As some brave admiral, in former war | |
Deprived of force but pressed with courage still, | |
Two rival fleets appearing from afar, | |
Crawls to the top of an adjacent hill, | |
| 5 | From whence (with thoughts full of concern) he views |
The wise and daring conduct of the fight, | |
And each bold action to his mind renews | |
His present glory and his past delight; | |
From his fierce eyes flashes of rage he throws, | |
| 10 | As from black clouds when lightning breaks away, |
Transported, thinks himself amidst his foes, | |
And absent, yet enjoys the bloody day; | |
So when my days of impotence approach, | |
And I’m by pox and wine’s unlucky chance | |
| 15 | Forced from the pleasing billows of debauch |
On the dull shore of lazy temperance, | |
My pains at least some respite shall afford, | |
Whilst I behold the battles they maintain | |
When fleets of glasses sail about the board, | |
| 20 | From whose broadsides volleys of wit shall rain; |
Nor shall the sight of honourable scars, | |
Which my too forward valour did procure, | |
Frighten new-listed soldiers from the wars: | |
Past joys have more than paid what I endure. | |
25 | |
And from his fair inviter meanly shrink, | |
’Twould please the ghost of my departed Vice | |
If at my counsel he repent and drink. | |
Or should some cold-complexioned sot forbid, | |
| 30 | With his dull morals, our bold night alarms, |
I’ll fire his blood by telling what I did | |
When I was strong and able to bear arms. | |
I’ll tell of whores attacked (their lords at home), | |
Bawds’ quarters beaten up and fortress won, | |
| 35 | Windows demolished, watches overcome, |
And handsome ills by my contrivance done. | |
Nor shall our love-fits, Cloris, be forgot, | |
When each the well-looked linkboy strove t’enjoy, | |
And the best kiss was the deciding lot | |
| 40 | Whether the boy fucked you, or I the boy. |
With tales like these I will such heat inspire | |
As to important mischief shall incline; | |
I’ll make him long some ancient church to fire | |
And fear no lewdness he’s called to by wine. | |
| 45 | Thus statesmanlike I’ll saucily impose |
And safe from action valiantly advise, | |
Sheltered in impotence urge you to blows, | |
And being good for nothing else, be wise. |