Powered by the most amazing climax of his life, Nick gathered his forces for the most important conversation of his life. He took a deep breath. “Eva, I love you.”
Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth, closed it again and swallowed without speaking.
“I don’t expect you to say it back. I’ve been into this much longer than you. I was half in love after the first haircut you gave me.”
She still looked shell-shocked.
He took another breath and soldiered on. “I fell more in love with every appointment. The past two days have convinced me this is it, the real deal.”
“Is that…” She paused to clear her throat. “Is that the thing I won’t like?”
“No, ma’am. At least I hope not. It doesn’t require anything of you. It just is. And it’s such a relief to come out and say it. I love you.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes and she blinked them away. “I’m afraid to hear the part I won’t like.”
“I probably shouldn’t have started the conversation that way.” He stroked her cheek. “I could be wrong.”
“I hope so.”
“One thing I know for sure—we’ve found something special.”
“Yes.” She swallowed. “We have.”
He took courage from her agreement. “I also know you like me quite a bit. I wouldn’t be in your bed if you didn’t. You might not be ready to call it love, but I believe it could be, given time.”
Her expression underwent a subtle change, a slight narrowing of her eyes, a tiny crease between her brows.
“But that’s only if you allow yourself to love me. That’s the part I don’t know. Will you?”
“I’m… I’m not sure what you mean.”
She was sharper than that. She knew what he was asking. She didn’t want to go there. He would, though. “There’s a danger in letting yourself love me. If you say it out loud, I might ask you to marry me.”
She gasped. “Would you?”
“Here’s the part you probably won’t like. Yes, I would, because I—”
“Stop it. Just stop it!” She scrambled to a sitting position. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?” He scooted up and leaned against the headboard.
“Ruining everything! Can’t we just have fun together? This is exactly why I told you what my position is, and now you’re—”
“In love with you. And you’re starting to fall in love with me. I can see it in your eyes when you—”
“I am not falling in love with you. I like you very much. What we’ve shared has been—”
“Off the charts, Eva. Look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t the best—”
“So what?”
“So what? What we have is rare, damn it! I never expect to find it again. That’s why—”
“That’s why you want to marry me? Well, forget that idea because I’m not marrying anyone, but especially not you!”
“Why the hell not?”
“You love baby animals and you want kids! And I—”
“I want you. I don’t give a damn if you can have kids or not.”
“Oh, you say that now, but then come the fertility tests and the medical procedures and oh, what about a surrogate? No, and hell no!”
Didn’t she know him at all? “I thought you heard what Ellie Mae said.”
“Ellie Mae?”
“At the auction. When she was introducing me.” He held her gaze. “You can count on this guy. He’ll be there for you, no matter what.”
She took a shaky breath. “I heard it.”
“Do you really think I’d say I don’t care if we have kids and then put you through hell because we can’t? Is that who you think I am?”
“No. You wouldn’t behave that way. I’m sorry.” She looked up and her eyes filled with sadness. “But that doesn’t change anything. You’d make a wonderful father. You should have kids.”
“Ever hear of adoption?”
Her jaw tightened. “Obviously. I was adopted.”
“And was that a good experience?”
“It was great.”
“So you know it can—”
“I was more like her granddaughter. She spoiled me, likely to make up for my parents’ neglect. It wasn’t a normal childhood.”
“Join the club.”
“But despite your rough beginnings, you want to be a parent.”
“Yes.”
Her chin lifted and her eyes flashed with defiance. “Well, I don’t.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really!” Her lower lip trembled. “Go fall in love with someone else.”
“Go fall in love with someone else?” Anger propelled him out of bed. Red-hot anger—with her, with himself. Grabbing his briefs and jeans from the floor, he put them on as fast as he could. Damn near caught his junk on the zipper.
“I mean it! I told you—”
“Yes, you certainly did.” He shoved the socks in his pockets and his feet in the boots. “And I didn’t listen. My bad.”
“Mine, too.” She sounded miserable. “I never should have—”
“Okay, look.” Breathing hard, he faced her. “We both made mistakes. But telling me to go fall in love with someone else…” He swallowed. “I don’t go around falling in love every day, Eva. I’ve never felt about any woman the way I feel about you. I can’t just turn that off. I’ll never turn it off.”
She stared at him. “Are you saying you’ll always—”
“Yes, Eva. Yes, I will.” Snatching his shirt from the bedpost, he stomped out of the room and took the stairs two at a time. He was out the door and down the walk in a few seconds, but like a fool, he slowed as he reached his truck. Stopped to put on his shirt.
She couldn’t come after him stark naked. She’d have to put on a bathrobe. He rounded the truck and climbed in. Sat there, watching the screen door. It didn’t open.
A soft glow from her bedroom window meant the candles were still lit. How could she stand it? Why hadn’t she blown them out? Was she expecting him to come back, apologize and ask to start over, minus the I love you bit?
He couldn’t take it back. Wouldn’t take it back. But damn, this hurt. She didn’t have to say she loved him. Or even admit she was starting to, although she was. But to suggest that all he had to do was locate a fertile woman and fall for her… ouch.
Maybe she thought that’s how love worked. Had she ever been in love? Sure didn’t sound like it. Truthfully, he’d never been in love until now, either. It had taken this ginormous emotional attachment to Eva to show him what the genuine article looked like.
It wasn’t an easy thing to deal with, this business of love. Yeah, alert the press on that one. It wasn’t like hundreds of country songs hadn’t brought that message straight to his truck’s radio. He couldn’t say he hadn’t been warned in that way, too.
He glanced over at the door again. She wasn’t coming out. And he wasn’t going up to that candlelit room. Might as well drive back to the bunkhouse. By now the guys should be asleep. Just as well. He didn’t want to talk about it.
Hell, he’d rather not live it, either. But like he’d told her, he couldn’t just turn it off. He loved her now and he’d likely love her as he was taking his last breath.
He buckled up and turned the key. Nothing happened. What the hell? Oh. He stared out the windshield at the faint evidence of headlights shining on the pavement—the headlights he’d left on when he’d walked away from the truck, desperate to hold Eva.
He switched them off, for all the good it would do. Where was his phone? Not on the dash. Please don’t let it be in her house. He ran his hand over the passenger seat and connected with it. Even had enough juice to make a call, just barely.
Rafe was going to love being dragged out of bed to come rescue his ass. He sent a text. SNAFU at Eva’s. Truck battery DOA. Assistance please.
The reply was immediate. C U soon.
He rolled down the window to get some air and unbuckled his seatbelt. Leaning against the headrest, he closed his eyes. That routine lasted two seconds.
Bolting from the cab, he stood on the pavement, hands on his hips. Walking around would be better. Except his boots felt weird without socks. Putting on socks when he was wearing jeans was a royal PITA, though.
Leaving the door open provided a measure of privacy. Grabbing the armrest for balance, he pulled off his boots. Then he shucked his jeans and laid them on the seat.
He’d tugged on one sock when Rafe’s truck rounded the corner. The guy must have been doing eighty to make it that quick. He pulled on his other sock and reached for his jeans.
Rafe slowed and switched on his high beams. Then he cut the lights and pulled alongside. His window slid down. “Did she run you out with a shotgun, Nicholas?” His voice sounded choked, like he wasn’t finished laughing but was trying to control himself.
“I left on my own.” He put on his jeans.
“In your tighty whities? Not smooth, bro.”
“I—oh, never mind. I didn’t think you’d get here so fast.” He zipped up.
“I can take a turn around the block.”
Nick sent him a look and buckled his belt.
“Let me get situated.”
“Thanks.” While Nick tugged on his boots, Rafe pulled to the far side of the street and swung wide as he came back around. After aligning his truck’s front bumper with Nick’s, he shut off the engine and climbed out. “You decent?”
“At what?” He reached under the dash and released the hood latch. “If we’re talking about making intelligent decisions, the answer is no.” He closed the door partway, went to the front of the truck and propped up the hood. “Appreciate you coming out here, bro.”
“Wouldn’t have missed it.” Rafe attached jumper cables to his truck’s battery and handed the cables to Nick. “Didn’t realize I’d be getting a show.”
“For the record, I had on my pants and boots when I left the house.” He hooked the cables to his battery. “I just didn’t take time to put on my socks, and since I had to wait for you, I—”
“Say no more. I hate the feel of boots without socks. You hooked on?”
“Yep.”
“I’ll start ’er up.” He returned to the driver’s seat of his truck and switched on the engine. Hopping down, he walked back and leaned on his front fender. “How bad is it?”
“Not too bad. The terminals look fine. It just needs—”
“Not the battery.”
“Oh.” He sucked in a breath. “Bad. She told me to go fall in love with someone else.”
Rafe blinked. “Are you telling me you deployed the L word?”
“Yep. Got to thinking about your two-year wait and decided to take the bull by the horns.”
“Damn, Nicholas.”
“Dumb, huh?”
“Yeah, but you’ve got solid brass ones, bro. What you lack in smoothness you make up for in cojones.”
“Thanks, I guess.”
“Try to start your truck.”
Nick swung into the seat and turned the key. The engine caught. “That should do it!” He climbed down, walked to the front of the truck and leaned against the fender. “We just need to give it a couple of minutes.”
“Yep.” Rafe scrubbed a hand over his face.
“Were you asleep when I texted?”
“Lucky for you I was lying there thinking about Kate. I wouldn’t have heard your text if I’d been out.”
“That was only my first move. Next I would’ve called. I don’t like hauling you out of bed, but I purely hate the idea of asking Eva.”
“Understood.” Rafe hesitated. “So it’s over between you two?”
A knife twisted in his gut. “Has to be, now that I’ve said my piece and she threw it in my face. There’s no coming back from that.”
Rafe nodded. “Same with me and Kate.”
“Now what?”
“I wish I knew, Nick.” He sighed. “I wish I knew.”