Toby

“Right along here is fine,” I told them.

We were finally there, at the vacant lot. Morgan’s Drugs is just past it and I didn’t want Mr. Morgan to see me being rolled up to the door. He’d have something sarcastic to say. He’s always very sarcastic with me, especially about my size. He’s sort of what you call an asshole.

So I got out at the vacant lot. Boy I hate that place, especially on a day like this, where you’ve got this great big empty vacant lot underneath this great big empty vacant sky—makes me want to hold on to something, you know? Before I disappear.

My little helpers stood there catching their breath, all red and sweaty. I told them go ahead and look for bottles while I get my cards, then we’ll start heading back. I had to laugh, the look on the little one’s face when I said that. I guess she forgot this was a round trip.

“Happy hunting,” I told them.

The drug store turned out to be kind of crowded, everyone buying survival stuff: band-aids and aspirin and duct tape and toilet paper.

You gotta chuckle.

I grabbed a pack of baseball cards from the shelf by the counter and told everyone in line, “I’m sorry, please excuse me, I have a condition,” and butted in behind the first person. Nobody said anything. They could see I was sincere.

“A ‘condition?’” Mr. Morgan said when I stepped up. He had this little smirk. “Is that what you’ve got? A ‘condition?’”

Mr. Morgan is the only grownup I know who wears a bow tie, except of course for Soupy Sales.

I put the pack of cards on the counter and started digging in my pocket but he waved me away. “Take it, go on,” he said, like my business wasn’t important enough to bother with today.

I told him, “I got it,” and put the nickel on the counter.

He slid it back. “Keep it.”

“Take it,” I told him, and slid it back again.

“C’mon, let’s go,” the woman behind me said.

I turned all the way around and looked at her. “Excuse me?”

“Let’s go,” she said, right in my face.

Fine. I took my nickel and cards and walked to the door. I felt like turning around and yelling, What’s the matter, people? Afraid of a little bomb? A little hydrogen bomb? But all I did was walk out shaking my head, like it made me sad, so sad.

I was wishing the Russians would hurry up and get it over with. I was sick of everyone acting like it was the end of the world, which maybe it was, but so what, you know? So what?