Chapter 15

I woke with a start when a car door slammed outside. I checked the time. Six p.m. Bugger. I had to get ready for this stupid party. Rubbing my eyes, I decided to go and find Harry and Lou to see what they were planning to wear, but I was distracted when I noticed an email from Stacey on my phone. Quickly, I opened it up and scanned what she said.

‘No problem tracking it down,’ she’d written. ‘Let me know if there’s anything else you need.’

I tapped on the attachment to open it and turned my phone round to read it more easily. It was Parker’s birth certificate, all right.

Parker James Harris, I read. (James, that was interesting). Date of birth: September 23 2009. Place of birth: Boston, Massachusetts. Mother: Tansy Elizabeth Gregory Harris (Gregory? I thought). Father: Unknown.

Unknown? Was she serious? She may have named the wee boy after him, but she hadn’t even bothered to put Jamie’s name on Parker’s birth certificate – not officially? Oh this was bad. In legal terms we had a whole mountain to climb before Jamie became Parker’s father. I gritted my teeth. Bloody, bloody Tansy – starting something she couldn’t finish.

My phone pinged, telling me another email had arrived. It was from Stacey too.

‘Found this,’ she wrote. ‘Does this affect your friend’s paternity claim?’

Curious, I opened the attachment she’d sent and stared at it in shock.

Petition to the court of Massachusetts, it said. For Michael Taylor Anderson to adopt Parker James Harris. There was lots more legal guff, but that was all I needed to read.

Shaking with rage and my mind racing, I somehow managed to pull on some clean jeans and throw on a black vest top with an over-sized skinny-knit grey cardigan over the top. Then I shoved my feet into my biker boots and stared at my reflection. It wasn’t great. I had mascara under my eyes and my hair was greasy. Not caring much, I wiped my face, reapplied my make-up in thirty seconds flat then sprayed dry shampoo all over my dull blonde curls, and scraped them back into a bun.

Downstairs I could hear voices and I guessed the car I’d heard arrive was Douglas, who was picking us all up in his 4x4.

Lips pursed, I went down. The front door was open and there was no sign of Tansy and Parker – I assumed she’d taken the little lad over to Eva and Allan’s to get him settled. Mum, Suky, Harry and Lou were all in the hall, zipping up their coats. Jamie was already outside admiring Doug’s enormous car. I supposed I should be grateful he hadn’t brought one of the hearses, though the way I was feeling about Tansy she was lucky not to be needing one.

‘I can’t fit you all in,’ Douglas was saying. ‘So I’ll take some of you, then come back.’

I pasted a smile to my face.

‘You guys are all ready, you all go first,’ I said. ‘I’ll wait for Tansy.’

‘Nah,’ said Jamie, walking back towards me. ‘I’ll wait with you.’

I gave him a not-so-gentle shove in the direction of Doug’s car.

‘It’s fine,’ I said firmly. ‘You go and get the drinks in. Tansy and I will only be a few minutes behind you.’

Jamie looked like he was going to argue but I gave him a look and he shrugged.

‘I’ll explain later,’ I hissed at him, hoping he’d forget when he had a pint in his hand.

I waved them all off brightly, then spun on my heel, slammed the front door closed and marched through the house to the kitchen. Eva and Allan’s house was basically at the bottom of our garden, so we always used the back door when we went there. Tansy would come home that way.

I stood by the back door, tapping my foot, ready to pounce. I didn’t have to wait long. Tansy pushed open the door and stopped on the mat, surprised to see me.

‘Did the others go already?’ she said, pulling her hat off her head. The way her hair fell perfectly into place annoyed me. ‘Parker was so funny, he gave me a guided tour of Eva’s place, showed me where he was sleeping…’

‘Is Jamie his dad?’ I interrupted.

She stared at me in confusion.

‘Esme, I thought I’d explained everything,’ she began.

‘So did I,’ I spat. ‘But then I found Parker’s birth certificate and I saw that Jamie’s not on it. Not officially.’

Tansy unzipped her jacket and sat down at the kitchen table.

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Remember I told you how sick I was before he was born? I just wasn’t thinking straight back then.’

‘And now?’ I snapped at her. I stayed standing up, not wanting to sit down with her like an old friend. ‘Are you thinking straight right now?’

‘Esme, honey, I don’t know what this is about,’ she said.

‘It’s about the fact that you have arrived here and turned our lives upside down,’ I shouted at her. ‘You have brought that lovely wee boy here and let Jamie think he’s his dad, and now I find out that he’s not even named on the birth certificate and worse than that, that your fiancé is about to adopt Parker.’

‘Oh,’ Tansy said. She looked down at her lap.

‘Oh,’ I mocked. ‘Is that all you have to say?’

I gave a little laugh, even though none of this was remotely funny.

‘You know what I do for a living, right?’

Tansy looked surprised at the change of subject.

‘You’re a lawyer.’

‘I’m a family lawyer,’ I said, emphasising the word family. ‘Adoptions, divorces, custody battles, you name it. They’re my lifeblood. You picked the wrong girl to mess with, sister.’

Had I really just called her sister?

Tansy said nothing. I couldn’t really blame her.

‘Now,’ I said. ‘How about you tell me why you’re really here?’

She ran her hands through her hair and I was pleased to see a bit of her fringe sticking up.

‘Is there any wine,’ she said. ‘I need a drink.’

I lifted my hand to produce a bottle, then caught myself just in time. No magic, not now. Instead I pulled a bottle from the fridge and put it and two glasses on the table. Then I finally sat down opposite her and sloshed wine into the glasses.

‘Talk,’ I said.

Tansy swigged her wine and took a deep breath.

‘Parker is Jamie’s,’ she said. ‘I’ve got no doubt. There was no one else.’

I kept my gaze steely.

‘We’ll want a DNA test to confirm that,’ I said.

‘That’s understandable,’ Tansy said. ‘You guys will want to get Jamie tested for the illness too.’ ‘So that’s all true?’

Tansy nodded.

‘It all happened like I told you. The malaria, and Parker being born. It took me a good while to get my head round everything that was happening.’

She looked up at me for the first time.

‘The worst thing was feeling like I’d let my dad down,’ she said. ‘I was his little girl. His favourite, even though he adores my brothers. And when I was pregnant he looked at me in a way that I couldn’t bear,’ her voice caught and I almost – almost – felt sorry for her.

‘He was so disappointed,’ she whispered. ‘He’s always cared about what people think of him. He’s had this drive to prove he’s better than the racists and Mom’s family think he is. Having a knocked-up daughter with no husband wasn’t part of his plan.’

Tears were rolling down her smooth cheeks, but she smiled suddenly.

‘Parker won him over,’ she said. ‘And then I met Michael, and he adores Parker. We’re a family now.’

I wondered where Jamie would fit into this fantasy family but I didn’t interrupt.

‘Daddy was so pleased when Michael and I got engaged,’ Tansy said, wiping her eyes. ‘I felt like I’d won his love again. That he could be proud of me again.’

‘Because you’d got a man?’ I said, thinking of my own darling dad who was proud of me for so many reasons, none of which involved having a boyfriend. ‘What about your job? Or bringing up Parker on your own?’

Tansy shook her head.

‘I know it sounds crazy,’ she said. ‘But that’s how I felt.’

She paused.

‘And then Parker got sick. I wanted to tell Jamie about him then – Mom agreed with me – but Daddy and Michael talked me out of it. I felt so bad though. I was worried about Parker and I was worried I wasn’t being fair to Jamie.’

‘You weren’t being fair to Jamie,’ I pointed out.

‘I was so scared Parker would die and Jamie would never know he was a dad,’ Tansy said. ‘But Parker got better – thank god – and Michael started to get antsy. He thought I still had feelings for Jamie. I told him he was wrong and that’s when we put in the adoption application. For a while things were better.’

‘Until?’ I prompted.

Tansy swallowed more wine.

‘Until I found out about your wedding, from a mutual friend,’ she said. ‘He mentioned it on Facebook and I saw. It made me realise it was all wrong. We couldn’t paper over the cracks and pretend Michael was Parker’s dad.

‘I wanted to tell Jamie. Michael was furious. He said I should email if I was that desperate to tell him. We had a huge row and I told him I was coming whether he liked it or not.’

She paused.

‘I wanted to see Jamie,’ she admitted. ‘Our relationship was kind of crazy. It was such an intense environment working in that hospital in Kenya, going out to visit villages and towns. It was really full on. All the relationships we had there were intense – even the friendships. Me and Jamie were up and down the whole time. We rowed more often than we didn’t. But when it was good,’ she gave me a small smile. ‘Well, I just wanted to check there wasn’t anything between us any more – any feelings. I had to be sure.’

I stared at her.

‘Because it’s all about you?’ I hissed. ‘As long as Tansy’s okay, you don’t care about spoiling things for everyone else? Oh your timing is just phenomenal.’

Tansy started to cry properly then.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’ve ruined everything. You’re all so kind, and Jamie’s just been great…’

‘Woah,’ I said. ‘Jamie is great. And he’s my fiancé remember? What about your “feelings”?’ I childishly mimicked her accent. ‘Is there anything there?’

‘No,’ she sniffed. ‘Of course not. I love Michael. Grumpy, protective, wonderful Michael. And even if I didn’t, Jamie’s totally in love with you.’

‘I know,’ I said. Slightly smug in the knowledge of Jamie’s love.

‘Are you going to tell him all this?’ Tansy asked. ‘He and Parker are just starting to get to know each other – I don’t want to spoil it.’

I frowned. I didn’t like keeping secrets from Jamie – that way disaster lay, I knew that from experience.

‘I won’t tell him yet,’ I said. ‘But I think you – or I – should tell him he’s not on the birth certificate as soon as we can. We need to make this all official.’

Tansy grimaced.

‘I didn’t want to resort to paperwork,’ she said.

‘Yeah? Well I think you’ve just forfeited your right to call the shots,’ I said.

Outside a car door slammed.

‘That’s Douglas,’ I said.

Tansy froze.

‘Oh heck, I’d forgotten about the party,’ she said, wiping her eyes. ‘Would you mind if I didn’t go? I really just want to snuggle up with Parker and watch his DVD.’

She looked wretched for a moment and I felt a rush of unexpected and unwelcome sympathy for her.

‘Go and put your pyjamas on, then go over to Eva’s,’ I said. ‘She’ll look after you. I’ll tell the others you felt sick or something.’

Douglas rapped on the door and I stood up.

‘This isn’t finished,’ I warned her. ‘It’s not over.’

Tansy looked up at me.

‘I know,’ she said.