness, the two of them were evenly matched. Knowing this estrangement had not been easy on his mamm made him realize he needed to fix the situation. Soon.
But first things first.
His mamm ended the silence. “Let me make you some eggs before you head out.”
Putting his coffee cup in the sink, he declined his mamm’s offer to cook him breakfast. “Danke, Mamm, but I’ve got a lot going on this morning.”
She put her hands on her hips, giving him a stern look. “You’re going to skip breakfast? You’ll be starving by noontime.”
He dropped a kiss on her forehead and he said, “I’ll be fine, Mamm.”
Putting his hat on, Paul headed out the door. He went into the barn, and after hitching the mare to the buggy, climbed up into the seat and started out to the Miller house. Though he’d rehearsed in his head what he wanted to say to her a hundred times, to actually tell her the things in his heart and on his mind made him very nervous.
He’d never felt this way before; the sensation that his stomach was all tied up in knots had him shifting on the seat. He prayed one more time, this time asking Gott for strength. Taking a deep breath, he blew it out as he made the final turn into the Millers’ drive. He spotted Lizzie on the front porch, sitting next to her sister. Lizzie had been so happy when she’d told him that her sister would be having twins. One day he wanted to have a family of his own.
He wanted to have a family with Lizzie.
Stepping down from the buggy, he looped the leather reins over the hitching post next to the house. Squaring his shoulder, he climbed the steps to greet Lizzie and Mary.
“Paul Burkholder, did you know my sister has a talent as an artist?”
He looked at Lizzie, who shook her head.
“I may have heard a rumor. Good morning, ladies.”
He noticed a slight blush creeping over Lizzie’s delicate cheekbones as she acknowledged him. “Good morning, Paul.”
Dropping her brush into a canning jar filled with water that looked as if it had been clouded with several colors, she turned to look up at him, saying, “Aaron is out in the fields with Vader, and Mamm went into the village with our neighbor Mrs. Meyer to pick up some prenatal vitamins for Mary. I decided to put some more work in on the picture I started a few weeks ago.”
He walked in front of Mary and stood behind Lizzie, looking over her shoulder. His heart clenched when he saw the image of the barn. The fine lines of the building set against the backdrop of the summer field tugged at him. The barn doors were cracked open just enough to see the darkness inside the building. He noticed that Lizzie had added in a lilac bush on the right side. Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed there wasn’t one there. It struck him then. She’d painted this scene as she’d remembered the setting from that long-ago day. With each stroke of her brush, Lizzie managed to pull a peaceful beauty out of a day marred with tragedy.
He was in awe of her talent.
“Hey. Can you take a break?” Paul inquired.
“Mary, will you be okay if Paul and I take a walk?” Lizzie asked.
“Actually, if it’s all right with both of you, I’d like to take Lizzie for a ride back up to Clymer Hill.”
His mention of their picnic spot brought a sudden smile to Lizzie’s lips.
“Let me put these things back in my room,” Lizzie said, gathering the painting and her art supplies.
As soon as Lizzie went inside, Mary said to Paul, “I need you to be careful where Lizzie is concerned. She’s been through a lot in her short life. I don’t want to see her hurt again, Paul.”
“I would never hurt her.”
“I understand. But since there is no official courtship between you, you must know how fragile she can be.” Mary shifted her weight in the rocking chair.
“Do you need me to get anything for you?” he offered.
“I’m fine, danke. One more thing. My sister has led a very sheltered life. Even in the short time that I’ve been home, I’ve seen the changes in her. Changes for the gut. Please don’t do anything to ruin that.”
Paul would never do anything to intentionally hurt Lizzie. He knew that Mary meant well, still it bothered him that she would think that he was the sort of man who would lead a woman on and then walk away. If Paul had his way, he would never leave Lizzie. Ever.