The next morning was Sunday, the day of the corn roast, and Nora’s cell phone rang while she was feeding Bobbie. She fumbled with the phone and picked it up, pinching the handset between her shoulder and ear. Bobbie’s big brown eyes were fixed on Nora’s face as she drank.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Nora Carpenter?”
“Speaking.” A dribble of milk dripped down Bobbie’s chin, disappearing into the cloth Nora had waiting on the baby’s chest. She was getting better at this—anticipating burps and dribbles like a pro.
“This is Tina Finlayson from the adoption agency. Do you have time to talk?”
After a few brief pleasantries, Tina got down to business. “I’ve just had a home visit with some new clients this morning, and I have a feeling this is something that would interest you.”
Nora looked at the clock on the wall. It was nine in the morning on a weekend. “That’s early.”
“They have a toddler who is an early riser. In my line of work, I make a point of being flexible.”
She felt a wave of regret. Emails were one thing, but a phone call made all of this feel a lot more real. Was she absolutely certain about this?
“I haven’t made my decision yet about whether I’ll be finding another home for them,” Nora qualified. “I know we’ve been emailing—”
“I don’t mean for this to pressure you, but it might help to have some concrete information to work with. Are you interested in knowing a bit about them?”
Nora adjusted Bobbie in her arms, and the infant stretched out a leg. This wasn’t a decision—it was only getting some facts. Right? That was what she’d been telling herself all along.
“All right,” she agreed.
“These are people in a suburb of Billings,” Tina went on. “He’s a children’s psychologist and she’s a stay-at-home mom. They live in a large home, are financially secure and they’re looking to expand their family. They have one adopted son who is three right now, and they are looking to adopt siblings. They’d love newborns, but they know that isn’t always possible.”
Nora realized she’d been holding her breath and she released it. They sounded perfect, actually.
“Would they be able to deal with triplets?” she asked.
“The mother has two sisters living in the same neighborhood,” Tina went on. “And his parents live on a nearby acreage where they have horses and a hobby farm. So they’d have plenty of support in baby care.”
A family that could offer the girls everything from cousins and grandparents to horseback riding on weekends. A father who was trained in child psychology would be an excellent support as they grew up, and a mom at home with them, too. They’d even have an older brother to grow up with.
What could Nora offer? She had a job in Billings—so she couldn’t stay home with them. There would be day care, a single mom struggling to make ends meet and little extended family if Nora wanted to protect the girls from all the talk. But they would be loved. The most valuable thing she could offer was her heart, and right now that hardly seemed enough.
“Do they know about the girls?” Nora asked.
“I told them only the basics,” Tina said. “That you weren’t positive about what you wanted to do yet, but there was the possibility of three newborns becoming available. They were very eager to hear about them.”
Of course. For another family, these three babies would be an answered prayer, a dream come true. Didn’t the girls deserve to be wanted that desperately?
“Maybe I could meet them,” Nora said.
“That would be wonderful,” Tina agreed. “Don’t feel pressured, but we could set up a little meeting where you could see them in person, get a feel for the type of family they are and you could see where you stand then. They might even be willing to have an open adoption where you could receive updates on how the girls are doing and perhaps be included in some major life events.”
Not a complete goodbye...that might be something.
Nora’s parental leave wouldn’t last forever, and right now she was getting a fraction of her normal pay. Maybe it was better to meet this family before she got so attached to the triplets that she couldn’t possibly change her mind.
“Are they free today?” she asked.
“Let me call them and see if we can set something up. I’m sure they’d be very happy to meet with you.”
As it turned out, the family was more than happy to meet with her that day. Dina agreed to watch the babies, and Nora drove the three hours into Billings. Her GPS led her down the wide streets of a new subdivision, large houses on either side of the road. It was picturesque, idyllic city life. This was the kind of neighborhood that Nora couldn’t hope to afford.
She found the house, and when she parked in the driveway, the front door opened and the dad came out, a toddler in his arms.
“Hi,” he said, holding out his hand to shake hers as she slammed the driver’s side door shut behind her. “I’m Mike. This here is Bryce.”
Nora shook his hand then smiled at the toddler. He was clean with blond curls and new clothes.
“Nice to meet you both,” she said. “I didn’t bring the girls—my mom is watching them right now.” Why did she feel the need to explain to these people?
“Totally understandable,” Mike said and as she came around the truck she saw his wife, Sarah. She was pretty—brunette waves framing her face, big eyes and plump lips. She looked like she’d give good hugs. Blast it—why did she have to be so perfect?
But this wasn’t a competition. This was about a situation beyond her control, and what would be better for the girls. Yet somehow, Nora didn’t much like this motherly looking woman. They shook hands, too.
Tina had arrived before Nora had, so they had some professional guidance for their meeting. And over the course of the next hour, Nora toured their home, which had two extra bedrooms that weren’t being used, a hot tub out back and a large vegetable garden that Sarah apparently had time to keep up. The kitchen was covered in little drawings that Bryce had done—scratching on paper with a fisted crayon, by the looks of it.
The house was clean, and the couple was affectionate and seemed to be in a secure and happy marriage. They even showed her some family photo albums from their wedding onward. They seemed to travel a lot.
“What are you looking for in a family for the girls?” Sarah asked once they were all seated in the living room. Nora had an untouched iced tea in front of her. Tina was smiling encouragingly at all of them.
“I don’t know exactly,” Nora said. Was there anything this family was missing? “A loving home, enough money to raise them well, a supportive extended family...”
Sarah and Mike exchanged a hopeful smile.
“Do you have any questions for us?” Mike asked.
“Have you considered an open adoption?” Nora asked. “It’s going to be so hard to let go of them, and...” She didn’t even know how to finish that.
“I had mentioned that it was a possibility,” Tina said, her tone professional.
“We’d be willing to talk about that,” Mike said with a nod. “They used to think that just closing all those doors was best for the children, but not anymore. It’s good for kids to know that it was hard for their families to give them up. And if they can have contact with their birth family—limited, of course, without drama and stress—it’s thought to be better for the kids overall.”
“And we’re interested in what’s best for the children,” Sarah added. “Children aren’t owned, they’re lent to us by God. And that’s not an honor we take lightly.”
“How much contact with the girls would you want?” Mike asked, and Nora didn’t miss the caution that entered his tone.
“I don’t even know.” Nora swallowed then heaved a sigh. She felt like she was failing here—sitting in the living room of a “better” family, interviewing a couple that would be a stronger support to the babies she adored.
“Do you have any pictures of them?” Sarah asked.
Nora shook her head, and she suddenly felt protective. She didn’t want to share photos of the girls. She didn’t want to get this couple’s hopes up, either. Knowing that a couple was interested in adopting the babies was one thing, but seeing that interest shining in their eyes hit Nora in a whole new place. This was real—too real. But she was here to see who they were—what they had to offer.
“They’re two weeks old now,” Nora said. “Their names are Riley, Rosie and Roberta.”
“My grandmother’s name was Rosie,” Sarah said with an encouraging smile.
Would they even get to keep their names? Or would Bobbie turn into a Tiffany or an Elsa? All things that Nora hadn’t thought about until this moment. And she’d have no control over that. This couple could rename them, and who would Nora be to complain? This room was suddenly feeling very small, and Nora glanced toward the door.
“To be honest,” Nora said, “I haven’t made up my mind. I’m pretty sure Tina told you that.”
“Yes, it was clear,” Mike said. “We aren’t trying to pressure you.”
Of course not. They were trying to impress her, show her the beautiful home they could give to the girls, if only Nora could find it in her to walk away from them.
“I love these girls.” Tears misted Nora’s eyes. “If I could provide for them, I’d keep them in a heartbeat. I don’t want to do this. At all. I hate this, as a matter of fact.”
“We understand.” Sarah leaned forward. “It can’t be easy.”
Why did this woman have to be sympathetic, too? Couldn’t she just show a crack already? Reveal some imperfection?
Bryce sidled up to his mother and she scooped him into her arms. He settled into his mother’s lap, and she smoothed his hair with one porcelain hand. One day in the not-too-distant future, the girls would be toddlers like Bryce, and they’d be coming for hugs and attention—reminders that they mattered. Did Nora want to give that up? Or did she want to be the one who got to scoop them into her lap and cuddle them close? Could she really let another woman do that?
This wasn’t about what she wanted...this was about her financial and emotional reality. If she’d given birth to them herself, she might feel better about dragging them through hard times in her wake, but she wasn’t their biological mother. And they deserved better than what she could offer.
She looked at her watch. It was only one-thirty, but it was a three-hour drive back, and they still had the corn roast today. She’d seen enough of this couple to know what they could offer, and it wasn’t Mike and Sarah who were the problem.
“Thank you for meeting with me.” Nora stood up abruptly. “I have a lot to think over.”
Everyone else stood, too, and Nora looked around herself for a moment. She held all the power right now, and they were all being incredibly nice about it... What was the polite way to get out of here?
“If you’d like to talk further, Mike and Sarah, you can give me a call and I’ll contact Nora on your behalf. And the same goes for you, Nora.” Tina was handing out business cards. “Sometimes after everyone has had a chance to think things through, choices are a little easier. This has been a very good start.”
Tina made it all sound so normal, but nothing about this felt normal. Mike and Sarah were a lovely couple, and she hoped they managed to adopt a whole heap of kids, because they had a lot to offer. But her girls...
Nora said her goodbyes—shook hands, thanked people for their time—and then escaped to her truck. She needed to call her mom and see how the babies were doing, and then she needed to get back. This was the longest she’d been away from the girls since their birth, and instead of a welcome break the way coffee with Kaitlyn had been, this felt like guilt-ridden abandonment.
Was it possible that she’d already passed the point of no return—that she was selfish enough to put her needs before what was best for the girls?
Easton looked forward to the corn roast every year—light duties, good food and a chance to relax. This year was the first one without Cliff. In a way, today would be goodbye to the boss they’d all loved.
The day started out like any other with general ranching duties, but when those were complete, he and some other ranch hands started the fire pits that would be used to boil corn and bake potatoes. Several barbecues would cook up everything from sausages to steaks. Then they’d indulge in a veritable feast.
“Tony, carry that tub of ice over to the table,” Easton said, and the ranch hand in question gave a nod and headed in that direction.
Trucks were arriving in a steady flow now—family giving hugs and waving to each other. Dale and Audrey arrived, and Dale spotted him across the yard and tapped his hat in a salute. Audrey made straight for the babies, but there were already a few ladies who’d beat her there.
He found himself watching the hubbub around the babies more closely than he needed to. Nora was there—she had it well in hand. He had no reason to supervise, but he made note of where the girls were. Audrey had Rosie, Nora held Bobbie and another aunt held Riley, but then there was a trade off and someone else had Bobbie—why on earth was he bothering about this?
Easton pulled his attention away and noticed Dina coming in his direction.
“Easton!” she called. “We need to bring one more table out to where the barbecues are—do you mind?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, touching the rim of his hat.
Easton gestured for another ranch hand to help him, and they headed around the side of the barn to the shed where folding tables and chairs were stored. They returned a few minutes later, carrying the large table between them, and that was when he spotted it...
Tony was moving a box of unshucked corn, and as he turned, he swung the box past a woman who had Riley in her arms. The box came within a breath of the baby. Easton’s temper snapped and he dropped his end of the table and marched in Tony’s direction.
“What was that?” he bellowed.
“What?” Tony looked around.
“Did you see her?” Easton demanded. “You came within an inch of the baby!”
“There was lots of space,” Tony retorted. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” Easton said. “Get over here!”
Tony complied, and Easton couldn’t quite explain this level of rage. He normally operated on a “no harm, no foul” philosophy, but there was something about those babies that sparked a protective instinct in him.
“The corner of a box connecting with a baby’s head would be fatal,” Easton said, keeping his voice low and his glowering gaze firmly on the ranch hand in front of him. “There are three newborns and numerous kids around. You walk carefully and look where you’re going.”
Tony seemed annoyed, but he nodded anyway, and Easton let him get on with his work. Another ranch hand helped get the table over to the barbecues, and Easton looked around. It was all running smoothly. One of the large cauldrons of water had already come to a boil and two uncles were feeding corn into it. A couple of ranch hands were checking the temperature of the barbecues. The food was starting, the setup was virtually complete and now they’d all cook and eat. Mission accomplished. He still felt irritable and unsettled. What was his problem?
Nora stood with a group of family. Kaitlyn was there, too—and across the yard her husband, Brody, was chatting with some other men. But it wasn’t Kaitlyn who drew his eye—it never had been. Nora’s hair shone golden in the smattering of sunlight, and his heart sped up a little at the sight of her. His irritation wasn’t rational. Nora was being friendly, but there was still a gulf between them—family and staff were in different ranks around here. And he wanted more. Blast it, that was the problem—he’d been happy enough over on this side of things when Cliff was around. He’d been grateful for the opportunity to work here, grateful for a boss who was willing to help him mature as a rancher. But now it wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful...he wasn’t satisfied.
Easton was respected, liked, trusted by the family... He was relied upon, irreplaceable in their eyes, but he was still hired help, and looking across the ranch yard at Nora, he realized what he wanted—to be next to her. Not as a friend. Not as the ranch manager. Not as a secret, either. He wanted to be with her, the man by her side.
There was work to be done, and he was the manager around here, so he turned away to check on the barbecues. Cliff wasn’t here anymore to keep everything running smoothly. That responsibility was Easton’s now.
From across the yard, he heard Rosie’s soft cry. Strange that he should be able to pick out which baby was crying, but he could. The last little while with the girls in his house had attuned him to their schedules and the sound of their whimpers and wails. He glanced over to see Audrey trying to shush the little thing. Nora was feeding Bobbie her bottle, and Riley was with a younger cousin who looked absolutely thrilled to be holding a baby. Kaitlyn took Rosie from Audrey’s arms, but Rosie wouldn’t be soothed, and she wouldn’t take the bottle, either.
“Everything okay, boss?” Tony asked, following the direction of Easton’s gaze.
“Yeah, of course.”
Easton turned away. This wasn’t his job, and he tried to ignore that plaintive cry. She was in good hands—most of the women there had raised babies of their own. But he couldn’t cut himself off from Rosie’s wail. It wasn’t just “some baby,” it was Rosie, who normally was happy as long as she was being cuddled.
Why couldn’t he just tune this out? It was like Rosie’s cry was tugging at him.
Tony had the barbecues under control. He turned and strode across the yard.
Rosie’s face was red with the effort of her cries. Her tiny fists pumped the air, and while all logic said that he shouldn’t have any more success than Audrey did, he had a feeling that he might.
“Howdy,” he said, giving Audrey a disarming smile. “Let me try.”
“What?” Audrey looked surprised to be spoken to, let alone that Easton would offer to take the baby from her. “No, I’m fine. Thank you.” She turned bodily away from him as if he was some stranger instead of the man who’d been helping to care for these babies for the last couple of weeks.
“Audrey, let him,” Nora said from a few paces away.
The older woman reluctantly passed the infant over, and Easton gathered her up in his arms, flipped her onto her back and patted her diapered rump with a few firm pats. Rosie’s wails stopped, and she opened her eyes, looking up at him in mild surprise.
“Hey, there,” he said quietly. “Miss me?”
Rosie blinked a couple of times and opened her mouth in a tiny yawn.
“Well, I’ll be—” Audrey said, her tone chilly. “I don’t think he’s washed his hands, Nora.”
“He’s fine,” Nora replied. “Rosie likes him.”
And she didn’t like Audrey—that much was clear. It was a strange relief to have this little girl in his arms again, and to know that she wasn’t crying her heart out anymore, either. That irritating tug at his heartstrings had relaxed, and he heaved a sigh.
“That did the trick,” Nora said, coming up beside him. “Thanks.”
“Yeah, sure.” He smiled slightly then put Rosie up on his shoulder. She snuggled into his neck. “Not sure how I’m going to do anything else around here, though.”
“Supervise.” Nora shot him a grin. “I’m sure Rosie would love the walk around.”
So he’d be a cowboy trotting around with a baby in his arms. Somehow that didn’t seem so bad. He might not be family, but he was the answer to Rosie’s cries, and that resonated deep inside him in a way that he knew would only hurt all the more when this was over.
And his time here at the Carpenter ranch was coming to an end. He’d known that Cliff’s death had changed things, but Nora’s return home had solidified that in his mind. Easton reached out and tucked a tendril of hair behind Nora’s ear. He’d miss her—oh, how he’d miss her. He’d miss these girls, too. But any more time spent at the Carpenter ranch, and he’d never be able to disentangle his heart.
Sometimes a man had to put his future first.
Nora let one of her cousins take Bobbie from her arms, and she glanced back toward Easton. He was walking Rosie around the fence and appeared to be pointing out horses to her. She had foggy memories of being held in her own father’s strong arms, her dad sitting her on the top rail of the fence and pointing out the horses. She’d have been three or four at the time, but the similarity still made her heart ache.
Why was it that a man could make an excellent father, and still not be capable of fidelity? What was it her dad had said about Easton? “He’s a younger version of myself, Nora. You could do worse.”
Daddy, you ruined him for me...
Her father had ruined a lot of things for her, now that his secret was out. He’d broken a part of her foundation.
“He loves the babies,” Kaitlyn said, coming up next to her.
“Yeah...” Nora nodded. “They took to him.”
She shouldn’t have agreed to stay with Easton. She’d been thinking of giving her mother space, but instead she’d gotten herself into an impossible situation—playing house, almost. They weren’t a couple, but sharing a bathroom and a kitchen made imagining herself as part of a couple that much easier...
Kaitlyn looked pale and she slid a hand over her stomach.
“You okay?” Nora asked.
“I think the corn’s not sitting right.”
Was the corn off? That wouldn’t be good. But Nora could see several other people munching on butter-drenched corn on the cob, and no one else looked sick.
“Do you want a drink?” Nora asked. “There are cans of ginger ale on the table.”
Kaitlyn nodded. “Yeah, I think I’ll get one.”
Her husband, Brody, was already at the drink table, and Nora watched as her friend tipped her head against Brody’s shoulder. He slid an arm around her waist, and Nora couldn’t help but feel a stab of envy. Brody handed his wife a can of ginger ale, and Nora didn’t miss the way he looked at her. Kaitlyn had it all—the doting husband, the supportive extended family, a home that was ready for kids.
Like the adoptive family in Billings who were anxiously awaiting her decision, she realized bitterly. They were ready for more children. They had it all, too—the home, the marriage, the money, the career... Everything that Nora lacked, that family could give. And family most definitely mattered.
Nora turned back toward her own milling family and ranch hands, who were starting to line up for freshly barbecued sausages and burgers. A family was more than support, it was a library of personal histories. Family never forgot the details, even if you’d rather they did. Rewriting history wasn’t possible with a family this size—there was no avoiding the truth.
It was one thing to embrace who you were, but it was that very history that would plague these girls for the rest of their lives in this town. Did she want to raise them and have them move away from her as quickly as possible to get away from the dysfunctional family tensions?
Rosie seemed to have fallen asleep on Easton’s shoulder, and he patted her back idly, chatting with one of the ranch hands.
Babies were simple—diapers, bottles, hugs. It was raising the older versions of these triplets that truly intimidated her. And she couldn’t do it alone. Sometimes true love meant hanging on through thick and thin, and other times it meant backing off to allow happiness to come from someone else. As much as she hated to consider it, giving the girls up might be the best choice.