“You can’t make him a steak.” Mary jerked back from the glass display as though there was a live cow mooing from the other side.
“Why not?” Elaine asked.
“Because any woman would make him a steak. That would show you are basic and not trying at all. The hard part of making a steak is picking the best cut from the butcher. So. if he wants to date the butcher, it’s a go. No one can screw up a steak. We want to show some effort.”
Elaine pushed her cart away from the red meat and came to the seafood section. “Scallops?”
“Oh, my gosh, no.” Mary slapped her forehead. “Do you want to have fish breath when he kisses you?”
No. Elaine definitely did not want fish breath. That would make him pull away from her, and she wanted Luke to pull her closer. She had been breathless after their first kiss. Heck, she’d been breathless during it.
She’d found herself collapsing into his chest and seeking refuge there. He’d held her to him. She’d never felt so safe, so secure. She wanted more of that.
What was happening between her and Luke, what was happening inside her, was scary. She’d seen scary when her parents fought. She’d seen warm when they were lovey-dovey.
Elaine didn’t want scary. She wanted warm and lovey-dovey. So, she put the scallops back.
“And nothing with garlic.” Mary smacked the back of Elaine’s hand, forcing her to drop the bulb of garlic back into its display basket.
“I like garlic,” Elaine said, cradling her hand. “I can’t believe there are this many rules to a dinner date. Why don’t I just text him what he wants.”
Mary slapped the cell phone out of Elaine’s hand. It clattered into the empty grocery cart. “Do not text him first. Do you want to seem eager?”
“I’m so confused?” Now Elaine cradled both of her hands to her chest, afraid of another rebuke from her friend. “I don’t want to seem that I’m trying hard, but I actually want to try. I don’t want to appear eager, even though I want him to kiss me again?”
“Yes,” sighed Mary, as though she’d just experienced a breakthrough with a dunce of a student. “Now, you’re getting it.”
Wow, dating was hard. No wonder Elaine had never bothered.
“Duck,” said Mary.
Elaine prepared to bend down and take cover. Then she saw the choice of meat in Mary’s hands. “You want me to make him a duck dish?”
“With rosemary potatoes and buttered green beans. It shows a bit of effort, that you like fine things, and aren’t cheap. But it also has a dash of homey and healthy baked in.”
“This is so complicated,” Elaine said, taking the duck and placing it into the basket.
“This is dating in the twenty-first century, honey.”
“You’re dating?” They looked up to find Juan. He wheeled a cart of mangos and avocados to a stop in front of them. “I’ve known you since we were kids. This guy has known you less than a week. Now, you’re going on a date with him?”
“Well … He knows me differently,” was all Elaine could manage to say. “He’s the first guy to make me want more than a friendship.”
She wanted the warm and safe, but she was willing to go through a bit of scary to get to it. She was willing to break her routine. But not who she was.
Elaine picked up the garlic bulb and tossed it into the cart in the face of Mary’s ire. Luke had been patient with her. He’d accepted her with all her quirks. So, she was not going to hide the fact that she liked garlic. Besides, two garlic mouths canceled each other out. Right?
After leaving a dejected Juan, and a scowling Mary, Elaine went home and began cooking the garlic and rosemary duck dish. She also broke Mary’s rule and texted Luke.
He didn’t respond immediately. But she supposed he was driving. That was a good sign, he didn’t text and drive.
The duck came out perfectly. She set the table with a set of mismatched dishes. Over the years, her mom had broken each set her dad brought home.
Elaine dimmed the lights. She had just enough time to change and touch her makeup up. Pulling open the bathroom door, she noted the crack in the wood from a time when her mother slammed it in her father’s face and refused to come out all day.
Elaine stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She had her mother’s eyes, her father’s nose. But everything else was all her. She was her own person. She had let them keep her cooped up in this house all her life. She had never invited a man over because she was too afraid of the damage he might cause. That was changing tonight.
Walking out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, she saw Tess of the d’Urbervilles lying on her nightstand. Elaine had stopped reading the story after Angel had abandoned Tess when she told her deepest shame. Angel hadn’t been able to deal, and he’d sailed away and out of her life, leaving his wife, the woman he’d promised to love and care for, practically destitute.
Elaine picked up Tess. She pulled out the bookmark, letting the pages shut without a marker. Turning to her closet, she put the book back on the shelf.
She knew how that story ended. She was looking forward to experiencing a different ending with her own love story. One where no secrets were kept. One where she and her Angel talked out any differences and tried to accept each other for who they were.
Elaine went downstairs to wait for Luke. Looking at the clock, she saw that he was five minutes late. She didn’t panic. She thumbed her phone.
At fifteen minutes late, she put the duck back in the oven.
At thirty minutes late, she put the dishes in the fridge.
After an hour, she turned off the porch lights, scrubbed off her makeup, and climbed into bed.