Amelia had taken a shower, washed her hair, put on clean clothes, and had gathered the last scraps of energy she could muster to go out for a coffee down the street, only to find her regular coffee shop closed. There was no explanation posted on the door as to why, nor a reopening date. Amelia hoped it was just for today.
Since she was out and about, she decided to go for a stroll. It was a lovely late-spring day. And she needed coffee. Every coffee shop she passed—and there were quite a few in her neighborhood—she debated whether to stop and go in, but she didn’t. To her surprise, she was enjoying her walk. The fresh air. The sight of other people. The buzz of Sydney. It didn’t appall her the way it had last time she had ventured out for errands. Maybe because today she had no errands to run. She was simply out for the sake of it. While it had been hard to get herself out the door, now that she was, she enjoyed the light breeze wafting through her hair. She smiled at the dogs out on a walk with their owners and silently acquiesced to her inner voice saying she should really get a dog of her own.
Amelia had walked quite a few blocks, meandering this way and that, when she realized she was on the street of Jill’s office. She hadn’t taken the direct route she used when going to an appointment. Yet, this was where she had ended up. Was it some subconscious thing? Because those two sessions with Jill had given her a glimmer of hope and a tiny boost of energy? Maybe starting therapy was the very reason she was even able to leave her house this afternoon. Jill should know a thing or two about the subconscious. Amelia made a mental note to ask her next time she saw her, which was in three days.
When she’d come to her appointments, Amelia had noticed the coffee shop next to Jill’s office. She might as well go for a coffee there. She walked in and queued. There were two people in front of her. She spotted the sign above the counter. The Pink Bean. What an odd name. Then she noticed the rainbow sticker just below the counter. Ah, it was an LGBTQ+ thing. That made more sense. She checked out the girl behind the counter. Hm, maybe. Amelia’s gaydar hadn’t had a lot of practice lately. Except with Sophia. But that wasn’t even a matter of gaydar, what with the unmistakable way she was coming on to Amelia.
When it was her turn, Amelia ordered a cappuccino. She eyed the barista while she prepared the beverage. Either way, she was too young for Amelia’s 40+ soccer league. But, if she did run with the idea, as Jill had advised her to, this coffee shop could be a good place to recruit.
Amelia found a table in the front. The weather was warm enough for all the windows to be open. She glanced backward to check out the clientele. A few young mothers with prams. A twenty-something guy with a man-bun working on his laptop. Two middle-aged women deep in conversation. Somehow, they didn’t look like they would be into soccer. Then again, Amelia had heard that said about herself so many times, and she was so into soccer, sometimes, it was hard to find her way out. To think of something else for a change.
She sipped from her cappuccino. The coffee was damn good here. She would remember that. Maybe, before her next therapy session, she should come early and have one. It might give her some more energy to tackle therapy with. She couldn’t help but wonder what her therapist thought of her. But surely, in her line of work, Jill met all sorts of people in different kinds of conditions. If anything, in her therapist’s office was exactly where Amelia could just let it all out. She didn’t have to pretend to be full of life in front of Jill. That was the whole point.
From the corner of her eye, she saw someone walk into the shop. Even though Amelia didn’t get a good look, the figure seemed familiar. Speak of the devil. It was Jill.
Amelia felt like she was spying on her as Jill headed to the counter and placed her order. Should she say something? What was the protocol in these circumstances? Jill chatted with the barista as if she knew her pretty well. She probably came here all the time.
One of the middle-aged women called to Jill and asked her to join them at their table. Jill waved them off and pointed at her laptop. Then, her gaze must have landed on Amelia. Something in her eyes changed. A sort of stunned look came over her—as though it was highly improbable that she would ever run into a client in this particular coffee shop, despite it being right next door to her office. Only then did Jill’s lips curl into a smile. She gave Amelia a nod of recognition. Amelia smiled and nodded back. She would let Jill take the lead on how to handle this situation.
Jill’s coffee was ready, and Amelia averted her gaze. It was hard to relax though, now that she knew Jill was somewhere inside the coffee shop.
“Hey.” Not somewhere inside, then. She was right behind Amelia.
Amelia glanced up at her. “Hi.”
“I didn’t want you to feel awkward or anything.” Jill followed up with a weird kind of chuckle. “And I wanted to say hello, of course.”
“Sure.” If it had been anyone else, Amelia would have invited them to join her without even giving it a second thought. But Jill was her therapist. “Hello.” She flashed Jill a smile. “How are you?”
“Um, yeah, fine.” Was Amelia imagining things or did Jill look flustered? Maybe she was meeting someone. She could be blushing for a million different reasons Amelia knew nothing about. Amelia opened up to Jill but the nature of their relationship precluded any reciprocity. “Um.” Jill shifted her weight around. The cup and saucer she held rattled, as though her hands were shaking. “Can I sit with you for a minute, Amelia?”
“Of course.” Amelia drew her chair back and made room for Jill to pass. “Be my guest.”
Jill glanced around as though she was about to confide a secret in Amelia. If she didn’t look exactly like Dr. Jill Becket, Amelia’s psychiatrist, the woman she had gone to see twice in the past two weeks, Amelia would have thought the woman sitting across from her was a different person. What was going on here? Why was Jill acting all cagey?
“Are you okay, Jill?”
Jill nodded unconvincingly. “I need to talk to you about something, but, on second thought, I’m not sure this is the right time or place.”
Amelia tilted her head. “Is it about my therapy?”
“Never mind.” Jill waved her hand about. “We’ll talk about it in your next session.” She seemed to relax a little. “How are you?” She locked her gaze on Amelia’s for an instant, but looked away again quickly.
“I’m having a pretty good day today, actually.”
“That’s great.” Jill sipped from her tiny espresso cup. “Do you come here often?”
“No. My regular coffee shop is closed and I ended up here somehow.” Amelia leaned over the table. In Jill’s office, the chairs were set up at a respectable distance. “Is it just my imagination or is this place rather gay?”
“I’m not sure what exactly makes a coffee shop ‘gay’,” Jill said. She seemed to have possession of all her confidence again. “But the Pink Bean is definitely LGBTQ-friendly.”
“It’s just the name and the rainbow sticker and… I don’t know. The vibe, I guess.”
“The owners are lesbians,” Jill said. “They often organize evening activities that are quite queer-inspired.”
“Right.” So Amelia had been correct. Maybe something else had awakened inside her. “You must come here often, what with your office being next door.”
“We only moved our practice here six months ago, but yes, since then, my caffeine consumption has reached staggering heights.” As though to prove a point, she downed the rest of her coffee.
“It’s a lovely place,” Amelia said. “The coffee is to die for.”
“A million times better than my Nespresso machine next door.” Jill smiled a different kind of smile now. It wasn’t one of her professional therapy-smiles, at least not one Amelia could remember seeing. “I should leave you to it, Amelia.”
“It’s fine. If this isn’t inappropriate, of course.” She glanced at Jill’s laptop. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from your work.” She remembered how Jill had gestured at the two women who had beckoned her to sit with them earlier, indicating she had work to do.
“It’s unusual, but on the other hand, it’s only normal that I would bump into a client now and then, especially someone who lives locally. How was soccer this weekend?”
“The game was a draw. One nice save from yours truly. I did let one slip through, though.” She appreciated Jill asking. Amelia did understand why this was unusual. Jill had information about her that allowed her to ask personal questions, while Amelia knew nothing about Jill. She didn’t even know if it was okay to inquire.
“And Sophia?” Jill had painted a proper grin on now.
“She scored, so…” Amelia grinned back.
Jill leaned back. For some reason, she heaved a sigh. “I need to get back to the office, Amelia. Lovely seeing you.” And just like that, as though something urgent had just occurred to her, she rose and left.