For the rest of the night, I couldn’t focus on anything. I couldn’t read, I couldn’t play Xbox, I couldn’t even make it through an episode of Teen Titans Go!
I was only able to sleep in bursts. I kept waking up, and each time I did, I started thinking about him. Then it would take me forever to fall back asleep. After about the fifth or sixth time, I gave up.
School was just as frustrating. During Teacher’s Theater Time, Mr. Acevedo read the next chapter of Glory Be, but I couldn’t tell you a single thing that happened. Come to think of it, I don’t even remember if he read to us in the room or the Amp. At lunch I think I sat with Red, Avery, and Attie, and at recess I’m pretty sure I played kickball.
Maybe.
I needed practice this afternoon. I needed basketball mode.
* * *
Basketball mode wasn’t happening. Not at all.
At the beginning of practice, Maya made a huge deal of Red coming to the Showdown. She had him take a victory lap around the gym, and then when he took his free throw, she had everyone chanting, “You’re the man! You’re the man!”
I didn’t chant. I couldn’t shake him.
When we went over breaking the press, Coach Acevedo wanted us to share what we needed to keep in mind. A-Wu brought up spreading the floor, staying away from corners, and avoiding traps. Zoe talked about how the person inbounding the ball after a basket was allowed to run the baseline, but most defenses didn’t realize it. Maya mentioned passing, how passing was faster than dribbling, and when it came to passes, you had to meet the ball, not wait for it to come to you. Diego talked about the importance of fakes—ball fakes, head fakes, bob fakes.
I didn’t say anything. In my head, I was at the Showdown. I was on the court. He was in the bleachers. I couldn’t see him, only hear him.
“Looking good, thirty-two.”
“Let’s see what you got, thirty-two.”
“Take it to the hole, thirty-two.”
Toward the end of practice, Red taught everyone his Pacer play. First, he punched up the slow-motion YouTube vid on Coach Acevedo’s iPad. Then he walked Clifton United through it and made sure everyone knew all the parts.
Each time Red looked my way, hoping I’d add something, I just stood there.