Toby

I went back out on the porch. They were still waiting there, obedient, Ralph holding the wagon handle, Lou at the other end ready to push. Only one thing wrong, one little thing.

My toast was missing.

There were four pieces left when I went in the house—I was planning to take them with me, to tide me over—and now there were just some crumbs on the plate.

What did I tell you about those two?

They were both looking at me all innocent, except for the streaks of jam around their mouths, and the little one even had her cheeks still bulging out.

I shook my head. I just stood there shaking my head, like it made me sad, you know? The way some people can’t be trusted? It made me very sad, it really did.

I gave a sad sigh and came on down and walked on over to the wagon, telling them, “Guess what, people. You just spent your dime.”

They didn’t say anything, either one.

I got in the wagon. My butt just fit. “All right,” I said. “Let’s roll.”

Ralph tried pulling normal, but that didn’t work. He had to walk backwards, both hands on the handle, leaning back as far as he could, while behind me the little one was grunting and groaning away. It’s only a couple of blocks but it was going to take a while, grinding along, which was fine with me.

This was nice.

Sitting there with my knees up, looking around, I was thinking how great it would be if I was, like, emperor, you know?

Emperor Tobias.

I think I’d make a pretty good one.