With the younger members of the party away and Reggie and Peter tucked up in the van for a sleep, it occurs to Lucia that she’s accidentally left herself wide open for Tommy to talk to her about the compass again. Their brief encounter in the pub corridor is still on her mind and she’s not at all sure she wants to repeat the experience.
‘So, lovely Lu, what’s next? Are you really going to have a nap or are we going to have a good old chat?’ he says, moving two of the chairs to the farthest corner of their pitch in the shade of an ancient beech tree.
The afternoon sun is strong and she’s glad of the cool refuge, but as she sinks into the chair, Lu’s heart is racing. Is Tommy going to ask her for the compass back? Perhaps now his future isn’t so settled, he’ll want its guidance.
Tommy leaves her for a moment to fetch a bottle of water for each of them from the cool box, and then sits down. He stretches out his legs, and Lu rubs her bleary eyes. She’s so sleepy that she can hardly keep them open but she can tell something important is coming, so she chugs half of her water and tries to concentrate.
A lazy bee buzzing around his head distracts Tommy briefly but when it’s gone on its way to the nearby honeysuckle, he leans forward and takes her hand.
‘I wanted to clear a few things up between us. I know you’re in a strange place right now, with Des being such a prat. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t bad mouth him, he’s family when all’s said and done, but my life, why would anyone leave you, darling?’
Lucia doesn’t answer. Tommy’s warm affection for her is immensely soothing and she doesn’t mind how much he chunters about Des. It smarts that her husband has only been in touch to ask for a clothes parcel and still no thanks for it.
‘Anyway, what I wanted to say, apart from you looking absolutely beautiful, as always …’
Lu rolls her eyes and he laughs. ‘I know you think I’m full of flannel but this holiday is really doing you good. You’re getting a bit of a tan already, and you look more relaxed than I’ve ever seen you.’
He laughs out loud at her imperiously raised eyebrows and she shushes him, gesturing to the sleeping baby in his cot. The side door of the motorhome is open and Lu can just see Reggie’s bare toes wiggling. She gestures to Tommy to keep his voice down, finger to her lips.
‘Sorry, I’ll be careful not to wake him but that look reminded me of my mother when I’d done something really bad. I wanted to say that you have no need to worry about the compass. I’m not about to try and get it back just because my life has gone a bit pear-shaped, if that’s what you were thinking?’
‘I did wonder. You’ve got a lot of thinking to do, haven’t you Tommy?’
‘Yes, I have indeed. I’m looking at the big picture for once though. Can I tell you a little bit about my life, while we’re alone, Lu? Don’t worry, it won’t take long. I’ll summarise and then you’ll still have time for your book.’
Lucia can’t help smiling at this image of a gallop through Tommy’s past, and there are areas of his life she’s always been curious about.
‘Go on then,’ she says.
‘I guess that’s the most enthusiasm I’m going to get from you, so here goes. I’ll admit I was a terrible flirt throughout my teens and at university. I thought I was God’s gift to women.’
He raises a hand. ‘No, darling, don’t pull that face, it’s a fact. Anyway, I saw how happy you were making Des in the early days, him having been hitherto a grumpy sod … so-and-so.’ He hastily corrects himself. ‘I decided to try and find a Lucia of my own. I worked hard at it for years.’
Lu’s soft chuckle at this statement makes Tommy grin too. He leans forward and takes both her hands in his. ‘I loved my teaching career and I enjoyed travelling in the school holidays even more but I’ve never met a woman who could hold a candle to you, darling.’
Tommy’s hands feel warm in Lucia’s. His strong fingers entwine with her own. This is turning into one of the most difficult conversations Lu has ever had. Here she is with a man who feels half stranger, half much-loved friend, feeling totally out of her depth. What’s he trying to say?
‘I tell you what,’ he says, ‘this is getting awkward. Let’s ask the compass to help us.’
‘What are you talking about? What are you going to ask?’
Tommy creeps into the motorhome, taking great care not to disturb Reggie and Peter. He comes back clutching the leather case. Opening it, he lifts out the instrument, cradling it like a new born chick.
‘Here you are. Ask away,’ he says, passing the cool marble object to Lucia.
Still mystified, Lucia takes the compass in both hands and settles it on her lap. The jade and azure patterns and the gold filigree glint in the dappled sunlight and she tilts it this way and that, wondering what Tommy’s expecting her to do with it. He doesn’t comment, just sits back in his own chair and nods encouragingly.
Breathing slowly, Lucia works hard to empty her mind of the current turmoil of thoughts. The compass has helped her before but she’s never tried to ask it a direct question, hadn’t even thought it was possible until now. Gradually, the quiet of the sleepy French afternoon, the warmth of the sun filtering through ancient branches and the sound of the gulls wheeling and crying over the dunes brings a peace that she hasn’t felt for a very long time. The needles still until the barometer one is left pointing upwards in the central position to the word change. The compass is still set to south.
Lucia closes her eyes and lets a picture of Tommy come to the forefront of her mind. She lets herself relax into her chair, and waits. For what seems like an age, all she can feel is a deep contentment, but then shiver by shiver, the calm of the mood is ruffled by the beginnings of a wild excitement that floods her veins, like ice cold waves on sun-warmed skin. She gasps, and the bubble bursts.
‘What?’ Tommy asks eagerly, reaching for her hand and entwining his fingers with hers. ‘What is it telling you?’
‘I don’t know. I was trying to let my subconscious take over and tell me what to do next. I felt completely lost.’
Tommy is still waiting for her to carry on. ‘And?’
‘Change is on the way. In fact, it’s already here, isn’t it? Look at us. Who could have imagined that you and I would be lounging in the sunshine together on a French campsite by the sea. And I think the message I’m getting, whether it’s from my subconscious or somehow from this beautiful thing, is that we both have a lot more adventuring to do. There’s a kind of dangerous feeling in the air though. I can’t explain it any better than that.’
‘Dangerous? I’m not sure what to say about that.’
‘No, me neither. Tommy, I’ve always avoided anything even vaguely disturbing, whether it’s good or bad. It isn’t possible to change now.’
‘Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong.’
Reggie starts his revving-up burble, signifying that he’ll soon be demanding someone’s full attention. Tommy smiles.
‘I wish I’d had kids, Lu. I almost settled down once or twice, just to be a family man but it wouldn’t have been fair.’
‘Why not? You’d have made a great dad.’
‘But the person you’re with has to be the right one for that to be a good idea, surely?’
They look each other full in the eye for a long moment. Their fingers are still linked.
‘Isn’t it time to take a few calculated risks, Lu? I can be your safety net if you need one.’
Tommy’s voice is like warm honey and the sparkling blue eyes are burning into Lu’s soul. Could she? Then Reggie starts to shout and bang his wooden bluebird on the side of the van and she’s jolted back into the real world.
Lucia puts the compass back in its case, still not sure what part it’s played in this afternoon’s events. ‘I’m going to think more about this later, Tommy. It might be that the compass is trying to push me towards biting the bullet and facing my worst demons. We’re in France. I don’t know how much you know about what happened to my brother Eddie and how he died but the place isn’t too far from here. I think that must be the danger.’
‘There are risks in everything we do, Lu, and mountains to climb. I guess you could be getting confused between fear and excitement for what could happen next. The compass could be focusing on your own future. Are you absolutely sure it’s all about Eddie?’
Lucia doesn’t answer. She isn’t sure of anything anymore.