ANALEE
“DECLARATION OF PATRICIA HASKINS WARD IN SUPPORT OF PETITION FOR PARENTAGE AND REQUEST FOR ORDER FOR TEMPORARY CUSTODY
I, Patricia Haskins Ward, declare:
I bring this action to secure the legal parentage, custody and welfare of my daughter, Dawn Haskins, age four. Dawn was conceived from my ovum and sperm from an anonymous donor. The resulting zygote was implanted in the womb of my sister Karen Haskins, who gestated and gave birth to Dawn. As a consequence, I am Dawn’s genetic mother and Karen is her gestational mother.
As we had planned, Dawn initially lived with Karen, though she visited frequently with my family. When Dawn was twenty months old, Karen descended into a deep depression that required her hospitalization and led to a prolonged period of psychiatric disability. With Karen’s consent, I became Dawn’s legal guardian on March 30, 201_, and Dawn came to live with my husband Doug and me, and our two children, Sandra (age 9) and Ian (age 6) at our home in Roseville. Dawn lived with us continuously for nineteen months, thriving in the supportive atmosphere of my family, until Karen obtained a court order on July 18, 201__, terminating the guardianship.
Ever since Karen picked up Dawn from our home on July 19, 201_, Karen has prevented Dawn from having any contact with the rest of her family. On that occasion, Karen provoked an argument over my having cut and conditioned Dawn’s hair (she has very curly hair and it used to hurt her to have me comb it). Karen yelled at me in front of all three children, seized Dawn and drove off with the tires screeching on her car. To the best of my knowledge, she did not even take the time to secure Dawn in her car seat. I do not know if Dawn is either safe or secure in Karen’s custody, and it is not in Dawn’s best interests to be torn from her other parents and her siblings.
Karen has a history of depression going back to adolescence. She experimented with drugs in high school and suffered long “blue periods.” Until her collapse in 201_, she never sought professional treatment. Although she was sometimes employed as an art teacher in Nevada City and wrote and illustrated children’s books prior to her collapse, Karen’s personal life has been erratic and relatively unstable. I do not know what, if any, employment she now has. Karen has had a series of short relationships with inappropriate men throughout her adulthood and has never married. She now lives in Rough and Ready in an old house where, according to Dawn, she goes to the bathroom in an outhouse. I believe Karen lives alone with Dawn, although I have no way of knowing what sorts of people visit her.
By contrast, when Dawn lived with our family, she had two loving and attentive parents and a sister and brother of similar age who were her constant playmates. She attended preschool here in Roseville three mornings a week. She lived with us in our four-bedroom, three-bathroom home where she has her own bedroom (we had a “Dawn Sky” with a rising sun painted on one wall for her). We have a one-acre lot with a play structure in our enclosed back yard. I am a full-time mom who can give Dawn the loving attention she deserves and needs. My husband Doug is an attorney in Sacramento, who is home every night for dinner with our children and me.
For the sake of Dawn, I ask that this court declare that I am her mother (along with Karen), grant physical custody of Dawn to me and permit Karen regular weekend visitation such as she had during the guardianship period.
I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of California that the foregoing is true and correct. Executed at Roseville, California on September 28, 201_.”
By noon on Wednesday, I had read and reread this declaration and the parentage petition, jotted a disjointed list of questions and issues, reread two family law treatises on parentage, and started reading some of the parentage cases. I am becoming more and more agitated and less focused as the hours flee. Karen is coming in at two, and I haven’t even begun to figure out what I will say to her.
Parentage is another legal realm altogether from child custody. I know the realm of custody well, but have had few parentage actions. The ones I had involved unmarried biological fathers, and the question of parentage hung on the outcome of genetics and blood tests. Custody actions depend on the best interests of the child, and begin with the parents participating in mediation to explore whether they can resolve their disputes themselves, with the help of a trained mental health professional. Parentage is altogether different; the issues of mediation and custody aren’t even on the table until one is determined to be a legal parent. The reported cases arise from widely disparate backdrops and contain no bright-line rules. Our codes and cases identify natural, gestational, presumed and legal parents. Presumed parents rank higher than natural parents, but this ranking relates mainly to males and the history of men conceiving children but then either abandoning the mother or taking an active parenting role. We have statutory presumptions, but exceptions to most of them. A child born to a married couple is presumed to be the child of both spouses, regardless of biology, but there are exceptions to that when, for example, the mother leaves the marriage to be with the biological father and the biological father maintains a parenting relationship with the child.
We have a statute governing parentage of a child born from a sperm donation but none for an ovum donation. Social policy arising from marriage collides with biological facts, and the intention factor in assisted reproduction is not always honored.
My mind is muddling. A walk and lunch are my remedies or excuses, but I need to clear my head before talking with Karen.
As soon as I have walked a couple blocks, glancing up at the sheltering trees, I start to think of the people involved instead of the confusing state of the law. Whatever else is true, Patty and Karen remain sisters. Patty had been of immense help to Karen in many ways, and to Dawn as well. They had been close. Their children were close. To fight to maintain a complete alienation must hurt them all.
I have learned over the course of the morning that, while mediation is mandatory for disputing parents, it is not required between a parent and someone who is only alleging to be a parent. I had assured Stephen that mediation would happen, but I have to tell Karen that, at this stage, she can say no and prevent it. Given her state of mind on Friday, she might not agree at all to mediation. Should I try to persuade her? She would not be legally harmed by even an unsuccessful mediation because it is entirely confidential, but she has a right to say no.