This wasn’t my first trip to the afterlife. I had been here once before, after the Daramorr and his sister plunged a knife into my heart. During that visit, I had caught glimpses of memories I had long ago buried. For the first time in my life, I got to see what my mom and dad looked like. Dying for a second time was different. There were no greeting card scenes of my toddler self, running around in the park while my parents looked on. Instead, I was suspended in a world of white, and for some reason, my forehead felt clammy, and I was wrapped up in a collection of uncomfortably hot sheets. I gritted my teeth. Really? One would think the afterlife would be comfortable. Weren’t people always saying how the ones they’d lost were no longer suffering once they passed? Was it all a lie or was I just unlucky?
“Come on, Robyn, you’ve been out for three days.”
Oh, great. I was going to hear voices, too. I turned my head from side to side, but something pressed against my forehead, keeping me from moving. I growled in frustration.
“Robyn! That’s it. Wake up!”
I am awake! I wanted to shout. Apparently, that wasn’t enough for my tormentor. I guess I had to prove I was awake. How did you do that again? Oh, yeah! I had to lift my eyelids ...
My eyes flew open, and suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the vivid colors of the living world. I drew in a great breath, but it sounded more like a gasp.
“Easy!” Meghan hissed above me, removing a washcloth from my head.
Oh, so it was her who had been pinning me down. Some friend! I lifted up my arms, meaning to push Meghan away, but they didn’t get very far. Molten lead erupted from my shoulder sockets and poured down the center of my bones, replacing the marrow. Ow. That hurt!
I must have made some sound of distress, because Meghan huffed.
“Robyn, lie still! You’ve been struck by lightning, for goodness sake! You’re lucky to be alive.”
Her voice shook a little. I took three deep breaths, trying to calm my racing thoughts and come to terms with being alive once again. That’s when the memories flooded back to me: riding the horses out into the storm, finding Cade and Devlin in a field, the army of creepy-as-hell Otherworldly monsters, both living and dead, Cade looking like some freak survivor of a radiation disaster, the build-up of electricity in the air, Devlin, lying motionless on the ground ... That last thought wrapped around my mind like a whip, grabbing it and jerking it to a stop.
“Devlin,” I murmured.
I gave up my pathetic struggle against Meghan and let my head fall back onto the pillow.
“He’s okay. He’d only been knocked unconscious,” Meghan reassured me.
A deep sigh spilled from my lungs, followed swiftly by a sob. And then the tears came, like a rushing tide, impossible to stop and embarrassingly prolific. Fabulous.
“Shhh,” Meghan crooned, taking one of my hands and squeezing my fingers. “Everyone is fine! Me, Cade, Devlin, even the horses and the spirit guides. And you.”
Meghan’s voice faltered again. Just peachy. The two of us were about to completely lose it. Fortunately, my friend managed to get a hold of herself and continued talking to me.
“Stop crying, Robyn! You’ve been fried by Otherworldly lightning, and you can’t afford to lose any more liquids. If you keep this up, you just might dry up into a piece of jerky.”
I snorted and drew in a deep breath. Even that hurt, but at least Meghan’s pep talk brought me out of my downward spiral. Again, I tried opening my eyes, this time slowly, so the glorious world wouldn’t blind me. I blinked and turned my head, realizing I was in the room Devlin and I had been sharing at Luathara Castle. Mid-afternoon light, obscured by clouds the color of old bruises, filtered in through the tall windows on the northwestern side of the castle.
My head turned in the other direction, that hot pain coursing through my bones once again, only not nearly as intense as before. I glanced up at Meghan’s face. She looked paler than usual, the corners of her eyes and mouth pinched with worry. She tried a small smile, and I returned the gesture. I think. It was hard to tell, since I hadn’t really felt my lips move at all.
Casting aside all the questions fluttering around in my head, I focused on the most important one. “Where’s Devlin?” I asked, my voice a raspy whisper.
Meghan let go of a breath she had obviously been holding. “Downstairs with Cade.”
That stung a little. If it had been him who’d been struck by lightning, I’d be right here lying next to him, waiting for him to wake up. My feelings must have shown on my face, because Meghan lifted a hand to stave off my distress.
“He was up here all night and through half the day with you. Cade and I only got him to move because I promised to stay with you and come get him the moment you woke up.”
I grinned, and this time I felt it. “He’s going to be ticked.”
Meghan looked taken aback. “Why?”
“You broke your promise. I’ve been awake a good five minutes now, and you haven’t moved from your chair.”
Meghan snorted and quipped, “I’d smack you if you weren’t barely alive.”
For some reason, Meghan’s sudden cheer had me feeling much better. I struggled against my worthless arms and bit my cheek as the molten pain spiked and jabbed at my bones again, until I was sitting up. My entire body ached, as if someone had ripped all my joints out of place, then jammed them back in.
“Barely alive?” I said, my forehead breaking out in a sweat. “I’m ready to take on the next lightning bolt!”
Meghan smiled, but it faded quickly, her face growing grim. I had a feeling my own expression was just as gaunt.
I cleared my throat a little, trying to ignore the raw burn that action left behind. “How did I survive a lightning strike, by the way?”
I had seen just how bad Eile’s lightning was first hand. I’d had plenty of time on our break-neck ride to Kellston to develop a healthy fear and respect for its deadly power. I also remembered how my own magic had been acting during the lightning storm. Could it be because of my Lorehnin glamour that I survived?
Meghan shook her head and stood from her chair and answered my question. “We don’t know.”
My eyebrow arched. “We?”
“Cade and I stayed up late into the night trying to figure out how. Perhaps you have stronger glamour than we thought, or maybe it was an unusual case. But, Robyn, no one, not even the most powerful Faelorehn, should have survived a lightning strike of that magnitude.”
Cold shivers skittered over my skin like spiders. Thoughts of my ordeal with Mikael and Moira, blossomed into my mind and I gritted my teeth. They had gone to a lot of trouble to sacrifice me, despite the fact that they had failed. There had to be a reason for it.
“You said Cade and Devlin are downstairs?” I asked.
“Yes. They are in the library, trying to figure it out.”
I gathered what strength I had left and scooted to the edge of the bed.
“What are you doing?” Meghan asked, turning to stop me from my progress.
I batted her hand away and tore the sheets back with one arm. Even that effort left me winded for a few moments.
“I want to be part of their conversation.”
“What? Why? You need to rest. We can fill you in later.”
I gritted my teeth. No. I needed to be there now. Ever since arriving in Eile and moving in with Devlin in the Weald, he had avoided most of the questions I’d asked regarding my possible heritage. Not enough to be outwardly obvious, but enough for me to realize he was keeping something from me. I had trusted him, believing he’d tell me in time. Something told me that whatever he was keeping secret had to do with my glamour, and I had decided it was time for me to know.
I told Meghan as much, and she stood listening to me, her arms crossed above her stomach, her hands clasping her elbows. She was wearing one of the simple yet elegant dresses she’d worn around the castle before the incident in Kellston.
“I think he might suspect something about my glamour, about me, that he isn’t sharing,” I admitted.
Meghan’s face grew stern. “I understand how you feel. Cade kept the truth about my parentage from me, for a while. I had hated being in the dark about it, but I understand why he did it.”
She gave a wicked smile. “Didn’t make me any less angry, though.”
I leaned over, my hands on my knees. Man, it was tough standing upright.
“I bet if we corner them, they’ll have to tell us,” I stated.
Meghan beamed. “Oh yes, they definitely will.”
“Come on. Help me get dressed, and we’ll go see what they’ve discovered on their own.”
* * *
The last time someone helped me get dressed, I was six years old and unable to reach the clothes in the top drawer of my dresser. To have to ask for help, even from my best friend, was a bit humiliating, but we managed to work our way through it without my feet ending up in the wrong shoes or with my shirt on inside out.
Climbing down the stairs was an entirely different matter, however. Every single joint in my body ached, even the small ones in my toes, and the muscles of my arms, legs and stomach felt shredded. I think I might have burned more calories breathing heavily against the pain than I would have done running a half marathon. More than once, I nearly lost my footing. Fortunately, Meghan was there to keep me from tumbling down the staircase.
“You know, when I suggested to Devlin that we visit you and Cade on the way to the Amsihr Mountains, this wasn’t exactly how I pictured it,” I grumbled.
Meghan snorted and gripped my elbow tighter as I lurched forward again.
“Believe it or not, this is rather mild compared to what we’ve had to deal with in the past few years.”
I paused on the landing to catch my breath and shot my friend a sharp glance over my shoulder. “What do you mean?”
Meghan let go of me and bit the inside of her cheek, before shaking her head and giving me a delicate smile. “Just what I had been telling you about earlier with all the other nasty, post-Morrigan drama. I don’t want to bore you with the details, or worry you.”
I stood up as straight as I could and crossed my arms. Ow. I winced and swallowed back the pain. “Out with it,” I demanded. “I’m living in Eile now, so it would probably be good to know what to expect.”
Meghan got the full force of my death stare. She returned it for a few moments, but then, succumbed. Ha! Robyn Dunbarre, the woman who beat the Faelorehn princess responsible for taking out the Morrigan. Awesome. Sure, it was only a staring contest, but still. I had to celebrate the little victories.
“Let’s go to the library first. Cade does a better job explaining it than me.”
Reluctantly, we started moving once again. Five more minutes of slow descent and cursing on my part brought us to the ground level, and Meghan turned me down the long hallway leading deeper into the castle. We passed by the dining room and kitchen on the right. The tantalizing aroma of roasting meat spiced the air, and the friendly banter of the kitchen staff mixing with the crack and clang of pots and pans lifted my spirits a little. The familiar din of life could be such a balm to the senses once you’ve managed to return from the brink of death. Finally, we came to a stop in front of the library. The door stood slightly ajar, and the light streaming onto the floor in front of us seemed unnaturally bright. As we moved closer, I could hear Devlin’s deep, familiar voice spilling into the deserted hallway.
“I’ve never sensed anything like it, Cade, but I am far younger than you. Perhaps you could enlighten me.”
“What about the time we were in the Amsihr Mountains?” Cade responded.
I made to move forward; to burst through the door and throw myself into Devlin’s arms. Meghan had told me he was fine, and I had believed her, of course. But to hear his voice and know for certain? I wanted so badly to hold him and listen to his strong, steady heartbeat. Meghan grabbed my arm before I could take a single faltering step. I shot my eyes up to hers. She shook her head once, the look on her face very serious, and held an index finger up to her lips, drawing it across her cheek to point at her ear. Wait and listen.
I let out an impatient breath, but stayed put.
Someone took a deep breath, releasing it slowly in a long, weary sigh. “I was too focused on finding the draghan then. I didn’t bother to get a good feel for the other magic in those caverns. The missing girl, yes. But you remember what Maithar Jarda said about her.”
Devlin’s voice grew hard and clipped with the last sentence.
“Yes,” Cade murmured lightly. “She was an outsider. Not born of the Amsihria.”
Several moments passed before Devlin spoke up again. “Her magic was similar to that of many Faelorehn. Nothing remarkable.”
Once again, silence descended. Then, Devlin added in a voice so quiet I could hardly hear it, “Did you see any of it?”
“I was at the tail end of my riastrad. I lost consciousness just before the lightning struck. But, Meghan was still fully conscious.”
My friend didn’t even flinch upon hearing her name.
“Perhaps now would be a good time to check on Robyn and see what Meghan has to say.”
The sound of creaking furniture greeted our ears, but before either man could leave the cozy warmth of the library behind, Meghan stepped past me and nudged the door open with her fingers. The library loomed large and empty before me. Yes, the books and shelves and fireplace, complete with dancing flames, were all still there, but for some reason, I felt smaller standing before it all. The light streaming in through the windows was grey from the lingering storm clouds above, and through those same windows, I could see the rain-swollen creek rushing down the small culvert, the water clearly in a great hurry to obey gravity’s command.
When my eyes returned to the center of the room, they landed on Devlin and Cade. The two men stood on the sunken part of the floor where the chairs and table sat. The couches and stuffed chairs looked particularly inviting today, especially since the trek from the second floor had made my bones and joints ache, but I stood frozen, staring at Devlin.
A dark bruise decorated the side of his face, and his right arm was in a sling. As soon as our eyes met, I started forward, only to feel my knees buckle under me. Wonderful. I was going to face-plant onto the rug like a total klutz. Before I made contact with the ground, however, someone large caught me and drew me with one arm up against their chest. I took a deep breath, and all my worries and concerns melted away. I knew that smell. Fresh rain, leather, earthy spices, old magic and wilderness. Devlin. Of their own accord, my arms reached up, and I placed my palms against his chest, my fingers curling into fists and clutching onto his shirt for dear life.
“Robyn,” he breathed into my hair, “thank the gods.”
His good arm crushed me to him, and for several moments, I just took long, deep breaths, my psyche healing from all the anxiety it had endured before the storm. He was alive and, mostly, well.
Eventually, he loosened his grip but didn’t let me go. I glanced up into those blue eyes of his and smiled, gritting my teeth when that action made my face hurt. Ugh. When would all this twinging and aching go away?
“I thought the faelah had killed you,” I rasped. “Then, I was afraid that if you were just unconscious, the lightning would strike and kill all of you.”
Devlin kissed the top of my head and hugged me close once again. “I know,” he murmured.
“Let’s sit down,” Cade offered. “I think we need to have a conversation about everything that happened the other day.”
I nodded against Devlin’s chest and saw Meghan move out of the corner of my eye.
“I’ll see if Melvina or Birgit can fix us some tea,” she said, her voice flat.
Devlin half dragged me to the sofa, helping me sit down with gentle care. I did my best not to whimper.
Once I was settled, Devlin joined me, sitting as close as he could without crushing me against the armrest. I turned and studied him some more. A few scrapes started at his neck and disappeared under his collar, but none of them looked too deep. The bruise was ugly, but in time it would fade. I was mostly concerned about his arm, and I told him so.
Devlin shrugged and grinned, poking his elbow out. “One of the beasties latched on with its teeth and refused to let go. No broken bones, but it is a bit sore.” He winced. “Had to clean it out thoroughly. Faelah bites are very prone to festering.”
I nodded, this time with a little less pain. I could imagine.
“Thank the gods and goddesses of Eile you and Meghan showed up when you did,” Cade spoke up.
He had taken one of the chairs across from us. We waited for Meghan to return before speaking again. It was a comfortable silence, as if we all had been good friends for decades and not just acquaintances for a few years.
The sound of a door latch clicking announced Meghan’s return.
“Birgit is taking care of the tea,” she proclaimed, crossing the room and sitting down on the armrest of Cade’s chair.
I watched as she leaned into him. It was the tiniest shift of her body and completely natural, as was his reaction of reaching up and placing his hand on the small of her back. Devlin and I hadn’t reached that comfortable place in our relationship yet, but I looked forward to the day where we might move the same way, as if we were merely extensions of one another. Some people might fight that eventuality, claiming it meant giving up a bit of their independence, but I didn’t see it that way. To have your own soul so in tune with another’s wasn’t giving a little piece of yourself up, but gaining a larger piece of someone else. I could still be my stubborn, feisty self, only this time, I’d have Devlin tagging along with me, if not physically, then emotionally. It was a luxury, really, having the ability to borrow strength from someone else’s spirit when mine was so overwhelmed. Before meeting Devlin, I would have considered that a weakness.
I smiled again, wondering if Cade and Meghan knew that I envied them a little. Probably not.
Clearing my throat, I said, “So, anyone going to tell me what happened after I blacked out?”
Cade and Devlin looked toward Meghan. My friend’s hands, which had been resting in her lap, clenched into fists. She looked me in the eye, her hazel eyes darkening. I had almost forgotten about their uncanny habit of changing hues with all the recent excitement.
“Since you were the only person aware of what was happening around us, I think we should hear what you have to say,” Cade murmured to her, reaching up and taking one of her hands in his. He gave it a light squeeze, and Meghan drew in a deep breath.
“Cade, you were reaching the end of your riastrad, and Devlin was already unconscious when we got to the field.”
Both Cade and Devlin nodded.
“I don’t even remember seeing you arrive,” Cade offered.
For a few moments, my mind got stuck on the term ‘riastrad’. The word seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place it, and I was trying to process way too much at the moment. I shook my head slightly and decided to let it go for the time being. I could ask Meghan about it later.
Meghan drew in a deep breath through her nose and continued with her tale. She told the two men about our race to Kellston and how the clouds above were charging up for a massive lightning strike. They listened as she regaled the terrifying adventure in as much detail as possible. I only nodded every so often as the memories came flooding back. It had all seemed like some bizarre dream with pieces missing until I heard Meghan tell it again.
“I knew the bolt was coming,” Meghan murmured. She looked up at Devlin, then Cade. “You know that prickling feeling you get before the lighting strikes?”
I inclined my head along with Devlin and Cade. I had felt it, too. It was common to feel a static build-up before a lightning strike. I had never felt it myself during a normal thunderstorm, but from the looks on my friends’ faces, I imagined the feeling was far more intense here. I shuddered.
“I screamed at Robyn to get down, but she didn’t seem to hear me.”
She gave me a questioning look. I gritted my teeth. Oh, I’d heard her. I was just being brave. And stupid. And manipulated by some force I couldn’t name. I remembered feeling as if I had no choice. I knew standing up on top of that slope was suicidal, but I just had to do it.
I let out a deep breath. “I heard you,” I admitted, “but I couldn’t stop myself.”
My shoulders lifted in a shrug, and I immediately regretted the gesture. Yay! Another jolt of pain. Okay, Robyn, keep the movements to a minimum.
Devlin wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. He must have known my joints were killing me because he was gentle about it. I felt the pressure of his lips against the top of my head.
“I’m glad I wasn’t conscious,” he said gruffly. “I would have tackled you to the ground, even if every bone in my body had been shattered.”
I snorted. Oh my brave, melodramatic hero.
“And then, I was suddenly calm,” I continued. “I think my glamour might have finally activated, too, because I vaguely remember being surrounded by an aura of violet electricity even before the lightning hit.”
Cade suddenly stiffened and shot his eyes in my direction. His gaze fixed on something just above my head. Devlin had also grown very still, then Meghan’s husband said something in an unfamiliar language, and Devlin answered him.
Confused, I glanced at Meghan. She shook her head ever so slightly, and then narrowed her eyes.
“What are they saying?” I mouthed.
She gave a slight shrug and held her hand out flat, wobbling it from side to side. Okay, she could understand a little of it. I had heard the Wildren speak in this language before, and even Devlin used an odd word here and there, but I had no idea how to interpret any of it. The language of Eile, and although Meghan understood a little bit of it, she wasn’t going to be able to translate any of it in a hurry.
The two men continued on as if we weren’t even there.
“Okay, the tension’s killing me,” I finally complained. “What are you two saying?”
Both Cade and Devlin stopped their conversation and looked at me. Before anyone could say anything more, someone knocked at the door, then opened it. Birgit stepped in with a cart weighed down with two teapots, four cups and several plates full of sandwiches and cakes. There was even a tureen full of a steaming broth I suspected was soup, and a basket I hoped was hiding freshly baked bread under a dishtowel.
My stomach, upon learning there was food in the vicinity, grumbled so loudly that Devlin glanced down at me, his eyebrows raised.
I smiled and blinked innocently up at him.
“Apparently being nearly fried to death works up an appetite,” I said.
Birgit rolled the cart over to the rug and started laying out the teapots and food onto the low table separating me and Devlin from Meghan and Cade. For a few minutes, we forgot about the tension brewing in the room and instead helped ourselves to the tea and sandwiches.
Outside, the sky grew darker, not because the sun was finally setting, but because another batch of storm clouds had arrived, looming overhead like a dark blanket. A flash of light, followed by a deep rumble several seconds later, announced that Eile was unhappy about something. Again. We all stilled upon hearing the thunder, holding our breath as each of us recalled some memory of my jaunt up the hillside.
For me, it was a reminder of just how close I’d come to losing everything I had fought for. With one rash decision, I’d put my life on the line for my friends. Funny thing was, I knew I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. I didn’t know if that made me crazy or incredibly brave. Perhaps, a little bit of both.