CHAPTER 29

Shanice

I made it home just in time to pack. Courtney was sitting in the living room with Aunt Rhonda and my mom. I came and gave everyone a hug—except for Courtney.

“Where you going now?” Aunt Rhonda asked.

“To Dallas. I have to pack.”

Courtney volunteered to help me and followed me up the steps. I threw my new luggage on the bed. I only needed one bag. I was only staying for one night. I looked on my phone, and it was ninety degrees there. I packed nothing but a dress and a pair of shorts and t-shirt for the airport.

“You stay with nice shit. This suitcase cost like four thousand by itself. What do you want me to pack?” She opened the suitcase and a stack of hundreds fell out.

“Shani, did you know that was in there?”

“Yeah, uhm, thanks.” I really wanted to tell her to just get out of my way. “You know what? You can grab my flat irons.”

She came back in with my hair products and flat irons. Then she went right back to being nosy Courtney.

“So who gave you all that money? You still mess with that guy Jabril?” Her saying Jabril’s name stirred something in me. I hadn’t been thinking about him lately, and I wanted to keep it that way.

“No. I been stop dealing with him. Stop asking me shit. And why should I tell you anything anyway? What, do want to run and tell my business again?”

“Shani, I’m not like that anymore. I got your back. I’m sorry. I’m real sorry. How long are you going to hold on to the past? We’re family, and you have to let it go.”

“I’ll think about it.” I have to admit, having family around actually felt good. I thought that maybe I could forgive Courtney.

I texted my teddy bear from the airport. I had plenty of time to text because my flight was delayed due to a thunderstorm. By the time I made it to Dallas, there wasn’t enough time to go to the hotel. I had to change into my sexy dress and do my makeup in the airport bathroom. It was muggy, and all my curls had dropped. Then I got a message that the camera crew was stuck in New York and they wouldn’t be filming tonight. At that point, I didn’t care about the party anymore. I was going to get to the club, say hey, pick up my check, and leave.

Club Standard was halfway empty and it was 12:30. I already knew I was going to dip out by one. For some reason, I wasn’t feeling the scene. I never thought that clubbing would get old, but after a while, it does.

The promoter, Kyle, tried to apologize for the low turnout. He had no idea how happy I was. I was even thinking about seeing if I could get on an earlier flight.

“No problem.”

“Yeah, but give it another half hour or so and it will get good. I’m going to need you to announce this birthday. This NBA player that just signed with the Hornets.”

“The Charlotte Hornets?” That is the team Jabril plays for, I thought. “Did they have a game tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s the end of the Elite League, and this is their after party. So when they get here, the club will fill up.”

I wondered if Jabril was coming tonight. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. In that moment, I understood the expression “if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” I looked a mess and if Jabril was going to be in this club, he couldn’t see me like this. I applied lipstick, retouched my foundation, and fixed my hair as best I could.

I drank four shots of Pineapple Cîroc and then waited. Just like Kyle said, the club became packed as I saw the team walk in one by one. The first guy wasn’t Jabril, and neither was the second guy . . . or the fifth . . . or sixth . . . or seventh. I was hype for nothing. I got another shot. Then, in the back behind security, I saw my baby. I don’t know what held me back. I wanted to run up to him, kiss him, and wrap my legs around him. It was the first time I saw him in living color in almost two years.

My excitement quickly turned into anger. Why had he avoided me? Why hadn’t he ever checked on me? Didn’t I mean something to him? I needed my questions answered, and I needed to know now.

I didn’t care that we were in a crowded club with loud music blasting. I was going to finally have that one-on-one conversation with him. I deserved that, and he owed me. If he said to leave him alone and not to contact him again, I would do that. But I knew that he wouldn’t. I knew he had to care about me. He could have treated me like all the others, but he didn’t.

I approached the area he was seated in. I stood in front of him and said, “Jabril.” He glanced at me, trying to make out who had called him in the dark club. It took him a few minutes to process who I was. He stood up and gave me a friendly hug.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m in town. I’m hosting this party tonight.”

“Cool. Good seeing you,” he said, and then walked away to a VIP area where the rest of his team was posted up.

I couldn’t think anymore. It had to be fate. Out of all the clubs, in all the cities, on all the nights, and they asked me to host this one. I was going to say something else to him when Kyle pulled me to the stage and asked me to announce that the team was in the building. I stepped onto the stage, said something fast, and dropped the microphone. I left the stage and walked to the area where Jabril was.

“Can I talk to you, Jabril?”

He pulled out his phone and said, “Give me your number.”

“No, I want to talk to you right now!”

He looked around at the guys he was with. “This isn’t really a good time.” I wasn’t taking no for an answer. He followed me to an area in the back of the club. It wasn’t exactly the place I wanted to have a heart-to-heart, but it would have to do.

“Why haven’t you called me? I called and texted you so many times.”

“I don’t know. I been changed my number,” he said, looking around to see who was tuned in to our discussion.

I looked directly in his eyes, and I couldn’t tell if he still loved me or not. I didn’t have anything to lose. I had to tell him how I really felt.

“Jabril, I never stopped thinking about you. You’ve been on my mind. I need you. Seeing you tonight is a confirmation that my feelings haven’t changed. I miss you. I love you, and no one has ever made me feel the way you did. Do you miss me? Do you love me?”

“I did, but, you know, I’m happily married now . . .”

“Yeah. I know, but we were still good friends. We had some good times, right? I just want to be there for you.”

“Shanice, I was feeling you back then, but after everything that went down, I changed. I can’t go back down that path. I can’t afford it. And I don’t need any drama in my life.”

“What does that mean? I took that case for you. I never brought you drama.”

“It means I am doing everything the right way now. I only have a drink every now and then. Not really smoking. Since I’ve been married, I don’t cheat. So I doubt that I can be that type of friend to you again.”

“I understand. Well, maybe I can just call you from time to time.”

“We can do that, but I can’t give you anything else.” He inserted his new area code and number in my phone and I felt victorious. I didn’t get to take him back to my hotel room, but I had his number and that was a start.