‘Good afternoon. Merry Christmas.’
Ethan was speaking and responding to guests and staff in the hotel, but it was as if his functions were being controlled by someone else. It was robotic. It was going through the motions. It was getting by. And that was what he had been doing for the past five days already. A replication of how he had been after Ferne’s death.
He pushed the door to the boardroom and stepped inside. Today’s mission, before he fled back into the anonymity of the city, was to ensure Noel was completely across the festive party bookings. Office workers, groups from construction, schoolteachers, they were all excited for the end of their working year and wanting to celebrate in style with dinner and dancing late into the night. It was a good money-maker as long as everything ran smoothly.
He entered, eyes to the floor, fingers clamped around a coffee he hadn’t yet touched. ‘Noel, can we make this quick so I can get back to other things?’
‘Hello, Ethan,’ Silvie’s voice greeted.
He looked up then, the coffee cup falling out of his grasp. Around the boardroom table was Noel, Louis, Jeanne, Silvie and Bo-Bo was even sitting on his own chair looking like he might be about to start a presentation. ‘What… is this?’ Ethan gasped, hurriedly plucking the cup from the wood floor.
‘This is a family meeting,’ Silvie told him coolly. ‘Please, sit down.’
‘Family,’ Ethan said shaking his head.
‘Yes, Ethan,’ Silvie said. ‘Family. We are all here because we want the very same thing here. The best for our family. The Durand Family. And the best for Perfect Paris.’
Ethan’s eyes went to Jeanne. How was she here? How was she sitting next to Silvie like she might be about to have lunch with a much-loved grandmother? Had he been so completely blinkered these past few days that he had missed significant developments. He was suddenly flooded with a worry that he hadn’t left any food for Jeanne last night…
He put a hand on a chair and debated whether to drop into it or go running back out the door. What made him stay was the feeling of deep exhaustion he was carrying. He was so so tired.
‘Ethan,’ Louis said, appearing beside him and resting a hand on his shoulder. ‘Come on, please, sit down.’
Ethan nodded, too tired to put up any sort of fight. If he didn’t like what was about to be said he could always bury his head back in the snow later. He pulled out the seat and sat down, eyes dropping to the table. Bo-Bo let out a low whine.
‘How are you feeling?’ Silvie asked him.
‘Like I am the subject of a social experiment right now,’ he answered.
‘I will… order some more coffees.’
Ethan raised his head at the sound of his assistant’s voice and Noel offered him the smallest of smiles that very much said this meeting was not so much about business as it was about an intervention.
‘Shall we start by talking about the hotels?’ Silvie suggested.
Really? This was about the hotels? Then perhaps he could engage a little although… ‘My assistant has left the room to make coffee. Perhaps we should…’
‘I like the new concept for the hotels.’
Ethan turned a little in his seat at the sentence coming from Louis. The man was looking at him, a softness to his expression, the kind he had worn on the doorstep of Ethan’s apartment before he dropped the bombshell that had altered the course of everything.
‘I do not like the new concept,’ Silvie said.
This was more like it. But Ethan had no fight left in him to counter.
‘I love the new concept,’ Silvie exclaimed in sheer excitement. ‘Welcome Paris. Your home from home.’
His body responded before his brain could close it off. He was sitting more upright and he couldn’t seem to settle his shoulders down again. It appeared his movement was no longer under his control.
‘I think you have come up with an idea that will absolutely move the brand forward and it embraces everything a traveller needs as we look to a new year.’ Silvie inhaled. ‘The things we have missed most have been hugs. And I do not necessarily mean hugs from human contact, although, when we all had to be apart I did miss that. I mean the feeling of being supported… of being looked after and cherished…’
Comfortable. The word was in Ethan’s mind immediately. Everything still ached from the revelation of five days ago. And still, every second of every day he was thinking only of Keeley.
‘And… there are going to be more animals at the Tour Eiffel hotel,’ Jeanne blurted out. Bo-Bo barked.
‘The one thing we weren’t quite sure about was rabbits in reception areas, despite the handwashing stations,’ Silvie continued.
‘Mother agreed,’ Louis said, as if believing blame was likely to be levied in his direction. ‘Even the animal shelter agreed.’
‘So, there is now this cool barn in the garden!’ Jeanne said, kneeling up on her chair and making pictures with her hands. ‘There is a donkey and two sheep and the rabbits, plus some really cute little guinea pigs.’
‘It is all being professionally overseen,’ Louis continued. ‘The animal association have helped with that – and they are hoping to raise awareness about animal kindness through the barn initiative. They will be giving out leaflets, collecting donations as the children staying at the hotel spend time in the petting zoo.’
‘But grown-ups are allowed to hug too. Everyone needs something to cuddle sometimes,’ Silvie added. She smiled like someone who had already had the pleasure of a guinea pig on their lap.
Ethan didn’t know what to say. He was taking all this in, but these people looking at him were different than they had been before. Altered from how they had been through the last twelve months. It was like while he had been hiding from the world they had all been reborn. And what had happened with Jeanne? Where had she really been while he had been turning back to Calvados? She was obviously here on the invitation of Silvie, or Louis, or both, and had been party to whatever had been happening over at the Tour Eiffel hotel. The one hotel he had made no attempt to visit at all.
‘And the hotels are all getting a makeover,’ Silvie stated. ‘You have made a wonderful beginning with this hotel and a start has been made at Tour Eiffel. The other hotels will come on board in the new year.’
‘It looks completely different!’ Jeanne said, all eagerness. ‘It looks like… a circus! With drapes and covers and lots of old stuff. Old stuff but nice stuff. Like we found at Les Puces.’
‘We were going for a mix of log cabin and Bedouin tent with a Parisian twist,’ Louis told him. ‘I can… show you the drawings if you like.’
What did he say? It was now like all this information was on board an express train heading on a course straight for his heart. Somehow he knew now what this all was. It wasn’t the Durands changing as people – not entirely anyhow – this was about someone else.
‘The drawings do not do it justice, Louis,’ Silvie insisted. ‘Ethan needs to see it for himself.’
‘Tonight!’ Jeanne added, bouncing up higher on her knees and invigorating Bo-Bo. ‘He should see it tonight!’
Ethan watched Silvie put a hand on Jeanne’s shoulder as if to quieten her and miraculously the girl complied. He rubbed his eyes with his fist. Jeanne’s hair was pinned back from her face and set in a neat bun. He was just about getting used to her without the hat, but this neatness and care was brand new. And he had missed it. Because he had been only thinking of himself. How could he be that way if he was planning to provide a safe haven for the girl? He had to get himself together if he wanted to ensure a place with him was better for her health than living on the streets.
‘What a wonderful suggestion, Jeanne,’ Silvie said clapping her hands together. ‘How about a family meal?’
Bo-Bo let out a bark and shook his head, drool landing on the polished boardroom table.
‘Yes, and you too, Bo-Bo,’ Silvie agreed.
And then something extraordinary happened. Silvie reached towards the dog and scratched the animal under its chin until it began licking her fingers and looked likely to try and mount the woman.
‘I… cannot make it tonight,’ Ethan found himself saying. ‘I have other plans.’
‘No, you do not,’ Jeanne told him.
‘Jeanne, I do.’
‘You have been spending all your time drinking. You think I do not know the haunts of people from the street? I have spent time with Pierre from the secret bar in Montmartre.’
Ethan didn’t know what to say. He had known Pierre for years. It hurt him that Jeanne was even acquainted with the barman who was known for helping those in need.
‘Jeanne, Louis,’ Silvie addressed them. ‘Why don’t you both see what Noel is doing about the coffee?’
Jeanne huffed a sigh and climbed down from her perch on the chair, tugging Bo-Bo down with her. ‘Perhaps he might respond if we had something stronger than coffee.’
‘How about cake?’ Louis suggested, shepherding Jeanne towards the door like a favourite uncle.
‘And some for Bo-Bo?’ she asked.
‘Of course,’ Louis replied.
As the door closed behind them Ethan got to his feet. ‘What is going on here? How do you know Jeanne? What is happening with the hotels? And how did you get Louis to sign off on a barn?’
His agitation was the only thing driving him now, as he hadn’t eaten properly in five days. That weakness was telling a tale on his attempt to appear together.
‘Louis was happy to agree on animals. We did not agree on penguins.’ She sighed. ‘Sit back down, Ethan. We have some talking to do.’
‘I do not want to talk,’ he told her. ‘I have nothing to say.’
‘You have nothing to say?’ Silvie asked. ‘You do not want to say anything about how you decided to take in a street girl and her dog, inviting them to live with you! You do not want to say anything about the new idea you had to change the hotels so they cater completely for what customers want not what Ferne maybe thought our customers should aspire to?’
Ethan didn’t know how to respond. Silvie was hitting the nail on the head with every breath. He sat back down.
‘Or do you not want to say anything about Keeley?’ Silvie asked. ‘The woman you have fallen in love with but are too stupid to not take a chance with.’
Ethan bit his lip. The tears were in his eyes as soon as Silvie had said her name. ‘I… cannot.’
‘Why can’t you?’ Silvie asked him. ‘I want to hear it in your words.’
He shook his head. ‘She… and Ferne… it’s too… crazy.’
‘Crazy,’ Silvie said with a nod. ‘Yes, you are right. The situation is completely crazy. But, it is the kind of thing you read about all the time. Remember, the two people who found love in lockdown across their balconies. Or the cats that go missing, then walk hundreds of miles to get to their previous homes. Or how about… jetting into space… or that craziest of crazy men being in charge of the United States.’ Silvie paused for a second. ‘Crazy happens all the time, Ethan. It does not have to mean that crazy is wrong.’
He didn’t have any more words. It was an unbelievable complication. Something that should not have been able to occur with no one knowing about it. If he had just paid a little more interest when Silvie had said the person who had received Ferne’s kidney was here. If he had turned up at dinner…
‘Look at it from Keeley’s point of view,’ Silvie carried on. ‘I have asked her to come here. I have wanted to meet the woman who received Ferne’s kidney. I wanted, very selfishly, to know who Keeley was and to also know that she was well. And to believe that some good was coming from the waste that was Ferne’s death. Perhaps it was closure. Maybe, in truth, it was thinking that I might notice a little of Ferne about her. I know that sounds silly. Donating a kidney isn’t some far-fetched kind of reincarnation, I realise that. I suppose, I wanted to know she was nice, and kind, or brave, or set to do remarkable things but what I found out was so much more than I could have anticipated.’
Ethan made no reply.
‘I found out that she was the most beautiful soul in the simplest of ways. She is kind. And she is nice. And, my God, she has been so brave. Going through an accident, losing her sister, nearly losing her own life and having to pick up all those pieces afterwards. I can only imagine what she has had to go through.’ Silvie shook her head. ‘And to do all that and know that you are supposed to be living your best life each and every day, with the eyes of your overprotective mother on you, the hopes and dreams of a grieving French woman on you, and everyone else talking about second chances and making moments count. The poor poor girl hasn’t been given a minute to even process what her new life means.’ Silvie stood then, making her way around the table towards him. ‘Until she met you.’
Ethan didn’t dare look up. His heart was hammering against his rib cage and he felt rather like one of the rabbits from reception who got agitated if the children held them too long or too hard.
‘Because Keeley met you with no precursor,’ Silvie reminded him. ‘She told me you literally ran into each other. With the penguin.’
He swallowed. ‘Yes.’
‘And, for a moment, for the very first time, Keeley was simply herself. A bright, intelligent, young woman in Paris, the person she was before these tragic events, the person she so wants to be if only fate would let her.’
Ethan shook his head, the tears coming then. ‘I do not know what to do,’ he sobbed. ‘I cannot stop thinking about her. But every time I think about her I think about Ferne and how much I still miss her.’
Silvie slipped into the seat beside him then. ‘We all still miss her. And there is nothing wrong with that.’ She sighed. ‘I know that Louis thinks I have been spending too much time in Ferne’s room, but there is a reason for that. I have decided… that it is time to clear a few things out. Not all of it. Never all of it. But there are deserving people who would appreciate almost a whole house of fashion that lives in her wardrobes.’
‘She has more clothes than Givenchy,’ Ethan answered.
Silvie laughed. ‘She really does.’
Ethan smiled and rubbed at his eyes.
‘Ethan,’ Silvie said gently. ‘The only body part that makes us who we are cannot be transplanted.’ She sighed. ‘Our soul.’ She laid her hand on his. ‘And… I believe that the soul dies altogether at exactly the same time we do.’ Silvie smiled. ‘Everything else about us is… simply machinery.’
‘You really look at it like that?’ Ethan asked her.
Silvie nodded. ‘I also know that if Ferne had not been in the UK, in London, on that November night, Keeley would most likely not be here now.’ She smiled at Ethan, patting his hand. ‘Do not punish Keeley for being able to live because Ferne could not. I believe Keeley has been punishing herself for far too long already, with absolutely no grounds for it.’
‘I don’t know what to do,’ Ethan said, watery eyes struggling to focus.
Silvie sighed. ‘Yes, you do,’ she told him sincerely. ‘And you also know what Ferne would want you to do too.’
Suddenly, loud barking erupted from outside the door and, looking through the glass into the lobby area beyond, Ethan saw Bo-Bo was running off with a whole cake lodged in between his jaws.
‘That dog!’ Silvie said, shaking her head. ‘It is a menace! And it needs a visit to the groomers.’
‘So did Jeanne before I saw a bun in her hair today,’ Ethan replied.
Silvie smiled. ‘You liked my handiwork?’
‘I knew you had done it. I just did not know why.’
‘Jeanne was worried about you. She made sure we were introduced. And while you have been… absent… she has asked for some books from my library and some of Ferne’s things to decorate her room.’
‘I… do not know what I am doing with Jeanne either,’ Ethan admitted. ‘I did not think. I…’
‘Oh no, Ethan,’ Silvie interrupted. ‘You did think. You thought very deeply with regard to Jeanne. Except you did not think with your head. You thought with your heart.’ She squeezed his hand then. ‘And that is what you should carry on doing. Come to the hotel tonight. Come and see what has changed.’ A smile crossed her lips. ‘I think you will be surprised.’