“You should kiss me again straight away,” Jill said. “Because I might just have recruited someone for your 40+ soccer team.”
“Really?” Amelia needed no incentive to kiss Jill again, so she did, although she was also very curious about her prospective future teammate.
“Her name’s Hera and… she’s a former client,” Jill said.
“Hm.” Amelia toyed with Jill’s hand. “Do I detect some sort of pattern here?”
“I’ve no idea what you’re referring to.” Jill batted her lashes ostentatiously.
“What team does she belong to?” Amelia was much more interested in finding out about this Hera than in teasing Jill.
“None. She hasn’t played in a while.”
“But she has experience?”
“Yes. Is that an absolute requirement?” Jill asked.
“Beggars can’t be choosers, I guess, but it’s a plus. I can hardly afford to organize tryouts, can I? There isn’t exactly a queue of women over forty eager to join a new soccer team.”
“How about I bring her to your next home game?”
“You and a possible new teammate ogling me from the sidelines. I can hardly wait.” Amelia kissed Jill again. Her interest in kissing Jill—and what came after that—was growing and growing. “It’s lovely that you’ve been recruiting for me. It makes me feel so… cared for.”
“I happen to care for you a great deal.”
“Is that why you came tonight?” Amelia made sure her voice sounded extra sultry—she had noticed how Jill seemed to go all soft at that. “To care for me?”
Jill nodded. “In any way you want me to.”
Before Amelia kissed Jill again, she paused… “I—um.” She found Jill’s gaze. “Previous experience has taught me that addressing this subject with you can be a bit… explosive, so I must be careful.”
“What do you mean?” Jill grinned.
“Last Sunday, the day after our wonderful date I… tried touching myself again.” It was a pure delight to study Jill’s face while confiding this. It wasn’t difficult and awkward like the first time Amelia had tried talking to Jill about masturbation—when she’d still been Jill’s client and Jill had had to excuse herself because her lovestruck brain hadn’t been able to process the information. “I can confirm that everything’s very much in working order.”
“You’re right. Previously, I haven’t dealt with you talking about this very well. On the contrary. But I’m a different person now. I’ve kissed you. I’ve wooed you. And I have a plan for you.”
Amelia’s delight only grew. “A plan? What do you mean?”
“You’ll see, but—” The grin slipped off Jill’s lips. “Seriously, Amelia. We will only do this if and when you’re sure you’re ready. I’m not here to push you into anything.”
“Oh, I’m ready.” Amelia was more than ready for the real-life experience of all the things she had imagined Jill doing to her. And now she was talking about a plan? “Every last cell in my body is so very ready.” She pulled Jill close. “How about you?”
“I am, too.” Jill’s voice was solemn. “I’m so in love with you, Amelia.” Her voice wavered a touch. “I’m pretty much beside myself to be here with you right now.”
“I guess the fact that you have a plan speaks of your eagerness.” Amelia pressed her lips to the soft patch of skin just below Jill’s ear. “If we’re both ready,” she whispered. “Let’s go to the bedroom.”
Amelia could claim to be ready all she wanted. She might have been able to bring herself to climax after a relaxing hot bath and while her blood was still suffused with feel-good hormones from her evening with Jill. But opening herself up to another woman, body and soul, might still very well be a hurdle she couldn’t take on. She would only know for sure if she tried—and she really wanted to try. With Jill. She trusted Jill and there was no doubt about Jill’s feelings for her. And Jill had a plan.
The first part of Jill’s plan, apparently, consisted of them kissing profusely against the bedroom door—nothing Amelia wouldn’t have planned herself.
“Can I get your explicit permission to take the lead on this?” Jill asked, after she’d caught her breath.
Amelia couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m sorry, but no one has ever asked me that before.”
“I’m making a mental note as we speak to dig deeper into that later.” Jill put her hands on Amelia’s sides. “Much later.” She hooked her fingers under Amelia’s jeans.
“You have my permission for everything.” The touch of Jill’s fingers on the sensitive skin there made Amelia’s breath halt in her throat.
Jill responded by gently dragging the back of her fingers over Amelia’s belly along the edge of her jeans. She stopped at the button, then flipped it open.
Whatever Jill’s plan was, Amelia hoped it took into consideration that she hadn’t been touched like this in a long time. And the last time she had been touched in a sexual way, it hadn’t been by someone like Jill. Amelia had only had a few sessions of therapy, but they were enough for her to guess that her previous selection of bed partners had been yet another way in which she chose not to nourish herself. Already, with Jill, it felt so different. Like an act that would give something vital back to her instead of taking from her, that would restore her instead of leaving her emptier than before.
Jill’s words echoed in the back of her mind. I’m so in love with you. Amelia hadn’t said it out loud, but her reply was just as clear in her head: right back at you.
Jill unzipped Amelia’s jeans. Her breasts pressed against Amelia’s. Their lips found each other again and again. Amelia was starting to wonder what she’d been so worried about. Had she really pulled away from Jill mere days ago? The madness of it. But she had to trust that she’d done it for the right reasons—that she hadn’t been ready. She was ready now.
Jill tugged at Amelia’s jeans.
Suddenly, her jeans were an unbearable barrier, and Amelia gladly gave her a hand to remove them. Once she’d stepped out of her shoes and jeans, Amelia went to work on Jill’s clothes. Soon, they were naked from the waist down, only protected by the sheer fabric of their panties. Amelia had dug up a pair of fancy ones she hadn’t worn in months, but she’d guessed, correctly, that tonight, the occasion called for it.
She tried to pay attention to Jill’s underwear—maroon silk, she thought—but she only had eyes for her face. Something in Jill’s expression had changed. Her gaze was dominated by sheer hunger, her parted lips and narrowed eyes screamed out how much she wanted Amelia.
Amelia had previously felt wanted in her life, and she had never thought of herself as undesirable, but there was something magical about Jill, whom she had allowed a glimpse into the darkness of her soul, wanting her like this. The magic existed solely because it was the two of them together, the combination of their selves, their stories, and what had brought them together.
Jill pulled Amelia toward the bed.
Did the fact Jill had asked ‘to take charge’ mean Amelia had to restrain herself from doing exactly what she wanted to do? After they’d tumbled onto the bed, she’d wanted to get Jill’s top off her as quickly as possible. Amelia wanted to see more of her. She wanted to run a finger along the cup of Jill’s bra. She wanted to hold her breasts in her hands. But Amelia decided she would trust in Jill’s judgment. Besides, it was a lovely feeling to be in bed with someone whose main aim appeared to be taking care of her.
Jill’s fingers skimmed over Amelia’s blouse and danced around the buttons.
Faster. Amelia decided to speed things along by pulling it over her head instead of having Jill slowly unbutton it. Too bad if that wasn’t part of Jill’s plan.
“Jesus.” Jill had stilled somewhat. The expression on her face was still one of pure and utter want, however. “You’re so beautiful,” she murmured. She placed her hand on Amelia’s side and caressed her naked skin with two fingers, before skating them up toward the swell of Amelia’s breast. Her fingertips dipped under the fabric of Amelia’s bra.
Amelia’s nipple reacted instantly, almost painfully, straining hard against the cup. She stopped herself from taking off her bra there and then. Instead, she focused on Jill again. On the lust in her glance—how could a woman who looked so overtaken by her own desire even stick to a plan? She focused on how much she wanted Amelia. How she clearly adored her. And on how Jill’s obvious adoration of her infused Amelia with a touch more regard for herself.
A gasp escaped Amelia’s throat as Jill’s fingertips retreated from Amelia’s bra and she made quick work of hoisting her own top over her head and tossing it somewhere into the room.
Jill’s bra matched her panties and Amelia took a few seconds to admire how the maroon lingerie contrasted so deliciously with Jill’s creamy skin. It was flattering that Jill had dressed up for her—with the very prospect of this in mind.
A haze blurred Amelia’s vision as Jill came for her again. It was all touch now as Jill folded her arms tightly around Amelia, as though she wanted to pull her as close as humanly possible. One minute they were kissing with Jill’s hands roaming wildly through Amelia’s hair; the next Jill was breathing into her ear, whispering how crazy Amelia was driving her.
Then, Jill pulled away. She took a deep breath, possibly to calm herself. She briefly closed her eyes, then studied Amelia’s bed. She sat back against the headboard, then held out her arms. “Come here, please,” she said, her voice thick with desire.
Amelia moved toward Jill, ready to press herself against Jill’s naked body again.
“Wait,” Jill whispered. “Turn around and lie in my arms with your back to me.”
This must be part of the plan. Amelia arched up her eyebrows. She didn’t want to look away from Jill. She wanted to see as much of her as possible.
“Please.” Jill’s glance emitted a plea so lusty and heartfelt, Amelia couldn’t help but obey. Jill was here for her but she was also there for Jill. They were in this bed together and for each other.
Heart pounding, Amelia swiveled her body around until she was sitting between Jill’s legs, with her back to her.
“Lean back,” Jill whispered.
Amelia lowered herself into Jill’s arms. The fabric of Jill’s bra was soft and enticing against the skin of her back.
“Close your eyes,” Jill said. “Just relax and enjoy.”
Amelia let her head rest on Jill’s shoulder feeling the puff of Jill’s breath on her cheek. Amelia allowed herself to relax, to stifle the self-consciousness that she felt at lying in this unfamiliar position in Jill’s arms. To just let go and trust in Jill.
Jill ran her fingertips over Amelia’s upper arms, leaving an expanse of goose bumps in their wake. Jill’s fingers gravitated toward Amelia’s breasts, but they stayed chastely above her bra this time around. Perhaps Jill had gotten a bit carried away earlier. Perhaps she had strayed from her plan. The thought brought a smile to Amelia’s lips. Maybe Amelia facing away from Jill was part of the plan, because the face always gave so much away. The downside was that Amelia couldn’t kiss Jill.
But wait… Jill’s fingertips travelled across Amelia’s neck, up to her jaw. She pressed against it and Amelia turned her head sideways, where her lips found Jill’s.
Amelia’s lips latched onto Jill’s, as though she never wanted them to break apart again. As though breathing in fresh air had become obsolete now that they had found each other, now that they were in bed together, and Jill’s other hand was roaming across Amelia’s cleavage, her fingertips straying in the direction of Amelia’s breasts, but not quite going there. The teasing of Jill’s fingers, mixed with the intensity of their kiss—which grew in fierceness again by the second—didn’t miss its mark on Amelia’s body. Every cell in her body was wide awake and alert to Jill’s touch.
Then Jill’s hand ventured lower. Her fingertips danced along the sensitive skin of Amelia’s inner thigh, before inching closer to her panties. But as with her breasts, Jill steered clear of Amelia’s hottest spots. She just let her fingers explore and tease and drive Amelia wilder as the seconds and minutes ticked along.
Amelia dug her own fingertips into Jill’s legs. Right now, it was only increasing desire coursing through her veins, but if Jill kept this up, it would soon turn into frustration. Although Amelia understood what Jill was trying to do. She was making sure Amelia’s body was as ready as her words had claimed. Jill must know like no other that sometimes words weren’t always accurate, that words sometimes lacked in what they could convey. That the real truth could be spoken only by the body—and Amelia’s body had suffered a burnout just as much as her brain had.
Arousal was as much in the mind as the body—Jill must know that. And Amelia’s desire might already be awakened, but Jill wanted to make sure Amelia’s body was on the same level as her desire. That it could react in a way that would bring her the most pleasure.
Jill perhaps wanted to reduce the risk of Amelia putting a stop to this because, in the end, she might not be as ready as she had believed herself to be. Jill was smart—just as smart as Amelia was when her brain was fully functioning. Maybe after tonight, after Jill had had her way with her, it might reach its peak again soon.
But that wasn’t why Amelia had invited Jill into her bedroom. She was here because Amelia wanted her and, ultimately, all the other stuff, when it came down to it, didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they were together, exposing their truest selves to each other.
The soft, unrelenting touch of Jill’s fingers made Amelia squirm. Her desire grew and grew. Underneath her panties, which Jill still seemed reluctant to touch, wetness gathered between Amelia’s legs. Her clit throbbed wildly.
She turned her face toward Jill again. Jill gazed down at her for an instant, then leaned in and kissed her. As their lips touched, Jill’s fingertips skated along Amelia’s panties. It was a featherlight touch, but Amelia felt it in every fiber of her being, it reverberated through the tiniest of her muscles, because Jill had been driving her crazy with her delicate caresses, full of intention but with no follow-through.
Amelia groaned into Jill’s mouth. Surely Jill must know how ready Amelia was—she was about to spontaneously combust.
But Jill kissed her again, her tongue as soft in Amelia’s mouth as her touch along her panties. While the sweep of Jill’s tongue inside Amelia’s mouth remained more tentative than claiming, her fingertips pressed a bit harder between Amelia’s legs. And then, finally, she drew a circle around Amelia’s aching clit.
Stars wheeled and danced in front of her eyes and she found it hard to focus. Her breath stopped in her throat. Her heart might as well have given out completely. She wanted Jill’s touch on her more than she wanted life itself. Admittedly, that was a slight exaggeration, but what was life without this? Without the flames of desire fanning high and wide inside of her, warming her muscles, breathing life back into her from her very core? Life had been colorless and utterly bland, until now, until it wasn’t anymore.
When Amelia closed her eyes, life blazed on the back of her eyelids in full technicolor. And Jill was only touching her clit above her panties.
“Please, Jill,” she breathed into her mouth. “I want to take them off.”
“Wait,” Jill whispered.
Before Amelia had a chance to complain, Jill moved her hand to the waistband of Amelia’s panties, and slipped it inside. The pulse that throbbed in her body picked up speed. Her heart hammered against her ribcage. She feared she might forget how to breathe altogether as Jill’s fingers inched closer to her clit. However, they bypassed it to dip even lower, between Amelia’s eager lips.
“You’re so wet,” Jill whispered, her voice a hoarse, desire-drenched croak. “Fuck.”
Amelia didn’t have the wherewithal to say, ‘yes please’, but she didn’t need to. Jill pressed herself against Amelia’s neck as her fingers slid inside Amelia’s wetness. Because of the position they were in, Jill’s fingers couldn’t thrust very deeply, but it was more than enough to lift Amelia onto an even higher plane of arousal.
There was no friction as Jill’s fingers slid upward through Amelia’s wetness, and Jill slowly circled Amelia’s clit.
Amelia’s muscles tensed. She wouldn’t need too many of those circles before she exploded into a massive climax. As if she could sense her heightened arousal—it was probably pretty obvious—Jill withdrew her fingertip all the way out of Amelia’s panties.
“I want to see you,” Jill said, as she gently pushed Amelia off her and maneuvered herself from behind Amelia “When I fuck you.”
Amelia didn’t wait for Jill to remove her panties. She threw them behind her somewhere, probably onto a pillow, and drew Jill on top of her. She wrapped Jill in her arms, drowning in the sensation of warmth and heat that having another person on top of her ignited. Amelia’s entire body pulsed with desire, screamed for some sort of release, yet in that moment, all she wanted to do was kiss Jill, let their tongues meet over and over again.
But Amelia was not in charge—she’d given all the power to Jill earlier when she had asked for it. And Jill’s hand drifted downward again, only briefly halting at Amelia’s still bra-clad breasts. Maybe she was saving the baring of Amelia’s chest for later. Maybe she wanted a touch of mystery to remain between them.
With a small, secret smile, Jill slipped off her, her warm body still glued to Amelia’s side. Her fingertips danced across Amelia’s inner thigh again, but they only teased her briefly this time around.
There was no way she would resist. Amelia spread her legs for Jill. The air between her legs roused another round of goose bumps on her skin.
Jill’s finger slipped through her wetness. She gave a few tentative strokes, sliding, gauging, lightly brushing Amelia’s clit, before her fingers slipped inside.
Amelia threw her head back into the pillows and her eyes fell shut, but she could still feel Jill’s gaze on her. It burned through her closed eyelids. It worked in tandem with the thrust of Jill’s fingers inside. Amelia placed her hand against Jill’s back and held on tight. This was nothing like the other day, after her bath, when she’d imagined Jill doing this exact thing to her. The difference was night and day. Not only because Amelia didn’t have to rely on her own imagination to create the sensation, but even more so because of the connection it forged between them. To let another woman in like this hadn’t been possible for Amelia while she’d been going through her dark spell. Did the fact that she was enjoying this so excruciatingly much mean that she was cured? That she could start looking forward again instead of disappearing into a sea of gloominess that always held her back?
Jill brought Amelia back into her body in a way that she hadn’t been able to achieve on her own. Amelia had always known that the body needed as much attention as the brain, which was one of the reasons she’d always latched onto soccer with such enthusiasm, and she trained just as hard as the forwards and the defenders, even though, as the goalkeeper, she could easily have afforded to slack off. But Jill pushing her fingers high inside her, was of another order of bodily ecstasy altogether. This, Amelia suspected, might be the very thing she needed to truly come back to herself. A woman like Jill taking care of her the way she had done since the first moment they’d met. A woman like Jill loving and adoring her. A woman like Jill to love and adore in return.
Jill amped up the energy of her strokes and brought her thumb into play, edging it along Amelia’s clit every time she drove deep inside her. Amelia opened her eyes, and found Jill’s eyes looking back at her, the gleaming blue of them, endless pools of compassion and lust. Jill’s mouth was slightly agape with effort. Her entire face was a mask of concentration, her entire being focused on one task only: making Amelia feel good.
A groan of pleasure came from her mouth. If there was any doubt left in her mind that she could do this, that she could tip over that imaginary edge of pure delight, it quickly disappeared as the first wave washed over her. Although entirely expected, its sheer force still took her by surprise. The power with which her muscles tensed and unclenched left her breathless, exhausted and utterly spent.
Amelia clamped hard around Jill’s dexterous fingers. She held them deep inside of her as pleasure engulfed her, relaxed and restored her. Tears gathered behind her eyes. Amelia might have taken sharing her bed with another woman for granted for the largest part of her adult life, but she no longer did so now. This thing with Jill was special. Amelia hadn’t been ready to let someone into her life and her bedroom, yet here she was. Here she lay, recovering after her first climax in a very long time brought about by another person. Amelia’s intuition gathered strength on the back of her climax and she knew, with a deep certainty, that Jill wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon.