Animal had been in good spirits when he woke up that morning. As promised, Tommy sent his man to meet him the night before to drop off the ten grand. For a long while, he just sat with it sitting on his bed, staring at it in wonder. It wasn’t the first time he had ever laid eyes on ten grand in a lump sum, but it was the first time he didn’t have to split it up amongst the Dog Pound.
After stashing the bulk of the money in his hiding place in his apartment, he hit the streets. His first stop was to go by Brasco’s crib. His best friend was currently in jail, again, and he wanted to make sure he had something on his books. Animal would have loved to go see him and drop it on his friend personally, but he wasn’t yet old enough to be allowed in prison without an adult. He had to settle for the next best thing, which was dropping it off with one of his uncles. There were three of them, Bizzle, Pop-Top and Vernon. Pop-Top was in jail and Vernon was a notorious thief and addict, so he trusted the thousand dollars to Bizzle to make sure Brasco got it. He and Bizzle chopped it up for a few hours while catching up on Animal’s life since he had moved out of their crowded apartment, before he had to move onto his next destination.
Animal jumped on the bus and headed across town to Pathmark to go grocery shopping. Some of the stuff was for his place, but the bulk of it was for the kids in The Below. He raided the aisles, grabbing hordes of their favorite snacks, five loaves of bread and spent two hundred dollars at the deli counter getting fresh turkey, ham and roast beef. There would be no bologna sandwiches for his little ones that night. He couldn’t wait to see their dirty little faces when he popped up with all the stuff, but first he had to make a quick stop back by his place.
By the time the taxi pulled up in front of Animal’s building, it was almost nightfall. He told the driver to wait for him while he ran to take some of the bags up to his apartment. As he fished around in his pocket for his keys, an eerie feeling settled in the pit of his gut. Putting the bags down, Animal ran his fingers along the edges of the door. Sure enough, the small piece of tape he always left on it had been tampered with. Drawing his gun, he slipped into his apartment.
Moving on the balls of his feet, he crept down the hall. He could hear the sounds of music coming from the living room, “The Lizard King” by The Doors, which filled him with rage. Not only had someone been foolish enough to break into his place, but they had fucked with his record collection. They were going to die, but he would take his time killing them. Ready to deliver the gift of death, Animal jumped out into the living room, gun drawn and finger on the trigger. He was quite surprised when he realized that he knew the intruder.
“You always did have strange tastes in music,” Tech said. He was standing by the window, smoking a blunt and reading the back of an album cover.
“Are you crazy? I could’ve killed you!” Animal barked.
“Doubt it. You always hesitate for a second before you pull the trigger,” Tech said as he exhaled the smoke. “That’s a habit you’re going to have to learn to break before it breaks you. Besides, sneaking in here seems like the only way I can get an audience with the high lord of abandoned buildings. You been avoiding me?”
“No.”
“Feels like it. You don’t return my calls and whenever I swing by, you always seem to be out. Knowing you the way I do, you probably watch me from the roof until I leave before slipping back in here.” Tech tossed the album cover onto the table. “How you been?”
Animal shrugged. “I’m hanging in.”
“I see you’ve done some shopping. I saw you with the bags when you jumped out of the cab.” Tech nodded to the window.
“Oh, yeah. I had to grab some stuff for the kids,” Animal told him.
“Since you needed a cab to get it here, must’ve been quite a bit of stuff.”
“What are you, my fucking parole officer?” Animal asked defensively.
“Calm yo’ little ass down. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with you. You’ve been moving real funny lately, and I’m starting to worry. That’s all.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“That’s never stopped me from listening to your problems before and trying to help you figure them out before, now has it? Talk to your big homie, blood.”
Animal searched for the words. “I don’t know, Tech. I just been feeling different lately, starting to question a lot of shit. What we do, how we live…”
“You thinking about hanging up your guns?” Tech asked.
“It’s the opposite actually. Ever since that shit happened with the old lady, I feel like I lose a little more of myself every time I do some dirt.”
“Ah, I see. That’s your soul dying off a little bit at a time,” Tech told him.
“Nigga, I’m trying to have a deep conversation and you’re making fun of me?” Animal’s voice flashed hurt.
“Not at all. I’m being serious. Look here, man, let me try and put this into perspective for you. Deep down we’re good people, but we do bad shit. I’d think something was wrong with you if you didn’t at least feel a little guilt. Ain’t no shame in that. What there is shame in, is you letting this shit eat away at you so deep that one day you’re sitting on the edge of that bed contemplating eating a bullet. Take it from someone who knows first-hand.”
“Get the fuck outta here!” Animal said in disbelief. For as long as he had known Tech, he always seemed so emotionally removed that Animal wondered if he was capable of feeling anything at all.
“Real shit, man. After Jah got killed, I went through a very dark period in my life. I didn’t have anyone around me to explain what was going on, so I had to figure it all out on my own. I was fighting the battle of my life between light and dark.”
“Which side won?” Animal asked.
Tech looked at him. “Do you really not know the answer to that question?”
“So, you’re telling me that I should give into these urges?”
“I can’t tell you which way to jump, because it’s your life. What I can tell you is that I’ve seen a lot of dudes try and straddle both sides of the fence and it never ends well. You have to either embrace that little monster whispering sweet nothings in your ear, or put him in a box and don’t ever look back. No matter which way you go, you’ll always be my friend, feel me?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Animal said as he nodded. Outside, the cab driver honked his horn. “Shit, I forgot I had him waiting. Why don’t you come with me to The Below to drop this stuff off?”
“You know I don’t fuck with them creepy ass kids,” Tech laughed.
“Blood, I don’t know why you’re so hard on them kids and they’re just like we were a few years ago,” Animal said.
“Nah, ain’t too many like us, baby bro. We’re the last of a dying breed.”
“You’re right about that. Well I’ll be done with them in a few hours, so let’s hook up tonight and do something.”
Tech was about to agree, but then remembered he had to meet Jewels and Pietro. “Nah, tonight is no good.”
“What’s more important than kicking it with your dawg?” Animal wanted to know.
“I kinda got a date,” Tech half-lied.
This caught Animal by surprise, as he had never known Tech for anything but one-night stands. “Damn, this must be some special broad.”
“I ain’t sure yet, but I’d like to find out. Tell you what; how about we meet in the morning for breakfast and I’ll tell you all about her?” Tech suggested.
“Sounds like a plan,” Animal agreed.
The taxi horn blared again.
“Let me get out of here before I have to shoot this nigga,” Animal said as he headed for the door. “Oh and Tech, thanks for the talk.”
“We all we got.” Tech saluted him.
“Indeed,” Animal said as he returned the gesture before heading out.
Neither of them knew it at the time, but when their paths would next cross, nothing would be the same.
The taxi Animal was riding in hit an unexpected wall of traffic. It seemed to be backed up for blocks and it was starting to irritate him. “Damn, man, can’t you go around this shit?” He was thinking about the ice cream in the bag, which was surely starting to melt by that point.
“I wish I could. Looks like there’s something going on down there,” the taxi driver said, beating his horn.
“Fuck it. I’m only a few blocks away. I can walk from here.” Animal paid the driver and got out with his bags.
Now that Animal was on the sidewalk, he had a better view of what was going on. In the distance, he could see the flashing lights of police and fire trucks and smell the smoke. One of the buildings appeared to be on fire. As he got closer he realized it wasn’t just any building, but his building! Dropping the bags, Animal ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. People stood around spectating as the fire fighters fought to put out the blaze. “Move! Move!” he yelled as he shoved his way through the crowd. He had just broken the ring of people when a cop grabbed him.
“Stay back, please!” the cop instructed as he shoved him.
“But you don’t understand…”Animal tried to explain, but the cop cut him off.
“No, you don’t understand. This is a dangerous situation and I need you to get back!”
“Fuck this shit!” Animal slipped passed the cop and made the mad dash for the police tape.
“Hey!” the cop called after him, but Animal kept going.
“Please God,” Animal prayed under his breath, but when he made it through the tape, he knew that God hadn’t heard him. “No!” Animal dropped to his knees as he saw one of the EMT’s bring out a body bag and place it on the ground next to the half dozen or so already lining the sidewalk. Animal was so overcome with grief that he was dizzy. When he thought of the children who had been inside and how horribly they died, his heart shattered into a million pieces.
“Big homie?” he heard a voice behind him. He turned around hopefully and saw Ashanti sitting on the back of one of the ambulances with an oxygen mask over his face.
Animal rushed over to Ashanti and hugged him as tight as he could. He had never in his life been so happy to see his mischievous little friend. His eyes were red and his body covered with soot. “What happened?”
“I don’t even know, man. I went to the store to get some candy and while I was walking back I seen some white dudes come running out. That was right before the explosion knocked my ass out,” Ashanti recalled. “When I woke up, I was in the back of this ambulance.”
“Damn,” Animal lowered his head. “How many made it out?”
“None that I can tell,” Ashanti began sobbing. “This shit is fucked up, man. Who would do something like this to a bunch of kids?”
Ashanti continued speaking, but Animal had checked out. He replayed Ashanti’s account of what happened over in his head and one phrase kept jumping out at him - “Some white guys.” What were the chances that less than twenty-four hours after Tommy had sent him to kill Nicky, that a group of white men would venture into Harlem and burn down a building that held no meaning to anyone except Animal? This was no coincidence. As Animal stood there watching the paramedics zipping bags over the charred remains of his children, he couldn’t help but to feel like it was all his fault. He may not have lit the match, but he poured the gasoline. It was then that Tech’s words came back to him - “Either embrace that monster whispering in your ear, or put it back in the cage and never look back.” Animal would indeed embrace his monster, and then he would unleash it on those responsible for this.