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WE TRACKED MARY'S PHONE to the Chalk Lake Suites and saw the dark SUV parked at the end of the lot. Harry wanted to storm the hotel, but Gertie convinced him that wouldn't be a good idea.
"Let my friends go in," she told him. "They're professionals and know how to deal with bullies. Besides, I want to hear about your wedding plans. Oh, by the way, I'm available if Mary needs a maid-of-honor."
I passed Gertie my phone, and we left her and Harry in the Blazer and headed for the entrance of the motel. I walked to the front desk while Ida Belle sat down in the lobby and picked up a magazine.
"I have an appointment with Money in the Bank, but I don't remember the room number," I told the woman behind the counter. I didn't have the owner's name but hoped 'Mr. Money' would be using a corporate credit card for his stay. I was in luck.
"I'm afraid I can't give you that information, but I'll be happy to call the room and see if they will meet you in the lobby. Your name is?"
"Mary Smith," I replied.
She picked up the phone receiver and punched in the room number. "Hello. I'm sorry to disturb you, but Mary Smith is here for her appointment. Could you come down to the lobby and meet her? ... Oh, I see. Well, I'm sorry to have bothered you."
I didn't need an interpreter to know I'd been shut down. I smiled and thanked the receptionist and then took a seat next to Ida Belle. "Suite 215," I told her. "You go first, and I'll join you as soon as I can sneak past the receptionist." When the opportunity arose I raced across the lobby and took the stairs up one floor.
"There are security cameras in the hall, so we'll need a key card to get into the room," she told me.
We went up to the third floor and found a housekeeper who had left her card on her cart while she cleaned. Ida Belle distracted her while I swiped the card, and we headed to Mr. Money’s room the second floor. Ida Belle patted her pants pocket and nodded, so I used the card and we entered the room expecting to find three thugs and Mary, but that wasn't the case.
A skinny man with thin dark hair, bad skin, and dark eyes was watching a dirty movie, and the room was filled with his heavy aftershave and cigarette smoke. Early sixties, trying to look younger. Six feet, 160 pounds, Smoker's hack/early stages of emphysema, osteoporosis, wary eyes. Threat level: medium. He jumped up, surprised by our appearance.
"Who are you?" he demanded with his eyes flipping back to the television.
"Mary Smith," I replied sarcastically. I grabbed a tissue from a dispenser and stalked across the room to turn off the TV. I dropped the tissue wrapped remote and backed up when he refocused his attention on me.
Mr. Money took a step in our direction, but Ida Belle said, "Uh, uh," and waved her gun at him.
"What is this?" He eyed me. "You're not Mary Smith."
"No kidding! Where is she?" I asked.
"I don't know what you mean," he replied. His brow furrowed, and he glanced at Ida Belle. "There's no money in the room safe, but you can have what's in my wallet."
I ignored him and checked the adjoining bedrooms and bathrooms. "Nothing," I reported to Ida Belle when I returned. Mr. Money appeared genuinely confused, and I didn't feel the need to waste time explaining it to him. "Where are your guys?"
"They're out looking for Mary." His eyes nearly popped from his head when Ida Belle aimed at his kneecap. "Listen, I don't know what you want from me! I'm telling you the truth."
"Your guys haven't been back here within the last hour?" I demanded. The nose of Ida Belle's pistol edged up from his kneecap, and Mr. Money's eyes looked like a cartoon, they bulged so far.
He dropped his hands to protect himself and said, "Geez, I'd turn them over if I knew where they were! They won't report back until the end of the day."
"Call them and find out where they are," I said. After shooting a glance in Ida Belle's direction, he did as I requested and put his phone on speaker.
"Hey, boss. We're heading out of Chalk Lake."
Mr. Money finished the call and as we left, I suggested he might want to start interviewing new employees. I ran up to the third floor and tossed the housekeeper's keycard into the hallway before joining the others in the Blazer. "I don't understand what happened."
"Here's the problem." Ida Belle passed me my cellphone, and I could see Mary's phone was moving again. "I asked Gertie how she let the SUV slip by while she was holding that."
Gertie sniffed loudly. "You didn't tell me to watch it."
"You didn't need to watch the phone to see the SUV cruise by my Blazer!"
"Well, I was busy, and you didn't tell me to watch the parking lot either. Besides, you're the one who's always complaining about my eyesight," Gertie retorted.
Ida Belle shook her head. "I give up. Where are they headed?" she asked me as I watched the screen.
I scratched my temple and winced. "Are you sure you want to know? They're driving back to Molten."
"Thanks, Gertie! That emergency spare I put on wasn't made for touring, you know," Ida Belle complained as we left Chalk Lake and headed back to Molten.
"You don't need to tell me that! Next time don't be so cheap and spring for a real spare tire. This bumpy ride is giving me a headache," Gertie replied.
"Me too," Ida Belle muttered.
"My car has a full-size spare tire," Gertie said loudly.
"Too bad it doesn't have a bumper!" Ida Belle snapped.
Gertie snorted. "My new chrome bumper is being installed this week. I can't risk putting my future in your hands."
They picked at each other while I watched my phone to make sure the SUV didn't take a detour, and Harry gazed out the window. Ida Belle paused when we got to Harry's driveway. The garage door was still open, Mary's car was still parked in the drive, but there was no sign of her or the SUV.
"Well, her phone is here," I said, so she pulled in and parked.
Harry hopped out and yelled, "Mary, are you here?" He rushed to the door, and Mary opened it, running to meet him with a hug. "I was so worried!"
I smiled at the couple, thinking it was cute. Ida Belle made a face and stood next to me while Gertie hovered around them. "What's up with that?" I kept my voice low, trying to figure out what she was doing. I soon found out.
"I'll be a perfect bridesmaid," Gertie gushed when the couple parted. "I have a wonderful idea for the bachelorette party!"
Mary's eyes shifted sideways to Harry, and Ida Belle muttered, "Oh, no! She's gonna hire an old male stripper."
I giggled at her pained expression. "And host it at the spa."
"Shut up!" She glared at me and tapped Gertie's shoulder. "Figure it out on your own time. We're working, remember?"
Gertie turned her back on us and whispered to Mary, "Call me."
Mary's smile was strained. "Harry, why are the workers from the temp agency here?"
I quickly explained the situation, and Mary looked relieved. Then her eyes drifted to Gertie, so Ida Belle pulled her out of the way while I spoke with Mary. "What happened after those men took you?"
She clutched Harry's skinny arm tightly. "Well, they wouldn't tell me where they were taking me, but they kept pushing me to sign the papers. Finally, I got tired of listening so I agreed to look them over. Most of it was confusing legal stuff, but one thing was clear: The Mary Smith they were looking for was adopted, but I wasn't. So I thought even if I signed the document, it wouldn't hold up in court and they couldn't hold me to it. I said that I changed my mind, signed the paper, and they brought me home."
"Did they hurt you?" Harry asked.
"They scared me, but I don't think they planned anything bad," Mary told him. "As soon as I was in the car, they untied me and removed the gag. The balding one told me has very sensitive ears and my screams were painful."
I wasn't sure I bought the thugs’ story and asked Mary if she wanted to report it to the police. "No. I mean they don't have any reason to bother me now, do they?"
Swamp Team 3 held a quick conference and agreed she was right. What would be the purpose? To yell at her for doing what they demanded? At worst, they would need to print another set of papers. We told her our conclusion and then headed to the Blazer.
Harry called, "Hey, I want to pay you!"
"Consider it a wedding gift," I replied. After all, we really didn't do anything but follow Mary's phone.
"Should we go back to the hotel to get Gertie's gun?" Ida Belle asked at the end of the driveway.
I thought for a minute before replying, "I don't think we have much choice. If they return to California, we might never get it back."
Once we made it to the hotel lot, Ida Belle warned, "Gertie, the SUV is parked over there, so don't just sit like a lump and let it leave without telling us."
"I don't need your help getting my gun back so you wait out here. Come on, Fortune." Gertie flipped her head and got out of the Blazer. I smiled at Ida Belle and followed Gertie as she stalked into the hotel and didn't stop until we reached the elevator. "Uh, I might need a little help. What suite is Money in the Bank occupying?" I punched the button for the second floor and directed her to Suite 215.
The guy with the wounded shoulder opened the door when we knocked and stepped back in surprise. That was all the opportunity Gertie needed. She elbowed him out of the way and waltzed into the room like it was hers. Mr. Money looked up from the table where he was sorting papers with the other man. "What now?" Money asked, recognizing me.
"Tell your goon I want my gun back," Gertie told him.
Money's brows rose, and he sat back with a grin. "Hey, Gino, are you stealing from old ladies now?"
Gino dismissed it with a wave. "Ah, it's only the old broad from the nudie club. She's nuts. Just ask Tommy how he got capped."
"Tommy, did she shoot you?"
"She started it but the bag who nailed me isn't here. You don't have to worry about this one unless there's a glass nearby. Hey, maybe she's blind," Tommy joked.
Gertie pursed her lips and said, "I can see well enough when I have to. Right, Tiny?" She directed her gaze at Gino.
He jumped up, his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
Gertie pulled her phone out of her pocket and spent a minute looking through her photos. Then she held it up and Gino turned dark red. "That's against the spa rules! I guess you are blind because there were big signs everywhere that said NO PICTURES."
"So sue me," she replied. "But first, I want my pistol." She flipped her phone back, found another picture, and showed it off with a smile.
"That's blackmail!" Gino shouted, and Tommy moved in for a better view of Gertie's phone.
"Dude, what happened to your back?"
"Shut up!"
"I think it's a valid question," Gertie commented. She flashed the phone at me. "What do you think?"
I grimaced and pushed it away. I had enough unpleasant memories of the spa without visual aids. Then I closed one eye and pulled Gertie's hand to look again. My eyes flipped sideways to Tommy. "It's a valid question."
"Well, I don't happen to be in a cooperative mood," Gino growled. "So take your little pictures and get out of here. Before I get a new phone to go along with my new gun."
I shrugged at Gertie and reached under my shirt for the gun I had in the waistband of my pants. "You tried." I pointed it at Gino's head, and he snorted.
"There's three of us, and I promise before you can take us all out, your friend—" A second later he screamed, Tommy hit the deck, and I had my gun aimed at Money.
"Put your hands on the table," I told him before I hollered at Gino, "Stop crying! I just took off the tip of your toe. Oh, wait. Were you planning on using it for a transplant? Well, you still have your other foot—for now. Tommy, if you want to keep your wounds down to a minimum, then get my friend's gun and we'll be on our way."
Tommy cowered on the floor, and I sighed. A hot second later he was screaming with Gino, and I smiled at Money, who jumped to his feet with the pistol he had under the table but didn't have time to aim. I tilted my head, and he set it down. "I'm getting tired of toes. Let's say we up the ante. Gertie, you pick the target."
"I think Gino might like a little company," she giggled.
"You're bluff—" Money screeched and looked terrified even though he wasn't hurt by the round I fired into the chair beside him.
"That was a bluff. My next shot won't be," I promised. "Now I suggest one of you give us what we came for because I can do this all night. I brought extra magazines, and you dumbasses are providing the incentive I need to stay for some quality practice time. Blood makes it so much better. A target is just paper, but there's something about the sound of a bullet ripping through flesh that makes it—satisfying."
The men on the floor were holding their injured feet, and Money stood like an idiot. Or another target. I shook my head at Gertie. "Is it a full moon? They seem to be running on full-blown stupid." I lost patience and Money joined his crew on the floor, howling and holding his foot. "There. Now you're a matching set. Gertie, I guess we'll have to settle for an exchange. See how you like his gun."
Gertie picked it up and tested the weight. "It's a little heavier than I like, and the grip isn't comfortable. But the balance is good."
"Give it a try," I suggested. "See if you can hit the picture on the wall above them."
"Oh, God! Don't let her kill us!" Tommy begged. Then he appealed to Gino. "You saw what happened when she aimed for us at the spa. What do you think she's gonna hit if she's aiming at something else?"
"The gun's in my suitcase," Gino confessed without taking his eyes off Gertie. "Take it and go!"
I saw the sparkle in Gertie's eyes when she said, "Maybe I could get used to a gun like this. It looks mean, doesn't it?" She aimed at the picture, closed one eye, and pretended to fire it. "Pow. I wonder how it does on toes."
"Give it here and I'll find out," I said. "You go find your gun, and I'll have a little chat with my targets."
While Gertie was searching the bedrooms I sat down and put my gun on the table next to me. Money unwisely thought it was an opportunity, but I disabused him of that idea with a swift reach and a cold smile. I field stripped and reassembled his weapon while we waited for Gertie. "I've heard the Beretta 92 is more reliable than the Glock 17, but I prefer the grip and the trigger reach of the Glock. What do you boys think?"
I tested the sighting on Money's weapon by pointing it at them. Then I removed the magazine and emptied it. "Of course they're both too big to carry discreetly. So that's why—"
Gertie appeared in the doorway and waved her gun with a smile. "All set."
"We'll let ourselves out," I said in a friendly voice. "Have a safe trip back to California."
As Ida Belle drove us to Sinful, Gertie asked, "Do you think they'll report us?"
"They won't risk the police finding out that they stole a gun and kidnapped Mary. Besides, they'd have to admit they were outmaneuvered by two women who left them with bruised egos and slightly damaged toes. I guess there's something to be said for the whole macho man mentality: it's easy to use against them." I said.