When Your Chick Repellant Is a Dude Magnet-Aiden
AIDEN: I need a favor.
Jenna: Depends on what.
Aiden: This will make me sound more like douche.
Jenna: You already have a ton of d-bag points.
Aiden: Really? Still? I thought I lost a lot.
Jenna: Yeah, two weeks ago. Since then, you’ve been caught quoting Old School, literally owning a selfie stick, using Instagram hashtags, and bro tanks.
Aiden: Okay. Beside the point. My favor involves you coming to a pool party.
Jenna: Keep talking.
Aiden: It’s this weekend. It’s a beer Olympics, so free drinks
Jenna: That’s just expected. Quit being a bitch and stalling.
Aiden: I need you there to help keep chicks away.
Jenna: You need chick repellent?
Aiden: Yes. Exactly.
Jenna: Oh God, you are such a douche. You can tell them no, you know.
Aiden: Please. I’ll buy next time at The Pit.
Jenna: The next month’s breakfast.
Aiden: THANK YOU. You’re the best.
Jenna: What time?
Aiden: 10:00a.m. Sat.
Jenna: Fine.
“She’s in!” I threw my fist in the air while Jon smirked at me. “Why are you smiling?”
“You’re such an idiot sometimes, but I’m enjoying it, so I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Why do all my friends just talk shit to me? You and Jenna. Yesterday, Zeke called me pretty. I need new friends.” I fake pouted.
“Aw, feeling sensitive, Mr. President?”
“Fuck off.” I stood and noticed a huge game of beer pong going on in the back. “Are we having a mixer?”
“Yeah, Zeke said something about new recruits for the Kappas. Wanted to show them what being Greek is like.”
“Sweet. Good turnout. So glad Zeke has to deal with Cheyenne now and not me.”
“You really weren’t the best social chair, because once you slept with them, they hated you. Not the best track record.”
“It’s getting old. That’s why I want Jenna there.”
“Uh-huh,” Jon scoffed.
“You don’t believe me?” He was using his hand to hide his mouth, and it pissed me off. “What?”
“I know you two are just friends, but you want her here because you like her.”
“No shit. I like her. She’s one of my good friends now. She’s smart as hell, loves all the same shit I do, and likes to eat. She’s practically a dude.” Even as I said it, I knew the last part wasn’t true.
Jon did, too, but he didn’t acknowledge it. “Sure, dude. Let’s go monitor the party and flirt with the freshmen.”
Normally, I enjoyed flirting and scoping out all the new meat to see who would be easy. It just didn’t have the same effect when every one of them smiled too much and tried too hard. Apparently, Jenna’s unique sarcasm was getting to me.
* * * *
I woke up Saturday still in a shitty mood from talking with my dad the night before. He and my brother thought it would be a good idea to drop in and chat about my summer internship, and they fucking filled out the paperwork without my permission. I needed a distraction as soon as fucking possible.
My prayers were answered by my phone going off.
Jenna: I’m here. I brought breakfast burritos.
Aiden: You the real MVP. Code’s 12548.
Jenna: Ah, the presidential suite. Put clothes on. I’m coming up.
I threw on a shirt and deodorant just as the door opened. I was starting to grow up. My dad should be proud, but we really didn’t have that sort of relationship.
She barged into the room carrying coffees and burritos. Suddenly my mood lifted. “Hey, pretty boy. I’m going to need to talk about the plan for today.” She eyed me.
She took in the state of my room: clothes everywhere, wrappers, empty bottles. “Dude, what’s going on? Your room looks like shit.”
“My dad.”
“Sure explains the little frowny lines you have on your face. Wanna talk about it or eat this wonderful breakfast burrito?”
I knew her well enough to know she was giving me an out, and I was going to take it. “Feed me, woman.”
“Ten points.”
I laughed. I’d told her to wear a swimsuit, but I saw her jean shorts and white shirt with her godforsaken Yankees hat. My plan was to have her by my side the whole time to send a message of being unavailable, but I had no idea how much it was going to backfire on me.
“I didn’t know how much my life needed these burritos.” I meant every word.
“You never do. They just get you like nothing else. They’re the best ever.” She moaned into her breakfast.
“Let’s chow down and head out. Zeke’s getting the games set up.”
“I’ve never been to one of these game days. I’m really competitive. Is it going to be a problem?”
“Not at all.” I ate one whole burrito in one bite and sighed. I loved this moment.
“I mean, really competitive. You saw me during beer pong.” She nibbled her lip in uncertainty, and all thoughts of friendship flew out the window. I wanted her lips on me. Sucking me.
I must’ve looked at her too long, because she threw a wrapper at me. “Aiden. What the hell?”
“Wh-what?” I shook my head, thinking about Mike and old women. I needed to calm the hell down.
“I asked you what my role is, and you just stared at me. Are you drunk already?”
“No. Sober as hell. I should probably change that right now.” I stood up and grabbed two beers from my fridge. “Bottoms up, shorty?”
“Cheers.” She grabbed the can, and we cheered before slamming them back.
* * * *
“Okay, first game: slip-and-slide flippy cup. Form teams of five, people. Get in a line on this side of the tarp. You must slide down, then hop up and flip the cup. Team one and two are up first. Let’s go, people!” Zeke shouted across the yard.
It was my idea to charge five dollars a person for the Olympics, and it was all going toward our charity of the month. It was Jon’s turn to pick.
Jenna stood by my side and looked on hopefully.
“What, you wanna play?” I asked.
“Yeah, this looks fun as hell,” she responded with a grin.
“Okay. We need three more people.”
“You’re going to make me do it.” She looked around and waved one down. I couldn’t see who, but I heard her say, “Jon, you on a team?”
“No, I’m on patrol.” He sulked.
“Now you’re on a team. It’s just one round.”
“Why not? I think Kam was looking for a team. And Cheyenne.”
“I don’t know her, but we got five!” Jenna cheered.
I sighed, thinking about Cheyenne and how she’d be. We didn’t part on the best terms, but she didn’t want to commit social suicide by completely ignoring me. Also, in this case, I didn’t fuck it up with Cheyenne. It was all her.
Jenna lined up by the tarp, Jon and Kam laughing at something she said.
I headed their way, but Cheyenne stopped me. “My, you look better each time I see you. How do you do it?”
“Good to see you out today, Cheyenne. Having a good time?”
“Could be better. It’ll be better when you lose your shirt. So we’re on a team now?”
“Yeah, Jon’s doing, not mine.”
“Who’s the little tomboy? She’s adorable,” she purred, which freaked me out.
She started rubbing lines up and down my arm. It irked me. Yes, I slept with her more than once, but now she was creeping me out.
I moved out of her grasp and kept walking, but she continued. “Seriously, you’re sleeping with her now? Give us another chance, Aiden. We were dynamite. You loved how I used my mouth on you.”
I let out a breath of frustration. But before I could say anything, Jenna strutted up in nothing but a black bikini. It felt like a punch to the stomach. Holy. Shit.
She smiled at me and jumped full force into my chest, wrapping her legs around me. “Baby boy, come on. Stop your flirting and come play.”
I was unable to form words at this point because my hands were now cupping her ass to hold her in place, and I could feel her boobs pressing into me. I was instantly hard. “I’m coming, shorty. Glad to know you missed me.”
I continued to carry her toward the tarp and saw Cheyenne stalk off. The plan worked.
“Nicely done, shorty. Nicely done.”
“Mission Cock Block was a success,” she joked. She saw Jon and Kam giving her an odd look, so she put one of her hands on her hip and stated clearly, “All acting, fellas. Trust me. This body is not riding that train.”
They both laughed, but I pretended to be offended. “You referred to me as a train? How insulting. But to be fair, you do know I can go all night.”
“Arrogant, cocky, good-looking, stuck-up…” she rambled on at me.
I put my hands on her cheeks and forced her to look up at me. “You better knock it off. People are going to think you hate me, and then the act is up. If she comes back here, you can jump on me again. I liked it.”
“We’ll see. Now let’s get this started!”
Ten rounds in, we were undefeated and won the tournament. Instead of Cheyenne, though, we used one of Jon’s playthings—as I liked to call them, despite his disapproval. Jenna was kicking ass, and I didn’t think I could handle watching her jump around in a swimsuit anymore. It was taking all my self-control not to say fuck it.
I had to go talk shit with the other house presidents for a good hour to fulfill my duty. I was getting bored and couldn’t seem to stop watching Jenna. She was at the keg, refilling her cup, when she made eye contact with me across the yard. She winked while talking with Kam.
“This is for real,” a soft voice from behind me said.
I turned to see Ann, our sister sorority’s president, whom I liked. “Hey. What’s for real?”
“The downfall of Aiden. The girl, Jenna. Everyone’s talking about her.”
“People are talking about her? She’s not going to like that. Shit. What are they saying?” I didn’t want her name getting dragged around with whatever bullshit people said.
“Ah, you’re concerned. See what I mean. Normally, you wouldn’t give a shit. You’d laugh it off or something.”
I shrugged. “I suddenly realize I’ve been a dick.”
“No, you just never had feelings for anyone like you do with her.” She smiled.
“I wouldn’t go as far as feelings, but I do care about her a lot.”
“Then what was the incident with Cheyenne, hmm? I saw your face.” She gave me a knowing glance, and I gave her a sheepish smile.
“That was…Uh, shit. Do you see Kam hitting on her? It’s sad.” I turned to watch them.
“No, I’d say it’s more jealousy right now. He’s a nice, handsome guy.”
“You’re right. I need to stop it. I gotta go. We’ll catch up with coffee soon, plan out the nursing-home shindig.”
“Okay, lover boy. Your secret’s safe with me.” She winked.
I brushed off her comment and headed over toward Jenna and Kam chumming it up. But before I could reach them, another former flame stopped me.
“Aiden Chad! Do you not know how to use a phone? You promised you’d call.” Her voice shrieked, and it made me shiver inside. God, I needed to stop sleeping around.
“Steph, calm down. You’re making a scene. Not cool. And for the record, I never make promises I can’t keep. I never promised to call you. It was a one-time deal, baby doll. I’m sorry you didn’t understand.”
She frowned, and I thought she was going to cry. God, not what I needed right now.
“Baby! Aiden! Help, quick!” Jenna yelled.
I didn’t even think before bolting in the direction of her voice. I saw her standing with a half-smile on her face and her Yankees hat backward. “You all right? What’s wrong?” I ran my hands down her arms and checked her face for signs of something.
“I’m fine, Aiden. I saw a chick hounding you, so I thought I’d intervene. It’s why I’m here today, remember?”
“Nothing’s hurt?” I double-checked her body with my eyes.
“Just your dignity. Boom.”
“Good one.” I couldn’t hold back my smile or relief she was okay. “You’re tipsy.”
“It was all those damn flippy cups. They will be the death of me. I’m exhausted. How much longer do I have to protect you?” She closed her eyes with an echo of a smile.
“Protect me? I don’t think so. You’re more like a pussy bodyguard.” I laughed at my own wording.
“Pussy bodyguard. I’ll take it. PBG. You’re lucky I’m such a good friend.” She opened her eyes again, the green shining with happiness.
“Yes. I am lucky. Now quick, here comes a past flame. You ready for action?”
“You know it, baby.” She licked her bottom lip before winking at me.
Jenna jumped onto my back so her legs were now wrapped around me. I could feel her heat, and I could barely focus on the person in front of me.
“Aiden. I was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you.” The soft, malicious voice made us turn around.
“Hi, Charlotte. Good to see you. What’s up?” I asked firmly.
“Um, I was hoping to talk to you alone. It’s personal.” She stuck out her bottom lip to be cute, but it made me cringe inside. What was wrong with me? Why did I have so many regrets?
“I don’t have too much time. Sorry to sound rude. So it’ll have to be another time if you can’t say it in front of Jenna.”
“Is this the new girl people are talking about? The one who got you?”
Jenna’s body stiffened, but she didn’t break cover. She began running her fingers through my hair and whispered into my ear, “Pretend I said something sexy. Do your little kitty purr thing you do.”
That caused me to laugh, but I looked back at Charlotte. “It’s not your business what Jenna is to me. If you have to talk about something to do with the frat, I’m all ears, but if not, I have to go. Excuse us.”
I walked back into the house with Jenna on my back and set her down on a couch. “I’m sorry about that. I heard your name’s getting thrown around because of me. These girls are going to talk shit. And for the record, I don’t fucking purr.”
“I can handle your stage-five clingers. Don’t you worry. But yes, when you think something is kind of funny, you do this little laugh. It sounds like a purr.” She closed her eyes and rested her head on the pillow. I did what any decent guy would do. I picked her up and brought her to my room so she could sleep, knowing she already worked twenty hours that week. She needed the nap.
I was walking out of my room and heading downstairs when I passed Jon. “Dude. Kam asked her out. She said yes.”
“What the fuck? When?” Unwanted anger consumed my body.
“Today. I just found out. Sorry, bro. You should talk to her.”
Rage poured through my body, and I wanted to go in there and demand answers. But I didn’t. I did what any socially immature frat guy would do.
I planned to get drunk and hook up with a girl who wasn’t the one I really wanted.