CHAPTER 27

Zakiya

I pulled out Jabrilah’s nightclothes and gave them to my new part-time nanny, Octavia. She was a forty-five-year-old mother of two. She became a nanny after her youngest son went away to college last year. She was referred by an agency and had been working on a trial basis for two weeks. So far she was okay, but no one would be able to replace Lena.

“Octavia, I’m going to be going out for a few hours. You can give Jabrilah a bath and a bottle, and she should be ready for bed.”

“Okay, we will be fine. Have a good time.”

I took advantage of Octavia’s presence by attending Dawn’s girls’ night in. I’d enjoyed myself at her daughter Jaylen’s Doc McStuffins birthday party. She was such a good mom, and her children were sweet and well-mannered. Our husbands were out of town, and this was going to be the first time I could meet all the other wives.

Dawn’s home was a huge house in a gated community. I came into her living room and her housekeeper handed me a peach Bellini. I took a sip and spoke to all the other wives and girlfriends. They were staring at their phones and oblivious to my existence. No one bothered to introduce themselves. They were white, black, and Asian. Dawn introduced each woman and told me who she was married to and what position her man played. The young pregnant white one was Cara, who looked to be about twenty; the black one, Aniqua, was pretty, but she looked a little tired; and the older Asian woman, Jessica, had to be in her thirties. “Hey everybody. This is Jabril Smith’s wife. The trade.” I squinted my eyes and she corrected herself. “I mean, the guard that we just got from OKC.”

My introduction was returned with weak “hellos” and a “nice to meet you.” They silently assessed my ring, shoes, and bag. After a subtle evaluation, they returned to their previously interrupted conversations.

“Did you see my new car? It’s an ‘I’m very sorry. It will never happen again.’ present,” Jessica said. She was pretty, but she did too much contouring to her face. She almost looked like a drag queen.

“I have a couple of those,” Aniqua chimed in.

“Well, this is an ‘I don’t know that girl, she is lying’ ring.” Cara laughed as she extended her ring finger, displaying a clear princess-cut diamond.

“Let me see. Wow, that is a sparkler,” Dawn said.

“Ring so bright I can’t see the past.” Jessica laughed.

They all started laughing.

“So how about you? Any big gifts after a cheatathon?” the woman named Jessica asked me.

“Nope,” I said and smiled. I was not talking about my man with these women I had just met.

“So he has never cheated before? Don’t answer that question. I know he has, they all do on the road. I know you just got married, but nothing changes after the wedding but your last name and what you’re entitled to when you get a divorce,” Dawn said.

“I don’t agree with that,” I responded. “There have to be some good marriages in the league. I don’t believe all men cheat. Some couples are happily married.”

“True, I’m very happy. Happy with my furs, Giuseppes, Louboutins, and my summer house.” Jessica laughed.

“She’s right. I said fuck it a long time ago. I let my husband’s girlfriends spend the night, right down the hall. I know where he is and I know he is safe. And I rest easy. Every once in a while if I want to get my pussy ate and let my husband watch, I’ll knock on the door. Sometimes, I’ll suck on a tittie or two, but I’m not doing anything else. But the point is, my husband knows I will ride for him. And it’s no other chick that can take my place. That’s why we are happy,” Dawn said proudly.

That was a little too much information for me. I felt like I was talking to Nichelle and Christie again. Straight from the gate, they were talking about cheating, sex, sharing groupie stories, talking about how somebody from another team could get it, whose man wasn’t shit, and a bunch of other things I wasn’t prepared to hear. I didn’t join in on the conversation, I just listened.

With every story, Dawn became more unrecognizable. She wasn’t the cool chick from the game who took up for me or the great hands-on mom. She became one of them, a shallow, materialistic type that I could do without.

Aniqua excused herself to the restroom. As soon as she left, her friends started talking about her.

“When she comes back, tell her she needs to go shopping. I’m tired of seeing those sweat pants. She comes out of the house all the time with no makeup.” Cara sighed.

“Yes, I’m like, girl get a stylist and someone to beat your face.” Jessica laughed.

“How is your husband a millionaire, but you’re raggedy? We all have kids, but damn, comb your hair, bitch,” Dawn agreed. I couldn’t believe they were talking about their friend like that. Aniqua came out of the bathroom and Dawn asked her if she was okay.

“Yeah, I just had another procedure a few days ago.”

“You were pregnant again? You better get on some birth control or make him use a condom.”

She coughed and then said, “He doesn’t like condoms.”

“He better start liking them. You can’t be having abortions every month. Well, I was at the abortion clinic recently, too, but not for me. I had to take Thaddeus’s little jump-off. I told her, girl, you don’t have time for a baby and Thaddeus don’t want any more kids. Soon as she got rid of it we dropped her ass and never called her again. You not having no baby by my husband.” Again all the woman laughed like what she was saying was normal and funny.

Dawn stood up and commanded everyone’s attention: “So let me tell y’all how I had to check that rookie’s mom and they had to call security. Her ratchet ass tried to come for us. First of all, she had on cheap-ass shoes with a white sticker on the bottom. And her outfit was basic as hell. Carrying a Louis Vuitton bag like it was her first Louis bag. So I said something and she heard me and tried to get loud. She got in Zakiya’s face and I stopped her and told her I said it.”

“Are you serious? Where were we?” Cara asked.

“I don’t know where y’all were, but when she came over I was like, no, bitch. We don’t do that shit here. You look a mess. You need to go change. My husband is the captain, which makes me the co-captain. And she was like, I’m Kadir Hall’s mom. And I was like, and? You’re not a wife or girlfriend. Go have several seats. Why are you even here? Zakiya, tell them about the mom.”

“Yeah, she was crazy . . .” I said uncomfortably, looking down at my drink. I didn’t want to participate in any part of this conversation.

“So, I was like, bitch, this is my city, we run this house, and I don’t approve of the way you are representing us. I told her she better not come to any more games that way.” Dawn was exaggerating how and what she said to the rookie’s mom. She did get with her, but it went down a lot different than she was claiming. I decided I didn’t like her anymore. And I really didn’t like her annoying, ignorant friends. I was uncomfortable.

“I’ll be back,” I said as I guzzled down the last of my drink. I had every intention of going to her restroom, but her front door looked more appealing. I didn’t say good-bye, I just left.

The next thing I knew, I was in my car. I turned on my radio and looked at the time on the dash. I hoped Jabrilah was still up. I would rather spend time with my daughter than be with negative women like that. On the ride home, I checked in on Lisa.

“Hey, little sis. Me and the boys will be down the week after next.”

“Okay. That’s great. We can drive down to Disney World. I can’t wait until you come. It’s so hard to have a real conversation with real people.”

“What are you talking about, Zakiya?”

“I don’t know, Lisa, I just don’t like these other players’ wives. They are all the same. All they talk about is their expensive shallow lives. There is more to life than games, makeup, and shoes.”

My sister began laughing hysterically. “This is coming from the person whose daughter has a better shoe collection than most adults.”

“That’s true, but there’s a difference. I know what’s important. And I don’t ask Jabril for these things, he just buys them. I would much rather have a regular life.”

“So, everyone is striving for extraordinary, and you are longing for regular. You are crazy, and you do not make any sense, Kiya.” My sister continued to laugh at me.

“I know what I’m talking about. Lisa, I need more. Something more.”

“Good night, girl. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I said, “Good night” and ended the call. I placed the phone down and realized the car in front of me had suddenly pushed his brakes. I tried to push on my brakes, but it was too late. The car in front of me crashed into the one in front of it. I was seconds from joining the pile-up. I tried to avoid the wreckage in front of me by steering the car away from the accident. I veered out of the way, but the car behind me tried to move out of the way, too. I turned left, he turned right, but still lost control. The car behind me came cruising sideways right toward me. There wasn’t enough time to move. I prepared for impact. “Oh, God. Please help me, please help me. Don’t let me die,” I prayed aloud as the car slammed into the side of my car. The force of the car hitting mine flung me into the passenger-side window. I hit my head, my car cruised a few feet, and then slowly stopped on its own.

Moments later, I was in a daze. I heard sirens and saw smoke coming from all the other cars. I was shaking. People were running up to my car banging on the window asking me if I was okay. I looked up and tried to speak, but I couldn’t answer them because I was still in shock.

I was transported to the hospital. I heard cries and felt panic all around me. There were hurt people everywhere. I was in a hospital bed and had come around and realized I was okay. The nurse told me I was brought in for observation, but that I didn’t have one bruise on me. I knew I had been saved. I knew God had answered my call. I called Jabril and my sister. Jabril was ready to come home, but I told him not to. He didn’t have to because—unbelievably—I didn’t have a scratch on me and felt fine. I was released from the hospital.

The next morning, I felt the need to be near the house of the Lord. God saved me from the accident, and I had to thank him. I looked online for a church and I found the Faith Tabernacle Baptist Church. They had three services, and I planned on making their eleven o’clock program.

I drove thirty minutes to the megachurch nestled in the middle of a big baseball-size field. I walked in and immediately felt at home. The women were beautifully dressed in dresses of all different colors, and the men were in nice-fitting suits. The choir was singing melodically, swaying back and forth to “God in Me” by Mary Mary. When they were done singing, the pastor began speaking. He was young and vibrant and so was his wife. He preached about having a purpose and being the person God wants you to be. His words reached me and I knew it was meant for me to be there.

After the service, the First Lady Elise spoke and asked for volunteers to feed the homeless. I walked up to an older, round woman in her forties who was taking names, and told her I wanted to sign up to volunteer.

“I would like to volunteer.”

“Welcome! What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Zakiya Smith.”

“Well, sign up right here. We will be meeting at our sister church, Rockclave Baptist. It’s kind of a bad neighborhood, so make sure to leave your good jewelry and bags at home. We will contact you with the time and date.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Excited about the service, I came home, prepared dinner, and waited for Jabril to come home. Jabrilah played on the floor with her toys making a big mess. Jabril rushed in the door and hugged me. “Kiya, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. God saved me.”

“He sure did. You’re lucky.”

“I know. I went to church today. So how’s everything going? Are you adjusting now?”

“It’s okay. I’m still getting to know their system. Everyone is hype over the rookie, Kadir Hall.”

“Is he any good?”

“Yeah. He’s good, but a little cocky, and the assistant coach acts like he’s his fan and wants to be his friend. He is sucking up to him already.”

“Well, you know who you are and what you can contribute, Jabril. And once you prove yourself . . .”

“When the season starts, I just hope I’m not on the bench, Kiya. It’s like ego aside, I can watch the game from home.”

“You won’t be, Bril.”

“I hope not. I can’t be on the bench. I’ve never been on the bench.”

“You won’t be on the bench. All we have to do is pray. Speaking of prayer, you have to go with me. The pastor at the church is young. He’s funny and hip. It’s really nice.”

“Well, pray I can get some minutes on the court.”

“I will.”

I fed and bathed Jabrilah. Once I put her to sleep I walked into our bedroom and smelled weed coming from the bathroom.

I opened the door and saw Jabril puffing on a blunt. “Why are you smoking, Jabril? What is wrong with you?”

“I need something to relax me, Kiya.”

“I don’t care. Our daughter is asleep, and she can smell that mess! It can get into her system.”

“Chill, Kiya! I’m stressed the fuck out for real. You don’t know what I’m going through.”

“And when you stressed out, you don’t smoke. You ask God to help you.”

“Really, Zakiya? You go to church one time and now you want to preach? Man, close the door. I don’t smoke all the time and if I want to chill, let me chill out.”

“Whatever, Jabril.”