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“WHAT THE HELL?” I HEARD Natalie say when the second knock came.
“Are you expecting someone?” Billy asked.
“No,” she replied.
“Go see who it is,” he said.
I heard footsteps. “Who is it?” I heard her say through the closed the door.
“My name is Ida Belle,” came the reply. “I’m here with my friend Gertie. We are looking for CIA Agent Fortune Redding.”
The cavalry had arrived. Thank god. I smiled a little knowing Miss Congeniality was inside the doorway crapping herself about now.
“I don’t know who that is,” Natalie said. “There’s no one here by that name.”
“You’re lying,” she said. “The piece of crap car she rented is in your driveway. We know she is in there. Please open the door.”
“I’m afraid this is not a good time,” Natalie replied.
“If you have hurt her, this will go badly for you,” Gertie screamed.
Yay, ladies!
“She’s not here,” Natalie screamed. “Now go away.”
“I hope you are not underestimating us because of our age,” Ida Belle said. “I will come inside whether or not you open up.”
Oh shit, don’t fire Ida Belle. Don’t fire. Call the police and wait.
“I think you should just go,” Natalie replied.
“Last chance,” Ida Belle yelled.
“Go away,” Natalie yelled.
“For your own safety, please move away from the door,” Ida Belle called out. “I’m packin’ and I’m coming in. You have three seconds to move.”
I heard her begin a countdown, “Three... two...”
I heard the sounds of Natalie scrambling for cover, followed by the explosion of three gunshots. From inside the house it sounded like a cannon going off.
I heard wood splinters crumbling to the floor as Ida Belle shot holes through the lock and entered. Those two ladies always amaze me. They were sweet as can be but when you got their dander up, they could kick ass like nobody’s business.
“Honey, we’re home,” I heard Gertie yell. She chuckled. “I’ve been waiting to use that line ever since I saw The Shining. Now put up your hands, Natalie Poole. Where is Fortune? Is anyone else here with you?”
“No one else is here,” Natalie said.
“Ida Belle!” I screamed. “Billy Caesar is in the house! He’s armed!”
I felt Billy Caesar’s arm wrap around my neck from behind. Then I felt the barrel of his pistol pressed against my right temple. He forced a large gag into my mouth. I coughed and choked, struggling to no avail. For an old guy the dude was strong, and actually... pretty good looking.
“I planned not to kill you,” he whispered. “I may change my mind.”
“Is that right?” Ida Belle screamed. “Is Billy Caesar in the house?”
“She’s right,” he screamed back. “Billy Caesar is in the house and I am armed. I also have your Special Agent tied up and have a gun to her head. Let Natalie go. Come in here. Bring your friend with you.”
There was a pause.
“Now!” he screamed. “Unless you want Agent Redding’s brains sprayed all over the wall.”
I saw Gertie and Ida Belle appear in the doorway. Ida Belle had her pistol raised and pointed at Billy Caesar’s head, which worried me. His head was now very near my own. I trusted Ida Belle but had to wonder when the last time was she had been to a target range.
They looked at me and a shocked impression formed on their faces. I must have been a horrifying sight tied to that chair with a bloody bump on my head.
“Fortune, are you ok?” Gertie asked.
“Mm... Mo, ayehmm nuht ooh-k,” I said, realizing there was still a gag in my mouth muffling my speech.
“What?”
My muffled screams grew louder, “Mm-geth whis ding oudda mah mout.”
“Honestly, Fortune, I can’t understand a thing you’re saying,” Gertie replied. “Ida Belle, can you understand her?”
“Not a damn word,” Ida Belle replied. “I think she wants us to remove the gag.”
“You’re right,” Gertie nodded and turned to Billy.
“Can you please remove the gag, so I can verify my friend is all right?” Gertie said.
“I think I’ll leave it in,” Billy said, pressing the gun barrel into my temple harder. “She talks too much as it is.”
“Ho deed woo no I waad in twuble?” I asked through the gag.
“What did she say?” Gertie asked.
“Beats me,” Ida Belle said.
“She wants to know, how did you two know she was in trouble?” Caesar repeated. “I’m kind of curious about that myself.”
“Oh, that was easy,” Ida Belle said.
“That’s true,” Gertie added, looking at me. “First, you would have called us the minute you knew you were staying in Santa Monica. You would not have waited for us to call you.”
Ida Belle looked at Billy Caesar. “She’s always thoughtful that way. She knows we would worry.”
“Second,” Gertie continued, “we knew you were eager to see Carter, so something very important must have come up for you to stay.”
“It could only have been a break in the case,” Ida Belle said to Caesar.
“And third, if there was a break in the case, we know you would have called and told us,” Gertie said. She turned to Caesar. “She always writes both of us.”
“Ladies, well done,” Caesar interjected. “Do you think we can talk about this pickle we find ourselves in?”
“There is no pickle,” Ida Belle said. “Not for us, anyway. You’re screwed, Mr. Caesar.”
“No, you’re screwed,” he replied. “You drop your gun or I’ll drop your friend.”
“You will drop no one,” Mr. Caesar. “We know the truth. We know you’re a scumbag, a woman beater and a lying, cheating asshole, but we also know you’re not a murderer.”
What the hell is she talking about? God, I needed some Tylenol.
“We know it was Natalie who murdered Glory Peterson,” Gertie said.
I felt the gun barrel ease ever-so-lightly and his arm relaxed. He looked at me.
“How do you know?” he asked.
“Ah deh-dint know dat,” I yelled.
“What?” Gertie asked.
“She said she didn’t know that,” Billy Caesar repeated.
“Oh yes, it’s true,” Gertie said. “We’ve been very busy since we left you, Fortune.”
“You’re full of crap!” Natalie screamed. “I killed no one.”
“The evidence tells a very different story,” Ida Belle said.
“Whu-ut ebidence?” I screamed. “Cahn somdwun puweez get this frihkin ding ouda muh mout?”
Ida Belle looked at me confused. She turned to Billy Caesar.
“She’s whining about the gag again,” he said. He looked at me, “She wants it out. Sorry, love.”
“We found out that Natalie Poole was arrested in the state of Ohio in 2008,” Gertie said. “A domestic disturbance. Go figure. Right?”
“So, what?” Natalie said.
“Well, when we got back to Sinful, I told Deputy Carter Le Blanc all that had happened.”
“Who the hell is Carter Le Blanc?” Billy Caesar demanded to know.
“He’s our local law,” Ida Belle said. “He used to date Fortune but now they are, I don’t know... taking a break, I guess. Is that how you’d describe it, Gertie?”
“That’s just as good a description as any,” Gertie replied.
“He dunt care. Mm-get on widdit!” I screamed.
Gertie crinkled her nose at me.
“She said I don’t care,” Billy replied. “She wants you to get to the point. She’s correct on both counts.”
Ida Belle sighed. “By the way, Fortune, Carter is very unhappy with you at the moment. The last time you two spoke you made a commitment you would tell him about any trouble you thought you might get into. He was most displeased, wasn’t he Gertie?”
“Oh yes, I’m afraid that’s true,” she confirmed. “He is very unhappy, dear. You will have some explaining to do.”
“Who the hell are you people?” Natalie yelled.
“Oh... sorry,” Ida Belle said. “I got sidetracked. At any rate, Carter knew in the state of Ohio, the law requires everyone arrested to submit DNA samples. They go into the national DNA database. Carter went to the evidence room and retrieved all the clothes that Glory wore that night.”
“There was no blood on her clothes,” Natalie protested.
“You know, you’re right, and it’s interesting that you knew that,” Ida Belle replied. “Isn’t that interesting, Gertie?”
“Very interesting,” Gertie agreed.
“However, some of your hair and your saliva was on her clothes. They even had saliva samples on her face. You must have been so disgusted with her you spit on her face.”
“That wasn’t mine,” she yelled.
“The DNA says otherwise,” Gertie said. “Carter Le Blanc had all the samples rushed. We didn’t even sort it through the national DNA database. We asked them to pull your DNA specifically from the State of Ohio files and guess what? We got a perfect match. Isn’t that something? In 1986 DNA technology wasn’t used much, but today it’s common.”
I watched Natalie as the grim realization of what happened caused her expression to twist from confusion to fear.
“Shoot them!” she screamed at Billy. “Shoot all three of them... NOW!”
Billy didn’t respond. His arm relaxed further. I felt the barrel of the gun ease from my forehead.
“I’m not shooting her or anyone else, Natalie,” he said. “It’s over. They have caught us. It’s done.”
“It’s not done!” she screamed. “You know what I’ve sacrificed for you?”
“For me?” he screamed back. “I never asked you to murder that girl. She was a child.”
“A child you wanted to sleep with,” she exclaimed.
“Not when I found out she was seventeen,” he barked.
“Look, Billy,” she cried. “These are two little old ladies. We can get rid of them before anyone finds out. We can still do this.”
“I already told you,” he replied. “I’m not a murderer. It’s over.”
“No,” he said. “She has a gun. It would be self-defense.”
Ida Belle cocked her pistol loudly, pointing it at Natalie Poole, “This won’t be self-defense, but when I put one in your forehead, I think they’ll call it justifiable homicide. Mr. Ceasar. Your move.”
He sighed and laid the gun on the table.
“Screw it. I give up,” he said.
“That’s a wise move,” Ida Belle said. “Deputy Le Blanc will be here any minute with reinforcements from the FBI. We were supposed to wait for him, but it looked like there was a lot of activity happening so we made our move early.”
Natalie made a move for the gun but Gertie tripped her. She fell on the ground, hitting her right shin on the table leg. She writhed in agony for a moment before looking up. I could see her looking at the gun Billy Caesar had laid down. Ida Belle pointed her gun at Natalie’s head. “Ms. Poole, you hurt my friend. Please give me a reason to blow your fool head off.”
She froze momentarily before meekly lifting her hands above her head.
Gertie retrieved the gun. Billy raised his hands.
“I couldn’t let her take the fall,” he said. “Not after all she had done for me.”
“Just shut up, Billy!” Natalie screamed.
“It was my partially my fault, really,” he said. “I overheard Natalie talking to Steven on her cell phone. I made her tell me about Glory. I called her and set up a meeting at some rinky-dink soda fountain shop.”
“Billy, please...” she screamed.
“Within minutes of meeting her I knew Glory was just a kid,” he said. “She was seventeen, a backward star-struck teenager. She was so innocent. I’d met no one like that before. The women I meet always knew the score. Glory was innocent and naïve.”
“So, you’re saying you have decency in you?” Gertie said.
“Hell no!” Natalie screamed. “He knew he’d get accused of raping a minor.”
“Well, there’s that, too,” he admitted with a wry grin.
“Go on, Mr. Caesar,” Gertie said.
“So, I sat and talked to her for two hours. She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek when I left. I didn’t know Natalie followed me. Natalie saw her hug and kiss me and thought we had... you know. Glory asked for a ride back to her school, so I drove her.”
“In your white Honda?” Ida Belle said.
“Yes. I didn’t know at the time Natalie was following us. She followed Glory after I dropped her off. Just before Glory got out of the car she leaned over and gave me another kiss. This one was more suggestive. She was hard to resist, I don’t mind telling you. I had no idea Natalie was watching us. It sent her over the edge. I went back to the hotel and got ready for the party. We had a huge cast party than night. I notice Natalie was missing. When she finally got back, I saw her clothes were dirty and bloody. I asked her what she had done. She admitted that she followed Glory, killed her and hid her body. We flew out together the following day as though nothing happened.”
“I did it for you,” Natalie said. “For us. You’re turning me in?”
He looked at Natalie. “I’m turning us in. I covered it up. I’m sorry, baby. I can’t do this. I’ve been miserable, looking over my shoulder every day for thirty years. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to be over.”
Natalie broke down in tears. She looked at Ida Belle.
“I’m sorry,” Natalie sobbed. “I’m so sorry. Billy cheated on me all the time. He kept telling me he would stop, but he never did. I saw Glory. I saw how young and gorgeous she was. I knew I could never compete with that. I followed her intending to warn her to stay away from him. She told me to mind my business. She called me an old hag. Things got out of hand. I... I... I’m so sorry.”
“How did you kill her?” Gertie said.
Natalie described how she murdered the young girl and hid her body. I listened to the story. It was horrible hearing the details. For a moment, I forgot I was still gagged and bound to the chair.
“I nuho weeb all bin fru a lot buht kin sombon get dis ding oudda muh mout, pweez?” I yelled.
“What did she say?” Gertie asked.
“She wants someone to take the gag out of her mouth,” Billy replied.
“How can you understand her so well?” Gertie wanted to know.
“I’m an action actor,” he said. “I’ve listened to a lot of gagged women speak lines in movies.”
“It makes sense,” Ida Belle said. “Gertie, please remove her gag and the tape holding her to the chair?”
Gertie removed my bindings. “It’s about time you two got here,” I said.
I stood and glared at Billy Caesar.
“Agent Fortune, I’m sorry,” he said. “I...”
I rammed my fist into his muscular belly... hard. His stomach was as hard as a rock and I instantly knew my hand would swell to the size of a catcher’s mitt later, but it felt good to hit him.
Billy Caesar doubled over, holding his belly. He fell to the floor like a giant sack of flour.
I shook my hand. It felt numb already.
Gertie sighed. “Now Fortune,” she scolded. “There was no call for that. Look what you have done.”
“He’ll be okay,” I said. “I didn’t hit him that hard.”
“No, I mean your hand, dear,” she said. “You broke the fingernail on your index finger.”
I held up my hand. Gertie was right. The nail was more than half broken off. I shrugged.
“Huh, would you look at that?” I said.
“That looks bad,” Ida Belle said.
“It doesn’t hurt much,” I replied.
“Before we go any further, Gertie, could you get a wet washcloth for Fortune?” Ida Belle said.
“Why?” I asked. “Am I bleeding?”
“No,” Gertie said. “But with that gag in your mouth this whole time, you’ve been breathing through your nose. You have all kinds of snot dripping from your nostrils. It’s really kind of gross.”
I rolled my eyes.
“It’s true,” Gertie added. “Have you had a cold or a sinus infection recently?”
“Can we please stop talking about my post-nasal drip?” I asked. “Does anyone in the place have any Tylenol?”
Carter and the FBI broke into the house at that moment, guns pointed and readied. Twenty FBI agents stormed into the house, entering through every door and window in the place. Carter saw me in time to see my face all sweaty, flushed and covered in nasal discharge. So, there was that lovely image.
The next ten minutes went by in a blur. They arrested both Billy Caesar and Natalie Poole and took them away. For Carter’s part, when he saw that Billy was no threat, he turned his attention to me. It was if the rest of the world did not exist. By this time, I’d at least wiped my face clean.
“Are you ok?” he asked me, brushing my hair back with his hand.
“I have two bumps on the head, but I’ll be fine,” I responded. “Do you have any...”
“The paramedics will be here in five minutes,” he interrupted, turning to Ida Bell and Gertie. “I told you all to wait for us to arrive. They could have really hurt you. The next time I ask you...”
“Oh hush,” Ida Belle interrupted. “Since when did we ever do what you told us to do. Besides, if we had waited on you, we may never have gotten her confession.”
“You got a confession?” Carter said.
Ida Belle held up her cell phone. “I have this new recording app on my phone. It works great. I want the phone back though. I have over two hours of talk time left on this month’s plan.”
She handed Carter the phone.
“How did you guys finally figure it out?”
“It was Carter who connected the dots,” Ida Belle said.
“It was the car, the white Honda,” Gertie said. “We couldn’t find records of Billy Caesar renting a car.”
“Alamo Rental keeps great records,” Carter said. “After hearing Ida Belle and Gertie run down everything that happened, I also worked on the assumption that Billy Caesar killed Glory Peterson, but I needed to establish how he got to Sinful. We knew the man in the Fedora was seen driving a white Honda.”
“But you said there was no record of Billy Caesar renting a white Honda,” I noted.
“Correct,” he said. “But Ida Belle and Gertie also said they believed Natalie Poole was having an affair with Billy Caesar.”
My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. “How did you figure that out?”
“Oh, please. It’s was obvious. Donna said Billy never met a beautiful woman he didn’t try to sleep with,” Ida Belle said. “Natalie Poole is gorgeous, which is just one more reason for me to hate her.”
“It seemed odd to us that Billy would have a beautiful agent and not be sleeping with her,” Gertie said. “I’m shocked that slipped by you, Fortune.”
“It didn’t slip by me,” I protested, “In fact, I...”
“That’s okay, dear,” Ida Belle said in a sympathetic tone. “We all miss things from time to time.”
Gertie nodded, “It’s true enough.”
“But I didn’t miss it,” I retorted. “I...”
“And Steven told us that Natalie took Billy’s calls on her cell phone,” Ida Belle continued, ignoring my comeback. “So, we thought, if she took his calls, maybe she also...”
That little light bulb that goes off over your head when a revelation occurs... it shone.
“Natalie rented the while Honda in her name,” I said.
Carter smiled. “That’s right. The FBI was looking for men renting white Hondas.”
“Okay, I understand, but still, it was not Natalie seen in Sinful with Glory. It was Billy Caesar,” I said. “And it was Billy Caesar seen driving the white Honda, not Natalie.”
“Hear me all the way through,” Carter said. “When I searched for Natalie Poole’s name for a white Honda rental, I discovered that not only did she rent a white Honda, but also black Nissan.”
The light bulb over my head shined brighter.
“She used the Nissan to follow him to Sinful,” I said. “She was jealous.”
Carter nodded.
“Wait. Just because she rented a black Nissan, that isn’t proof she followed him,” I replied. “You still couldn’t place her in Sinful that night.”
“Not at that moment, true,” Carter said. “I had one more thought. It was a long shot, but it paid off.”
“A Hail Mary?” I said.
“Huh?” Carter came back.
“Walter was telling me about a Hail Mary,” I said. “It’s when one team is so far down with time running out...”
“I know what a Hail Mary is, Fortune,” Carter replied. “Can I tell this story?”
“This is good,” Ida Belle said. “Tell her, Carter.”
“I looked for traffic violations,” Carter said. “I perused the citations from Sinful to New Orleans for that weekend and saw Natalie’s name. She was going fifty-five miles an hour in a thirty-five mile per hour speed zone.”
“Where was she stopped?” I continued.
He smiled. “Just outside of Sinful. She was getting onto the Interstate heading towards New Orleans. It was about 11:00 p.m.”
“Oh, my god!” I yelled. “That’s a direct connection that places her in Sinful.”
Carter nodded. “And the time line fits perfectly.”
“What made you think she got a ticket?” Gertie asked.
“It’s not uncommon. It would be natural for someone who had committed a murder or about to commit a murder to be stressed and behave erratically, correct?” Carter said.
“Sure,” I said. “That makes sense.”
“And when people get stressed, they sometimes drive recklessly,” he said. “Sometimes even, they get into accidents, but more often they speed or run stop signs or commit other minor infractions. More than one case has been solved using this police technique. Here, Natalie Poole was speeding.”
“That’s great work,” I said. “This revelation plus all the DNA evidence you uncovered was brilliant.”
“DNA evidence? What DNA evidence?” Carter asked.
“Natalie’s DNA that they found on Glory’s clothes,” I said.
“There is no DNA,” Carter said. “What are you talking about?”
Carter glared at Ida Belle and drew a breath as if he would yell. Instead, he sighed and composed himself before continuing.
“I told Ida Belle and Gertie that there was no DNA. They lost all the evidence from the Glory Peterson case. There is nothing.”
Carter and I both looked at Ida Belle and Gertie incredulously. I glanced in Gertie’s direction. She rolled her eyes momentarily and then placed her hand on her chest and used her index finger to point at Ida Belle. She gave a slight head nod in Ida Belle’s direction. I looked back at Ida Belle.
She shrugged. “Okay, I made all that DNA stuff up,” she said. “Shoot me.”
“What about the whole thing about the saliva on Glory’s face where Natalie spit on her?” I asked.
“The saliva on Glory’s face was in the report,” Ida Belle said.
“But the blood type on the spit was the same as Glory’s,” I said.
She nodded. “I know. It was Type-O. That’s the most common blood type in the world. I rolled the dice.”
“So, you lied to Natalie to get a confession?” I replied.
“That kind of thing will get her confession thrown out,” Carter added.
“I don’t think it matters,” Ida Belle said. “Did you see the look of relief on Billy Caesar’s face he found out we knew the score? He’s been carrying around a lot of guilt for thirty years. He’s ready to testify against Natalie, I know it.”
“I hope so,” I said.
“Even if the confession is thrown out we still have them for assault of a Federal Agent and for wrongful imprisonment,” Ida Belle said. “They’re both over sixty years old. Either way, they will both die in prison.”
She was right. Hard time was hard time. Natalie and Billy Caesar would never live to walk out of prison.
“Great job, team!” I yelled.
“Plus, we have a bonus!” Gertie announced.
“A bonus?” I repeated. “What do you mean?”
Gertie reached into the pocket on the front of her dress and pulled out an envelope. She waved it into the air.
“Okay,” I said, “I’ll bite. What is that?”
“It’s a check, made out to Emma Peterson,” she replied proudly. “It’s for $500,000.”
“Holy cow!” I yelled. “Where did that come from?”
“It came from Steven Teller,” she replied. “He felt so guilty about giving Glory’s name to Natalie, it had been eating him up. It turns out the old codger has a little money socked away.”
“He didn’t need to do that,” I said. “He had no idea...”
“He insisted,” Gertie said.
I let out a breath. “Well, that was awfully nice of him. I’m sure Emma will appreciate the gesture.”
One of the FBI agents who had been on the scene asked to speak to Ida Belle and Gertie.
“What do you want to know?” Ida Belle asked.
“We want to know how you got the gun you used to shoot your way in here,” he said. “You flew out here, right? You could not have brought the gun on a plane.”
“That’s a good question,” I said. “How did you get the gun?”
“Mr. Teller,” she said.
“Mr. Teller?”
“Yes, when we figured you were in trouble, we were scrambling to get as much information as possible,” Gertie said. “We called Mr. Teller, and he insisted we take his hand gun... you know... for protection. He also gave us Natalie’s address.”
“You guys are killing me,” Carter said.
“We’ll be back in a few minutes,” Ida Belle said. “You two play nice while we are gone.”
She turned to the FBI agent and slipped her arm under his, leading him away. “You are a nice-looking young man,” she said. “I’ll bet your mother is very proud of you.”
“Why, thank you,” he said.
“Does she live around here?” Gertie asked. They turned the corner and disappeared.
“Thank you for coming, Carter,” I said. I put my hand on his.
“Of course,” he replied.
“Listen,” I began. “The reason I didn’t call you is...”
“Don’t say it,” he replied. “When Ida Belle and Gertie told me that you might be in trouble it worried me sick. I had to come. I’m just glad it all worked out. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you. You mean so much to...”
He paused. I so wanted him to finish.
“What?” I said.
He looked into my eyes and I melted. I could not control myself. I leaned over and kissed him, warmly and deeply. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it felt eternal.
“There is something I want to share with you though,” he said.
“What is it?”
“Paul Pride, my Force Recon buddy?”
“Yes.”
“His sister called. They need me. I have to go.”
“Is it going to be dangerous?” I asked.
“I’m afraid so.”
“Then I’m going with you,” I said.
“No, you’re not,” Carter said. “The people I’ll be dealing with are not to be messed with. I can’t put your life in danger.”
“Carter, I’m a trained CIA agent, I can help you.”
“No, I can’t let this happened,” he said. He kissed me again. There was an intensity in the kiss, but it felt more like a farewell than a kiss of passion. I broke it off.
“This is really worrying you, I can tell,” I told him.
He bit his lip and nodded.
“Look Carter, you know me,” I said. “You know how I am when my mind is made up.”
“I know, Fortune, but...”
“Look, this can go one of two ways,” I said. “You can give me the details and allow me to be your partner...”
“Or?” he interjected.
“Or you take off, and then I’ll just follow you,” I said. “There is not a third option. If I follow you, it will be far more dangerous than if we stick together.”
“Listen, Fortune,” he said.
“No!” I replied firmly. “You listen. If you think I will sit idly by while the man I lo...”
I caught myself and stopped.
“The man you... what?” he asked.
I sighed. “Where are we going?”
“I honestly don’t know, Fortune,” he said. “I mean, you know I care for you and I’d do anything for you, but as I think this thing through, I need more time to understand...”
“The city, Carter, the city,” I interrupted. “What city are we going to?”
“Oh. Seattle,” he said.
“Hmmm, Seattle,” I repeated. “The Emerald City. They have great seafood there.”
“My favorite is the cedar-planked salmon,” he said.
“It’s a little rainy there, you know,” I added.
“I packed my umbrella and raincoat,” he said.
“They have incredible microbreweries there, too,” I said.
“And the Rainier cherries are to die for,” he continued.
“What are you up against?” I asked.
“It’s major,” he replied.
“What are our odds for success?”
“Negligible. Are you certain you want to get involved?”
“I don’t know. I have a question,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“Do you happen to have any Tylenol on you?”