Let Life Happen-Jenna
I found Joel chatting with some regulars at the bar, and I waved at them. “Hey, guys. Have a good holiday?”
“Sure did, Jenna. I heard about Ainsley. Heard she was huge.”
“Over nine pounds,” I gushed.
“Incredible.”
“I know. She’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.”
“You mean the only one you’ve seen,” Joel quipped.
“Who cares? She’s perfect, and I’m going to be the best godmother ever.”
The regulars clapped their hands for Joel and me. I rolled my eyes. “Hey, Joel, I’m taking off.”
“About time. I’ve been telling you to for the past two hours. Maggie and I can handle it until close. We’ve closed up hundreds of times. Don’t become one of those obsessive managers who can’t leave work.” Good thing he had a teasing tone to his voice or I would’ve hit him.
“I won’t. Today was just…There aren’t words for it.” I tried to find something, but I was on empty. Like when the gas light comes on in the car and you know you have just enough left to get you to the gas station—I was past that.
“Then leave. Take that man of yours and get out. I can’t wait to tell Gage you threatened two patrons today.” He snickered.
“Promises, Joel. Not threats. And he’s not my man.” Despite my exhaustion, his comment roused me a little.
“Jenna, not once in the past three years have you ever brought a guy to Thanksgiving with the family. I know we’re both fucked up in our own ways, but stop fighting your inner battles. Look at what he’s done for you in the past day and a half. He held your hand all night. He worked for you for eight hours today.” His face was serious, eyebrows almost to his hairline.
I nervously bit my lip and felt unwelcome emotions barge into me. My lip started trembling on its own, but Joel put his hand on my shoulder. “We all deserve what Cyn and Gage have, but it wasn’t easy for them. Trust me. I still doubt love even exists. But I’ve seen you two for a while now. You’re in a relationship, but neither of you wants to admit it.”
“What do I do?” I pleaded with him because I knew he was right, but I didn’t know how to deal with it. “I’ll just fuck it up or get hurt. I-I don’t know.” I ran my sweaty hands through my hair in frustration.
“J, stop freaking out. As your older brother, I’m telling you to not overthink everything. Just let life happen instead of fighting it. Now get out of here. Right now. Shoo!” He winked and swatted with his towel.
Just let life happen. It was good advice. I could do it. Just let whatever happens happen, because what else could we do? If I tried to plan out or analyze every aspect of my life, I was going to constantly be reminded of the pain of my past. I was done hiding.
I grabbed my purse, feeling lighter than I had in a long time, and texted the new parents. They obviously had checked in on me the whole night, but I wanted to tell them I survived. They replied with more pictures of their new baby girl. Adorable.
Aiden was waiting in the alley by my moped. His arms were crossed, and he was looking up at the black sky. He didn’t notice me yet, so I took the time to watch him. He held himself with such confidence, but I knew he had just as many insecurities as I did. He caught me staring and gave me a heart-stopping smile. A zing of pleasure shot right to my ovaries. Shit.
“Ready to get some rest, champ?”
“I don’t know if I can sleep.” My heart pounded, and my proximity to Aiden was only half the reason. “I’m running on so much caffeine and adrenaline. My body aches in places I didn’t know I had, but my mind won’t shut up.”
“Want to come back to my place, watch a movie, and wind down?” He assessed me with his eyes in a caring way. Whatever was happening between us, it wasn’t purely sexual attraction. His gaze reflected concern. His face gave me my answer.
“Yeah.” I watched his expression light up at my response. I repeated the phrase in my head. Let life happen. “A movie actually sounds really great. After the past twenty-four hours, relaxing is exactly what I need.”
“Glad you agree. Normally, a solid hour with my brother is my limit, and boy, have I surpassed it today.”
“Hey, when did Miles take off? It was mighty noble of him to come help out.” I knew Aiden was nowhere close to being best friends with his brother, but the fact they were recovering filled me with so much happiness I could burst.
“He left around six. Shocked the shit out of me. The whole day did, really. At first, he looked like he was going to throw up, touching other people’s food. I almost felt bad for him, but then he got the hang of it and was talking with all the customers. It was a side I hadn’t seen of him in a long time.” He shook his head at the memory.
I laughed and put on my helmet. “You may not agree with me, Aiden, but it’s great he’s trying. It has to mean something, right?”
“Fo’ sho’, but my initial reaction is still to question his motives.”
“I understand, but if he’s really, really going to try, then you need to, too. He deserves to have a shot at a relationship with you despite your past.” He gave me a weird look, and I realized those words somehow pertained to our odd situation. I wasn’t ready to discuss it, so I immediately changed the subject. “You’re riding in the back this time.”
“You’re coherent enough to drive?” His concerned gaze assessed me.
I stuck my tongue out at him, and we hopped on. His arms enveloped me, and I could smell the day’s work on him. Normally, a bar was known for smelling bad, but for me, it smelled safe, comforting. His hard body pressed against my back, and I could feel his racing heartbeat pound through his chest. I let myself enjoy the way he held me on the short ride to his house. Things were changing between us.
“What movie are you thinking about?” he asked while leading me into the house, his hand on my back.
I noticed he was finding every possible excuse to touch me, but he never crossed the line. It was frustratingly like torture. In the beginning of our friendship, he would blatantly attempt to flirt and embarrass me. Now it was more, like he needed to touch me for his own comfort.
“Something stupid but great.”
“So any Adam Sandler movie?” He raised one eyebrow.
“Yes. Exactly what I need tonight.” I clapped once.
“I’ve got just the one.” He put in Happy Gilmore, and we plopped down on the couch a foot away from each other.
I was curious why there was no commotion in the house and asked, “Is anyone else here?”
“No. I was the only one who stayed for the weekend. They all traveled back to their families.”
My heart clenched at the way he said it so nonchalantly. Like this happened a lot. I put my arm around him and hugged him. My face was pressed into his chest while I said, “I’m so glad you were able to spend the holiday with me. You’re a part of my family now.”
He squeezed me back, pulling me into his lap, my head still on his chest. He didn’t say anything, nor did I. We stayed intertwined for the entire movie, neither of us moving, not wanting to break the connection.
I felt myself drifting off to sleep, so I didn’t know if I dreamed it or not, but I felt his lips lightly touch my face and heard him whisper, “You’ve become my family too, shorty.”
I woke up with the title sequence showing and the clock glowing 3:00 a.m. “Shit.” I groaned and moved to get the kink out of my neck.
“You all right?” he mumbled into my hair, which covered his face.
“Yeah, just fell asleep at a weird angle. It’s late. I should head back.” I moaned, not looking forward to the drive back this late.
He stirred more and tightened his hold on me. “No. Stay with me tonight. Please.” Some unknown emotion stirred in his voice. I couldn’t think of one reason why I shouldn’t.
“Okay.” I fought a smile, and the butterflies in my stomach went apeshit.
He sighed softly into my ear and picked me up as if I were a doll. I kept my head against his shoulder and neck. I breathed in his scent, and he totally caught me. “Are you smelling me?”
“Maybe,” I said, unashamed.
“Well, I won’t stop you. Sniff away.”
I laughed into his neck, and he dropped me into his bed. I hopped under the covers, and he joined me seconds later. Luckily, he remained clothed, or I wouldn’t have been able to breathe. He spooned me from behind, and we fell asleep together, the second night in a row.
* * * *
I woke up to the smell of coffee and saw Aiden smiling at me, holding a mug out. “Morning, Jen-Jen the Engine.”
“Morning.” I grabbed the mug and sat up. “Also, fuck you for remembering.”
He wore shorts, low on his hips, and I followed his happy trail. He caught me staring at him and grinned devilishly. “I will never forget your nickname. Ever.”
I took a sip of coffee and set it on the table next to his bed. A predatory gaze came over his face, and he walked toward the bed, then sat right next to me. I could barely breathe.
“Thank you for staying with me last night.” His gaze was intense, and I didn’t know how to reply. It felt like the words had more meaning.
“You’re welcome.” I was suddenly nervous as hell. His face was unreadable, his eyes torturously playful, and his hands rested inches from me. I wanted him so badly words were forgotten. What do I do? Shit.
“Listen, I have some errands I have to run, so I have to take off. You can stay here as long as you’d like. I didn’t mean to wake you, but I know how you are in the mornings without your coffee.” He smiled, rubbing his hand on my foot over the cover. It was a gesture that spoke of comfort and closeness. We had both. I felt his touch all the way up my leg. I sucked in a breath.
“True. I’m a monster,” I said, rushing it out in one breath.
He chuckled. “So take your time. I’ll catch up with you later today. You get tonight off, right?”
I scratched my head and nodded. “Yeah. I’ll probably be in the library all day.” Studying would help with all the turmoil in my head.
“Good. You need the night off.” He nodded. “Well, I’m out. Seriously, help yourself. It’s no problem at all for you to chill here.”
I stayed sitting, but he put his face right in front of mine so I could see each individual freckle on his cheeks. He lowered his voice, using a tone I hadn’t heard before. “You look good in my bed.”
Before I had time to respond, he grabbed my face with both his hands and pulled it to his. “I should’ve done this a while ago, but I wasn’t ready. I’m going to prove to you we’re meant to be together, Jenna.”
Then he kissed me. His lips touched mine, and a shock went through my body. It was one of those kisses that stopped time. It could’ve been a minute or an hour and I wouldn’t have known the difference because every cell in my body was attuned to Aiden. His cologne overwhelmed me. His hands held my face. His lips felt like heaven against mine. His body heat came off him in waves. He lightly pushed my lips open and deepened the kiss. His tongue explored my mouth as if it held all the answers he was searching for. The butterflies took off in my body, tingles and pleasure coursing through me unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I felt like flying.
He pulled back and gave me a goofy smile. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you forever. Holy. Shit.”
I sat there, mouth open, unable to move in my life-altering moment.
He pressed another kiss to my forehead and lightly chuckled. “See you later.” Then he walked out of the room.
He was giving me the space I needed. Damn him for being considerate. Damn him for giving me the kiss of a lifetime. Damn him for…for breaking down my walls and sneaking inside. There was too much uncertainty and too many what-ifs and chances for pain.
I grabbed my head and shook it. No. I wasn’t going to overanalyze it. He was a hell of a kisser. That was it.
I wasn’t going to let my coffee go to waste, so I grabbed his iPad to read some news while I finished it. When I unlocked his screen, the picture made my heart stop. His background was us. We were playing Frisbee in the quad because it had cooled off outside, and we’d decided to put off doing lab work. We took the picture as a joke, but I had no idea he’d kept it.
“Well, damn it, Aiden,” I said to myself. He’d changed the game, and I had zero clue how to play.