Chapter 33

“Well,” said Johnny. “I thought that went rather well.”

Johnny and I were once again walking Robert. It was a convenient chore that allowed us to converse in private while making sure that Robert remained reasonably well behaved. The morning was splendid, with not a cloud in sight. We felt uplifted after the dark matters of the night before. Johnny was also delighted that there was no reason to suspect him in having a hand in the peculiar dreams of our guests and that his worst fears of murder and mayhem had not come to pass. We were approaching the woods to the south of the house when Johnny said, “So you do remember what happened last night.”

“I think so. It came flooding back to me when Elsa said the word demon. What I do recall is more sensations and feelings than specific details.”

“Why don’t you tell me what you can remember, and I’ll fill in any blanks.”

“Fair enough. I remember quite clearly our presummoning workup. Afterward, we sat down on the couch. You were on my left, with Robert sitting between us. The only light present was from the candles. We started to recite the verses. Nothing happened at first, and I was pretty sure nothing would. As we progressed through the reading, however, I thought that I might have been a bit premature in my assessment. Something had begun. I could feel it, and I began to get nervous. I felt out of sorts. Our location had somehow changed. We were still there in the house on the couch, but outside, the world had shifted, and time was running strangely. It was not the past or the future but a different time altogether. I don’t know. I really started to freak out at that point.

“The sensations were so different from what I expected, and from what I had ever experienced. I think we paused at that point and looked at each other. As we did so, I looked past you into my room. The door was open, and I could see out the window. It was dark, but the sky had a hazy glow, like when the moon is near full. I saw tree branches outside my window, which was impossible. There are no trees close to the house. That disoriented me even more. The rest of what I remember is sketchier still, I’m afraid. I think I asked if we could stop, but it was too late for that. Something else was there in the room with us. I felt it rather than saw it. Frankly, I didn’t dare look up. I kept my gaze down to read out the verses. I could have imagined it. I figured we had to get through them since there were several paragraphs that seemed important, like the ‘no bodily harm’ clause and a few others. I was barely hanging on. Once I had made it through those, I felt a bit of relief, and we had a drink of water. I looked around to see outside, but the door to my room was closed. This jolted me because I was sure it had been open.

“Nothing seemed stable anymore. I think you asked your question then and received a bizarre answer that the ‘Eye of the Moon’ was closed. I thought that was so typical. How could we have possibly believed we would get a straight answer from a demon, of all things? After that, the situation deteriorated rapidly. Perhaps we asked another question about the answer and that voided our contract? It’s possible, I suppose. Another bargain was made, I think. What exactly, I don’t know.

“The next thing I recall was looking into other people’s heads. I had a vision of Bruni. We were naked in each other’s arms in her bed. I visited Elsa. Her head was filled with erotic fantasies. I saw the baron, but he was unreadable, as was Stanley. I felt the love of your parents for each other. I sensed the loneliness of Malcolm Ault.

“There were other impressions, but I quickly became confused as to whose they were because they were coming at me faster and more vividly. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that the exit clause was needed fast. Perhaps I tried to read it. I don’t know. After a time, I sort of succumbed to the onslaught of images I was receiving by passing out. I can recall nothing else until I woke up. That’s pretty much it. If I didn’t know better, I would say I had consumed some serious hallucinogenic, but to my knowledge, I had not. How does that stack up against what you experienced?”

“We agree on several points, but before I comment, let me process what you said for a bit. I need to think.”

As we walked in silence, I watched Robert. He was thrilled to be outdoors and off the leash. He raced ahead of us toward the woods and into the underbrush. I followed his progress by the tip of his tail above the greenery as he foraged at the edge of the lawn. I saw no change in him in spite of last night’s doings. I wasn’t so sure that was the case with me. I felt different. Slower, somehow, yet calmer. I had always been so paranoid and jumpy. Now, I seemed to be more willing to let the world come to me rather than always reaching for it. What had happened to me last night?

Johnny interrupted my musings. “Well, I think you got most of the salient points right. But I owe you an apology, a really big one. I’m not sure what the outcome will be once you’ve heard what I have to say. Nonetheless, I promised myself that I would tell you. I also promised the entity we summoned. It’s part of the agreement I made, but I’ll get to that in due course.”

Here he stopped walking and turned to look at the house, avoiding having to look at me.

“There’s a part of me that always takes things too far. It’s in my nature…I love living at the edge. I feel so alive out there, but doing so comes at a price. Not everyone likes to live like that, and I take anyone who’s nearby along, whether they like it or not, usually by not telling them that they’ve jumped off a cliff with me. The costs of my decisions and choices are often at other’s expense. Perhaps that’s why I have so few real friends. The truth is I’m just not trustworthy, and I’m not honest.”

“Johnny…”

He turned to face me.

“Percy, it’s important you hear this — all of this — before you respond. I am not one to bare my soul, but there comes a time, and that time is now. I really do need to reevaluate my life. I promised myself, and now you as well, that I’ll try to be less underhanded. I hate myself whenever I do it, and I do it a lot. Saying I’m sorry does nothing for me anymore, yet here I am doing it again. I have to stop, and I’m going to.

“The truth is I’ve always been at the center of my world. My life revolves around me. I’ve liked it that way, but after last night, I realized I’ve had it all wrong. In reality, I count for little. There are things out there that are much greater than me and far more significant than I once thought. I must either accept that and change or remain the superficial, self-centered person that I am. I’ve chosen the former.

“You’re probably wondering what could possibly have led me to this juncture, so let me tell you what really happened last night. I’ll leave my analysis to the end. All I ask is that you hear me out in full. Promise me you’ll listen until I finish?”

“Of course,” I said. What else could I say to that? Obviously, I would not like what he had to relate, but then again, maybe I would. I was willing to hear it. I, too, was in a different place.

“Here goes.

“To start, I need to fill you in on some things I haven’t told you. By chance, I discovered some notes written by Alice that were tucked between the pages of the odd-shaped book I borrowed from downstairs. They outlined some additional details as to how to contact and summon spirits — like a best practices outline. She recommended the use of a powerful object — particularly the jeweled bracelet — to focus her attention. She emphasized the direction to face, the lighting, and that sort of thing, quite specifically, so it was no coincidence that I created the setup the way I did. Also, she outlined what she experienced during a summoning and that her breakthrough came when she started using a supplement made from parts of the Brugmansia plant. The drug helped her achieve a greater awareness, and most importantly, it allowed her to become visible to those entities she wished to summon. She would prepare a tincture that she would take prior to her sessions. It was kept in a small jade box in the hidden library. She recommended the dosage of two drops in one and a half ounces of liquid, aged single malt being the preferred medium. I hope you will forgive me, but I added that amount to your shot glass just before we began. I did not partake, partly because I was a chicken. I admit that. But also to make sure that if things got out of hand, there was someone there not only to act as a control but to take action, if needed. I was justified in this, but that doesn’t excuse my irresponsibility and flagrant disregard for your choice in the matter. I hope you will forgive me. I really went too far.”

Here he paused and looked me over to see how I was taking all this. I thought I took it rather well. What he said explained several things. There was no question that I had stepped into another world last night. At another time, I would have been completely beside myself and probably punched him. But I was not the same person I was yesterday. I saw at once the struggle that raged within him. His genius. His love of danger. His complete disregard for others. It was his weakness but also his strength. I saw him driven by his own uncertainty into his often frantic efforts to succeed. The greater the odds against him, the more alluring the paths became. I understood. I also realized it was not my forgiveness he sought, but his own.

I gripped his arm for a moment to let him know that there was no need to ask for what would always be there. Such was our friendship.

He gave a great sigh, and there were tears in his eyes.

“I probably don’t deserve you, but I think the rest will be easier to relate. Thank you. Let me go on.

“We got right to it after we had worked out what to say. I really was curious to see what would happen. We rattled off the first several verses. I didn’t notice much at first, but there were subtle changes. The book seemed warmer. I put my arm around Robert in case he got antsy, but nothing fazed him. He stayed still as stone. His ears pricked up at one point, and I felt there was something in front of us. You and I looked at each other. You looked like you were ready to jump out of your skin and said you wanted to stop, and at that point, so did I, but we were already off the deep end and had to soldier on. I wasn’t sure if your fear was the result of the drug, or what was actually happening. You really did look a fright, and that began to concern me. I realized then that I might have made a huge mistake.

“There is another thing you should know. I took the liberty of adding a few additional clauses to our contract.”

Again he looked me over carefully to see how this sat with me. I was now quite curious. I shrugged. My judgmental side seemed to be on vacation. Robert continued to run about, leaving us farther behind. I motioned that we should walk. Johnny was usually more comfortable walking. He spoke. I listened as we wandered along the edge of the woods.

“Alice in her notes wrote something I thought rather profound. She noted that the gods get lonely. They need to be acknowledged and their existence confirmed. It need not be adoration. She cited the Hindu practice of Darshan, the ‘auspicious sight,’ or ‘to see with reverence and devotion.’ The gods need an audience is how I interpreted it. Practicing Darshan properly means the observer develops an affection for the entity, and in turn, the entity develops an affection for the observer; thus, a relationship is established. The ‘properly’ part is the ceremony or ritual. It is a kind of introduction, where both parties see each other and begin to know the other. Merit is bestowed on both parties. It was quite an insight, I thought, and established for me the theory, the matrix, that underlay our summoning.”

Johnny tended to get technical when he had something personal and important to confess. He would get to the point eventually. I waited. It wouldn’t be long.

“We approached our late-night meeting in terms of a contract. Contracts involve an exchange of a valuable or consideration for another. I puzzled over what it was we could provide in exchange for the presence of the demon and the answer to the question. Stanley exchanged his explicit knowledge and his implied protection for our explicit promise. It was sealed, and our relationship has become contractual in nature. This established a level of trust between us that I doubt we could have achieved with him any other way. The promise allowed him to tell us what he’s kept to himself and told no one else.

“Using Alice’s insight, the valuable I thought to give to the demon was this Darshan, the merit that comes from seeing him and acknowledging him. As Alice pointed out, this is a valuable commodity in the spirit world. I structured an additional clause that promised this acknowledgment by offering your Darshan. The idea was that the demon would get a glimpse of you and you would get a glimpse of him. You would, of course, have to become visible, and that meant using the tincture. What wasn’t clear to me when I wrote that clause was that the way one becomes visible to such an entity is by opening your mind. In exchange, the entity — in this case, a demon — opens his to yours. Because I had not taken the tincture, you gave a lot more Darshan than anticipated and received a great deal more from the demon in return. At least, that’s how I figure it, and it explains what followed to a large degree.

“Once we got through the contractual bit, we made a toast. You mentioned that you thought the drink was water, but actually it was more single malt with an additional drop of tincture in yours. Alice’s notes cautioned that three was the maximum allowed. At this point, I was not exactly sure what was going on in the summoning. Something was happening to you, and Robert was aware of something in the room of a spiritual nature, because he gets all stiff when that happens. I decided to ask my question about Alice and awaited a reply. You were the one who answered, which surprised me. I wrote it down. ‘The Eye of the Moon was closed.’ Are you with me so far?”

“Yes, although I can’t say I know what that means.”

“I don’t either. Well, now comes the bad part.”

“The bad part?”

“Give me a minute.”

He lit a cigarette and smoked a few puffs in silence. He had talked easily before, not so now. He struggled to get the words out.

“It was my fault, of course. If only I had just shut up, but no — I wanted to be the hero and be the one to discover the answer. I stupidly asked another question, breaking our promise to ask only one, and that’s when you began to hiss. I must admit — if you thought you were freaked out, I lost it at that point. Robert leaped off the couch and into his bed. I can’t blame him. I’ve never been more frightened in my life. I thought I crapped my pants. I did, in fact, I discovered later. All my attention was on what was happening. You grabbed my arm in a grip of steel and said one word: ‘Broken!’ You repeated it over and over, with your voice getting wilder and louder. Malcolm said he heard a voice with a raspy quality. Well, he was getting it one floor below. I was right next to you. I didn’t know what to do. You got up and went around the table to the figurine. You grabbed it and held it to your chest. You looked at me with a look I’d never seen. It was the demon speaking through you.

“It said, ‘For me, for him.’

“You for the figurine seemed like a deal to me, so I screamed, ‘Yes. For you, for him.’

“But it paused then. ‘He got more, much more, something extra. You pay more. Your word.’

“‘My word?’ I asked.

“‘Your word.’

“‘Okay, you have my word.’

“‘Tell him, find him out, and keep him. Your word?’

“‘My word.’

“‘Seal it!’”

Johnny looked away and smoked some more. His hand holding the cigarette was shaking.

“You walked around the table, and you kissed me right on the mouth. ‘Done,’ you said. Right after that, you collapsed. The figurine crashed to the floor beside you and broke into several pieces. The jewel must have hit the table when you fell, because it sheared in two. You were just lying there. You looked dead. I was beyond freaked out. I panicked completely.

“I ran down the stairs and into Raymond. He must have just gotten Malcolm back into his room. He asked me where the fuck I was going.

“I said, ‘I’m going to get Stanley. Get the fuck out of my way.’ You know Raymond. The more profanity the better.”

Johnny laughed. I hadn’t heard him laugh in some time.

“He asked me if I needed help. I thought about it as I looked at him and said, ‘Maybe later. In fact, I’m pretty sure I will. Keep it in mind.’”

“He shrugged. ‘I’m around.’

“I went over to the servants’ wing, and as I got to his door, Stanley opened it. He was in his bathrobe. He asked what had happened. I said you had collapsed, and I didn’t know what to do. That guy can move, I tell you. We made it up the stairs in record time. He examined you and said that Alice used to look the same after one of her sessions. He put you to bed and assured me you would feel great in the morning. He told me to get some sleep and that the three of us would talk after lunch.

“That’s what really happened last night.”