Dani couldn’t read anything from Ren’s expression. For a few seconds she wondered if she was wrong. She’d made a few leaps in deduction, but everything fit so perfectly, like puzzle pieces that you could never seem to find, and then, after picking up one piece, a dozen fell into place. Looking back, she could see how their paths had crossed and recrossed for months, but each encounter had been defined by her misunderstanding of the reality. Funny, now that she knew, she had no trouble believing Ren and Raven were one and the same.
“How long have you known?” Ren said, her expression still a cipher.
“About a minute. Does that matter?”
“Oh, I think so,” Ren said, an undertone of suspicion making Dani’s spine stiffen. “From the minute we met, I’ve told you every single thing I’ve felt about what was happening. I revealed every single uncertainty and…other things, only I didn’t know I was telling the person I was having those feelings about.”
“That street runs both ways,” Dani said reasonably, but she understood Ren’s reaction. People—she—said things to friends she might not say to someone else, especially when those things were about that person. But they couldn’t undo what they’d said, either of them. “And besides, you told Axe.”
Ren waved a hand. “I don’t think it’s the time for semantics.”
“Neither do I,” Dani said, surprising herself at the temper in her tone. She hadn’t realized she was angry, and she wasn’t entirely certain why she was. “You haven’t actually told me very much at all. But you told someone else, a stranger.”
Ren leaned back against Dani’s gaming table, one hand resting on the surface, a few inches from her main console. “That’s not exactly the case, is it? Raven and Axe are not strangers.”
“They’re not real,” Dani said, even as she inwardly protested that was not true.
“Of course they’re real,” Ren said with maddening calmness. “We’re real, and they’re part of us.”
“You trusted her more than me.”
Ren smiled, and the light returned to her eyes. “Dani, I trusted Axe because she is you. I might not have known that, but I know Axe is funny and kind and a good listener. And she looks at both sides of an issue. She’s fair. And…she likes me. She never once found anything I said or thought strange.”
“You feel that way about me?” Dani asked softly.
“Of course. I haven’t told Axe anything that I haven’t told you.”
Dani let out a long breath. “I can’t believe I’m jealous of…myself.”
Ren laughed and looked pleased. “You’re jealous?”
“Well yeah. I can’t remember everything precisely that Axe and Raven have discussed, but you know, you’ve been hanging out with her for months, when it could have been…me.”
“Dani, it was you.” Ren caught her bottom lip for an instant, the little habit she had when she was struggling to sort out her feelings. “It’s always been you.”
“But I didn’t know it.”
“Do you now?”
Dani took a deep breath and all her anxiety melted away. Ren was incapable of subterfuge or half-truths. The consummate gamer never played games. “I believe you, and I’m very, very glad.”
“Good.” Ren tilted her head, a teasing note in her voice. “So, how do you feel about Raven now?”
“Are you kidding me? Raven is amazing. Besides Zoey, she’s my closest friend.” Dani stopped and stared. “I’ve felt that way for a long time—before we, you know, found each other. Found out more about each other. I don’t want to lose that.”
Ren pushed away from the gaming table and draped her arms carefully around Dani’s neck. “We won’t. We can’t. We’re us, Dani. We just learned some things earlier than we realized. And we’ll learn more every day.”
“Yeah, we will.” Dani kissed her softly. “Raven’s the best gamer I’ve met. You are the best. How come you never said anything?”
“Because it’s not part of what we do every day. It hasn’t been what I do every day for more than ten years, I guess.”
“You think we’ll ever game again?”
“I hope so. I mean, you know, I really like Axe.”
The teasing note was back in Ren’s voice, and Dani couldn’t find a single thing to worry about. She settled both hands on Ren’s hips, letting her thumbs rest along the crest of Ren’s hipbones. Slowly, she traced the delicate curves beneath the stretch of her linen shorts. “You like Axe a lot, huh? More than me?”
Ren leaned into Dani’s hands and met her gaze. “I’ve never liked anyone as much as you.”
Dani eased away, and a question came into Ren’s eyes. “I’m going to close my bedroom door now. Unless you want to leave, when I’m done, we should lie down on the bed.”
Ren dropped her arms and backed toward the bed. “You should get the door, then.”
In the ten seconds it took Dani to get to the door and turn back around, Ren had settled on the edge of the bed, her sandals off already, in the same pose she’d been in on the porch—leaning back on her arms, legs casually stretched out before her, an appraising expression as if she was saying, What do you plan to do next?
Dani moved over to her, one slow, deliberate step at a time, and eased between Ren’s thighs, leaning down until her torso and Ren’s nearly touched and her arms rested on the bed, framing Ren’s body. Ren’s cheeks colored ever so faintly, and her breath hitched. Dani whispered in answer to the unspoken question.
“I intend to kiss you, for quite a long time. Then I intend to help you out of your clothes, and then I intend to explore with my hands and my mouth all the places you like to be kissed. Then I’ll do whatever you want.”
Ren grabbed the bottom of Dani’s T-shirt and tugged it up, exposing Dani’s stomach. She pressed her palm flat against her midsection, making Dani’s muscles quiver. “Those are a lot of intentions, and it sounds like that might take a long time. I had something a little faster in mind.”
With her other hand, she pushed Dani away and tugged Dani’s T-shirt up all the way. Dani automatically lifted her arms and found herself naked before she was entirely certain what was happening. Grinning, she grasped Ren’s forearms and pulled her upright. So much for going slow—there were other ways to tease. She kissed Ren exactly the way she’d intended—with deep, devouring kisses that said I want you, I can’t get enough of you, I might not stop until you can’t think…breathe…remember your name—all the while undressing her, her hands moving on autopilot as her mouth coursed over Ren’s. Her fatigue vanished, replaced by hunger as Ren kissed her back with fierceness of her own, her teeth scraping over Dani’s lip, one hand spread in the curve of her spine, pulling her closer until their legs entwined.
Dani lifted Ren’s tank up over her arms and freed her of the last bit of clothing. She took in what her hands had explored, and places deep inside her quivered. “You look…amazing.”
“So do you.” Ren pressed her mouth against Dani’s breast, her lips like silk. Her mouth so soft, so almost not there…until she skimmed Dani’s nipple with her teeth.
The heat was a torch setting Dani on fire. Her head snapped back, and she swallowed a groan. She stayed upright as long as she could, her legs trembling, pressure coalescing in the pit of her stomach, throbbing between her thighs. “You’re making me crazy hot, Ren. I need…hell, I need you to…”
“I need something too,” Ren said in a husky voice Dani barely recognized. Ren went to her knees by the side of the bed, her forearms clasping Dani’s hips, holding her upright, and kissed Dani’s stomach.
“Ah, hell.” Dani closed her eyes.
When Ren kissed her way lower, all the way lower, and skimmed her lips over Dani’s clit, Dani swayed. Her vision tunneled, and she grabbed Ren’s shoulder to steady herself. “I don’t think I can stand up if you do that.”
“Should I stop?”
“Fuck, no—just—wait a min—”
Ren might’ve heard, but if she did, she didn’t seem to care. Her hands floated up and down Dani’s back, shaping the curves of her muscles down her back and butt, all the time pulling Dani ever tighter against her mouth.
“Oh damn, Ren,” Dani moaned, and the hard core of her sex shattered, sending a thousand shards of light cascading outward, spearing her senses with pleasure. She sagged forward and just managed to catch herself with one arm outstretched against the bed, nearly pinning Ren beneath her.
“Sorry,” she mumbled and rolled onto her side, finally managing to get all the way onto the bed. She lay on her back, gasping as Ren stretched out beside her. She turned her head and met Ren’s satisfied gaze. She grinned, still riding the last crests of a very awesome climax. “That was…most excellent.”
Ren laughed. “I believe the phrase is Atta girl. Nice job.”
Dani laughed at the standing OR joke and wrapped an arm around Ren’s shoulders, drawing her against her side. “Better than that, even. You destroyed me.”
“Mm. Very excellent then.” Ren ran her fingers through Dani’s hair and whispered, “As soon as you catch your breath, I’d really like you to make me come.” She traced a line down the center of Dani’s body with one fingertip, stopping just below her navel, leaving Dani’s skin ablaze. “If that’s still your intention.”
“Oh yeah. It so totally is.” A jolt of adrenaline brought Dani upright, and an instant later she knelt on the bed, slipping her hand between Ren’s thighs. “I want to watch you come.”
“It won’t be long,” Ren said, raising her hips.
Dani kissed her and kept kissing her as she filled her. Silk and flame surrounded her, engulfed her, drawing her deeper with every stroke. Ren gripped her sides, her nails pressing crescents into her skin, each point so erotic Dani’s stomach clenched. Ren rocked to meet her every stroke, until with a sharp cry, her back bowed and she shuddered.
The sound stole Dani’s breath. She didn’t breathe again until Ren grew soft around her and smiled.
“Thank you,” Ren murmured.
Dani laughed unsteadily, still nearly breathless. “Oh, believe me, I’m the one who’s thankful.” She relaxed beside her and looped an arm around her middle. “You are so sexy. I want to do that again. I love making you come.”
Ren grinned. “That works for me. Making you come makes me want to come.”
“We could keep that going for a while, then.” Dani pulled Ren closer and fought to stay awake. “Just a minute.”
“You should sleep,” Ren said. “We can wait.”
“Don’t leave,” Dani mumbled.
Ren rested her palm on Dani’s chest and her cheek in the curve of Dani’s shoulder. “I won’t.”
* * *
Ren’s internal alarm woke her about four. The room was dark, and the house was silent except for the rhythmic sound of Dani’s breathing and the steady cadence of her heart beating beneath Ren’s cheek. She lay with her head on Dani’s chest and an arm around her middle. She’d never slept in such an intimate position before. The first night they’d spent together, they’d hardly slept at all, and the unnaturalness of actually sleeping next to someone had kept her restless and on the verge of waking. Last night, she’d slept soundly, a dreamless sleep. Dani’s skin was warm beneath her palm, and she slowly traced the curve of her side until her hand rested on Dani’s hip.
“Hi,” Dani said in the darkness and brushed a kiss against her hair.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up doing that?”
“I don’t think so,” Dani said. “If you did, I don’t mind. I like it when you touch me.”
Ren smiled. “Do you? I like touching you. Especially like this, when we’re in bed in the dark. It’s as if there is no one else in the world except us.”
“What about the rest of what we do in the dark? Do you like that too?”
“The sex?” Ren chuckled. “Yes, I like that quite a lot. I just assumed you could tell.”
“I was hoping…” Dani blew out a breath. “I don’t want this to be the last time we wake up together. I like you, more than like. You’re pretty much all I think about.”
“Do you think that’s a good thing,” Ren asked, “because I spend a lot of time thinking about you too. And that’s…different. And sometimes I worry.”
“You know, one of the things I like about you,” Dani said, turning on her side so their bodies touched, front to front. Her arm came around Ren’s waist, and her hand drifted down to the curve of Ren’s spine, her touch familiar and still so new. “You say what you’re feeling, and you don’t worry about how I’ll take it. At least, you don’t try to make it into something you think I’ll want to hear. Or not hear.”
“That sounds terrible,” Ren said. “I don’t mean to act like I don’t care. I do. I never want to hurt you, and I’m afraid I might.”
“You can’t hurt me by being honest, Ren,” Dani said. “Disappoint me, for sure. Because I will be really, really, seriously disappointed if you don’t want to see me again. I already have a lot of feelings for you, and it would be hard for me to get past those, if it turns out you don’t have any kind of feelings for me. But I still need to know what you feel.”
“I would be very unhappy if I didn’t have a chance to be with you like this again,” Ren said, inching her way through the tangle of fears and uncertainties, like she would in a darkened hallway with her fingers lightly tracing the surface of the wall to orient herself. She could so easily get lost in the not knowing, but she’d been in those places many times in her life. She’d never shied away from the not knowing. This time was different, but what she needed to learn felt every bit as important as every other pivotal moment in her life. “I need to learn how to be comfortable with this other thing in my life.”
“Other thing?” Dani said gently.
Ren laughed. “You. You are the thing.”
Dani kissed her. “I like being your thing.”
“Dani,” Ren said, “I’m serious here.”
“So am I. If anybody’s going to turn your world upside down, I want it to be me. But only in a good way.”
“I think it’s a good way,” Ren said. “You understand me, what I need to do. What the future looks like, because you’re living it too. You know how hard this year is going to be. And the next year. And maybe every year after that.”
“I know we both made decisions a long time ago that got us to this point. Some things will be hard, and sometimes we’ll be challenged.” Dani shrugged. “That’s nothing new.”
“Being in a relationship will change things,” Ren said. “Not just for us personally. There’s still the Franklin to think about.”
Dani blew out a breath. “Yeah, well, we’re in the same year, which makes us competitors, and we can’t change that. At least we know we’re evenly matched.”
“Axe and Raven might be,” Ren said softly, “but I’m not sure we are, not in this.”
“Are you saying you want to wait until this year is over to…be with me?” Dani asked cautiously.
Ren sat up and pulled the sheets up to her chest. “I don’t want to make a mistake, and I’m not used to not being sure.”
“I understand. I didn’t figure on this. Neither did you.” Dani pulled Ren closer and kissed her again. “I’m not going anywhere. Just so you know.”
Ren let herself drift in the warmth of Dani’s body and the quick surge of arousal that followed her kisses for a few minutes before she drew away. “I need to get to the hospital.”
“You start early,” Dani said, but she made no move to draw her into another kiss.
“And you should probably catch another hour of sleep.”
“Maybe, but I think I’d rather have coffee. I need to check in with my residents too. We can go in together.”
Ren smiled as she searched for her clothes. “There might be talk.”
“Yeah. Do you mind?”
She heard the uncertainty in Dani’s voice and hated that she’d caused it. She wished she could just…be, but when she looked ahead, she couldn’t see a clear path. Not the way she always had—but then, she’d always been the only one on the road. But maybe sometimes, there was more than one path to follow. Maybe. Dani sat on the bed, watching her intently. Ren kissed her. “I don’t mind at all. Let’s go to work.”