Watching Lucia drive off to face Des was one of the hardest things Tommy has ever had to do, and even now he can still feel the ache in his heart and the longing to tell her again how much he loves her. He knows deep down he couldn’t have gone with her because this is something Lu needs to do alone. Maybe he should have insisted he at least went along part-way for the ride though, and then amused himself in Huddersfield for a few hours. She was bound to be all screwed up afterwards. He has a gut feeling that this soul searching isn’t going to end well.
Torn between sadness that Lu and Des’s long marriage might be over and a burning hope that this might mean there’s a chance for him, Tommy thinks back to the moment when he knew he had to leave the household, even if just for a little while. Space is needed for all of them. He remembers scribbling the note to Lucia, checking the cat was fed and packing his knapsack as fast as he can.
Ten minutes later Tommy was striding down the road towards the village shop, ready for this next stage in his varied life. Having already made the necessary phone call to secure a bed for a few nights, he greeted Sandy, took the bunch of keys that was waiting for him and headed round the back of the building and up the flight of steep steps that hug the back of the house.
Now he’s safe in his temporary nest, Tommy looks around as he sips his wine. At the top of the stairs is a small area sheltered by a stone balustrade, with just room for a single wicker chair and a small side table. A gnarled clematis winds its way around the trellis that shelters this tranquil spot and there are pots of herbs either side of the chair. He might eat out here tonight, when he can be bothered to fathom the workings of the microwave. Inside the room is a double bed, a tiny en suite shower room leading off it and a kitchenette spread out along one wall. It’s enough for one person, and the thought of some time to himself is rather refreshing, even though he’s already missing Lucia badly.
Being with Lu and her extended family has only served to underline what a self-centred existence Tommy has had up to now. He’s not really needed to think about anyone but himself for years. If the mini heart attack hadn’t brought him up short, he’d probably be still travelling around the world, making new friends and discovering fresh fields and pastures new, as his dad used to say when they set off on a journey.
Tommy’s already unpacked his bag and stowed his few clothes and possessions away in the cupboard, arranging his toothbrush and toiletries on a shelf above the shower room sink. He stirs himself, making the effort to find his wallet so that he can go down to the shop to buy a few provisions and pay for his accommodation. One bottle of wine isn’t going to go far.
‘Okay, mate?’ asks Sandy, as Tommy enters the deserted shop. ‘Is everything up there that you need? I was just about to close.’
‘It’s fine, I’ll be as quick as I can. I just need to get a basket and stock up.’
Tommy bustles around the shop, already nostalgic for the meals shared around the campsite with his new almost-family. In the end he selects a sliced white loaf, butter, marmalade, milk and a lasagne ready meal. He adds a pack of salad from the chilled counter and another bottle of red wine. Might as well settle in for the night. There’s no TV in his room but for all he said to Peter, he’s always been happier with a book.
Much later that evening, sitting outside again on his lone chair listening to the owls calling and sipping a final glass of wine, Tommy finally gets a text message from Lucia.
I’m on my way home, Tommy. All sorted with Des, but I need a few days to get my head round everything. He’s staying up there. I’ll fill you in soon. Lu x
Tommy reads the text several times and still can’t decide if this is good news. At least Lucia will soon be safely back and he’s not impinging on her hospitality while she grapples with whatever rubbish Des has thrown at her. He seethes with rage when he thinks of his proxy, or more accurately poxy godson and how the man seems to have trampled on Lu’s life without a thought for her welfare.
Gathering up his glass and the almost empty bottle, Tommy heads for his bed. His book, an ancient P.G. Wodehouse omnibus that travels with him everywhere, lies open on the duvet and the babble of voices from downstairs is comforting. Jeeves always cheers him up. He’ll leave Lucia to her thoughts and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow he’ll go for a long walk to clear his head. Loving someone this much is hard work.