We calmed him down, of course, with promises of pizza at the café and a big slice of cake. And Jamie’s mum – who Parker apparently adored much to her surprise and joy – arrived just at the right time, armed with a book about bones, which Parker was soon engrossed in.
It was a lovely evening. Everyone laughed a lot, and it was so magical being surrounded by everyone I loved. Frankie held court, telling hilarious stories about his travels and his crazy life in the world of internet start-ups and million-dollar buy-out bids.
‘How are things with the little boy,’ Dad asked me, as Mum poured coffee for everyone. ‘Did you get it all sorted out?’
Parker was curled up on one of the sofas fast asleep, with Chloe’s daughter Matilda snoozing at the other end, and her little boy Olly spread-eagled in the middle. The kids had been cautious of each other to begin with, but once Olly showed an interest in Parker’s bones book, they were firm friends for life. Little Euan was also asleep, flat out in his buggy, his chubby cheeks flushed from all the excitement.
I glanced over to where Jamie was deep in conversation with Michael and Tansy.
‘I think so,’ I said. ‘Everyone’s agreed to do things officially, which I’m much happier about, and we’re getting a DNA test. You know, just to make sure.’
Dad nodded.
‘He’s definitely Jamie’s though, isn’t he? You can see that.’
He was right. Even a stranger could spot the similarities between Parker and Jamie, physically and in their personalities.
‘Definitely,’ I said.
Dad took my hand.
‘And how are you feeling about this?’ he said in a low voice. ‘This wasn’t what you signed up for.’
I shrugged.
‘No, it wasn’t,’ I said simply, relieved to be admitting it at last. ‘I thought Jamie and I would do the whole kids thing together for the first time. I never thought I’d be a step-mum.’
‘What about the little lad himself?’ Dad asked.
I sighed.
‘He’s gorgeous,’ I said. ‘He’s funny, and clever, and loving.’
‘I hear a “but” coming,’ said Dad.
‘But he’s not my son,’ I said. ‘Am I a monster?’
Dad chuckled.
‘You’re not a monster,’ he said, ruffling my hair in a way I hated ordinarily. ‘It’s completely understandable. You need to get to know him.’
‘Jamie adores him,’ I said glumly.
‘There’s biology there, though,’ Dad said. ‘You know, when you were born – and Mitch and Mason – and I held you all for the first time, I felt this sense of responsibility. You were so tiny, and I had to look after you. It was my job. That stirred feelings in me that I’d never even known were there.’
‘You looked after us all brilliantly,’ I said, moved by his words.
‘You don’t have that with Parker, though,’ Dad pointed out. ‘He’s not your job. Not your responsibility. It’s going to be a different kind of love – but you will love him, I can promise you that. And he’ll love you back – just like you and Olivia love each other.’
I thought love was a bit strong for the way my step-mum Olivia and I felt about each other. Benign disinterest was more like it. I glanced over to where she sat, chatting to Harry and Louise. She caught me looking and gave me a wide smile. I smiled back, feeling slightly uncomfortable – as though she could read my mind.
‘Olivia’s very fond of you,’ Dad said. ‘She’s always boasting about you to her friends.’
‘She is?’ I said, surprised.
‘Oh yes. I think the bond between step-parent and step-child can be very rewarding.
‘I hope so,’ I said. ‘Because at the moment all I can think about is how much easier everything would be if Parker just wasn’t here. And that makes me feel so guilty.’
‘Oh Ez,’ Dad said. ‘You’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.’
He looked me straight in the eye.
‘Now listen to me,’ he said. ‘If this changes things. If this alters the way you feel about Jamie, about marrying him I mean, then now is the time to tell me. It’s not too late. We can call the wedding off right now. I don’t want you going through with it just because you feel you have to.’
‘Oh Dad,’ I said. ‘This is tricky, but it’s not impossible. I still want to marry Jamie. I’ve wanted to marry him since I was sixteen.’
‘Great,’ said Dad. ‘I just wanted to make sure you were sure. Now, what’s going on with this coffee? I think we should have some champagne instead, don’t you?’
‘Dad asked me if I wanted to call off the wedding,’ I told Jamie a little while later. With everyone beginning to talk about heading to bed, we’d sneaked outside for a walk – the last time we’d see each other before the ceremony tomorrow. Hand in hand, we strolled along the snowy shore of the loch. It was nearly midnight but the snow reflected the moon so brightly it was almost like daylight.
‘And what did you say?’ Jamie asked.
‘I told him I absolutely wanted to call it off and asked him to help me phoning all the guests.’
Jamie laughed.
‘What did you really say?’ he said, throwing his arm round my shoulders. ‘Shall we sit down?’
We made ourselves comfortable on a large, flat rock and looked out over the frozen loch. It was breathtakingly beautiful – like a scene from the survival programmes Jamie loved. I half expected Ben Fogle or Bear Grylls to come bounding over the ice with a camera crew in hot pursuit.
‘I told him that I’d wanted to marry you since I was sixteen and I wasn’t going to give up now,’ I said, nestling into the crook of Jamie’s arm.
‘Pleased to hear it,’ Jamie said. ‘Have you really wanted to marry me since we were sixteen?’
‘Oh yes,’ I said. ‘Do you remember the first day we met? You had found my cave and you were reading my copy of Pride and Prejudice?’
‘I do remember,’ Jamie said. ‘I said I thought Lizzie was a drip.’
‘And I was really cross,’ I said. ‘But you looked so right sitting in my space reading my book that I found I couldn’t be cross for long. I thought then that we’d get married.’
Jamie stroked my hair.
‘I didn’t think Lizzie was a drip,’ he said. ‘I thought she was cool. You took me by surprise, standing there looking fierce in your little strappy dress with a T-shirt underneath and your hair all wild round your face. I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life. I think I wanted to make you cross so I could be sure you would remember me.’
I laughed.
‘Later on you told me Lizzie reminded you of me,’ I told him. ‘Then a couple of years later – after it all went wrong – I was in a seminar at university and I mentioned to someone that my ex-boyfriend told me Lizzie reminded him of me. She said she was amazed that I’d had a boyfriend who’d read P&P. I went home that afternoon and cried and cried because I missed you so much.’
‘We’ve had a rocky old road to get here,’ Jamie said. ‘But this is it now. We’ve proved how strong we are and how much we love each other. And tomorrow we can draw a line under all the difficult stuff and just look forward to a peaceful marriage with no tricky bits.’
‘Erm,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to be contrary but firstly this situation with Parker is far from being resolved so I reckon we’ve got a few more tricky bits to come. And secondly, have you met my family? Peaceful isn’t the word I’d use to describe them. And don’t you think that would be a little bit boring…’
‘You’re right,’ Jamie said. ‘Okay. We’ll have an eventful marriage, with lots of fun and laughter and things happening. But no more ex-girlfriends showing up, or friends of Harry’s trying to seduce you away from me, or property developers trying to ruin the family business…’
‘It’s a deal,’ I said.
We sat there for a while, enjoying the air and the view and the closeness of each other. And then through the stillness of the night we heard voices and laughter and car doors slamming and we realised it was time to go.
We wandered back along the shore, pausing just before we got to the cafe.
‘I love you Esme McLeod,’ Jamie said. ‘Sleep well.’
‘I love you too Jamie Brodie. See you tomorrow. I’ll be the one at the front in the dress.’